Hartford Courant Article on Gay Marriage
This is the Hartford Courant article (requires registration) that appeared yesterday. It was a good article, that covered the scene in San Francisco, as well as what was happening in Connecticut. It features us going to our town clerk to ask for a marriage license (yeah, we really do look better than the pictures, but you can't pick and choose in a paper article). And, I'm sure I told her I was 27 instead of 49. Wish they could get my age right. ;-)
Vows In Uncertain Times
February 25, 2004
By DANIELA ALTIMARI, And LEE FOSTER Courant Staff Writers
Tom Hurlbut and Rick Rossi waited in line for eight hours to acquire their piece of paper.
For the Connecticut couple, the marriage certificate issued by a San Francisco city official reinforces a commitment they made 23 years ago. "Never in our lives did we think we'd be getting married," said Rossi, a 42-year-old middle school teacher. "We both got teary-eyed. It was very powerful."
But given the increasingly heated discourse over gay unions, the legal status of the couple's marriage is far from certain, despite their devotion to each other.
President Bush's call Tuesday for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage brings to the federal level a debate that has inflamed passions in statehouses across the U.S. The president urged quick action to clarify the law and protect "the meaning of marriage from being changed forever."
Earlier this month, San Francisco's mayor ordered marriage licenses issued to gays and lesbians - an act of civil disobedience that defies California law restricting marriage to heterosexuals.
All in all, "this is a time of uncertainty," said Jennifer Brown, a Quinnipiac University law professor. "There has to be a lot of public dialogue on this issue. But what the federal marriage amendment is trying to do is stop the conversation from happening."
Opponents of gay marriage were buoyed by Bush's announcement. Brian Brown, executive director of the Family Institute of Connecticut, said the federal government needs to take a strong step to prevent "activist judges and mayors" from changing the traditional definition of marriage.
"The overwhelming majority of Americans support protecting marriage ... so we're not surprised that the president supports a federal marriage amendment," Brown said.
His group plans to push for a so-called Defense of Marriage Act before the Connecticut legislature this session. Such a law, which 38 states and the federal government have passed, would expressly limit marriage to heterosexual couples.
Gay rights activists said they were disappointed by Bush's announcement, even though it leaves the door ajar for states to enact civil unions or other legal protections for same-sex couples that stop short of marriage.
But some advocates of gay marriage say the long process of amending the Constitution works in their favor. While the effort slowly proceeds, gay couples are scheduled to begin marrying in Massachusetts in mid-May.
"We're going to see couples from Connecticut go to Massachusetts to get married and people are going to realize it's a non-event," said Anne Stanback, president of Love Makes a Family, a coalition lobbying for same-sex marriage in Connecticut. "It will mean an enormous amount to same-sex couples who actually get married and almost nothing to everyone else."
It certainly means a great deal to Bill Cannon and Kent Holsinger. After 28 years of building a life together, they decided it was time to make a statement. They waited quietly at the counter in Coventry Town Hall Tuesday for Town Clerk Susan Cyr to return from lunch.
When she arrived, a nervous Cannon softly introduced Holsinger and said the words he'd been practicing: "We're here to apply for a marriage certificate."
"You understand that I can't issue a marriage license to you," Cyr said. "I apologize, but I can't issue that to you today."
Cannon and Holsinger had considered going to San Francisco or driving to Canada to take their vows. But either of those trips would be pointless if the marriage certificate was not legal in Connecticut, Cannon said.
"It's an emotional thing for me. To have a legal document that would be invalid in this country," he said, unable to finish the sentence. "It's more an issue for us emotionally than for straight couples. A lot of people take marriage for granted."
Hurlbut and Rossi say they don't. After 23 years, they view themselves as committed as any married couple. In 2001, the Ashford pair traveled to Vermont to obtain a civil union.
But civil unions aren't marriage, said Hurlbut, who makes his living as a wedding photographer. And even though their San Francisco marriage license carries dubious legal weight in Connecticut, the couple cherish it nonetheless.
They happened to be visiting friends and family in San Francisco last week when the city began issuing marriage licenses to gay couples. So, dressed in flannel shirts and jeans and carrying a bouquet of stargazer lilies, they went to city hall at 7 on a pleasant Sunday morning, brimming with anticipation.
They stood in line for hours with hundreds of others. Then, at 3 p.m., they walked into the grand old municipal building, exchanged rings and recited their wedding vows. "We've been together so long," Hurlbut said, "that getting married was a no-brainer."
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