October 2003 Archives
Life is difficult.
I have been mentally under the weather lately and not having the desire or energy to write anything. You ever have those periods of time where you wonder what the point is with anything? I was having lunch today and was thinking about my life and things in the past.
I marvel at people who can keep the different periods of their life from all mixing together. Someone you love dies and you bury them. After mourning, you get on with your life. A lot of people go on and seem to be able to do pretty well. To me, life is like a collage (Merriam-Webster: an assembly of diverse fragments). The fragments of life don't stay in time, but are part of my life now. I was having a peaceful lunch, and a fragment of my life from 1984 came back to me full force. I was in a nursing home. I was sitting on my mothers bed. We had visited. It was close to time for me to leave. I was catching a plane back to my home in San Francisco. I said goodbye. She looked at me and said "I love you honey". I said "I love you too". I got up and walked out through the doorway.
On the other side of the wall, I stopped. A voice inside of me said, "Are you sure you want to leave? You will not see her again." I left. I got almost to the exit of the building, and started crying. How many times did that voice talk to me when I left my friends who had AIDS? How many times was it right. It was always right. I said, "damn you! leave me alone!". I got to the car. I cried for an hour knowing that my mother was yards away from me, and I left.
So today, I'm at lunch and this fragment of memory invades my privacy and violates my emotions. I do feel violated. I want to know why I must relive painful experiences such as this over and over and over. Don't get me wrong. I have what most would consider a good life. My short experience on this earth has been filled with rich experiences, good and bad. I can't honestly say that I don't want the awful memories of what has happened in the past to be part of me, because the awful stuff also has fond memories associated with it. I guess that is what life is about. You take the good with the bad. It's just that at times it crashes down on me a bit. Is anyone else like this? Doctors call it "depression" but I get the feeling that it is very common with many of us. I sometimes think that doctors look for a word to describe everything. Once they have a name for what you have, sure enough they will have a pill to take for it.
I think we are over medicated in this country. I used to take antidepressants all the time. It made it difficult to even do my job. It got to a point that I had to make a decision on which was worse, the depression or the cure for it. In the end, I gradually took myself of medication over a period of three months. Today, I'm not clear of depression, as the week proves, but now I can see it coming from a mile away. Of course, each time is a challenge to see how much control I will maintain. It's a battle at times. This week has been exceptionally difficult.
Now that the week is nearing an end, I can also feel the depression lifting. I've thought over the week on what could have precipitated it, and have no clear answers. Maybe it's purely chemical and not within my control.
It's been a crazy weekend for us. Thursday night we stopped by to get our tux's for the party we went to Friday night. We went to the Alumni Awards Ceremony at the Wadsworth Atheneum. It was nice and I must say, we looked great.
We got there around 7:00pm for the reception. It was an open bar. At 8:00 we were taken into the dining area. The food was good (for a banquet), and the speeches were entertaining as well.
Afterwards, we all came back to our place and continued the festivities with champagne, cheese, munchies, etc. We had a great time, although I did wake up with a headache the next morning (perhaps too much champagne?).
The following day, we went to Nicholas' birthday party. He turned 3 years old this year. It was a great time. We stayed for a couple of hours to watch him open his presents and have a bit of cake. Then, we had to rush back home to get dressed for the opera that night. I was afflicted with allergies all day, and as it turned out, wasn't able to make the opera that night. So, I stayed home and got some extra sleep.
Sunday was a lazy day. We went to breakfast. I still had the allergies, but it seemed to get a bit better after breakfast. We went back home for a photo shoot with just us in our tux's. I wanted to try to get a nice picture of us for the calendar we are putting together for Christmas presents this year. We have one that I think turned out pretty well.
The only casualty of the weekend was my car. While I was at the market, some lady backed into it. It sucks. It's not that big of a dent. I took it to a body shop this morning and they said it would take $900 to fix. I'm taking it back tomorrow and they are going to try to pop it back out (honestly, it's a small dent). The $900 was to completely replace the side panel, which seems dumb to me. If it weren't a leased car, I would probably think about it, but I will replace it in one year. They are going to try to pop it back out free of charge, so I'll see how it looks after that.
Other than all of that... I'm having some issue again with depression. It's clinical. Nothing has happened to precipitate it per se. It's something that I seem to have to battle from time to time, but I'm determined to not go on medication to combat it. I've been there and it's no fun. If it gets out of control, I know I'll have no choice, but I'm hoping that I can keep a lid on it.
One of the things that seems to help me with depression is to try to maintain a strict schedule of activity. After work today, it's off to the gym for a nice workout. I always feel better after a workout and my spirits seem higher.
I've been thinking a lot about a couple of friends who just went to Canada to get married. They live in the United States, so it won't be recognized as being legal here. The thing that really sucks about it is that no one went to their wedding - none of their families. The witnesses that they had were some clerks who happened to be working at the time. In other words, people they didn't even know.
Kent and I have talked about going to Canada this Thanksgiving to Montreal to get married. It would mean nothing when we got home. I have to live with that realization. But, I don't know how I would feel not being able to share the joyous occasion with friends. Somehow, I think that would be worse than just not doing it.
I'll have to think more on this. Will we ever have anything to share with people that involves the love we feel for each other, or will we always just be a couple of gay guys that people know... with our relationship, or marriage being totally unacknowledged by anyone... or society? Does it mean nothing to anyone, but us?
"Not allowing all people access to the legal rights of marriage essentially denies some people's relationships. All love is of equal value. Stepping back from signing paperwork is my creative response to systemic discrimination."
It's rare to see ministers and pastors stand up for what they believe in. Most of them are "in the closet" when it comes to standing by what they believe in. I know. The last church I was going to was "open and affirming". Well, as long as the "ceremony" blessing the relationship wasn't too public. They really didn't want to be too public about doing it and would never call it a wedding. To me, there is nothing open or affirming about that.
If you are "open", it's called a "gay wedding" or, a "wedding" of people of the same sex. If you are "affirming", you welcome the couple into your congregation as a couple, not individuals.
At my church, I saw several same-sex couples eventually leave the church out of disappointment and frustration. I decided not to pursue the issue for myself. My relationship is frankly worth more than that.
The minister in this story is putting action behind her words. She made a decision that she will not perform heterosexual weddings until weddings of homosexual couples are recognized.
EXETER - minister of the First Unitarian Society of Exeter is taking her own stand on same-sex marriages.
