April 2004 Archives
The 1913 law that will be used to prevent out-of-state same-sex couples from marrying in Massachusetts has not been enforced in decades because county clerks were directed to ignore it.
Enacted to avoid conducting interracial marriages for couples from the South, the law says that visiting couples may not marry in the Bay State if their marriage would be illegal in their own state. If they somehow evade this prohibition, the law says that their marriage will be "void."
According to the Boston Globe, the statute didn't simply fall into disuse. Instead, the state of Massachusetts proactively ordered town clerks to ignore it. This information, reported on Wednesday, makes the law's sudden revival more questionable. (source)
Well, it's going to be interesting to see if the clerks of Mass. will actually follow the Governor's order to enforce the 1913 law, a law that was put in place to prevent interracial marriage. All these years the law was ignored until now. Personally, I don't know if Kent and I will be going to Mass. to get married. It's very murky ground we are on.
Let's say that we go to Mass. to get married, it's not at all clear that Connecticut would honor it. There is no DOMA in the state of Connecticut that says that marriage is only between an man and a woman, so it's not really illegal here, but it's also not honored. Kent and I went to the Coventry Town Clerk and asked for a marriage license. We were refused and told that same-sex marriage is not recognized in Connecticut. Given that, if Massachusetts asks, there is no way that I can say that same-sex marriage is legal in Connecticut because we were formally refused a license.
I suppose it's just as well. I mean, I honestly don't want to come home across the state line only to have my marriage license reduced to a worthless piece of paper, without legal backing. I think that would be very difficult for me. To me, the marriage is a symbol of our love and commitment to each other, beyond the legal implications. To have my Town Clerk tell me that she is unable to give me a marriage license is one thing. But to actually hold a real marriage license given by a state, and then have that same marriage license not honored by my state would be very difficult for me.
It will be interesting to see what happens. We have talked about going to Providence where the clerks have said that they will not ask. If we do, the only recourse we will have on our return to Connecticut is to legally challenge our state.
Washington, DC, Apr. 30 (UPI) -- President George Bush told the panel investigating the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks a security memo he got warning of attacks lacked a date or place.
In the closed-door interview alongside Vice President Dick Cheney in the Oval Office Thursday, a commission member who asked not to be identified told the Washington Times Bush was questioned repeatedly about the Aug. 6, 2001, memo titled, "Bin Ladin determined to strike in U.S."
Bush said if his administration had known more, it would have taken every action to thwart the al-Qaida terrorists. (source)
Well, apparently the information was good enough to take us into war. I understand that no one wants to admit error here, but everything that I've heard points to indications that something was going to happen. I'll give the administration credit for the fact that there were no specifics on when, how, or where. However, the administration has also admitted that the chatter went up significantly in August, 2001. Yet, nothing was done. The President continued his vacation in Texas. The airports were not alerted. The Coast Guard was not alerted. Nothing.
Wouldn't it just be easier if someone actually said the words, "we screwed up". I would have more respect for that. At least then, we could put this behind us and move on. Now, there's a lot of finger pointing, and guess what? We still are not any safer today than we were two and a half years ago!
It's a false sense of security. People are screened more thoroughly (at least that's what we think) and carry-on baggage is screened, as it always has been. What's different is now some people are being asked to take off their shoes. Oh yeah, that makes me feel so much safer!
The baggage that is loaded into the baggage area underneath the plane is not searched. The airlines ask for the necessary paper work to ship packages, but that can be easily forged with a little up-front intelligence work.
There are a lot of things that are shipped via passenger airlines. People don't understand this. When we get on a plane, we think the only thing traveling with us are the bags that we couldn't fit under our seats or in the overhead. The bulk of what goes into the baggage area underneath are parcels from third-party shippers. NONE OF THAT IS INSPECTED!
I'm frankly surprised that another terrorist attack hasn't happened before now. And when it does, who will be blamed? Will the administration be able to avoid the blame for that, or will it happen on the next watch, assuming that Bush is not re-elected? And, will we act swiftly and decisively in dealing with the problem by establishing yet another commission on that incident (more finger pointing, without anyone assuming responsibility)?
Okay... I'm rambling... but my point is this: What will it take for us to stop all the bureaucracy and really deal with the problem of security in this country? Are we even capable of doing that, or are we just too big a target?
Our own security agencies (FBI, CIA) can't even talk to each other to share information (it boggles the mind), and even within the FBI, apparently there were FBI field offices who were trying to get FBI Headquarters to look at their security warnings, all of which were ignored (perhaps some egos need to be adjusted?).
I can't give any reasons why we should be able to marry that are better than this.
Please read Jeff and Adam's story.
A letter by Matt Lopas - April 23, 2004...
"In getting wrapped up on legality, we forget the humanity."
Tom was only a senior in high school when he took his own life.
It was October. As his -- and my -- high school planned for homecoming, he was preparing his college applications and showing off his senior-picture proofs to teachers. But Tom had a secret.
Tom was gay.
In all the hoopla surrounding same-sex marriage and Wednesday's National Day of Silence, I can't help but think of Tom, my silent reminder.
Not that I need a reminder lately. But the actions of the Massachusetts Supreme Court, the mayor of San Francisco and President Bush on same-sex marriage were pretty far away from me. Frankly I was unsure whether the country was prepared for the debate. But then the issue hit home for me. It became about Tom.
I really feel for this young man. He has a lot of heart and courage. I wrote about this on April 27th. It turns out that he came in last in the election. I'm sure he's very disappointed by that, but I hope he knows that if nothing else, he has made people think about this issue.
A month or so ago I received an email through Classmates.com asking if I would be interested in the 30th anniversary of my high school. I half-heartedly said that I might if I happened to be in Idaho at the time. I am planning on a trip to Idaho in August to see family and take some time off.
The next thing I know is that I was added to the list. Then, a couple of weeks later I received an invitation in the mail. It was an RSVP to the "Emmett Class of 1974" and is to be held on July 16th and 17th in Emmett, Idaho.
On July 16th at 7:00pm, on "Highway 16", they are having "Swing Scene". I have no idea what that is, but I was never much of a swinger. ;-)
On July 17th from 11:00am-4:00pm there will a picnic at "Wild Rose Park, below the dam". Now, that park had special significance to me. You see, I knew I was gay when I was six year old. So, I grew up knowing I was very different. Unlike so many kids today who can safely be open about themselves, I didn't feel that I had that option. Even today, looking back on that time in my life, I think I was right.
When I was in high school. one of the places that I went to get away from my reality was the Wild Rose Park. I don't believe it had that name then. I simply called it the "Dam Park" (or damn park, depending on how you wanted to look at it). No one else went there. Every time that I went, the only people there were those who took care of the dam.
