March 2004 Archives

Today was a tough day. You ever have those days where you wonder where you are going? It's like you can't put two thoughts together. Actually, I couldn't put two thoughts together. I got half way to work and realized that I forgot my cell phone. Then I said to myself, "heck, I don't care". My whole day was like that. It seemed like I was in a dream, in a way.

Everything is so serious in life it seems now. I was thinking about when I was a child, how simple life was then. Now, everyone is in a class it seems. I suppose many years from now we can look back on everythings that's happening to our community and say, "we were a part of that... we were a part of history". And I suppose in a way that will seem very cool. But in the here and now, it's not pleasant.

I tell myself that everyone has problems and challenges, and that's true. We all do, no matter what "class" society sees fit to put us in. But life can be more difficult if you are on an uneven playing field. And that's how I feel.

Everytime Kent goes on a trip, I worry. We are taking a long trip to Idaho in August, and I'm worried about that. What if something happens to one of us? What if something were to happen to Kent on one of his trips? What will happen to the world that we have created together? Will the survivor have anything left, other than memories? Why should I have to worry about any of this?

I know many married straight couples who have children, as most of you do. It is a great challenge to raise a family. But, I also know that, come what may, those families have a lot of support that comes from marriage. I know a lot of couples, such as Kent and me, who are unable to get married. Some day, I hope that society will be able to see the love that these couples have and that, in the eyes of that love, we are all truly equal.

These are the thoughts that I've had today in light of what has happened in Massachusetts. I'm saddened when I hear the legislators who chose to ban gay marriage and allow civil unions, sit there and say, "we were being very careful not to discriminate against gay couples", knowing full well that there is no support at the federal level for civil unions. I guess that's not their problem. I'm reminded of a scene in the movie Pretty Woman, when Richard Gere turned to Julia Roberts, who plays a prostitute, and says to her, "I've never treated you like a prostitute." He then leaves. She looks forward and says, "You just did."

I've made some home made bread. You ever notice how good it smells when it's almost ready? That's how simple life should be.

Good night.

DAYTON, Ohio -- Dayton police arrested a man Tuesday wanted in connection with a shooting earlier this month at the Marathon gas station on North Main Street.

Police said Chaunsay Tinsley, Jr., 21, fired dozens of shots at three people in a car outside the gas station. Two of the victims said Tinsley thought they were homosexual and threatened to assault them.

Investigators said no one was seriously injured. They are investigating the shooting as an anti-gay crime. Tinsley will appear in court on Wednesday to face charges.

Not that there's anyway you would ever know for sure, but I wonder if this person was targeting homosexuals because of all the press coverage over the Ohio legislature passing a constitutional amendment against gay marriage and civil unions?

I suppose it doesn't matter. No one was seriously hurt, and it does sound as if he is being vigorously prosecuted.

Massachusetts bans gay marriage

The Massachusetts Legislature adopted a new version of a state constitutional amendment Monday that would ban gay marriage and legalize civil unions, eliminating consideration of any other proposed changes.

The vote came at the opening of the third round of a constitutional convention on the contentious issue, as competing cries of "Jesus Christ" and "Equal Rights" shook the Statehouse outside the legislative chamber.

Lawmakers had voted earlier this month in favor of a similar amendment. The revised version adopted Monday would ask voters to simultaneously ban gay marriage and legalize civil unions - rather than taking those steps separately. It clarifies that civil unions would not grant federal benefits to gay couples.

And this is what they call "separate but equal"? I was kind of thinking that federal benefits would have been nice. Thank you Massachusetts... FOR NOTHING.

Under a state high court ruling issued in November, the nation's first state-sanctioned gay marriage will take place in Massachusetts on May 17. The constitutional amendment would have no effect on this deadline, but Gov. Mitt Romney has said he might seek a way to delay the marriages if a constitutional amendment were adopted this year.

I guess they just can't stand to give us anything. I don't understand it. I wish the legislature could explain it to me like I'm a six year old why my marriage is second class and not worthy of full legal protection of civil marriage. Who are we hurting by wanting to be equal? What is gained by making us second class? Anyone?

Some day, we will have full marriage rights and when that day happens, the degree of bigotry displayed today in Massachusetts will be left out in the open for all to see! I write it here as a record.

HOW THEY VOTED

God.... why did I have the shrimp cocktail last night for dinner? I felt like hell all night long, couldn't sleep, had chills, and this morning felt like I had been hit by a truck. Yuck.

Speaking of hell....

"God loves everyone except queers. If you are gay, you go to hell." - Jimmy Creech, a former minister of the Methodist Church who lost his credentials of ordination for celebrating the union of two men in April 1999.

Apparently, there was a panel discussion on the subject of sexuality and spirituality at North Carolina State University. I'll try not to show my baggage on the subject of the church and their lack of acceptance of gays.

"I agree that the subject matter is taboo, but if it is brought to the surface it can be accepted," Carrie Withrow, a freshman in business management, said.

As opera diva Maria Callas once said, "...but who the hell cares?" Ok, admittedly, my baggage is showing, but honestly, I really couldn't care less if the church ever accepts my sexuality. It does annoy the hell out of me though that the Catholic Church is now blaming all the "gay priests" on all the molestation in their church. I guess they need a scapegoat. If they really cared about the children whose lives they ruined, they would accept responsibility. THEY are the ones who let this happen. They need to pull their collective heads out of their ass and realize that pedophilia is not a crime of sexual preference, it is a crime of opportunity. Geez, it's so simple!

Speaking of opera, Kent and I went to see Lucia di Lammermoor with Eteri Lamoris (picture left) in the title role. She was unbelievable actually. Great talent and remarkable virtuosity.