Kendra Ford says in keeping with the true spirit of her faith, she will continue to perform wedding ceremonies, but no longer will sign marriage licenses for any couples until she can sign them for all couples - heterosexual and homosexual.
Heterosexual couples will have to spend a few extra dollars to have their marriage license signed by a justice of the peace or other public official. The signing is not available to same-sex couples because New Hampshire does not legally recognize such marriages.
"I don't mean to prevent anyone from getting legal recognition. I simply want to act in accordance with my belief," said Ford, who said she is not gay.
I'm taking today off from work to prepare for this weekend's activities/festivities. Tonight we are going to a dinner with friends where a couple of our friends will be honored at an awards dinner. It's a formal dinner and tux's are required. Instead of the traditional black/white tux, I opted for one with black/gray strips. The shirt will be red and I’ll wear a black ascot. It's a bit more daring, but that's me.
Tomorrow night we are going to see Barber of Seville by Gioachino Rosini. It should be a lot of fun. Sunday, we rest.
I came across an interesting article that came out yesterday on how the Bible looks at gay people and gay relationships, called "What does the Bible actually say about being gay?" It's worth a read if you are interested in that sort of thing. Me... I'm perfectly happy with who and what I am and don't need scholarly analysis to tell me that I am a kind and giving person with a big heart (I only say it because it's true). I always think that a lot of folks are going to be surprised when they pass on, only to find that Jesus looks into a person's heart to find their true nature. How will you fair with Him if your heart is filled with hate for others? Are you reading this Fred Phelps???
Speaking of Jesus... Actor Jim Caviezel (super hunk) has been struck by lightning (story) while playing Jesus in Mel Gibson's controversial film The Passion Of Christ.
The lightning bolt hit Caviezel and the film's assistant director Jan Michelini while they were filming in a remote location a few hours from Rome.
It was the second time Michelini had been hit by lightning during the shoot.
Neither of them was badly hurt, according to the film's producer Steve McEveety.
For the Catholics out there who are reading this, I came across this article, Catholic bishop shows support for gays.
BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- Concerned about children with gay parents, a Roman Catholic bishop said Thursday that he and other church leaders from Massachusetts would support extending some benefits to same-sex couples -- though they are strongly opposed to gay marriage.
Worcester Bishop Daniel P. Reilly told a state legislative committee that the issue of benefits should be dealt with separately from same-sex unions.
Massachusetts lawmakers are considering a bill that would legalize gay marriage. Reilly spoke at a hearing on behalf of the leaders of the four Massachusetts dioceses, including Archbishop Sean O'Malley of Boston.
"If the goal is to look at individual benefits and determine who should be eligible beyond spouses, then we will join the discussion," Reilly told the Judiciary Committee.
The Rev. Christopher Coyne, spokesman for O'Malley, said the church is specifically concerned about addressing benefits that affect children in gay families, such as education and health. Extending these benefits would not in any way contradict the Catholic Church's commitment to matrimony, he said.
"I think what's actually being said is that the benefits that are necessary for the protection of children and families don't necessarily involve any kind of a redefinition of relationship or marital status," Coyne said.
I don't know how to put this mildly, so I guess I won't try.
First off, I'm so happy that you have found it in your hearts to give us some of the rights of marriage, but only where it benefits children in gay households. But you know what? You can keep your damn condescending attitude with regards to our relationships. We really don't need it.
You talk as though it is up to religious institutions to "authorize" what benefits of marriage will be given out to whom. The fact is, it's none of your damn business because this has nothing to do with religion. We are talking about CIVIL MARRIAGE. I don't care if you bless my marriage or not. I won't ask you to perform or bless it in one of your churches.
If marriage is so pure and "holy" to you, where were you when the state and federal governments got it's hand on it and started offering civil benefits to marriage? If you wanted to maintain control over it, you should have stopped that from happening.
Now, the benefits given to marriage from the state and federal government is paid for by, you guessed it, TAX DOLLARS! I pay my share of those tax dollars. I'm sick and tired of my tax dollars going towards something that is totally discriminatory against something that is a central part of my life - my marriage. My marriage is no less worthy of those benefits as that of anyone else.
So please, if you are a religious institution weighing in on whether gay couples should be allowed to marry and be given state and federal benefits of marriage, please do us all a big favor and shut the fuck up!
February 15, 2004 Judge rules no arbitration in expulsion case
Saturday, October 25, 2003 Story Update
Sunday, October 26, 2003 Jupiter Christian disputes claims in student's lawsuit
An 18-year-old student is suing a private Christian school in Florida, alleging he was expelled three days after he told a teacher he was gay.
Jeffrey Woodard said a teacher pulled him out of Bible class at Jupiter Christian School (or send email) in West Palm Beach and asked him in confidence if he was gay. Woodard said that when he answered "yes," a school official called his mother and told her that Woodard couldn't attend an upcoming school retreat unless she and her son met with the school to talk about his homosexuality.
His mother said the school told them that Woodard could get counseling for his problem, voluntarily withdraw from the school or be expelled.
A gay rights activist in Tampa conceded that the school didn't break any law by expelling Woodard, since discrimination based on sexual orientation isn't illegal in Florida.
This story reminds me of the many cases against the Boy Scouts of America. In that instance, after years of law suits, it went all the way up to the Supreme Court. They decided that since the Boy Scouts of America are a private organization, they have the right to discriminate against anyone they choose.
I suppose I can see the logic of that, although it's not easy to say that if you are on the receiving end of the discrimination.
This student was basically "outed" by a teacher who asked him if he was gay (in confidence). He told the truth and said he was. Since the student would not consider counseling for "his problem", he was expelled.
There are a lot of ethical issues involved here. If you ask someone for information in confidence, you keep your mouth shut. Gaining someone's trust by telling them that it will be kept secret, and then turning around and making it public is, at the very least, despicable. Beyond that, and the bad press this school will hopefully receive, there's probably not much the student will be able to do from a legal point of view.
I'm no lawyer, but I will bet that the Boy Scout ruling will at some point come into play with this case.
And, what lessons did this teach the student who was expelled for being honest? If you go to their website, you will see the following message displayed on the front page:
October 22, 2003
Dear Parents, Friends, and Supporters of JCS:
As has been reported by various media, a breach of contract claim has been filed against our school by a former student and his mother. Unfortunately, due to the possibility of legal action, comments about the complaint, or any issues directly or indirectly related to it, cannot be made at this time. However, please know that we dispute many of the “facts” in the claim, as some of this information contradicts our records and timeline. We have faith that the ministry of Jupiter Christian School will be exonerated. Thank you for your prayers and support.