I would park, and get situated on the lawn. I'd put my blanket out on the lawn, and the food, and would get my radio out. It was always a Saturday afternoon that I would do this. I would tune into "Live from the Met" and listen to the opera. As the opera was being performed, I was laid out on my blanket, reading, or just thinking about life, all the while I could hear the water far away from the spillway of the dam as I was listening to Maria Callas in Tosca. Keep in mind, I was listening to this live, so I was actually hearing opera legends such as Theresa Stratas, Maria Callas, Di Steffano, Jussi Björling, Renata Tebaldi, Christa Ludwig, Sherrill Milnes, Franco Corelli, and many others when they were in the prime of their careers.
So to me, the Dam Park was a way to escape and go somewhere else. That was all Emmett had to offer me. To go back to that same park and have a picnic with some of the people who made my life in high school a living hell seems to be somewhat repulsive to me.
On the second page is a list of around thirty people who are "missing". They are asking for help in locating them. Most of them were kids who were also outcasts like myself. Why do I get the idea that a class reunion is a reunion of the popular? Maybe I just don't get it. The people on the list were among the most unpopular people at the school. And as Kent and I were eating dinner, I was reading the list of names. As I read through the list, at least one unfortunate incident came to mind for every single name. I'm pretty certain that the people on this list would not want to be found. At any rate, I spent 45 minutes on the internet and found 16 of the 30, just for the sake of curiosity. I figure if they wanted to be found, they would make their location known more easily.
I haven't honestly decided if I will be going or not. If I do, I will be going back to Idaho a month later for a vacation. I think that might be a little too much Idaho for me in one decade. I should be fair though. People can change for the better and it's no secret to anyone that kids can be very cruel. In my mind at least, I would be confronting my demons by meeting with some of them.
Update: April 29, 2004
All I wanted to do was be open about who I am and let other students know that if they elect me president I'll welcome and accept diversity and a variety of ideas. I'm ready to fight for the rights of students at my school, but I didn't expect to have to fight for my own rights first. - Jarred Gamwell
My friend Jon told me about this story in email. I read it last night and was really blown away by it. I am also very proud of this young man. He's only 17 years old, but displays amazing courage. If this is the character of our young gay men and women, I think the future is looking up.
It is good to see so many gay high school kids being open these days who let their peers see them as equals. Things were a bit different when I went to high school. If I had done that, I would have been strung up for sure.
This is the story of Jared Gamwell, a 17-year-old junior who hopes to become an English teacher. He attends James Baxter Hunt, Jr. High School in Wilson, North Carolina, and he is running for senior class president. To help with his election efforts, he put up two posters on April 20.
On Tuesday, April 20, Jarred put up some campaign posters, as all the candidates are allowed to do, and went to his Honors Band class. When his class ended, Jarred discovered two of the posters -- one with the slogan “Queer Eye for Hunt High” and another reading “Gay Guys Know Everything!” -- had been taken down. Jarred went to school administrators and discovered that it was Principal Bill Williamson who had ordered the removal of the posters.
The next day, Jarred met with Williamson and asked why the posters were taken down. The principal refused to answer, so Jarred left a list of questions about why the posters had been removed and asked for a response in writing. Williamson let Jarred take the posters when he left. On Thursday, Jarred asked again, but Williamson again refused to answer any questions about the incident, telling Jarred that principals don't have to explain their actions to students. No other candidates’ posters have been taken down by school officials.
This prompted a response from the ACLU asking that Hunt High School do two things to correct its violation of Jarred’s rights:
Permit Jarred to put the two posters back up immediately
Allow Jarred to convey the messages that were kept from the student body and talk about the censorship that has taken place in his campaign speech, scheduled along with the other candidates for tomorrow afternoon.
This seems to me to be a very clear case of discrimination, not because Jarred happens to be gay (and I of course am very sympathetic to what it's like to be discriminated against on that basis), but because he wasn't treated equally to his peers. His posters were the only posters that were taken down. All of the other competitor's posters remained intact.
Principal Bill Williamson refused to give Jarred an answer to why his posters were taken down, telling Jarred that principals don't have to explain their actions to students. Fair enough. But the principal should be trying to set an example of fairness to all students and not be a symbol of bigotry. The fact that Jarred was singled out when his peers were not targeted demands an answer from that principal!
As it turns out, Jarred lost in court. On April 27, after ACLU went to court seeking an injunction forcing the posters back up, the court denied the motion without explanation. Superior Court Judge Dwight Cranford issued the decision after 40 minutes of arguments by both sides.
But did Jarred really lose this case? I don't think so. He may have lost in court, but his determination to seek justice and ultimately being denied justice speaks volumes about the process of seeking equality and fairness in this country.
Jarred wants to be a teacher some day. I think that he has already started his career as a teacher. He has taught valuable lessons to his peers and I'm sure has given the teachers, the principal, and perhaps even Judge Dwight Cranford, who couldn't even tell Jarred why he didn't deserve equal consideration, something to think about.
First my principal took down my posters without explaining why, and now this judge has ruled against me, also without explaining why, so of course I'm disappointed. But the support I got from other students at my school today about this was amazing. People cheered for me in the halls and students who have never spoken to me came up to tell me how great they think it is that I'm fighting this. - Jarred Gamwell
Story also covered over on morons.org.
This was the full letter from the ACLU to Principal Bill Williamson at Hunt High School:
April 26, 2004
By Facsimile
Principal Bill Williamson
James Baxter Hunt Jr. High School
4559 Lamm Road
Wilson, North Carolina 27893
Fax: 252-399-7897Re: Jarred Gamwell
Dear Principal Williamson:
I am writing on behalf of Jarred Gamwell, a junior at Hunt High School, regarding the censorship of posters he displayed as part of his campaign for president of the Student Government Association (“SGA”).
This weekend we finally made a decision to upgrade our digital camera. I have a Sony digital camera. It does a decent job, at 4 megapixels. But in the last year, I've become somewhat dissatified at the results. I think it's because I'm getting much better at taking digital photos, and I'm really pushing the cababilities of the camera.
So, this weekend we purchased a Nikon D70 (pictured left), along with an obscene number of add-ons like the zoom lens. It's going to take me a couple of months to really appreciate all the subtlties that this camera has to offer. It's an amazing camera.
"If I were Hispanic, Gay, Black or Asian, would you still be friends with me? Everyone is different. End the hate."
That was the slogan on the T-shirts that Maria Rosenberg and Gary McLain wore to their New Jersey high school. The school responded by suspending the students for two days.
After the American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey got involved, the suspensions were dropped and the student's records were expunged. (source)
Follow-up story
After two days of absence, Gary McLain Jr.'s return to school yesterday felt like a victory. "You would have thought I came home from a war," McLain said. "I got like a hero's welcome."