The story in a nut shell: She's in love with her brother's sworn enemy, Edgardo. But their letters are being intercepted, so she thinks he doesn't love her. Her brother persuades her to marry someone whose money can revive the family fortunes. And then in comes Edgardo on her wedding night, thinking she's been cheating on him. No wonder Lucia goes mad.

In my current state, I can empathize with how Lucia must have felt.

Have you ever notice how up-tight people are these days? I've been trying to figure out and pin point when all of that happened. It seems to me that ever since 9/11, things have been a bit different in this country. Not only are we now more "vigilant", it seems that we have less time for each other; less time for understanding and less time to be compassionate to our fellow man.

That's why, when I come home at night, it's pure "family time". I do what I like to do for hobbies, such as photography and the like, but my main focus is my family and my friends. Work has it's place, and it is a rare occasion that work enters my home. That's me. I'm still working on Kent about that. He constantly brings work home because, well, he let's people walk on him (in my opinion).

I read a story about a gay teacher in California who went to San Francisco to marry his partner. The teacher, Ron Fanelle, teaches seventh and eighth graders.

Fanelle married his partner of 15 years, Randy Serak, on Valentine’s Day. His Monte Vista Middle School colleagues, including principal Sara Davis, knew he was gay and had gotten married and they congratulated him at a staff meeting.

A teacher told her students about the marriage and word spread quickly through the school.

The mistake was for the teacher to tell her students in the first place. Why would she do that? Perhaps she felt that in this day and age, people would understand. That was naive on her part. At any rate, rumors quickly spread throughout the school that Mr. Fanelle had gotten married. Of course, kids being the curious creatures that they are, asked Mr. Fanelle point blank about it.

"The kids walked in and there was a buzz about it," Fanelle said. "They said, 'We heard you got married on Valentine’s Day. Is it true?' I said, 'Yes.' They asked, 'Was it a man?' I said, 'Yes.' Then they gave me a standing ovation." The students then asked about his partner.

"I said, 'His name is Randy. It was a beautiful wedding. Any other questions?'", Fanelle said.

A male student began muttering negative comments under his breath, Fanelle said, so he read aloud the sexual harassment code in a student handbook. He also used the opportunity to talk about suffrage, bigotry and the Magna Carta.

Mr. Fanelle handled the situation perfectly. He was honest with his students. They would not have accepted anything less. What is interesting is the way he handled the situation of negative comments - brilliant by incorporating the history of intolerance into the daily lesson!

It's a bit amazing to me that parents (not all parents, but many) are so out of date with what kids are going through these days. Many of their children's peers are gay and are totally out. To them, it's really not a big deal, but just one more thing out of their day.

I'm constantly reading about how the younger generation is more tolerant to gays and gay marriage.

On Same-Sex Marriage, Young People Are More Tolerant Than Their Elders

Perhaps the best evidence that support of same-sex marriage is largely generational came three weeks ago when the Baylor University newspaper, The Lariat, offered its editorial supporting the mayor of San Francisco's decision to issue marriage licenses to gay couples.

Naturally, the administration of the largest Baptist university in the world was not happy. The university president's response was in The Lariat a few days later, as was another from the student publications board, admonishing the newspaper staff for the editorial. The statements also assured trustees and alumni that "the guidelines have been reviewed with The Lariat staff, so that they will be able to avoid this error in the future."

It's funny what a small world we live in. It wasn't so long ago that Baylor University was interested in Kent and wanted to recruit him for a job. We immediately dismissed it without consideration. Why should we put up with their attitudes about gays when we don't have to?

I suppose we should have made it clear to them why they were being dismissed (besides being in a dusty, hot, God-forsaken place), but it would have made no difference. They would have simply dismissed it as, "Oh he's a gay. We don't want him...", and not even questioned their own recruiting methods.

I suppose the biggest issue is that by having those attitudes, they are missing out on opportunities to attract the best and the brightest to their school (again, not our problem). That's one of the prices you pay to hold on to bigotry. It always has a price tag with very few winners.

Last night was "Gay Pasta Night" at Schmedleys. We went a couple of weeks ago and was unable to go last week. We had a great time once again. I like the guys there that I meet. Basically, a group of gay men meet there every Wednesday night for dinner. It's nice to talk with others who have your same interests without worrying about how they will react. We've made some nice acquaintances that will hopefully become friends over time.

In other news, Massachusetts lawmakers are set to reconvene the Constitutional Convention on Monday, their third try to enact a ballot initiative that could ban gay marriage and overturn the Supreme Judicial Court ruling legalizing same-sex marriage. As of May 17, marriage for gay couples will be legal in Massachusetts.

All of this effort is to bring this issue before the voters of Massachusetts. Basically, in a nutshell, the voters will decide who will get civil rights, and that will get the lawmakers off the hook. The lawmakers will then be able to see, "hey, it's the will of the people". Civil rights should never be a ballot issue. NEVER. I read the report, but got disgusted with it. Read it if you wish.

I will comment on one thing that Speaker Thomas M. Finneran told WBZ-AM radio personality David Brudnoy last night:

...the advances made by gay and lesbians have been "put at risk" by reaction to the SJC decision around the country. Other states are considering enacting statutes to ensure that only heterosexual couples can marry. Noting that gays and lesbian may be able to marry May 17 in Massachusetts under the SJC decision, Finneran added: "I think it is very obvious that the pendulum is swinging back aggressively against their interests, their concerns, and their goals in many, many other states. That's one of the rich ironies."

But Speaker Finneran misses even the greater irony here. In trying to come up with a compromise to allow gay and lesbian citizens the right to marry, they are on the side of bigotry, along with all those other states that are passing their own DOMA's against us. There is no way around this fact and they can put window dressing on it all they want; it's not irony, it's bigotry. Eventually this will fail and be seen for what it is.