Sincerely,
Rich Grimm
President
I dug this little gem out of my archives. This picture received much press at the time it came out about a year ago.
The World Trade Center had been destroyed, we were going to war with Iraq, and for a bit we all felt like we had a common cause. Then, this hit the papers.
I remember thinking at the time, that it sent a good message to those who were so intolerant (Iraq) of their women and other minorities in their nation.
I remember thinking as I looked at "HIGH JACK THIS FAGS", that I was so happy that we are a tolerant nation who would never look down on people in a minority here.
I remember thinking what a great democracy this is. I was so thankful when I saw that picture that we live in a nation where we don't hate people who are different from us, unlike Iraq.
10/23/2003 - FOLLOW UP
I found a series of stories concerning the photo on the internet. I'm reposting them here.
High Jack This Fags
(10.01)
Gay Service Members Disgusted by US Military Homophobia
An image that hints at the US military's attitude towards homosexuality has sparked outrage among gay service members in the UK.The photograph, featured in London's Metro newspaper, shows an officer aboard the USS Enterprise preparing a bomb in the campaign against terrorism in Afghanistan.
"This is another chilling example of the disingenuous but brilliant tactic of the Bush Administration -- the President speaks in kind and gentle language while what is really being encouraged is divisive and ugly."
A national LGBT rights group says an analysis of the conservative groups sponsoring the so-called 'Marriage Protection Week' show they are less interested in building strong healthy marriages than they are in gay bashing. The analysis, released by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute shows the groups disproportionately focus on homosexuality compared to issues with far greater impact on marriage and family life. NGLTF also says that the resources of these organizations dwarf those of the supposedly "rich and powerful gay lobby".
"The hypocrisy of the organizations sponsoring this so-called 'Marriage Protection Week' is stunning," said Matt Foreman, executive director of the Task Force. "They feign commitment to strong marriages and families. In reality, they are fixated on attacking gay and lesbian people while largely ignoring the real problems facing married couples and American families."
Very well said. It's sad that they don't recognize the real problems facing American families today. I'm no expert, but from what I see, a few of those issues would be...
drug abuse; What effect does the use of drugs by one or more members of the family have within the immediate family itself, not to mention other members of the larger family?
intolerant attitudes; I don't know about your experience, but my family life as a child was less than optimal. My father died when I was six. That sent a clear message to me that "people you love will leave you". That's how a six year old interprets death, especially when no one explains to you what happened.
A couple of years following that, my mother married a man who was quite abusive to my brother and me. My brother left for the Navy, I think mainly to escape life at home. I was a teenager then. My mother was in her second marriage to the same man. When he came back, he was even more resentful than before. This was during the time that I was 13-17 years old.
For that entire period of time, it was one thing after the other. I could never do anything right. When he would have an outburst, it would be me who received the beatings. His percodan addiction probably had some to do with it. If I ran, it would be my mom who received the beatings. So, I stayed and took it from him. I would show up at school with a black eye, a split lip, or some other bruise. In gym class, everyone could see the bruises. The coach laughed and asked who I kept getting in a fight with. From there, my life got worse. The other kids started thinking that I was an easy target because apparently, I wouldn't fight back. The teasing started.
school bullying; This is a huge problem with gay kids today, but you won't hear that from all the "Christian" groups talking about how compassionate they are. Many kids, gay and straight are bullied in school and this has a direct negative impact on the family. So, where are the Christian groups in all of this? They are nowhere to be found.
everything else matters but family; Everyone is busy today. There are so many preasures in life that it's easy to take your family for granted. I don't take family for granted because it was never really there for me. So now that I'm middle-aged, I work very hard at keeping my family together. Granted, that's really Kent and myself these days, but not because of my choosing.
People need to take the time to spend time with their families and to take a genuine interest in what everyone in the family is doing. I see so many of my co-workers talking like it's such a pain in the ass to have to go to their son's soccer tournament, or some other function. What they don't see is just how much that would mean to their son and how much closer that would bring them all together. It seems obvious to me, but you would be surprised at how most people just don't see it.
teen suicide; This is a huge problem today but you only hear pockets of concerned citizens worrying about it. Occassionally, when some depressed teen shoots up a school, it makes headline news. Other than that, it's out of site, out of mind on this subject.
As far as gay teens are concerned, studies on youth suicide consistently find that lesbian and gay youth are 2 - 6 times more likely to attempt suicide than other youth and may account for 30% of all completed suicides among teens (source: Report of the Secretary's Task Force on Youth Suicide, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1989).
Does anyone care? Do the Christian groups who are so concerned about gay marriage give a damn about these kids? If they do, they have a very poor media campaign about it because I don't recall hearing about their concern even once?
All of this erodes families. Perhaps the most damaging issue in all of this is the lack of any recognition of gay families by most religious institutions or our government. In their efforts to stop gay people from being able to get married, they add to the difficulty of being able to maintain our families. Do they not realize that many of these gay families have children as part of that family?
President Bush is an absolute moron! He has done nothing to strengthen familes. His interest and ambition is to get elected again. To do that, he would have sex with farm animals if the Christian right told him too. HE HAS NO INTEGRITY.
As for the conservative Christians... they have become a group of people with one thing in mind; stop the homosexuals from getting married. And, while you are at it, throw in a few other pieces of legislation (to be determined) to keep gays in their place as second-class citizens. The possibility that we will look as normal as anyone else scares the hell out of them. The only tool they have left is to try to marginalize our segment of the population as much as possible. Right now, they are using marriage to accomplish that. Tomorrow, who knows?
They love to quote the Bible, but to them, the Bible has become a menu on what kind of hatred and intolerance they wish to dish up. I've read the Bible, cover to cover. It condemns many groups of people, depending on what book you are reading from, at various times in history. There are few references to homosexuality, but a whole slew of other things that get condemned in the Bible. They never preach about such "sins" such as:
For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him. Lev. 20:9
And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Lev. 20:10
And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the LORD, shall be put to death. Lev. 24:16
And he that killeth any man shall surely be put to death. Lev. 24:17
Breach for breach, eye for eye, tooth for tooth: as he hath caused a blemish in a man, so shall it be done to him again. Lev. 24:20
A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife. Lev. 24:14
You get the picture I think. I bet you didn't know that if you wear make up, you are considered a "harlot" in the Bible. So, all you women who wear make up, well, I won't say it.