The junior at Pinelands Regional High School in Little Egg Harbor was suspended along with Maria Rosenberg for shirts they wore that read, "If I were" on the front, and "gay would you still be friends with me?" on the back. The back also read: "Everyone is different. End the hate."
Other students wore several similar shirts, which used the words "Asian," "Hispanic" or "Black" in place of "gay" but apparently were not suspended. (source)
Isn't it interesting that the students who wore similar shirts without the word "gay" on them did not get suspended?
Effort to remove pro-gay marriage judges
It amazes me how stupid and short sighted some people are. How many idiots does it take to elect a moron representative? Emile Goguen, a Representative from Massachusetts, is planning to file legislation to oust the justices who ruled in favor of making the state recognize marriage for gay couples. I guess if you don't like how they interpret the law, you now replace them.
A group that opposes gay marriage has enlisted the help of a state legislator in a long-shot attempt to remove the four justices of the state's high court who ruled that banning gay marriage is unconstitutional.
Democratic state Rep. Emile J. Goguen told The Boston Globe that he planned to file legislation to oust the justices on Tuesday, even though he is the measure's only sponsor.
He sees the bill as a way to pressure members of the Supreme Judicial Court to reconsider their 4-3 decision.
I know that our democracy isn't perfect. It's mainly because people like Rep. Goguen are trying to use their authority to change the rulings from the court. It makes me sick the way they abuse their power and nothing was a better example of this than watching the legislature of Massachusetts try to wrangle out of the decision of the court. Even now, Mass. Governor Mitt Romney is trying to use a law written in 1913 against gay marriage, knowing full well that the law was addressing a completely different issue.
Then we have our own President ("Moron High Leader") who calls the justices "activist judges" and calls for an amendment to the Constitution to stop all judges from ruling that discrimination against gays is wrong. Right now, it's not pleasant to hear and have to endure what these bigots are trying to do, but I will tell you this; history will not look favorably on these individuals. History will reflect on these people as being short sighted, putting their own wishes ahead of their elected office, and failing to represent all the people. That's the main reason that I take the time and energy to talk about these people. I want the record to be there and as long as I live, I want this information to expose them for what they are, even if I have to do it one bigot at a time.
I've been a bit under the weather lately so I haven't been on line much. I'm feeling a bit better now and thought I'd check in and see what was happening in the world. You ever have times when you just wanted to shut everything out and not worry about it anymore for awhile? Well, that's where I've been for the last week. I'm hoping that next week will be better.
Zanibar bans gay couples
I wrote a few days ago about what's going on in the East African island of Zanibar. The Zanibar parliament passed a law outlawing homosexuality. Gay men can be sentenced for up to 25 years for being in same-sex relationships and lesbians can be sentences for seven years. Now, of course, they are banning gay tourists. It's messed up.
Cirque Du Soleil Pays $600,000 To End Gay HIV Case
It's hard to believe in this day and age that we still have this kind of discrimination against people with HIV. Maybe there's more discrimination out there than I realize.
Cucick was fired by the world famous acrobatic circus last year, shortly after it found out he was HIV-positive even though Cusick had informed Cirque's own doctor before he began rehearsals of his status and despite the doctor's appraisal he was in good health and posed no risk.
In firing him Cusick was told by Cirque du Soleil management that because he has HIV he is a "known safety hazard".
The suit was filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission alleging discrimination in violation of the people with disabilities act.
Oklahoma voters to decide gay marriage ban
There are more and more states trying to pass constitutional amendments against gay couples from getting married.
You know, there's a lot of irony in this. Not so long ago, straight society said things about our community that was not that flattering. They said that part of being gay was the inability to form and keep lasting relationships. I knew at the time that it was bullshit of course, but I was hoping that there would be some way to prove to them that it was bullshit. So now, there are so many gay couples who want to get married. You could say that we called their bluff, and they fell like a house of cards. Now that we see marriage as a real possibility, many of us want that for our relationships and our lives. Society just doesn't know how to deal with it.
In wishing that gays should be more committed to each other, society should remember an old saying and heed it: Be careful what you ask for, you may just get it.
In the 2003 Harrison Poll, 84 percent of adults said they believed in miracles
69 percent said they believed in hell
68 percent believed in the devil
51 percent believed in ghosts
31 percent believed in astrology. (source)
Some Nebraska Families Pull Kids From Orlando 'Gay Days' Band Trip (story).
They are from Nebraska.... what'd you expect? All I can say is, when I was traveling from California to Connecticut, I wasted no time getting across "middle America". Their attitudes scare me.
This is a really cool story about one young man who is straight, who is confronting bigotry. His mother is in a long-term relationship with another woman.
I know this happens a lot. People don't realize it, but there are a lot of Matthew Shepard's out there. Some are lucky enough to survive being attacked or escape. Unfortunately for this young man, he never survived his attackers brutal attack. He was only 23.
DURHAM, N.C. - Three men, one of them a high school athlete, were indicted Monday on charges of kidnapping, robbing and killing a Franklinton man and dumping his body into the Eno River two months ago. [...]
Taylor, Epps and Maiden are accused of luring Sean Ethan Owen, 23, to Durham through an Internet chat line and cell phone conversations.
According to Black, Owen was led to believe a marijuana transaction or homosexual liaison would take place, but the suspects actually intended to steal his car. Owen reportedly was shot twice in the head, beaten, strangled and then thrown into the Eno River at Old Farm City Park. (story)
The bottom line is, don't go anywhere with someone you don't know. It's unfortunate that it has to be that way, but it's just too unsafe out there and more people than not still feel that it's perfectly fine to do these things to us, at least in the majority of the country.
I thought this was an interesting letter from Sonoma, CA. on gay marriage.
Same-sex relationships also stay together longer than straight relationships. Darren Spedale, a law and business student from Stanford University, stated that 17 percent of gay partnerships ended in divorce, whereas straight relationships had a 46 percent divorce rate. [...]
A good saying to remember is this one: Understanding is the first step toward acceptance. If you are one of those in-the-closet homophobes who cries in relief when you find a Playboy under your son's bed, I have only one thing to say to you: Get to know some of these people who are swarming to the San Francisco City Hall to be allowed a right that they deserve. (source)
The 1913 Massachusetts law has recently been the focus of much scrutiny. They law states that Massachusetts cannot issue marriage licenses to couples if it is illegal for that couple to marry where they reside. In other words, if you are a gay couple visiting Massachusetts, and happen to live in Ohio, Massachusetts would not be able to issue a marriage license to you, because Ohio has in place a Defense of Marriage Act, making gay marriage illegal.
The law was created to block interracial marriages that, at the time, were illegal in many states. When the US Supreme Court ruled in 1967 that banning such marriages is unconstitutional, the law was meaningless.... until now.