And, it has already started in Finneran's little world.

Travaglini and Lees are proposing to reword an earlier amendment that was sponsored by Finneran, but Finneran did not sign yesterday's letter and did not sign on with Travaglini and Lees as a sponsor to the latest changes. That is fueling suspicion that the speaker no longer backs the amendment bearing his name.

An a lighter note, I got a chuckle out of this letter that was printed in the Hartford Advocate.

Why Ban Gay Marriage?

1) Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2) Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children.

3) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5) Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6) Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.

8) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

"We are happy Benton County is not going to violate the law by issuing illegal marriage licenses, but we are perplexed as to why they would not issue legal licenses" - Tim Nashif, Defense of Marriage Coalition

After so much confusion and discussion over gay marriage in Multnomah County, Oregon's Benton County has decided to err on the side of caution and ban all weddings.

Now, that is fair for all people. I have no problem with that. Of course, as expected, the Marriage Coalition does have a problem. I guess they miss being able to discriminate so openly. (story)

As War Continues Gay Discharges Plummet

An advocacy group said nearly 800 gays and lesbians were discharged from the military last year -- a 17 percent decrease from 2002 and a 39 percent drop from 2001.

Steve Ralls of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network said the military is now willing to keep gays because of the demands of Iraq and Afghanistan.

I guess it's nice to be needed, but it would be even nicer if the military were willing to keep gay service members in peace time, when they don't need us to go to war to be killed.

It's a bit overwhelming at times. There's so much happening in the news. I'm ticked off at those driving a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage because I don't want to be regarded as a second-class citizen. That's not too much to ask is it? The proponents of this amendment know the original wording has little chance of going anywhere, so yesterday (see previous post), they put out a version that is "unambiguous".

You know, they can window dress this legislative piece of shit anyway they want to. In the end, it is always going to be the same thing; to deny a specific group of citizens equal rights to other citizens. We need to keep this crap out of OUR Constitution. What makes me sad is that so many people in power have so little regard for the document.

It's not that the issue of gay marriage is all the Bush Administration has to worry about. I've said ever since we went to war with Iraq that we had lost the focus of what we should be going after. We went into Iraq in the quest to find Osama bin Laden, and we stayed. We stayed long after we knew that he had left the country. That told me right there that this was never about Osama bin Laden; it was always about an old score that GW Bush wanted to finish because of the humiliation his father suffered when we went into Iraq in the first place.

And what do we have to show for it? Osama bin Laden is gone and no one really knows where. Sadam Hussein is gone, but there are no weapons of mass destruction. This is what we have to show for our arrogance: 679 coalition deaths, 579 Americans, 59 Britons, five Bulgarians, one Dane, one Estonian, 17 Italians, two Poles, 10 Spaniards, two Thai and three Ukrainian, in the war as of March 22, 2004.

President George Walker Bush is a president without integrity or honor. The brave men and women who died in this war did so with honor, but gave their lives up based on a lie.

And then there's the scathing review of events from Richard Clarke, President Bush’s former top terrorism advisor, in his book Against All Enemies.

"The president dragged me into a room with a couple of other people, shut the door, and said, 'I want you to find whether Iraq did this.' Now he never said, 'Make it up.' But the entire conversation left me in absolutely no doubt that George Bush wanted me to come back with a report that said Iraq did this," Clarke said in a television interview Sunday night.

Yet, with all of this going on, our President still has time to endorse second-class citizenry against gay and lesbian Americans. What else does he have left? Only a legacy built on lies and deception.

Young People Clearly Spilt On Gay Marriage Issue
"It's ironic now because my family does not, in any way, condone gays or gay marriage,'' the 22-year-old senior says. "Yet it was my parents and their church that taught me to love people different than me.''

Bigotry toward gays dulls Atlanta's shine

The forces that oppose a more open, inclusive and tolerant society now focus on a new target -- gay and lesbian Americans. They would have us believe that same-sex relationships somehow threaten the very institution of heterosexual marriage, and that constitutional amendments both at the state and federal level are required to save civilization as we know it.

This thinking is wrapped in religious rhetoric, just as efforts to maintain slavery in the 19th century, efforts to justify segregation and Jim Crow laws in the middle of the 20th century, and efforts even today to marginalize women are supported with purposefully selected biblical references. - Ben F. Johnson IIIm managing partner of Alston and Bird law firm in Atlanta

Abercrombie T-shirt 'Offensive', says Governor

Youth-oriented apparel retailer Abercrombie & Fitch has again courted controversy with a T-shirt bearing a tongue-in-cheek reference to incest.

The men’s T-shirts, which carry the slogan ‘It’s all relative in West Virginia’ superimposed over a map of the American state, were “offensive” and “inaccurate” according to Governor Bob Wise.

In a letter to Abercrombie CEO Michael Jeffries, Wise asked that the Ohio-based retailer drop the T-shirt from its range.

"I write to you today to demand that you immediately remove this item from your stores and your print and online catalogues," he wrote.

The new wording is designed to leave state legislatures with the unambiguous right to recognize civil unions and grant benefits to same-sex couples. This is the new wording:

''Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman.''

What people are saying about the proposed change:
The latest proposal to amend the U.S. Constitution to discriminate against gay and lesbian families is a desperate political move. The sponsors of the amendment realized that they did not even have a simple fifty-percent majority, much less a two-thirds majority in either house of Congress.

The latest draft won't change a single vote in Congress. The two principal reasons that opponents of the constitutional amendment have for opposing it are that the country should not write discrimination into the Constitution, and that there is no reason to amend the Constitution when the federal statute on marriage has never been invalidated by any court.