My point is, you will never hear them mention these other sins. Why? Because 98% of Americans are guilty of these sins every single day. It would not help their cause to mention this. If they are true to their cause, they would have to mention this. That is why their "ministry" has become one of simple gay bashing.
Just in ending, this is what Jesus said about homosexuality and homosexual relationships, " ". Of all the rhetoric from the Christian Right against homosexuality, the message of love that Jesus spoke of time after time, has been lost in all the noise.
From all the backstepping from our President, I'm also left wondering if there is any such thing as a "compassionate conservative".
This seems a bit strange to me. Last year, two men were charged with beating a gay man in Shelton, Connecticut while at a neighborhood picnic. The two pleaded no contest to assault charges stemming from the attack. Both also received probation with special conditions, including diversity training and community service.
Now, that seems like a slap on the wrist to me, given that the victim of this attack suffered two concussions, a torn spleen, a damaged liver, three broken ribs, vision damage and memory loss.
(Milford-AP, Oct. 22, 2003 8:04 AM) Two men charged with beating a gay man at a neighborhood picnic in Shelton last year have accepted a plea deal that will mean no prison time.
42-year-old George Hamilton of Shelton and 25-year-old Bryan Wendland Stratford have been given suspended six-year prison terms.
The two pleaded no contest to assault charges stemming from the attack. Both also received probation with special conditions, including diversity training and community service.
Charges of first-degree intimidation based on bigotry or bias were dropped as part of the agreement.
The beating occurred during a Labor Day picnic at Hamilton's home.
According to a lawsuit filed by the victim, Hamilton called the man a "faggot" and demanded he leave the picnic.
According to the victim, Hamilton then began kicking and punching him, then Wendland joined the attack.
The victim suffered two concussions, a torn spleen, a damaged liver, three broken ribs, vision damage and memory loss.
This was from the story that was reported last year after the incident happened:
In a bizarre turn, police on Friday arrested the homeowner who hosted a Labor Day picnic where a 42-year-old gay man was beaten in a vicious bias attack.
Remember Roy Horn? He was the animal trainer who was mauled by a tiger some weeks ago. To relieve pressure on his brain due to swelling, doctors removed a part of Horn's skull. The skull fragment was then implanted in a pouch in Horn's abdomen. Still with me?
This was done with the intention of returning the fragment to Horn's skull "when the moment was right". Until the skull fragment is replaced, Horn will wear a protective helmet.
Here's the full story, and I do wish he'd do something about that hair! Too much peroxide is never a good thing!
"There’s a simple way to solve the crime problem: Obey the law; punish those who do not."
"The thing that we cannot do in the drug fight right now is regulate because it’s illegal. Drugs are against the law…and they’re working to poison the brains and minds of the future of America. And so what we do is to try to keep those drugs from getting in. And I agree with you that it’s a half-baked effort."
"Kurt Cobain died of a drug-induced suicide, I just—he was a worthless shred of human debris."
"Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the media."
"I love the women’s movement—especially when walking behind it."
"When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it’s an invitation."
"One of the things I want to do before I die is conduct the Homeless Olympics...[Events would include] the 10-meter Shopping Cart Relay, the Dumpster Dig, and the Hop, Skip and Trip."
On NAFTA: "If we are going to start rewarding no skills and stupid
people--I'm serious, let the unskilled jobs, let the kinds of jobs
that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do--let stupid and
unskilled Mexicans do that work." (Radio show quoted in FRQ, Fall/93)
Speculating on why a Mexican national won the New York marathon: "An
immigration agent chased him for the last 10 miles." (USA Weekend, 1/26/92)
"Militant feminists are pro-choice because it's their ultimate avenue of power over men.... It is their attempt to impose their will on the rest of society, particularly on men." (Ought to Be, p.53)
"Why is it that whenever a corporation fires workers it is never speculated that the workers might have deserved it?" (Ought to Be, p.275)
Today kind of sucks in a way. You ever have those rare days that you just want to stay in bed and sleep? Ok... maybe they aren't so rare, but it's one of those days where everything seems to just not go so well.
I finally dragged myself out of bed and to the shower (thank God for showers!). I had planned to go in to get my blood tests done again. I had a physical about three weeks ago and the cholesterol levels were way up, but they didn't tell me I had to fast the night before. So, I didn't. In fact, before I went to get the test, I had a big breakfast.
So now, I have to get the blood re-drawn and tested. I got half way to work when I realized that I left the lab forms at home on my kitchen counter. So I had to go back and get them. Of course, Maxwell was extremely excited to see me again, even though I gave him a hug and kiss like ten minutes before.
I put off going for as long as possible after fasting for 16 hours. They didn't really say how long to fast so I wanted to make sure that it was long enough. I show up and get ready to give the blood, and they can't find a vein anywhere. They ended up taking it from a vein in my hand, and yes, it did hurt like hell. I suppose I'll end up paying double now for the tests. Oh well.
I read this somewhere and it stuck with me:
No one wants to be just tolerated. You tolerate a cold.
I'm always willing to give others credit when I see something on their site. I liked this quote. It's so relevant to much of what we are all going through today. I got this from shadowfoot.com.
It must be borne in mind that;
The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.It is not a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream.
It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideal, but it is a disaster to have no ideal to capture.
It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for.
Not failure, but low aim is a sin.
-- Benjamin E. Mayes
Here's a little something to get you all into the Halloween spirit. I saw this on Stupid Evil Bastard.com, and it really hit my funny bone.
Well, it's no surprise to me of course. I've always been gay, and I've known that since I was six years old. I didn't know what "gay" was then, but I knew that I was different from most other boys.
It's always surprised me that there's been all this speculation from people on what makes a person gay vs. straight. There have been many scientific studies performed (some not so nice to the subjects) to determine if it was a learned trait. More recently, there have been experiments and research performed to find the "gay gene".
I don't know if there is a "gay gene", but the thought that people are so bothered by someone being gay that they would actually look for the cause of them being gay, is scary. What do they hope to do with this information? I have one thought. If they can determine that a child has a good chance of being gay prior to birth through gene testing, it might be used as an excuse to abort that life. Pretty scary stuff.
The funny thing is that I could have saved them all a lot of work if they had just asked me if I was born gay. I would have said, "of course". I don't recall any time in my life making a decision on what sex to love. Do you? It was always a clear decision for me. I suppose it makes too much sense to ask a gay person those questions though.