Now, the Governor of Massachusetts and people like him, would like the law to live again to stop gay marriages. Deja vu? This seems to be a law of convenience to be used to stop any marriage that you don't approve of.
This is a law that probably would have been wiped away a long time ago had anyone had any inkling that it might someday enjoy a second life. After all, interracial marriage hasn't been a burning issue in Massachusetts in a long, long time. It's hypocritical to invoke it now, out of sheer convenience, in the service of a completely different cause. (source)
The controversy here is that Provincetown clerks (and now Worcester) have stated that they will ignore the law. Of course, since we seem as a society to never learn from history, this issue will only be resolved when the US Supreme Court makes a similar ruling in the future that preventing gay couples from entering into civil marriage violates the concept of equal protection and opportunities.
David J. Rushford is probably on the right side of history, if not on the right side of Massachusetts law. Rushford is the city clerk of Worcester. He says he has no plans to ask whether gay couples seeking marriage licenses plan to become Massachusetts residents, a question he says is not asked of straight couples seeking to tie the knot. Rushford says clerks should not be asked to function as "the marriage police."
At issue is an odious law dating to 1913 that states couples whose marriages would be invalid in their home states are not eligible to receive marriage licenses in Massachusetts.
After decades of irrelevance, the law has resurfaced as gay couples from other states ponder whether to come to Massachusetts to marry.
On March 20, 2004, I wrote about the commissioners from Dayton, Tennessee who passed a measure making it illegal to live in Dayton if you are gay. A few days later, after talking with the country attorney, they rescinded their action, saying that it was all a "misunderstanding".
Now they are blaming the media for lying. In response, Annette M. Gould, Publisher of The Watts Bar Lake Observer, is stating that the commissioners are lying about saying that the media is not being truthful.
Let me be perfectly clear. THE MEDIA IS NOT lying, BUT THE Rhea County Commission is.
The transcript of the recording of the Rhea County Commission's March 16 meeting is perfectly clear. They voted to ban homosexuals in Rhea County. They did not vote to back a state move to ban homosexual marriages. They were completely sure of what the issue was and THEY LAUGHED after they did it.
Their own words are choking them no matter what spin they try to adopt.
In this issue of the Watts Bar Lake Observer I am including a copy of the petition to make them resign.
Other links about this
Rhea County Website
Tenn. county backtracks on banning gays
May 8 Gay Day in Rhea County
Gay pride event planned in county that tried to ban homosexuality
Rhea Gay Day Organizer Says Event To Boost Dayton Economy
Gay Day In Rhea County Could Lead To Gay Bashings
May 20, 2004 - Metro Pulse Online - Politicians tried to define Rhea County by banning gays, but their definition didn’t match reality
Saturday, May 8, 2004 - First Rhea County Gay Day
Gay Day shows gay pride in Rhea County
06/10/2004 - Rhea Co. commission to consider gay marriage ban again
06/14/2004 - Rhea County Drafts New Gay Marriage Resolution
I'll tell you what. To be fair to the commissioners, I'm going to post part of the transcript from the actual meeting here. You decide if the media made this whole thing up, or if the commissioners got caught with their pants down.
PORTION OF TRANSCRIPT - RHEA COUNTY COMMISSION MEETING MARCH 16, 2004
FUGATE: Number two. I called the attorney today and tried to get a way to word this and he told me I couldn’t say it the way it should be said. But what it is pertaining to is these homosexual marriages that is going on across our country. I would like to make a motion that those kind of people cannot live in Rhea County or abide in Rhea County. If they are caught in Rhea County living together as such – that they be tried for crimes against nature.
I've heard of dysfunctional relationships, but this takes the cake. Apparently, Mike Danton, that's right, the professional hockey player, tried to put out a hit on his male lover, when that lover threatened to leave him.
According to documents, Danton sought the help of a 19 year old friend, Katie Wolfmeyer, to find a hit man to kill a man. Danton and Wolfmeyer are charged with conspiring to set up a murder.
The FBI said Danton wanted the intended victim murdered at his St. Louis apartment in a way that made it look as though he was a thief who had broken in.
When the FBI went to the intended victim's home, the man told investigators that he was Danton's lover, and they lived together. He told agents "that he and Danton had a severe argument on Tuesday, April 13, 2004 concerning Danton's promiscuity and use of alcohol."
The man told investigators that during the argument he "threatened to leave Danton," the FBI court papers claim. [...]
"Danton explained that he felt backed into a corner and felt that the acquaintance was going to leave him. Danton did not want to allow the acquaintance to leave him, and therefore decided to have him murdered."
I read this amazing letter from a man who apparently is the uncle of Dan Smetanick, an Allegheny Township (Pennsylvania) supervisor since 2000. Dan Smetanick submitted a letter to the editor and that letter was printed on March 15, 2004 (his letter is printed at the end of this entry). This is a response to that letter from his uncle.
It's nice to see that there are decent people in the world who will confront hatred and bigotry, even if it means going up against a family member. Most people that I know would not do that.
Reader's homosexual beliefs caused grief for family
Dan Smetanick's March 18 letter on homosexuals was outrageous and annoying. It created a serious situation with his opening question, "Who let the pigs in?" Perhaps the letters should not have been published in your paper, but letters are letters and just a matter of speech.
He addressed gay people as sexual deviates, homos, queers, bigamists, etc. because of their personal beliefs, lifestyles and preferences, which he would deny them. They have suffered enough criticism, pain, remorse, and certainly ridicule and exposure. They deserve a full life, security, happiness with peace of mind, but of course he wouldn't approve of their desires and wishes.
He caused an enormous amount of grief in his family. I know, because he is my nephew by marriage.
There is hope for Daniel R. Smetanick. Our Almighty Father has forgiven us sinners at one time or another. As a youngster, I was taught these words when God was dying on the cross, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
Daniel T. Tomaszewski
Buffalo Township
This was Dan Smetanick's letter that was published March 15.
Deviants make mockery of marriage
Who let the pigs in? The government has spent millions of dollars to prosecute Martha Stewart over a $45,000 stock trade and has let a couple of thousand homosexuals insult the basic family values of our country by letting them violate marital laws. Watching these sexual deviants hugging and kissing gives a normal person an overwhelming desire to regurgitate. That behavior even violates basic animal instincts and is totally disgusting.
Liberals have drawn a line in the sand that may result in bloodshed before it is over. They are claiming civil rights permits these queer unions. That is an insult to compare their position to the real civil rights oppression suffered by the black community. Using their theory, bigamy should be allowed. Some other fruitcakes may have a strong desire to marry a farm animal.