The new proposal would still write discrimination into the Constitution, deny all states the right to decide who can get married in their states, preempt the state constitutions of the fifty states, prohibit such important court decisions as the Vermont civil union decision and the Oregon domestic partnership decision, and potentially jeopardize a wide array of other rights provided to gay and lesbian couples and their children. - Christopher E. Anders, an ACLU legislative counsel

The changes to this amendment are technical clarifications that are important to help move it forward, but are legally and technically minor. The sponsors of this amendment have said clearly that they want to protect marriage between a man and a woman, but leave other arrangements to the state legislatures.

These changes make that clear and specifically address concerns that some Democrats in Congress have raised. This amendment will be examined in the hearing I will chair on Tuesday. - Sen. John Cornyn, chairman of the Constitution subcommittee

I think this change of language is a good indication of how controversial and complex this issue is – here, on the eve of a hearing into the text of one amendment, we see a change in language so dramatic that we are now really confronted with a different amendment altogether, with its own unique problems. Amending the Constitution is not a process best done overnight, on a moment’s notice. - Sen. Dianne Feinstein (California), the ranking Democrat on the committee

I took a day off from blogging yesterday. We got up, had coffee, I surfed a bit, and Kent read a bit. Then, we went to the gym to work out. The rest of the day, I didn't want to worry about what else was going on in the world. It was nice for a change.

In late afternoon, we started looking at the dates that we will be out in Idaho. We are going to Idaho for the 50th wedding anniversary of Kent's parents. We hope to see a few friends and selected family members (for me, that's easy, just my brother), and I will meet much of Kent's family that I've never met I suppose. I just hope that it's not one of those weird and awkward situations where people come to see what a "gay couple" looks like. I also want to see the college that I went to. I understand that it has changed a great deal. We will also take a vacation up in the Idaho wilderness for about five days after that. I suppose it's a safe assumption that the Idaho wilderness isn't yet wired to the internet. I'll have to suffer through it I suppose. Hummm, maybe I can hook up via a satelite phone!

So what did happen while I was away? For one thing, Rev. Karen Dammann, the lesbian Methodist minister will be allowed to continue her ministry despite many mixed reactions over the decision.

Some time ago, I talked about State Rep. Arlon Lindner, who has stated that homosexuals were never exterminated during the Holocaust. His own party rejected him Saturday for a new term. Linder blamed Republicans for turning against him.

Gay Holocaust Denier Dumped By GOP - (St. Paul, Minnesota) A Minnesota Republican was outraged gays, religious leaders and Holocaust survivors by claiming gays were never exterminated or sent to concentration camps by the Nazis has failed to get his own party's endorsement to run for another term in the state legislature.

State Rep. Arlon Lindner, 68, was passed over by the GOP Saturday, in favor of a less controversial candidate.

Last year, Lindner, introduced legislation that would repeal the state human rights amendment that protects LGBT Minnesotans from discrimination in employment, housing, education and other areas. The bill would also would have removed sexual orientation as a protected class in hate crimes laws.

Not that it will make much difference, but opponents of same-sex marriage have filed a petition that would ask Massachusetts voters in 2008 to adopt a constitutional amendment banning both gay marriages and civil unions. Of course, by then, there will probably be thousands of gay marriages that have been performed.

But on a brighter note, same-sex weddings are continuing in New Paltz. Six Unitarian Universalist ministers married 25 same-sex couples last Saturday.

On the downside, two ministers from New Paltz, Reverends Kay Greenleaf and Dawn Sangrey, will be arraigned today on misdemeanor charges for marrying same-sex couples.

You know, according to Mapquest, New Paltz, is 2 hours, 23 minutes (136.84 miles) from my home. I may just have to drive over there next weekend to see what the town is like.

And finally, I was delighted to read that I can still buy Girl Scout cookies with a clear conscience. You see, the Girl Scouts do not discriminate against gay and lesbian citizens as the Boy Scouts of America does, even though they are feeling some pressure to discriminate. It's still safe to buy those cookies to show support. Of course, if they change their stance, I will cut them off without a cent! :)

For the next two weeks, I will be in Dayton, Tennessee on sensitivity training (just joking). :)

Last Tuesday, the commissioners passed a measure making it illegal to live in Dayton if you are gay. On Thursday, the voted 8-0 to rescind their action on Tuesday. They said it was all a "misunderstanding". Yeah right...

That's ok. I didn't really wanna live in good ole Tennessee anywayz. If they have time to dedicate to stuff like this, I guess their unemployment is low, business is good, jobs are thriving, educational programs are doing well, etc.

Commissioners in rural, conservative Rhea County never intended to create the "wildfire" of reaction that resulted from banning gay people, the county attorney said after the board reversed its 2-day-old decision.

The original vote was meant to show support for the state's ban on same-sex marriages, county Attorney Gary Fritts said Thursday.

"They wanted to send a message to our (state) representative and senator that Rhea County supports the ban on same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage is what it was all about," Fritts said. "There has just been so much misunderstanding about this. It was to stop people from coming here and getting married and living in Rhea County." (story)

Other news
Three gay couples unofficially married outside N.Y. City Hall - Three same-sex couples were married by clergy members on the steps of City Hall, and the Manhattan prosecutor said he would not seek to sanction those who officiated.

The unions Thursday will not be officially recognized because of the state's ban on gay marriages. The couples had been turned away a few hours earlier from the city clerk's office when they sought marriage licenses.

Quebec Legalizes Gay Marriage - MONTREAL -- The Quebec Court of Appeal has ruled the province's current definition of marriage to be in violation of constitutional guarantees of equal treatment under the law and given the right of gay and lesbian residents of the province to marry.

The ruling is the latest to send shockwaves across the North American landscape on the question of whether same-sex couples should be entitled to the full rights and responsibilities of marriage.

