Status Quo
Detroit Lions president Matt Millen apologized Monday for calling a former Detroit player a "faggot" – twice – in an incident following the Lions game Sunday at Kansas City.
"You faggot! Yeah, you heard me. You faggot!" Millen was heard shouting at Johnnie Morton, a Kansas City wide receiver who played for the Lions for eight years until leaving following the 2001 season.
George Carlin was fond of citing the "seven words you can't say on television" as proof that there are no bad words, just bad thoughts. Repeating the seven words over and over again (as Carlin has done for years) serves to take the sting out of them, the comedian argues.
Why, then, does race remain taboo, but a slur used to describe a homosexual gets a free pass?
The answer: For the same reason that people seem to think that it's ok to deny gay citizens equal rights in every other part of their lives.
In 37 of the 50 states, it's still fully legal to fire a gay person, and they have no recourse, because it's not against the law. Even the Federal Government has not added "sexual orientation" to the other classes of protection - race, disability, etc. We can't even get married to the one we love and I probably never will be able to. I honestly don't expect to live that long.
So, I don't really understand why people are shocked that Matt Millen felt he could get away with calling someone else a "faggot". Let me tell you something. In any given month, I get called a "faggot" or "queer" at least 2-3 times. People that suddenly feel that it's taboo to call another person a "faggot" just don't have a clue.
They can get away with it because most of society thinks it's just fine the way things are.
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I made a mistake in my entry that I should clarify. I wrote, "In any given week, I get called a "faggot" or "queer" at least 2-3 times".
I meant to write, "In any given month, I get called a "faggot" or "queer" at least 2-3 times". I have corrected the entry.
It used to bother me greatly being called "faggot" or "queer" because for a large part of my life, I have tried so hard to belong to society. At some point, I think I realized that I am queer. That is to say, I'm not like other people, and that's ok, because I know the kind of person I am and I like the kind of person I am.
The thing that still bothers me is when the words are said with hatred and distain. It actually has nothing to do with being gay at that point because it's just the same to me as using a derogatory term against a black person or some other minority. The seed for the remark is hate, and I think that is what all of us should work to eradicate.
Aside from that, I worry about safety. Things can happen at any time to anyone. You can be living your life one day, and the next day you may not be here. For me, I have an added worry. Maybe the worry is just me. Some may think it's unfounded. But, I worry about being in the wrong place at the wrong time when one of these bigots gets me alone, and what will happen. I know they don't even see me as a person, but as a pervert, or, less than human. When a person reduces someone else to less than human, they feel they have a license to do anything. And of course, with greater visibility in the gay community, the chances of something happening will increase.
I use queer to describe myself. I've never had an insult from someone who knows I'm gay.
There has been two incidents that are notable. In the first I was walking down Queen Street in Auckland late one Saturday night (going from a bar to a nightclub). The street was busy, and I had my arm around the shirtless waist of the guy I was with. I heard a girl say "Ohmigod! They're gay."
The second incident happened last Christmas in Hastings. I was out late with a straight friend having just left a coffee shop. A car full of hoons slowed down and one yelled out "Ha! You take it up the pooper." I kid you not. My friend just laughed at the absurdity and their ignorance.
Of course it helps that in NZ I have the protection of the law.