A federal marriage amendment to the Constitution will prevent liberal states, such as Massachusetts, from requiring other states to recognize these jokes as legal unions. We cannot let four, half-wit liberal judges affect businesses in Pennsylvania and elsewhere in this country. As a businessman, I wouldn't even hire a male applicant who is so effeminate that he needs to wear ear rings. Accordingly, I would die before paying benefits to someone's homosexual lover.
This is different... our community discriminating against straight people. This took place at a gay hotel in Key West, Florida when the hotel manager turned away three straight couples, telling them, "We don't want you here."
KEY WEST, Fla. -- Three heterosexual couples said they were turned away from a hotel in this gay-friendly tourist destination because of their sexual orientation, which would violate city law.
The six were vacationing with a gay couple and had reservations at Big Ruby's in downtown Key West when the three straight couples were turned away.
"The manager literally said, 'We don't want you here,"' said Jim Pirih, who had vacationed at Big Ruby's last year with his partner, Jason Williams.
The group, most of whom are from San Diego, was already settled in their rooms Wednesday when the manager told the straight couples they would have to leave, citing a policy of not allowing heterosexuals on the property, Pirih said.
"He said he had to appeal to the majority, and the majority of guests wouldn't want straight people there," Pirih said.
The six were allowed to stay one night, but had to check out Thursday morning and were told they wouldn't be compensated for the inconvenience, Pirih said.
On the one hand, I want to ask them, "So, how did that make you feel when they threw you out and told you that you weren't wanted? Did it make you feel like garbage? Did it make you feel... second class? Did it make you wonder if life was really the great thing that everyone else seemed to think it is?"
But I realize that the argument and anger is misplaced. This is exactly what we go through all the time. We will never know how many jobs we have been denied, how many of us have been beaten for being gay (since most police authorities don't report, much less care about crimes against gays), and of course, how many of us may never see marriage. Even now, California is mulling over the issue of nullifying the 4,000 marriages performed for gay couples.
Those are different issues from what the straight couples in Florida went through, but they all have one thing in common. They are all the products of discrimination and bigotry, and that is wrong. Some would argue that it's nice for a change to have straights see what it is that we go through. I would say that is very short sighted. You can't show that something is wrong by doing it yourself. You can't fight evil by doing evil.
Discrimination is wrong and should be challenged. If I had been there, I would have told the manager of the gay hotel the same thing. I do understand one aspect of where the hotel manager was coming from when he said that he "had to appeal to the majority, and the majority of guests wouldn't want straight people there".
Fair enough, I can understand that. Gay people spend most of their lives feeling the discrimination of straights. When they go on vacation and stay at a gay hotel, they want to feel that they can be themselves for just a little while, what ever that is to them. It may mean that they want to be able to be totally open about showing affection to those they love, without worrying about judgment.
But, I think there is more at stake than personal comfort. If we bow to something that is wrong, then we do wrong and are guilty of exactly the same thing that others are doing to us. We have to be better than that, and I think we can be.
How would you feel as a human being? - a letter by Megan Fadgen who attends Assumption College (published 04/19/2004)
Put yourself in the shoes of a young homosexual who wants to take his or her relationship to that next level of commitment. How would you feel if someone told you and your significant other that you couldn't get married? That your love wasn't valid, that it was "perverse" or "wrong," or even worse, "a sin." How would you feel as a human being?
This is a problem that homosexuals have been facing everyday in our country. By denying them the right to marry, a right that most of us (including myself) take for granted, the law is segregating our country and acting contrary to the values on which our nation supposedly was built. We are all supposed to be treated equally and supplied with the same opportunities as every other American citizen, but we are not. Barring homosexuals from the right to marry is just a legal act of discrimination.
Lately, it is impossible to go through the day without coming across something in regards to the issue of same-sex marriage. Both the opponents and proponents are full of fever in their arguments, and as we are bombarded with both sides' reasoning, it is easy to forget that what is being discussed is not only an intangible issue concerning legal rights or the use of a word, but it is about people and families.
About a month ago I was looking through the Telegram & Gazette and came across the photograph of a middle-aged woman holding up a sign that read: Homos Need Not Apply. I wonder if while she sat at her kitchen table diligently scrawling these words she ever once thought of the emotional impact it might have on another person. But this sign is tame when compared to the brightly colored "God hates fags" sign at Matthew Shepherd's funeral. Did that person stop, even once, to consider how the grieving family would feel to walk away from their son's burial and be greeted by this?
Some people argue that civil unions are fair and just. People contend that civil unions are practically the same thing as marriage, just under the pretense of a different term. That is not true, though. Civil union and marriage are not two completely equal institutions. For instance, a married couple can have their marriage legally recognized by the Federal Government, meaning that if they are married in New Hampshire they will still be seen as a valid, married couple in Oregon. Couples joined under a civil union are only seen as such under state law. Therefore, they may reap the meager benefits of a civil union in Vermont (the only state that currently provides civil unions), but if they care to move to any other state they are not seen as a legally recognized couple. So, in other words, they are as good as married as long as they remain within certain physical boundaries. Is that really equal?
I came across this article about two gay waiters in New York who are suing their employer for harassment. It's a strange case.
NEW YORK, April 14 (UPI) -- Two gay waiters in New York are charging their former employer with harassment for sexual orientation, the New York Post reported Wednesday. [...]
Butler said he was also harassed by Town's general manager, Warren Anker, who he claims wanted to have a sexual relationship with him.
O'Brien said Rawlinson also attacked him from behind with wine bottles, saying things like, "Is it big enough for you? Maybe you're used to magnum size."
Well, you get the general idea. It seems like something weird happens to me almost every time I go to New York City. I went there several years ago with my friend Austin, who was looking for some camera (I think) to buy. We ended up going to several camera/electronic-type stores on Fifth Avenue. I didn't really think there was anything wrong with them. I figured that if they were on Fifth Avenue, they would be ok.
While Austin was looking around, I browsed the store. I wasn't interested in buying anything and was basically killing time while Austin found what he was looking for. He eventually did that, but the item he wanted cost around $350, which was more than he wanted to pay.
The clerk then pointed over my way and told Austin, "Well, if your friend will go to the basement with me, I'll knock off $100. Austin said, "ummmm no". The clerk then said, "ok, $150." Austin told me what he said. I naively asked, "oh, does he have more stuff in the basement?". Austin then explained to me that the guy wanted sex in exchange for the "deal". There was also another clerk in the store who said, "I'm not gay, but I just watch."
Suddenly, I felt a bit dirty. I turned to Austin and said, "I'm leaving!". With that we left. We rode back to Connecticut on the train. On the way back, Austin asked me if something was wrong. I was being quiet. I said I didn't really want to talk about it. I just wanted to get home where things were more predictable to me.