Most people don't want to hear that. If a gay person says they are born gay, it will look as though they are trying to further the "gay agenda", whatever that is. If it is shown that being gay is genetically determined, it makes it a bit harder for a civilized society to justify the poor treatment homosexuals receive.
This is from a Reuters story I picked up off the internet:
Sexual identity is wired into the genes, which discounts the concept that homosexuality and transgender sexuality are a choice.
“Our findings may help answer an important question - why do we feel male or female?" Dr Eric Vilain, a genetics professor at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine, said in a statement on Monday.
"Sexual identity is rooted in every person's biology before birth and springs from a variation in our individual genome," Vilain said.
His team has identified 54 genes in mice that may explain why male and female brains look and function differently.
Specific role
The scientists plan to conduct further studies to determine the specific role for each of the 54 genes they identified.
"Our findings may explain why we feel male or female, regardless of our actual anatomy," said Vilain. "These discoveries lend credence to the idea that being transgender - feeling that one has been born into the body of the wrong sex - is a state of mind.
Since the 1970s, scientists have believed that estrogen and testosterone were wholly responsible for sexually organising the brain. Recent evidence, however, indicates that hormones cannot explain everything about the sexual differences between male and female brains.
Published in the latest edition of the journal Molecular Brain Research, the UCLA discovery may also offer physicians an improved tool for gender assignment of babies born with ambiguous genitalia.
Mild cases of malformed genitalia occur in 1% of all births - about three million cases. More severe cases - where doctors cannot inform parents whether they had a boy or girl - occur in one in 3000 births.
"If physicians could predict the gender of newborns with ambiguous genitalia at birth, we would make less mistakes in gender assignment," Vilain said.
Using two genetic testing methods, the researchers compared the production of genes in male and female brains in embryonic mice - long before the animals developed sex organs.
They found 54 genes produced in different amounts in male and female mouse brains, prior to hormonal influence. Eighteen of the genes were produced at higher levels in the male brains; 36 were produced at higher levels in the female brains.
"We discovered that the male and female brains differed in many measurable ways, including anatomy and function," Vilain said.
Hummmm..... go to the gym to work off all the bad stuff I ate this weekend.... or not? That is the question!
Well, I was playing around with my camera and wanted to do some gray scale work. I would have used my cats, but they are both jet black, so it didn't work so well. This is a rare photo of myself entitled "Gym Contemplation" (contemplation - not "constipation"!).
The gym won out. I have to go get my workout.
This is somewhat cool. It seems that some clergy are now refusing to perform heterosexual marriage until marriage becomes available to same-sex couples.
You have to admit, it would take courage to make a statement like that. Maybe more will take the lead. Of course, it's mainly happening with the Unitarians, who are more liberal than most anyone else. The Presbyterians have pockets of progressive thought, although our local Presbyterian Church in Coventry told us that we weren't welcome in their church. Their loss I say.
About a dozen clergy members from Connecticut and Massachusetts announced Friday they will refuse to sign marriage licenses for heterosexual couples until unions between same-sex couples are legally recognized.
Rev. Kathleen McTigue, senior minister at the Unitarian Society of New Haven, located in Hamden, helped to organize the effort. McTigue, who performs marriage ceremonies for both straight and gay couples, said it has long troubled her that she can sign a marriage license for one couple but not for the other.
"I feel like in the 17 years of my ministry, when I have officiated for marriages, I'm participating in a bias, an inequity that is built into the legal system," McTigue said. "The only way I know to stop participating in the bias to stop participating in the legal dimension of it."
The clergy members involved in this protest include Unitarian Universalists, a Presbyterian minister, a Jewish rabbi, and ministers from the United Church of Christ. A vespers service was to be held Friday in Hamden to announce the group's decision to refuse to sign marriage licenses. - Associated Press
We aren't a big town, but we are very proud that we may have a new fire truck soon! I hope it's a big red one!! Don't get us wrong... it's not like we don't have one. It's just that it's top speed is 5mph. We are only a villiage of 10,000 people so what did you expect? This story from the Hartford Courant.
Faced with a firetruck that can't go more than 5 mph, the North Coventry Fire Department wants to buy a replacement.
After hearing an appeal by the department earlier this week, the town council has decided to put the $275,000 proposal to a referendum vote, likely by the end of the year.
The department wants to replace its deteriorating, rusty pumper. The transmission on the 20-year-old firetruck doesn't work, welds are cracked and it doesn't meet current standards, Town Manager John Elsesser said.
The town has explored the possibility of trying to rebuild the aging truck, but it could cost as much as $150,000 to get it back up to speed, he said.
"You could put $150,000 into it to try to make it work, but at the end of that you still have a 20-year-old firetruck," Elsesser said.
The truck is lighter weight than traditional firetrucks and has four-wheel-drive, which makes it easier to maneuver on hilly and swampy terrain as it makes its way to a pond for water during a fire.
Bigger pumper trucks are heavier, particularly when weighed down with water. The department has had trouble with them sinking into the muddy earth and having to be towed out, sometimes damaging the truck.
It is also about $75,000 less than the cost of larger firetrucks, he said.
The proposal would go to a town meeting and then on to a referendum. The council has not yet set a firm date for the vote.
Appearing in dress uniform before a religious group in Oregon in June, Lt. Gen. William G. Boykin said Islamic extremists hate the United States "because we're a Christian nation, because our foundation and our roots are Judeo-Christians. ... And the enemy is a guy named Satan."....
Discussing a U.S. Army battle against a Muslim warlord in Somalia in 1993, Boykin told one audience, "I knew my god was bigger than his. I knew that my god was a real god and his was an idol."
Who says size doesn't matter?
I swear that Microsoft issues a new "patch" every time a new flavor of coffee comes out. Microsoft recently announced that it will start issuing it's security patches once a month to "make things more predictable and manageable for customers" (story).
The company says it fixes five vulnerabilities it deems "critical." Three of these flaws could be used against any recent release of Windows, while the other two apply to Windows 2000, used mostly by corporate customers, and versions of Microsoft's Exchange Server products. The flaws could be used by malicious coders to create new worms or "Trojan horse" attacks, but Microsoft said it doesn't believe any hackers have taken advantage of the security flaws . . . yet.
Dan Ingevaldson, engineering manager at Internet Security Systems Inc., an Atlanta software firm, recommended that Windows XP users download and install the 2.7-megabyte patch (windowsupdate.microsoft.com) immediately. "This affects a lot of home users," he said.
