Most of the time,

Most of the time, we are all one people in America. This is true in times of war or peace, good times and bad times. It was certainly true after 9/11. There is one exception to that it seems. Not that it really bothers me anymore. I'm "over that" as the saying goes, but I read an article in this mornings edition of the Hartford Courant and it made me think of this topic again. It was 1978 I believe when the gay community came out with "The Gay Olympics". It was basically a scaled down version of The Olympics, but for the gay community. The first couple of years were ok in terms of participating athletes. After that, the events started to attract more world-class athletes (many of whom were straight) that wanted to compete. That's when the International Olympic Committee told the community that it could not use the word "olympics" to describe the games. After going all the way to court, the court sided with the International Olympic Committee. The Gay Olympics were therefore renamed to the Gay Games.

Since that time, we have had the Frog Olympics, the K-9 Olympics, the Special Olympics, and many others. The International Olympic Committee seems to have no problem with those. Bigotry? I don't know. But I do have to admit that it seems that my community has been singled out just a bit. I found a couple of sources that aren't bad reading if you want to know more:

Why can't the Gay Games be the Gay Olympics?
Crushing the Gay Olympics - The USOC's homophobic past

There was an excellent article in this mornings edition of the Hartford Courant on the front page of the Commentary Section. It was entitled "Marriage is a Civil Right for Everyone". The article, written by Anne D'Alleva, an associate professor of women's studies/art history at the University of Connecticut, Storrs, is well written and thought provoking. We are married in every way that matters. Personally, I no longer care if it has to be called a "civil union" vs a "marriage". I used to be bothered by that because it was discriminatory just to make a difference of the two. Now, I have become too cynical about the world and more realistic to think that people will ever be enlightened enough to see the truth. What really concerns me now are all the legal protections that the state and federal governments have granted marriage. The separation of church and state stopped a long time ago. If anyone feels differently, they are fooling themselves. Marriage in it's essence is a religious covenant that joins two people together. If the church sees fit to exclude certain people for that institution, so be it. BUT.... the state and federal government have made laws to legally protect and sanction marriage. I, as a tax payer, pay for those. The government must be equitable on this and in time, I think it will be. All the laws that are being created now at the state level to prevent "gay marriage" in various states will eventually be challenged and found to be unconstitutional, but that will take time. Will my partner and I ever see federal legal protections of our marriage? Probably not. Hopefully, we will live long lives and not be sick. If one of use goes to the hospital, the other will not be allowed in because we are not legally married. If one of us dies before the other, the one left will have to fight for what is left of the estate since there are no legal remedies to deal with this. The only recourse right now is a will, and that does not carry the same weight as a marriage. Nor does it deal with all the other rights (such as visitation rights) of same-sex partners.

I even asked my company to consider doing the right thing and extend health insurance benefits to same-sex partners within the company. There are a few couples within our company that would benefit from it. They didn't want to hear about it and said that they might consider it in the future. In other words "shut up Bill and take what we give you."

The typical married couple in America receives over 160 benefits and rights by virtue of their union. It seems ironic that a heterosexual couple married for one hour, has more rights and benefits than a same-sex couple that has been together for 30 years. The following is only a sample of some of the rights and benefits provided by legal marriage.

Insurance benefits through a spouses employer
Insurance discounts offered to married couples and related persons living in same household
Veterans/military benefits offered to spouses (education, medical care, housing loans)
Income tax deductions, credits and exemptions
Tax relief for natural disaster losses
Immigration of foreign partners
Witness and court testimony rights
Community property rights
Payment of wages for deceased partners and workers compensation benefits
Right to enter into pre-marital agreement
Automatic rights of survivorship
Consent to post-mortem examination
Right to make burial arrangements
Bereavement leave for partner, child, or partner's close relative
Family leave to care for partner or child during illness
Right to make decisions in medical emergencies ( "next of kin")
Visitation rights for partner or child in hospital or other public institutions
Custodial rights for a seriously injured partner
Right to file a wrongful death suit
Tuition discounts/use of facilities
Commercial discounts/incentives offered only to married couples or families
Joint child custody, adoption and foster care rights
Equitable divison of property, child custody, visitation rights and support in the case of divorce
The right to obtain domestic violence protection orders
Joint parenting
Joint adoption
Joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents)
Joint insurance policies for home, auto and health
Dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support
Immigration and residency for partners from other countries
Inheritance automatically in the absence of a will
Joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house or apartment
Inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate)
Benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare
Spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home
Veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans; joint filing of tax returns
Joint filing of customs claims when traveling
Wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children
Decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her
Crime victims' recovery benefits
Loss of consortium tort benefits
Domestic violence protection orders
Judicial protections and evidentiary immunity

Most of these legal and economic benefits cannot be privately arranged or contracted for. For example, absent a legal (or civil) marriage, there is no guaranteed joint responsibility to the partner and to third parties (including children) in such areas as child support, debts to creditors, taxes, etc. In addition, private employers and institutions often give other economic privileges and other benefits (special rates or memberships) only to married couples. And, of course, when people cannot marry, they are denied all the emotional and social benefits and responsibilities of marriage as well.