In my browsing about the web, I also spotted this article that gives just another reason for gay marriage. There is so much we are missing out on with all the rights given to marriage. If marriage was allowed for gay couples, this never would have happened. Also, gay couples are now suing the State of Florida for marriage rights. And Spain is about to allow gay marriages, thanks to the new Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero.
You know, I really do try to take the high road. I do try not to lose my cool about issues and resort to what most people would call "name calling". But for me, it's time to call this jerk what he is. The governor of Massachusetts is a Grade A, Class 1 HOMOPHOBIC BIGOT (bigot; n. One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ - The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition).
I'm sick and tired of him making lame ass excuses for why he doesn't agree with gay marriage, and why he thinks that gay marriage is bad for the state, and that he wants to keep gay marriage from spreading to the rest of the states.
You know Governor, it wasn't that long ago that members of the Mormon Religion (your religion) advocated and encouraged polygamy. Over time, the practice was outlawed. You are a fine one to talk. All you can do is use your position to espouse your personal beliefs to push your own agenda.
From what I have seen, the people of Massachusetts are basically fair-minded people. How they ever came to elect a moron like you is quite beyond me. Maybe it's to show that people can overcome bigotry and prejudice when it comes to minority issues, despite what their governor believes.
You sir have an obligation to represent THE PEOPLE, and whether you like it or not, that includes citizens who just happen to be... homosexual. It's time for you to put aside your personal prejudices and start doing your job, or resign from your position.
BOSTON - Gov. Mitt Romney said Thursday he will seek emergency legislation aimed at forestalling gay marriages, which are scheduled to become legal in Massachusetts on May 17.
The legislation would allow Romney to appoint a special counsel who would ask the state's highest court to delay its ruling on gay marriage. The governor said it would allow him "to protect the integrity of the constitutional process."
"Fundamentally, I believe this is a decision which is so important it should be made by the people," Romney said. "I would like the right to be able to represent the people and my own office before the courts in Massachusetts."
More Information...
Massachusetts House Speaker Backs Away from Gay Marriage Fight
Romney warns clerks to heed old law
Marriage licenses will be issued to out-of-state gays
This isn't any surprise to most of you who have been reading the news for the last six months. For me, there are different ways that I look at all the awful stuff happening in this country that is eroding the freedom that gay people, gay couples, gay parents, and transgendered people have left.
On one level, I'm disgusted that people who say that they are Christian can do so many hateful things. Here are a few examples:
Kentucky Lawmakers Pass Amendment to ban gay Marriage
Oklahoma anti-gay adoption amendment approved
Iowa Senate rejects gay man for school post
Gay Hate Leaflets Flood College Campus in Kentucky
Transgender teen was 'executed'
And that's what came out in the news just today. It's frightening. At some point, I would think that truth and justice would prevail and that these people would be able to see what they are doing to other human beings. But fear and ignorance are powerful enemies, and they are everywhere.
Today, the California Supreme Court was wondering how it should treat the 4,000 same-sex couples who were wed before last month's halt to the spree. The justices asked for a briefing for the first time on whether they should invalidate the same-sex marriages San Francisco City Hall performed here if they rule Mayor Gavin Newsom did not have the authority to issue the same-sex marriage licenses.
According to a new report released by the Human Rights Campaign, an unprecedented number of anti-gay measures swept state legislatures in some 44 states this year, evidence of a growing anti-gay legislative backlash against gay and lesbian civil rights. More than 200 separate pieces of gay legislation were put forward in 2003-2004. Gay- related marriage legislation was taken up in 37 state houses.
"We are not fighting for our lifestyles, we are fighting for our lives." On April 15, activists for gay rights will be standing in front of post offices across the country to protest the discrimination in the tax code against same gender couples who cannot get married. From Washington state to Texas, from Massachusetts to Florida, from States all over the nation and in every city in California, activists will be demanding same-sex marriage. For a complete list of cities and states go to http://www.dontamend.com -- tax day protests. "The government takes our tax money but then refuses to treat us as equals before the law," says Robin Tyler, executive director of DontAmend.com - The Equality Campaign. "We are protesting at post offices around the country to highlight the extra pain we feel on tax day when the federal government forces many of us in committed relationships to enter into a legal fiction of being single -- when we are actually couples, many in long-term relationships. We demand equal respect for our relationships, and are angry that the government which taxes us refuses to grant us the marriage rights that others take for granted."
Today is spaghetti day in Eagleville with the group of guys that we've met. Actually, you can have anything that you want, but Wednesday is all you can eat spaghetti for $4.00. It's become so popular with the group, that the restaurant calls Wednesday "Gay Spaghetti Night". We didn't go today. Today was rough for us and we are tired, so we've decided to stay in tonight. I suppose it's just as well. It's still raining here.
Tomorrow is tax day, as we all know. The Human Rights Campaign has a suggestion for all us. We should all send letters to our representatives in Congress about the unfairness in the tax laws for gay citizens. Here's a bit of a sample:
Dear Representative/Senator__________:
I just paid _________ in taxes to the federal government for 2003, and am happy to be a tax-paying citizen. However, while I pay taxes and work just as hard as my neighbor, I am treated differently under the law. Please don’t let this unfair treatment make its way into the United States Constitution.....
They have samples for same-sex partners, a single gay person without a partner, a person with an opposite-sex partner, and a straight ally. The letters can be found on the HRC website.
Hummm, I was finalizing my vacation awhile back and wondering just where the best place would be for a nice one week vacation around the first of June.
I came up with Ogunquit, Maine or the Tanzanian island of Zanzibar. I chose Ogunquit, and lucky for me. This was on the web this morning! Of course, maybe this doesn't apply to tourists? It's kind of like saying, "It's illegal to be black.", to me at least.
DAR ES SALAAM, Tanzania, April 14 (UPI) -- The Tanzanian island of Zanzibar passed a bill Wednesday to make homosexuality illegal.
The island's parliament passed a bill that mandates 25 years in prison for those in gay relationships, the BBC reported. Lesbians will get 7-year sentences. Those found guilty of sodomizing minors will be given life sentences. The tourist island is overwhelmingly Muslim.
The attorney general of the island said the bill was needed to prevent Zanzibar's culture from being corrupted. The bill still has to be approved by President Amani Karume, who is expected to give it his assent.
Both the ruling party and the main opposition supported the bill.
Now that I actually feel like I can type again, I thought that I would check in. It seems that I did some damage to my left shoulder muscle somehow. At any rate, I never realized just how all the muscles are intricately connected to each other.
One thing that I can't do is put my wallet in my back left pocket. My arm won't go back that far. The first couple of nights, I took codeine so I could sleep, but you can't keep taking that stuff.
I've thought a bit about it, and I am open to allowing other authors on the blog. It will still be "Bill and Kent's" site of course, but a blog is a compilation of writings. I'm open to the writings of others, no matter how diverse it is. It has to be legal of course, and tasteful, but doesn't have to agree with me at all.
