Weekly happenings...

It's a quiet Friday night. Kent is on his way home from Washington, D.C., and I'm surfing the web. In the other room the TV is on making noise in what appears to be Jurassic Park III. It's not a bad movie actually, but I felt like writing. It's been a decent week and I got a lot done as far as work goes. It's difficult to stay focused on work and my personal life when the rest of the world seems to be falling apart. Within weeks, I would think that we would be at war with Iraq for the second time. It seems that most of the world hates the United States at times. I think we are arrogant to think that we can force the world to be as we are. I'm proud of our country and I know what we believe is worth fighting for, but at some point we have to realize that every nation has to plot it's own course through history. We are but one of many.

Life is a strange animal. At times I feel like I'm just going along for the ride, without much control on which direction I'm going. There's so much you can't control - the attitudes of people, the relationships that you have with family, or friends. We live in a world that does not foster trust. I just had a friend ask me for money. And, against everything that I am and everything I feel inside for him, I turned him down. Not because that I wouldn't do anything for a friend, but I'm not sure if he is a friend. You see, I've never met him. I know him from online only. We have talked for a couple of years. I have offered at times to meet him with Kent. He would bring his girlfriend (they have since broken up). The point is, he's never shown much interest in meeting with us to get to know us. This raises a couple of questions or issues. The obvious one is coming to terms with the doubt that one has in this world over who is trying to mess with you and who is a true friend. It's sad that I have had friends in the past who have taken advantage of me and thrown my friendship in my face as though it were a worthless piece of garbage. Unfortunately for me, friendship is the highest form of endearment that one can realize in this world that we live in. I can offer money to this friend of mine that I've never met. He praises that because he needs money so very badly. I've spent most of my life in self loathing and thinking that my friendship is worthless - indeed thinking that I am worthless. It's taken me this long to realize that it's not me. This friend who wants money may indeed be a friend, but he has had time to show it in so many ways. Why now must I step up to the plate and prove that I am a friend with something as cheap as money? Has the world gotten to a place that friendship has a price tag? Is my friendship worth $450? Is that all it's worth? Maybe I should auction it off on EBay. "Selling FRIENDSHIP. Asking price: $450!". For all I know, he would use it for drug money. I don't know what his situation is.

I'm going to bed now. I've had enough for today. There's a few items I thought I'd share with you all. One is the typical thing that happens day in and day out... another boring story about how two gay men are being kept out of a "married only" housing unit. Hell, they should be glad that were have beaten to death, as was the case if my other two stories. I promise, I'll try harder to find some brighter news next time. Good night.