So, I will be heeding their warning and checking my system out right after I post this entry. The bigger question in all of this is this: Why do Microsoft products have the need to be patched all the time? UNIX, Linux, and other operating systems don't seem to be plagued with this problem nearly to the extent of Windows-based products. I've heard Windows compared to "swiss cheese" when it comes to security vulnerabilities. Perhaps the initial model that the operating system is based was flawed?
Then of course, there's the satisfaction I suppose that a hacker would get knowing that he brought Microsoft down a notch or two off that pedestal that they so enjoy. That's been happening a lot lately. If history has taught us anything in the technology arena, it's that everything can change very quickly. Just ask IBM. They were once thought to be invincible as well.
In regards to Microsoft, the market is just waiting for a less expensive (wouldn't be difficult) product that is more stable (wouldn't be difficult), that has a workable office suite of products for business (on the way), that wouldn't be such a target to hackers and those pissed off over Microsoft's arrogance (wouldn't be difficult).
Nothing annoys be more than to be working along (as a home user on Microsoft XP), receiving a "critical update alert" on my screen that reads something along the lines of "get out of what you are doing... save everything.... and do this update NOW!!! or you will be at the mercy of God knows what!" Then, to rub the salt into the wound even more, I have to restart my system (pain in the ass) two or three times if there are multiple updates to be made. The problem is, it happens a lot, which makes me wonder... am I going to be working along and one day the whole thing just crashes? Of course, this happens all the time to users. They crash and ultimately, they end up reloading their swiss cheese operating system Microsoft XP operating system again.
Me... I've been lucky. Still, I'm fanatical about making backup of everything important. I've been in IT-related work for the last 18 years and the golden rule I have always lived by is this: How upset would you be if you lost that data? That should clarify if you should back it up or take a risk.
If you are like me, everything is important!
By the way, you can check to see if you need any updates by going to http://v4.windowsupdate.microsoft.com/en/default.asp.
I've been talking a lot lately about marriage, and what it would mean to gay couples. There are so many ways I think it would help so many of us. If gay couple were able to get married, I'm sure what happened to this lesbian couple would never have happened (full story).
Eva Kadrey and Camille Caracappa had been a couple for five years before they decided to have a family together.
With the help of an anonymous sperm donor, Ms. Kadrey became pregnant. In March 1998, with Ms. Caracappa and her mother in the delivery room, Ms. Kadrey gave birth to a boy. The couple named him Nicolaj, after Ms. Kadrey's father.
For two years, the two women and their son were part of Ms. Caracappa's large and boisterous extended family in the Jersey Shore area, spending birthdays and holidays together. Then, in October 2000, Ms. Caracappa, an oncology nurse, died of a brain aneurysm at age 38.
The following month, with the support and urging of Ms. Caracappa's mother, Ms. Kadrey — who had been a stay-at-home mother to her son — applied for Social Security survivor benefits for Nicolaj. But the Social Security Administration denied the request, saying that the child did not meet the agency's test as Ms. Caracappa's legal survivor. The two women were not legally married, as New Jersey law does not allow same-sex marriages, and Ms. Caracappa was not Nicolaj's biological mother. ...
Ms. Caracappa's mother, Theresa Caracappa, 68, is even more determined than Ms. Kadrey to fight the matter. "It doesn't matter if you're two women," she said. "It never mattered to us. When we knew that Camille was gay, it was fine. She's my child. I loved her."
She added, "I just want Nicolaj to get what is rightfully his."
What is terribly sad is that with everything else this family has had to go through with the death of Camille Caracappa, our government has, in it's own special way, said that this family is nothing; that they are not entitled to even be considered as a family in terms of Social Security.
Of course, this is not news to us. Every pay check we receive, money is being taken out and put into a system that turns right around and denies our families the benefits that come from our contributions, in a time of need. It will hit all of us in time. Without marriage, Kent will never be able to collect Social Security should I die first. Of course, Social Security is but a small part of the picture here.
I want to make sure that the people who have meant so much to me in life are cared for after I leave, to the extent that I can make that happen. It's time for America to understand that we are made up of families, and deserve these rights.
It scares the hell out of me knowing that should I be driving to work and be involved in a car accident that would place me in a coma or make it so I was not able to make my own decisions, that Kent would not be able to make those decisions for me.
If the doctor at the hospital felt like putting his neck on the line and understood gay families, he might let Kent in to visit me, but there are no guarantees. And in the arena of making life decisions on my behalf, no hospital would put themselves at risk for a lawsuit but giving Kent that authority, because at the present time, he doesn't have that authority given by law (that marriage allows automatically). So, where would that leave me?
Well, it doesn't leave me exactly where I'd like to be. Kent is my husband, my life partner, my soul mate. He is the one who should make those decisions for me, not a relative or some social worker from the State of Connecticut.
This is reality, that many of us don't want to face. And it's sad that society can't even bring itself to recognize that there are a lot of people hurting out there, needlessly. More of us are adopting children or giving birth to our own children. We provide for them and create a loving home.
I wanted children so bad. I love kids and people have told me that I would have made a great father. It was always a dream of mine. I see other parents with kids and they treat their kids like they are a burden. It makes me angry because they are gifts, and they end up getting treated like baggage. Kent didn't want children. I think mostly because of the risks involved with gay partners having children, as I've stated above.
It's true. There are more risks with gay partners having children. You won't have the support network that is there for heterosexual married couples. After awhile, I gave up my dream of having kids. Everything happens for a reason, and for some reason, I guess it just wasn't in the cards for me to have children. I'm sure I will regret that for as long as I live. Maybe for the next generation, it will be different. Let's hope.
This from a student at St. Olaf College, on "Marriage Protection Week":
Recently President Bush signed a proclamation declaring Oct. 12-18 “Marriage Protection Week.” One of the main goals of this initiative, which is being sponsored by a coalition of conservative and religious organizations, is to marshal support for the Federal Marriage Amendment, a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex civil marriages.
I have a better idea. Why don’t we all grow up and stop bashing gay people?
How about instead of promoting the codification of a blatant form of discrimination against millions of American citizens, why not take a moment to reaffirm our national traditions of equality, liberty and justice for all? I would like to suggest that Oct. 12-18 retroactively be declared “Equal Rights Protection Week.”