I've posted more photos. I put up some photos of couples who have gotten married in California, and Oregon. I've also added some albums on our friends (people I admire) and foes (people who are, how can I say this... less than friendly to our community).
I'm also going to bring back the forums. I had them for awhile, and it didn't really go anywhere. But, they are there if anyone would like to get into a big hairy discussion on some topic. It is an open forum. That means, even though it's part of my site, it is a free speech zone. If there are things stated that I don't agree with or even like, that's fine. Of course, I will say that. ;)
To participate in the forum, you register and add your content. Hopefully, others will join you in your discussion. But, I won't monitor it. It's simply there if anyone wants to use it. Just click on the Forums image to go there.
It's been busy in the news as usual. I watched, Condoleezza Rice testify before the 9/11 Commission. Kent and I think that there is some big secret that she is hiding and doesn't want anyone to know about. She was very defensive in her arguments and I kept thinking from her demeanor that there was just something she wasn't saying.
Iraq is going to hell. At this point, I don't think there is anything that will satisfy anyone. If we leave, it will fall apart and fall to the strongest war lord. If we stay to create a "democratic society", will it be a democratic society that we will like? Will there even be free elections? And, at what price? It's going to go downhill from here, with more of our soldiers coming home in body bags. This is the thing that we seem to have a problem with. I can understand that we want to liberate their country and their people from a ruthless dictator, but we assume that they want the same democracy that we have. I think it's a stretch to assume that. It's a completely different societal structure and if the deaths of all of our soldiers have taught us anything, it should be that their wishes and our wishes are two different things.
Some cool things have happened on the marriage front. I want to thank William over at Designer Blog for making a notation to us. Thanks William. It's awesome that Provincetown is issue marriage licenses to gay couples, despite the 1913 law.
PROVINCETOWN - The town clerk will issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples from other states next month, despite the attorney general's opinion that such a practice is illegal.
Provincetown officials say the state has failed to prepare towns adequately for the prospect of gay marriages beginning May 17. They argue that prohibiting out-of-state same-sex couples from marrying in Provincetown is yet another form of discrimination.
"We have received no guidance whatsoever from the state," said Provincetown town counsel John Giorgio. "Therefore, we wanted to make sure nothing was done to perpetuate discrimination."
Provincetown is the first Bay State community to say it will reject Attorney General Thomas F. Reilly's opinion of an obscure 1913 Massachusetts law. The 1913 law was originally written to block interracial marriages, but Reilly has said it would also prohibit couples who live outside of Massachusetts from being married here because their home states don't recognize same-sex marriages.
I'm not sure that Kent and I would even fall under the 1913 law since Connecticut does not define marriage being between a man and a woman and the state has no Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
If we do go to Provincetown and get married, what happens when we return home? Our state won't honor the marriage, I don't believe. I suppose I would have to see a lawyer about that, but without suing my state, why would they honor our marriage?
Apparently, things are heating up once again in New Paltz. There are other ministers now performing marriages.
In Massachusetts, they will be training clerks soon on issuing marriage licenses to gay couples, while Governor Romney tries to figure out what options are left to him to stop the marriages from happening.
BOSTON - The state is preparing to train city and town clerks on issuing marriage licenses to gay couples, but that doesn't mean the governor has given up on finding a way to stop issuing them, a spokesman for Gov. Mitt Romney said Sunday.
Eric Fehrnstrom said the state anticipates holding training sessions for the clerks soon, but the Republican governor was still looking at his "legal options."
Poll: Most Americans Oppose Gay Marriage
And the point is?
I assume they are insinuating that we should go by polls to determine who in society is equal in terms of what rights different citizens receive.
What a fucked up way to look at people. You are equal or you are not. It's that simple.
On a different topic, we did yard work all day long. God am I sore. I have muscles I didn't even know I had.
It's 2004, not 1980. You would think by now that people have more to think about than some gay guy appointed to a state school board was going to "promote a 'gay agenda' in public schools". What are they so afraid of? That some gay guy is going to make all their kids queers?
They seriously need to get over it and GET A LIFE. I guess you could say, "Well, it IS Iowa that we are talking about here", but I would like to believe that in 2004 people weren't so damn stupid. (story)
I was blown away by this mosaic of President Bush. It is made up of small pictures of those who have died in the war with Iraq. I want to thank Clack for making me aware of this from a posting on Clack. The picture was originally made available on the American Leftist.
The mosaic is entitled "The War President". The full version can be viewed in my photo album. Note that without broadband, this will be slow as the image is large.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin.
Apparently, prison life isn't agreeing so well with Russell Henderson, one of the men convicted of the murder of Matthew Shepard five years ago. Both he and Aaron McKinney were each given two life terms. According to the prosecutor, that would ensure that neither man would see freedom again.
Now, Mr. Henderson wants his sentence reduced because he says he wasn't the one who actually killed Matthew. He simply tied him to the fence so that Aaron McKinney could deliver the 18 blows to Matthew's head with the butt of a gun. Mr. Henderson then watched while Mr. McKinney beat Matthew to death. I read a report from the examiner at the scene who stated that the ropes around Matthew's wrists were tied so tight that they had trouble cutting them off.
They are both animals and they deserve exactly what the got. My only hope is that they think of Matthew every day for the rest of their lives.
It's a strange set of affairs with all the marriage issues floating about. I won't comment myself on this, but was a bit confused about these two reports. I understand the gay couples suing the state of NY to get married. Heck, we have discussed the same thing here in Connecticut.
What confuses me is the second report from Canada, which starts the report saying, "The majority of homosexuals are opposed to same-sex "marriage" and a few want to see the institution of marriage abolished altogether, according to an online poll of a homosexual-themed Canadian magazine."
What do you think? I don't know... every gay couple I've talked to is fighting for marriage. But, I do understand that marriage isn't for everyone. There are "open" relationships in the gay community, but can't the same thing be said for the straight community?
Gays and lesbians sue New York over marriage
The American Civil Liberties Union announced Wednesday it had filed a lawsuit in Albany, New York, seeking marriage equality for 13 same-sex couples in an attempt to put an end to a gay and lesbian "stigma of inferiority."
Majority of homosexuals oppose same-sex 'marriage'
"Fear exists in the gay community that marriage will be used as means to clean up its overt, institutionalized sex culture," Raphael wrote in a Globe and Mail editorial. "There are practical reasons for gays to adopt a different and equal partnership model. It is not uncommon for gay men, for instance, to discuss whether a relationship should be monogamous."
The poll also found that 11 percent of respondents said homosexuals should refuse "to buy into the heterosexist, oppressive institution of marriage” and 7 percent said homosexuals should “help lead a movement to abolish the institution of marriage."