Spain Moves to Back Gay Unions - MADRID -- The incoming Prime Minister of Spain, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, announced on Thursday he will move to legalize gay unions, though his new may not go as far as activists have urged and grant full marriage equality to gay couples.

The new Socialist government, which was swept into power on the heels of terrorist bombings that killed more than 200 people, wasted no time in staking out a new agenda for the country.

Anti-Defamation Group Has Criticism And Praise For 50 Cent - It's no surprise that the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation would express concern over controversial comments made by 50 Cent against homosexuals. What's surprising is that the organization is praising the rapper for his honesty.

GLADD, you like honesty? How 'bout this? ARE YOU NUTS? Recent quotes from 50 Cent:
"I ain't into faggots. I don't like gay people around me, because I'm not comfortable with what their thoughts are. I'm not prejudiced. I just don't go with gay people and kick it - we don't have that much in common. I'd rather hang out with a straight dude. But women who like women, that's cool."

"It's OK to write that I'm prejudiced. This is as honest as I could possibly be with you. When people become celebrities they change the way they speak. But my conversation with you is exactly the way I would have a conversation on the street. We refer to gay people as faggots, as homos. It could be disrespectful, but that's the facts."

Geez, and I support GLADD.

Wilmington Parents Angered by Children's Book about Gay Princes

The parents of a first-grader are fuming over the book their daughter brought home from the school library: a children's story about a prince whose true love turns out to be another prince.

Michael Hartsell said he and his wife, Tonya, couldn't believe it when Prince Bertie, the leading character in "King & King," waves off a bevy of eligible princes before falling for Prince Lee.

The book ends with the princes marrying and sharing a kiss. "I was flabbergasted," Hartsell said. "My child is not old enough to understand something like that, especially when it is not in our beliefs."

All I can say to the parents in this story is, "GET OVER IT! This is the world we are all in together. WE DO EXIST, so at least be honest with your kids - they know more than you think they know. Where do you think all the gay bashing comes from? What do you think killed Matthew Sheppard? I'll tell you what, homophobia, and it's not learned overnight."

You would think that people would understand it, but they don't. Let me make it even more clear:

Homophobia LESSON 1: It's harder to bash a gay person's brains in and tie them to a fence for 18 hours to die if you actually see them as a.... human being.

Too harsh? Hey, our people are being killed and put in hospitals every day because of this. It's time to wake up to these facts. The real question to be asked is this: Are the parents upset because the prince kissed someone (introducing sex at a very early age), or because the person the prince kissed was male? We all know the answer to that question, and that is the real problem.

I may be concerned if I had a first-grader who was reading this, but not because of a gay issue. It would be because of a sexual overtone - that kissing was involved in the first place. By making it a gay issue, parents are only reinforcing homophobia.

And if you don't think homophobia effects us as a society, take a look at this picture, taken of a teenager outside City Hall in San Francisco, where gay couples are were getting married.

I look at the picture of this hateful teen and I immediately feel outrage. I want to confront him about his hatred, but I realize that he probably doesn't fully understand it himself. Then, as I study it further, and look at his eyes, I see how sad they are. It seems that all he has left is hate, and no happiness. I wonder, what happened to him to make him this way? Somewhere along the line, our society failed this young man. He lacked guidance at home or at school. Now, his hatred is consuming him. It's very sad.

I'm probably the wrong one to "pass judgment" on this story, but it reminded me when Kent and I were part of St. Gregory's Episcopal Church in San Francisco, when we lived there. We were solid members of the church and very involved with it's life.

The church did a "study" to try to come up with some same-sex blessing for gay couples. It took a couple of years to talk through all the "issues". And let me tell you, when any church says that it's going to do a "study", expect a lot of issues to come out and a lot of time to be spent on them.

We did what the bishop asked us to do. We put in a lot of time talking about our life and our relationship, along with many other gay couples. After we submitted the study, we never heard of it again. The bishop was apparently just giving us lip service and in the end, the issue, along with our value in the church, went away. He never wanted the report to see the light of day, so it didn't.

Today my feeling is this... if you belong to a church, prepare to deal with all the shit that they have to give you, because if you are gay or lesbian, all you are going to get is shit. That's why I reached a point in my life that I simply didn't have time for all their shit anymore, and stopped going altogether.

I guess this lesbian couple value their involvement in their church so much, that they are willing to let that church drag them and their relationship through the mud. Like I said, I'm probably the wrong one to judge this.

BOTHELL, Wash. - Dozens of demonstrators were arrested Wednesday as they tried to stop a church trial that could remove a lesbian from the Methodist ministry for living openly in a lesbian relationship. (source)

Companies offer more benefits to same-sex couples - I spotted this article in The Wall Street Journal. It seems that more employers are offering benefits to same-sex partners.

It reminded me of the time I asked the management of my company (a year ago) to extend benefits to same-sex partners of it's employees. I was flat-out refused. Later, I was told that there had been discussion on if I was going to "cause trouble" because of it. The CFO told me that he told the president of the company that my intention was not to "cause trouble"; that it was just an honest question. I told the CFO that I was asking because I wanted to know if my company was going to simply be fair to it's gay employees. Now I know how I rate. That's all.

While President Bush pushes a constitutional ban on gay marriage, change in the workplace is going full speed toward allowing same-sex couples the same work-family benefits and supports as heterosexuals.

The amendment drive is accelerating workplace trends on several fronts. More employers are exploring offering domestic-partner benefits for gay couples, according to benefits consultant, Hewitt Associates. Angered by the amendment proposal, gay and lesbian workers are "coming out" to co-workers. And water-cooler talk about gay-marriage issues, both pro and con, has mounted to a dull roar.

