My Birthday

YAYYYYYYY!! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Let's see. It's been an odd day with out much fanfare. That's not a bad thing. It basically means that the whole day so far has been mine - just mine. So, I took advantage of it. I went to the mall for awhile and found some things for the house that I've been wanting. I bought them as a birthday present to myself. You can't beat that.

I started my day by waking up at 6:00 this morning to the sound of Kent taking a shower. I guess I could have joined him, but bed felt so good! It's really weird the things you think about when everything is so quiet, your mind is rested, and you let it explore on it's own.

I was thinking about our life in San Francisco and one particular time when Kent and I went to an outdoor market in the Noe Valley District, not far from the Castro District. This was like twenty years ago. We were looking at the goods for sale, and very much into ourselves. We were apparently holding hands without thinking about it. We passed another couple (male-female couple), and about ten feet past us, the male turned back to us and said "fucking faggots". I'm not sure exactly what kind of response he wanted to get from us, but we didn't even look back his way, not even to acknowledge him. It's hard to start a fight when nothing is fighting with you.

I know he was being an ass, as so many have to us in the past. But in my thoughts this morning, I found myself wondering if he would still have those same thoughts, given that gay people seem to be more accepted today. He would also be older, and hopefully more mature. What are his feelings today about gay people?

I remember shortly after that, we went to some gathering for AIDS awareness. At the rally, someone sang "Somewhere". The lyrics sliced through me like knives, and I began to cry.

There's a place for us,
Somewhere a place for us.
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere.

I suppose that sounds lame now, but at the time that we were at the street fair and being called "faggots", I was wondering if we would ever get to a point in time where we actually feel like we belong in this world. It's hard for most people to even understand what I'm talking about I think. To me, it's not a matter of being able to openly show that I love my mate. The issue is, will we ever live in a world where we can openly show affection without even thinking that we are showing affection? In other words, for gay people to show affection, it is often a "political statement" of some sort, and it shouldn't be. Straight people never give it a second thought because to them, it is natural. Will we really get to a time where there really is "a place for us" in this world, where we won't feel queer? I know, heavy thoughts for 6:00am.

My father-in-law is better today, and I'm thankful for that. I'm over my cold, which is good and despite the fact that I'm one year older, I'm in good spirits. I'm also glad Christmas is behind us. It was exhausting this year. Christmas dinner was probably the best we have ever prepared. Everything tasted so good.

I'll see you all in the New Year!

Cheers!