Let’s call a spade a spade and acknowledge that “Marriage Protection Week” is really just a window dressing for “Anti-Homosexual Week.” If the initiative’s sponsoring organizations were actually serious about protecting marriage, you’d think they would be less concerned about the three percent of Americans that are gay and instead focus on the 50 percent of heterosexuals whose marriages end in divorce....
A week or so ago I read about a small Baptist Church who was expelled for accepting two gay members and later baptizing them. This is why I have little use of "the church" in my life today. I figure I have pleanty of negative forces in my life that in one way or another put me down for being gay, without going elsewhere to get it.
This was a letter to the editor of a paper that I thought was well written and reflects my views well:
Dear Editor:
After reading an article on page A4 of Friday's paper, I am very confused and more than a bit concerned. The article states that the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina expelled a small church for accepting two gay members and later baptizing them. In essence, the church's representatives invalidated a baptismal. I have two comments on this action.
My first comment is a personal opinion. I do not think that any human - priest, preacher, minister, brother, or whatever - has the right to say an individual cannot accept Jesus Christ as their Savior because they consider that person's lifestyle a sin. Seeking salvation, in my opinion, is a God-given right and no man should have the right or power to stand in judgment of another and state that they are not worthy of seeking the Lord. When an individual, or a group of people, take the power upon themselves to proclaim that someone is unfit or unworthy to seek salvation, I think that individual or group is verging on the edge of blasphemy. When a group of people have the power to decide whether an individual's quest for salvation is valid or not, then that group ceases to be a church and becomes a club.
My second comment is an observation. The article stated that they expelled the church because accepting the gay individuals would show that they approved of homosexuality, and they stated that their decision was based on "traditional interpretation of Scripture." Now I am no verse-quoter and feel free to correct me if am wrong: Does it not say in the Bible that a man or a woman is free to marry again if their spouse has died? And does the Bible not say that if a man or woman divorces and remarries, then they are committing adultery and living in sin? I would think that a second, third or fourth marriage under these circumstances would be considered a "lifestyle." Yet the church seems to embrace those who have committed "adultery" while expelling those it considers an "abomination." Of course, I understand that the divorced group is much larger and their tithes keep the churches afloat. It appears to me that if we adhered to all these rules, our church groups would become smaller and smaller.
Rules and regulations, and equality and fairness, must be a selective process. I guess, the confusing times in which we live, what is good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander.
I saw this on an advice column called "Tell Me About It" with Carolyn Hax. It was good advice that I hope this mother takes:
Washington, D.C.: Yesterday I found my 17-year-old son's weblog. It was under an alias, but I know his screen name. I was shocked to see explicit sexual language. I was also shocked to find out he is gay. Of course I can't talk to him about what I found, but I can't look at him the same way any more. (yesterday he asked me why I was looking at him that way) The language means he's not my innocent boy any more. And I'm mad that he didn't tell me, but seems to be out to all his friends. What next?
Carolyn Hax: This is going to sound insensitive because it's typed instead of spoken, but if you were really expecting an innocent boy, 17 is a little old. Regardless of what he's actually done, the language has been around for years. I know, he's your kid, hard to think of him that way, but mommy-curdling words have likely been flying around since he was 12, 13, 14. Maybe before that, even.
That warm reassurance aside (ahem), what matters here is that you now know he is gay. What next is: Love. Love him just as he is. Love him, love him. And, look at him. He's still your son, and still everything else you've always known, always felt and always thought about him.
He doesn't have to know you know (though if his blog is public, I can't see why your finding it has to stay secret). What he does need is a mother who accepts him fully as-is. Instead of being mad, just make sure you're the mom he can trust enough to tell. If you are, he will.
I read this letter from Ben Krommor in response to a letter entitled, "Marriage should remain a union between heterosexuals". This was part of his response:
Now that “compassionate conservatism” has had its chance to weigh in on the question of equal rights for all, a rebuff is due (“Marriage should remain a union between heterosexuals,” CT, Oct. 15). Let me get this straight; you’re saying because you don’t find the concept of marrying another man satisfying, no one else should be permitted to do so? I may be heterosexual myself, but it doesn’t prevent me from seeing how indefensible this position is.
The first argument thrown down is always that the gay community is blowing things out of proportion. Essentially, people who argue this point are saying it’s the gays’ fault they are being excluded from common society, and that they have no reason to feel wronged by this. ...
The final point raised by the Religious Right is people of the same sex should not be allowed to reap marriage’s many legal and financial benefits because it somehow “cheapens” heterosexual marriage. As much as it is genuinely fun to keep those we perceive as different out of the proverbial treehouse, it is still quite simply immature.
Some of the more reasonable of them have proposed a compromise: the creation of “civil unions,” half-marriages in which the participants are awarded all of the legal benefits of a real marriage, just without the title.
The truly ironic thing is this concession completely destroys all of their earlier arguments about broken homes, the “order of nature,” and the marrying of inanimate objects because a “civil union” is functionally identical to marriage.
Essentially, their twisted concept of marriage has retreated back to nothing more than a word.
This story only goes to show how messed up the Catholic Church is over gay issues. It's hard to find as much hypocrisy in any church. This was about a gay couple, Michael Sabatino Jr. and Robert Voorheis, who went to Canada to get married on September 28.
After the New York Times published an announcement of their ceremony on Oct. 5, the two were confronted by Monsignor Edmund Whalen as they entered St. Benedict's Church in Throgs Neck on Sunday.
"He told us he couldn't have us in a public ministry after going public in the newspapers," Sabatino said. "He said, 'I have parishioners who are complaining. They're asking me what I'm going to do about this.' "
When Sabatino and Voorheis asked Whalen for his decision in writing and continued into the church, followed by Sabatino's mother, Whalen told them he would "shut down the choir" rather than allow them to sing in it, Sabatino said.
I don't like to pick on an easy target, but it seems to me that the Catholic Church really has a bigger problem with what it's priests are doing.
Instead of worrying about a couple of gay guys who sing in it's choir, the church really should be worrying about why it let hundreds of kids be molested, and did nothing about it!
I suppose I could also call this entry something like, "Those who live in glass houses"...
In a speech frequently interrupted by applause, Clinton warned gays not to discount the efforts of Senator Frist and others who are supporting the amendment. Then, in a departure from her prepared remarks, she said of those who like to use wedge issues like the marriage amendment, “They have led our country miserably! They deserve to be turned out of office and they’re going to look for anyway to stay in power!” Story.