It's ironic that spring is just a few days away, and we have all of this stuff suddenly on the ground. The same day that the storm hit, the spring wildflower seed arrived. I had planned on putting it out this weekend. This is from the first storm. Now they are saying that we are going to get another 5"-7" tomorrow.

I'm tired of winter! Here are a couple of pictures I took this morning. The first is from my front porch. The second is our back yard. It's hard to believe it's March 18th!

I hope every elected official in the United States takes a look at that Constitution that they swore to uphold. I hope they conclude exactly what I've concluded - that there's nothing in the Constitution that allows me to discriminate against people.

Guys like me come and go. The one thing that transcends everything else are principles. If I just wanted to get ahead politically, this issue is the last issue I would have touched. - San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom on Gay Marriage

There's a new bill that was introduced to the US House of Representatives on 03/04/2004 by Rep. Ron Lewis from Kentucky. The bill, HR3920. This bill would "allow Congress to reverse the judgments of the United States Supreme Court".

You can read more about this on Clack.

I read this letter to the editor from the Heber Springs Sun-Times. I hope you enjoy it.

Dear Editor:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. - The Declaration of Independence

It has come to my attention in the past several weeks that this country has a new civil war brewing. Now don't misunderstand me. I am not saying a physical war between two or more separate military forces. But, I do mean a Civil war. Or more so to the point, a conflict of immense proportions. One that is against ourselves, consisting of many battles and struggles to determine a moral resolute. Now, you're asking yourselves what is this huge conflict that I am speaking of. Well as some, if not most, of you may have suspected, I am referring to the ongoing ever escalating same-sex marriage conflict.

Being from Idaho, this article was interesting to me. This is from My Own Public Idaho -- Wading Into the Gay Marriage Issue

The battle will continue to rage in the opinion pages long after the issue is dead in the legislature and decided in the Supreme Court, to be sure, but opinions are often more candidly expressed in midnight barroom chats. On a recent evening in an Idaho Falls tavern, a local exhaled a thick cloud of smoke and announced, "I never thought I'd see faggots in Idaho."

"They're all coming up from California," the bartender replied, and the discussion naturally turned to San Francisco and gay marriage. The smoker who had seen his first homosexual in Idaho said, "I've got a marriage license for you -- it comes with a bullet," and the room erupted in approving chuckles.

...even if it's a sham, it's still legal.

I came across this story about yet another gay couple who applied for a marriage license out in Seattle. I would never have thought to do this, which is just as well. The more I think about it, the dumber this whole marriage issue becomes.

Last week, Dan Savage went to the King County Administration Building (Seattle) and asked for a marriage license. And, he got one...

The only issue is, and this may be a problem for some of you wanting to marry your partner, is that he wasn't able to marry his boyfriend. As Dan put it, "I may be the only openly gay man in Washington State who has a legal marriage license. Unfortunately, it's not a license to marry my boyfriend--the guy I've lived with for 10 years, the guy I started a family with, the guy I'm still crazy about--but a license to marry my coworker, Amy Jenniges. As much as I enjoy working with her, I'm not going to leave my boyfriend for Amy."

Amy Jenniges lives with her girlfriend, Sonia, and I live with my boyfriend, Terry. Last Friday I accompanied Amy and Sonia to room 403, the licensing division, at the King County Administration Building. When Amy and Sonia asked the clerk for a marriage license, the clerk turned white. You could see, "Oh my God, the gay activists are here!" running through her head. County clerks in the marriage license office had been warned to expect gay couples sooner or later, but I guess this particular clerk didn't expect us to show up five minutes before closing on Friday.

The clerk called over her manager, a nice older white man, who explained that Amy and Sonia couldn't have a marriage license. So I asked if Amy and I could have one--even though I'm gay and live with my boyfriend, and Amy's a lesbian and lives with her girlfriend. We emphasized to the clerk and her manager that Amy and I don't live together, we don't love each other, we don't plan to have kids together, and we're going to go on living and sleeping with our same-sex partners after we get married. So could we still get a marriage license?

"Sure," the license-department manager said, "If you've got $54, you can have a marriage license."
[...]
We came to make a point about the absurdity of our marriage laws. Amy can't marry Sonia, I can't marry Terry--why? Because the sanctity of marriage must be protected from the queers! But Amy and I can get a marriage license--and into a sham marriage, if we care to, a joke marriage, one that I promise you won't produce children. And we can do this with the state's blessing--why? Because one of us is a man and one of us is a woman. Who cares that one of us is a gay man and one of us is a lesbian? So marriage is to be protected from the homos--unless the homos marry each other.

Is it putting too fine a point on it to say that this is a pretty fucked-up situation? (source)

Not really. I think that kind of sums it up, doesn't it?

I read an article written by Nicholas Stix this morning. I've seen his work before. He seems articulate enough. My problem is, gay marriage is such a simple issue to understand, I honestly don't understand some people's lack of ability to comprehend it.

Below is an exerpt from the article, along with an email I sent to Mr. Stix. Of course, it will probably be deep sixed once he realizes that it's from a "gay activist", but at least I feel better about it.

Why are gay activists so intent on forcing Christianity to submit to them? Because Christianity is foundational to America, and they want to replace America's foundations with those of their own choosing. And because Christianity condemns sodomy, and gay activists will not abide being told, "No." Theirs is a totalitarian will. They will have their way, even if it means having the Bible censored, and remaking God in their own image.

My Response:

Nicholas,

Come on, you are brighter than that. I know that you don't mean to put out a blanket statement like that as though it's gospel.

You probably won't believe this, but I'm a gay man... some would call me a "gay activist" I suppose, and I actually couldn't care less about what Christians do or do not do, as long as they respect my CIVIL rights (that's different from RELIGIOUS rights, by the way).

To illistrate my point, I want to get married to the man I have spent the last 28 years with. This will be a civil marriage (when I allowed to get married), and not a religious marriage or ceremony. I have NO INTEREST WHAT SO EVER in forcing any religion into accepting my relationship with my life partner. I couldn't actually care less if they approve of it or not.

In fact, if the government did enable me to get a civil marriage, and then turned around to insist that a church honor that relationship, I would actually have a big problem with that. I believe in the separation of church and state, not just when it's convenient. The state has no business forcing the church to honor my relationship or marriage to my life partner. In the same way, the church really has no business telling the government what CIVIL relationships it should or should not endorse.

Now, that's not so hard to understand, is it?

I think all of the energy that the gay community is putting into "waging war" against the Christians is a waste of time. But, you should remember, if you want to be fair about this, that it was the Christian community that started this war against us, for whatever that's worth. I think a lot of what is happening now is reaction. I know that I find myself reacting negatively and emotionally when someone compares my relationship to my life partner to that of someone who wants to marry a goat, or a tree. That's when I tell myself, "...these people just don't get it."

Consider what one 20-year-old student wrote in an essay about this topic in a class I instruct on gender psychology: “I have beaten up faggots before, and I used to feel guilty—not anymore! Bush says fags don’t count, so I guess it’s cool to do it.” To be sure, the president did not say “Faggots don’t count,” but some may see Bush’s comments as the proverbial green light to act out hatefully. - from The Advocate

Judge for yourself.

We are having a great time in Washington, D.C. Mostly, we are seeing all the sites, but the restaurants here are wonderful. Last night we ate at a Latin American restaurant, called Agua Ardiente. The night before that, we ate at a Peruvian restaurant, called El Chalan. Tonight, we are going to a Lebanese restaurant called Bacchus. Kent has eaten there before, and really liked it.

I have my photos uploaded of all the places we've been so far. Take a look if you'd like.

I haven't had much time to be online while here, but I see that we have suffered some defeats, and perhaps some triumphs.

I also spotted this very interesting article from columnist Joel McNally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin:

The whole idea of gay people seeking the same rights as everyone else is very recent. Now, it must seem to an older generation that gay people are in their faces all the time. They're on television. They're on the streets. Now, they are even lining up by the thousands to get married.

In fact, many of those gays who are marrying would be perfectly happy to return to anonymity. That's the way many of them have lived together for years in deeply committed, private relationships.

They aren't seeking to be newsworthy. They are simply making the same personal commitment to each other that people who love each other always have.

And then there was this from Madison, Wisconsin... "I never thought that the state of Wisconsin would be debating for 10 hours putting discrimination in the constitution." - Sen. Fred Risser, D-Madison

Even though San Francisco is no longer performing marriages for same-sex couples, doesn't mean that it's over for our quest for equal rights. The torch has been lit and people will see the light. Jason West has been ordered by the Attorney General of New York to stop performing gay marriages, and so he has, for now. But, two ministers for the Unitarian Universalist Church is going ahead with marriages in New Paltz, over the objections of the state.

We have many many friends out there. We can't lose hope when we can only win!

Well, we are off to Washington, D.C. for a few days. Kent is on a business trip, and I'm going along for a mini-vacation for the site seeing.

I will probably have access to the internet, so will be making posting. But in case I don't, be good and I'll post after I get home on Monday.

UPDATE, 3/11/2004: Scott Matthewman of The GayVote points out in comments that Bette Midler did not actually write this letter. About.com explains how the urban legend originated.

Dear President Bush,

Today you called upon Congress to move quickly to amend the US Constitution, and set in Federal stone a legal definition of marriage. I would like to know why.

What I find even more disgusting than these statistics is that the Catholic Church is still trying to deny their culpability in these incidents, saying that they will have to look at the problem of allowing homosexuals to become priests!

These crimes have nothing to do with sexual orientation. They are crimes of opportunity and of one person being in a position of power over another person. Until the Church figures this out and stops trying to scapegoat others, these abuses will continue to happen.

You know, Kent and I have even considered moving to Canada. That may seem extreme to many, but over the last year, I've come to realize that my country sees me as less that equal to everyone else. I've come to realize that even though my country boasts of being this great super power, with liberty, what we really are doing is using our strength to bully other countries to see it our way. And, as far as freedom goes, it is apparently a conditional thing.

True, I have freedom to walk the streets without fear (in most areas) of being shot or killed or being arrested. But, the greatest freedom that exists is denied to me and my partner; that is, the freedom to love and have my relationship accepted by my country. That's very hard to deal with.

I was reading an article that talks directly about this. It shows how much talent we are losing to Canada and all the jobs we are losing. I don't want to leave my country, but in a very real sense, I feel that my country has left me.

So as gay and lesbian couples from around the world flock to San Francisco to marry, people such as Abbie Sommer cast their eyes north. The 47- year-old San Francisco resident is making plans to move to Canada with her girlfriend of six years, a Russian in this country on a student visa.

"For us folks planning to take off to Canada, nothing's really changed. We still have to go," said Sommer, a business development manager at a software company. "No one should have to go through this. This country is like going back in time. It's a bunch of Puritans. . . . I don't want to sound really bitter, but I am."

Canadian immigration officials do not track the number of gay couples applying for permanent residency, said Howard Spunt, an immigration program manager at the Canadian Consulate in Los Angeles. But he said his office has fielded significantly more inquiries from gay couples in the last couple of years.
...
"As long as the United States is continuing to be oppressive in their lack of sanctity of unions for gays and lesbians, then they're going to continue to lose really good citizens," said Mary Joseph, a Toronto immigration lawyer. "Your loss, our gain."