Wasn't it her husband Bill Clinton who originally tried to change military law by allowing gays to be able to serve in the military openly without having to worry about being kicked out? When several Senators stood in the way of that happening, it was Bill Clinton who settled on the miserable "don't ask, don't tell" policy. And here we are many years later still living with it.
Hillary can stand on a podium and talk about how bad the Bush Administration is (which it is) all she wants, but there is one undeniable fact that will always be there: Bill Clinton was a wolf in sheep’s clothing to the gay community. Was he really a friend? What the hell did he do for us while he was President?
To me, everything that politicians say has the weight of a grain of sand. I do worry about the likes of Senator Frist though. He and his kind really only want one thing, for us to just go away. Short of that, he will settle on passing laws to the point that we are as invisible as possible.
Other issues... JC Penny and FedEX have added Sexual Orientation to their non-discrimination policies.
I was surprised to read this story. I'm sure a lot of Americans thought that Sydney was very friendly and open to gay tourists. That's what all the gay magazines have been pushing on us. One of the things I've wanted to do is to go to Sydney (I may re-think that now). I know that every place is probably to some degree homophobic, but gee.. why travel so far to have people be homophobic to you when you can get it from your own state? :-) Sorry, sometimes you just have to smile and go on about your business.
Story from uk.gay.com
Australian city Sydney is not as gay friendly as it is perceived, according to a new study.The report, which comes from the Australian Attorney-General's Department in connection with Urbis Keys Young, found that a large number of the city's gay community were often victims of homophobic attacks and discrimination based on their sexuality.
More than half of those surveyed reported homophobic violence in the last twelve months, with the majority of victims, 48% detailing verbal abuse.
Additionally 25% had been the victim of offensive gestures or had been spat at.
Although just 10% had seen violence, 70% of the 600 questioned said they felt vulnerable to violence.
With its images of the annual gay pride celebrations, Sydney has gained a reputation for being one of the world's premier gay destinations, with many visitors expecting to experience a welcoming atmosphere.
This was published in USA Today along with other newspapers around the country. On this fifth anniversary of Matthew's death, I thought it would be appropriate to publish it here.
By Judy Shepard
This weekend marked five years since my son Matthew's murder, which prompted unprecedented media coverage and focused the nation's attention on anti-gay hate crimes like never before.
Matthew was beaten to death by two men who are now serving life sentences. Five years ago I was a housewife and a mother. But I learned quickly that violent crimes against the gay community are actually a fairly common occurrence. It prompted my family to create a foundation in Matthew's memory.
I have spent the past five years traveling the nation, speaking at schools and churches and to anyone who would listen, to try to stem the tide of hate that is eating away at the fabric of our culture. Hate crimes against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are the most common after hate crimes involving race and religion.
Recently, I've been thinking about what really has changed — and more importantly, what has not — to make our communities safe from hatred against gays.
It's clear that in some ways our nation has become a more accepting place. We have witnessed the progress of gay and lesbian rights with the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision, Lawrence v. Texas, striking down that state's sodomy law. We have seen our neighbors to the north recognize same-sex marriages as deserving of equal rights and responsibilities as straight couples' marriages. We have seen growing visibility, understanding and acceptance of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in our families, in society and in the corporate world.
Still far to go
However, there has been scant progress in other areas, particularly in terms of legislation and securing rights for the gay community. We continue to fight for hate-crime legislation that includes protections based on sexual orientation, gender identity and disability. There is no federal law that includes job protection based on sexual orientation. Yes, you can fire someone simply for being gay or lesbian in 36 states of this nation.
It is as if we are living in two Americas — one that tunes in to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy but turns a blind eye to the injustices gay and lesbian people still face.
It is evident that with progress comes inevitable attack by those who are threatened by our work. In 2003, more than 30 cities and towns reported crimes against gays. Most of them do not garner national headlines like my son's murder did. Sakia Gunn, a 15-year-old lesbian, was fatally stabbed in Newark, N.J., on May 11 this year. F.C. Martinez, a Navajo, transgender 16-year-old, was murdered in a hate-motivated attack in 2001. The list goes on and on.
Furthermore, changes in the "environment" heighten hate-crime activity. In New York City every July, anti-gay violence usually increases by about 8% above other times of the year as people respond to the outreach programs and the visibility of gay pride celebrations. Even after the Lawrence v. Texas decision and the appearance of gay television shows, anti-gay violence in New York City rose 52%. We still have far to go.
Redouble efforts
On this fifth year since I lost my son, I plan to redouble my efforts to find solutions to this problem. One solution begins with parents. We have the opportunity to teach our children to understand and accept diversity long before hate can provoke violent reactions.
We can "arm" them with this education before their school years begin and require our educators to continue the job after that. Hate is a learned behavior, but it's never too late to empower a young adult with the tools to improve his or her life choices and beliefs.
If a child is taught to hate and fear diversity at home, then the next place he or she gets to practice hate is in the halls of education. Ten percent of hate crimes occur at schools and colleges. A gay teen is bashed; a disabled teen is tormented; a Jewish, black or Muslim teen is taunted. The cycle continues, until that hate-filled child becomes a citizen in our community, and sometimes, a perpetrator.
Teach your children to accept and understand diversity because the consequences of hate hurt the families of the victim. It also hurts the families of the perpetrators. Lives are ended and lives are changed forever.
Judy Shepard is founder and executive director of the Matthew Shepard Foundation.
I originally said that I wouldn't be blogging this week in mourning for what others were trying to make us into with this insidious "Marriage Protection Week". My day started out badly, well, ever since I made that post.
I've been moping around the house, went out to breakfast, went to see a movie, but I wasn't really there. I was down and depressed about what some assholes are trying to do with this bullshit Marriage Protection Week.
I've decided I'm going to blog this week. I'm not going to let those bastards win and get the better of me. I got sad, down, but now I'm just plain old pissed off. They can take the Marriage Protection Week and shove it where the sun don't shine. Or, perhaps more articulately, FUCK THEM AND THE HORSE THEY RODE IN ON!
ok... I feel better now! Now I'm off to pick out my pictures for my custom-made calendar that I'm giving people for Christmas, with 13 of my favorite photos I've taken. They won't be good stocking stuffers, but everything I give people is too big to fit into a stocking anyway! 
In remembrance of Matthew Shepard, and in mourning for what people are trying to make us out to be with "Marriage Protection Week", I won't be blogging this week.
Be kind to each other and tell your mate and your friends that you love them every time you see them.