Other stories
On Same-Sex Marriage, Bush Failed The Public And Himself
N.J. town officials stop taking gay marriage applications
Gay Republicans to run ad urging defeat of Bush-backed amendment
Mass. lawmakers feel national pressure on gay marriage issue

I spotted this letter in the Salt Lake City Tribune a week or so ago.

Perhaps one day, when my time on this planet is done, someone can explain to me why during mankind's brief stay we had to always be pushing down on someone.

Someone is always getting bullied in our history: Native Americans on reservations, Japanese in internment camps, African Americans segregated, women's suffrage, etc. Now, American society has turned its glare upon the homosexual community/culture. It seems to me the gays and lesbians just want to work, come home to their loved ones, eat a good meal and watch the occasional reality show, just like everyone else in America. Does anyone remember that whacky guy who tried to blame all of his nation's woes upon a single group of people. He started out by putting yellow six-pointed stars on their clothes.

Why don't we just allow gays and lesbians to have their unions legally recognized and see how it turns out? Is it really going to shred the fabric of society as predicted by the hatemongers? When you come down to the brass tacks, they're just trying to love another human being. And, isn't that what that guy said a couple of thousand years ago before he was nailed to a cross and died for our sins?

Mike "L" Montoya
Sandy

Coffee is good for you!
I've been saying it for years, and now science has finally caught up to me! Coffee, it turns out, has been found by a study conducted in Finland, to ward off adult onset diabetes. The study showed that women who downed 10 or more cups a day had nearly an 80 percent lowered risk, while men who drank the same cut their risk by 55 percent.

I have over that last year curved my intake of coffee. I used to be one of those who derived my energy by this formula: (~6 hours of sleep * 8+ cups of coffee) = More energy output than (8+ hours of sleep * 2 cups of coffee).

But, I finally gave in to the coffee bashers who kept telling me that drinking that much coffee was going to do one or more of the following things to me: a) make my palms hairy, b) make me go blind, or c) give me high blood pressure. I didn't want any of that so I now drink one large travel container of coffee (about two cups) in the morning.

Here's the study if you want to read more about it.

Smoking in Bars and Restaurants
Speaking of other things that are bad for you.... There is controversy over how bad coffee is for you. But, few would argue that smoking is good for you. There are mountains of evidence that it simply kills people. Everyone knows this. So, last year, the state of Connecticut decided to pass a law prohibiting smoking in restaurants and bars in the state.

Now, lawmakers are considering a few amendments to that law. Even though we all know that smoking kills, apparently what is good for business is more important than human lives (go figure).

Smoking already is a thing of the past in restaurants. But for small bars and cafes that thrive on a clientele that prefers to light up over a beer after work, losing even a few customers could be disastrous.

Rep. Leonard Greene, R-Beacon Falls, a ranking member on the General Law Committee, is pushing a bill that would exempt bars and cafes if they purchased air purifiers or smoke eaters or built smoking rooms.

"It was kind of shoved down their throats," said Greene. "A lot of business owners, in particular, were left out of the loop." Bars with fewer than five employees would also be exempt. (story)

Hubble Telescope
It's ironic that we get all excited about the new images being relayed to earth from the Hubble Telescope, yet we are no longer going to be maintaining the telescope. Doesn't make much sense to me.

Enlarged view of photo

Astronomers at the Space Telescope Science Institute today unveiled the deepest portrait of the visible universe ever achieved by humankind. Called the Hubble Ultra Deep Field (HUDF), the million-second-long exposure reveals the first galaxies to emerge from the so-called "dark ages," the time shortly after the big bang when the first stars reheated the cold, dark universe. The new image should offer new insights into what types of objects reheated the universe long ago.

This historic new view is actually two separate images taken by Hubble's Advanced Camera for Surveys (ACS) and the Near Infrared Camera and Multi-object Spectrometer (NICMOS). Both images reveal galaxies that are too faint to be seen by ground-based telescopes, or even in Hubble's previous faraway looks, called the Hubble Deep Fields (HDFs), taken in 1995 and 1998. (story)

Mayor Jason West is the mayor of New Paltz, New York. He's probably the truest friend our community has had in my life time. He had absolutely no reason to put himself and his life on the line for us - yet, he did, and in a big way! He took it upon himself to issue marriage licenses to gay couples shortly after San Francisco began issuing the licenses. The difference is, Jason West doesn't live in San Francisco. He is not graced with a huge gay population for his support. It's just.... him, and his convictions.

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR JASON!

New Jersey's first same-sex marriage ceremony was performed Monday in Asbury Park. In a written statement, City Clerk Dawn Tomek called it "a matter of fundamental civil and Constitutional rights."

She said New Jersey is one of 12 states that have no statute expressly banning same-sex marriages and that nothing in state law defines marriage as the exclusive province of opposite-sex couples.

Two men were married in City Hall after being issued a license by city officials. About 10 people attended the ceremony. Asbury Park officials say six other applications for same-sex weddings are pending. (story)

Even before the dust settles on the charges levied against New Paltz, NY Mayor Jason West, two Unitarian Universalist ministers have performed about a dozen gay weddings Saturday in the village 75 miles north of New York City.

It would seem this movement is spreading like wildfire.

ALBANY, N.Y. -- The prosecutor who criminally charged a mayor for performing same-sex weddings is reviewing whether to charge two ministers who stepped in to marry gay couples who did not have marriage licenses.

New Paltz Mayor Jason West faces 19 misdemeanors and possible jail time for officiating at weddings Feb. 27 for couples who lacked a license. With West under a restraining order, a group of New Paltz residents lined up two Unitarian Universalist ministers to perform about a dozen gay weddings Saturday in the village 75 miles north of New York City. (story)

On a related story, in San Francisco, some of the thousands of couples who have been married there have gone to the Department of Motor Vehicles