My, we are a creative bunch aren't we? :-)
"Unapologetically gay" play wins Pulitzer Prize
Playwright Doug Wright has won the 2004 Pulitzer Prize in drama for his one-person show "I Am My Own Wife," about a real-life transgender East German who survived both the Nazi regime and the repressive Communist era.
Porn Thesis Inflames Conservatives
In this year's Campus Outrage Awards, released April 1 by the Collegiate Network, UCSB tied for first place with Yale University as the most outrageous university in the country. The university received the award in response to the October 2003 MultiCultural Center event "F*$%ing with Stereotypes," a discussion led by senior Chicano Studies major Alejandro Juarez as an extension of his senior thesis, titled "Gay Men of Color in Porn." [...]
Juarez' work explored depictions of homosexual men of color in pornographic film, as well as the effects these stereotypes have on male homosexual relationships. Juarez presented to an audience of roughly 100 at the MultiCultural Center on Oct. 27 as part of the MCC's quarter-long "Race Matters" series.
I came across this letter written by a gay teenager. He called himself "dave". There was no link to contact him. I wanted to tell him that I was him, years ago. I was beaten up for being gay. I wanted to end my life and came very close to it. I was in the hospital and remember waking up and being so terribly disappointed because I was still alive. I cried for days.
I remember thinking that my life would be terrible for being homosexual, that I would have no opportunity to make my life better, and that there was no future. I remember feeling nothing but shame for being the way I was. Every damn thing in this letter was me.
Then one day, I was reading the writings of Walt Whitman. I came across something he said that just simply blew me away. It was so simple. He was talking about life, and what it is to be alive. He simply said, "If you can't be yourself, what is the point of being anything at all?". I never forgot that.
I decided that I would be myself, but on my own terms and in my own time. It meant that I had to lie to people for the time being. Some of those people I loved. Some of those people were my family. Some of those people died without ever knowing me. Some I went to school with and was friends with early on in high school. In my senior year, those same friends were the same people who beat me up, took me to a well known place that everyone congregated at outside of town, threw me down on the ground, urinated on me, kicked me, and threw me off an embankment on what we used to call "freezeout hill".
I woke up the next morning in a gully. It took me awhile to realize that the blood I was covered in was my own. I remember crawling for the longest time up a steep hill to try to get to the road. I remember feeling sick like I was going to pass out again on my way up the hill. It seemed like it took forever to reach the road. I got to the road. It took a car an hour to come by. The road I was on was abandoned because of a new highway that was put in. I remember getting home, and mom insisting on going to the hospital for x-rays. I just wanted to go to bed and never get up again. I hurt so bad.
I hate that this letter reminded me of all of that. And I hate that many people still make fun of gay people, because I know that behind all of those jokes, are the same people who threw me down that hill.
But what I really hate is that this young man, so many years later, is still going through the same thing. If it were possible, I would bring him into my home and say, "stay with us and.... be yourself!" I want to put my arms around this young man and tell him, "Yes, it is tough. And yes, there are people who will put you down and who will hurt you. It's unbelievable hard to be gay and to be happy in this world if you are open about who and what you are. You have to surround yourself with people who will accept you for what you are. They will be your family. I am your family." That's what I would say to him.
I don't really know why I'm still here. I was a gay kid in Emmett, Idaho and I was found out in my senior year. It was very possible that I could have ended up like Matthew Shepard. I suppose that's why Matthew's death affected me so strongly. But, whatever the reason, I'm glad I am here now. I escaped Emmett and went to college. I would have gone to any college or anywhere to get away from that place. My life is the best now than it ever has been. It's full and I have so much love in my life. Thank God I have lived to know Kent.
Dave, things can work out. I hope that you give life a big chance and that you don't give up on it. Don't let them win.
dave - 12:15am Feb 4, 2004 EST
I feel miserable. i always have ever since i could remember. i don't have any real friends. sure i may know a lot of people but i can't really consider them my friends. they just like the person who i appear to be. they don't know i'm a fag. i could never let them know. they don't accept those kinds of people. i hate it when they notice someone who they consider looks gay and they insult them. little do they know i'm the one getting torn apart inside every time. all i can do is remain silent and put on a smile. its always been that way throughout highschool. its kind of sad no one has ever gotten to know who i am. even though some may feel that they're close to me there is a distance that they will never know.
I dont really get along with my parents too well either. my parents are very religious. my father has read the entire bible multiple times and believes in God with the utmost intensity. my mother prays several times a day and also has a strong faith. i however do not. being like this has led me to question God's existence. they'd be greatly shocked if they ever discovered i was a 'sinner.' my father would disown me. and my mother would be disappointed. whatever the case it would still be painful to bear. it sucks that my parents can't ever get to know who i am.
I hate being alone. i hate not being able to share things about me to others. i hate having to lie and hide all the time. i hate the fact that its the only choice i have that will offer me a normal life.
Bush says information lacking to stop 9/11 attacks
WASHINGTON -- U.S. President George W. Bush said yesterday he will tell the commission investigating the Sept. 11 attacks his administration lacked the information needed to prevent the terrorists from striking.
Actually, from what I understand, we did have the information. At least, some of us had the information. We just didn't share it with anyone else. Intelligence in this country seems to be like a one of those games I used to play as a child. It's called "dot to dot". Basically, you are given a picture of something. You can't tell what it is, because it's just a series of dots on the page.
As you connect one dot to another, a picture begins to form. Without the lines connecting the dots, it means nothings.
Bush is lying when he says we lacked the information needed to prevent the 9/11 attacks. As President, he should be more accurate, but these days he's too busy simply covering his own ass. The truth is that there were pockets of information in various places. And, it became known later that the FBI and CIA, along with other agencies didn't even talk with each other about such information. There was no effort then to pull together that information to see if the threat was real.
Now, two and one half years after 9/11/2001, they are still not sharing this information. I recall right after 9/11, both agencies were criticized for this. It was planned that we would work out a way for the agencies to share vital information on future threats to our nation. This has still not been done and is still not in place. Furthermore, you hardly ever hear it mentioned in the news anymore.
Now, the President has set a deadline to pull out of Iraq on June 30, 2004. Iraq is far from secure. War lords are bidding for control (with terror attacks against their foes) on a daily basis. Our troops are dieing on a daily basis.
Last night on the News Hour with Jim Lehrer, Sen. Richard Lugar (Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee) and Sen. Joseph Biden (ranking Democrat) both agreed that the June 30th deadline would be a reach. But, they were both angered and concerned that, if the Administration has a plan of withdrawal, it hasn't shared that plan with them.
The thing that really stuck out with me was, both of these men sounded exactly the same in their argument. One, a conservative Republican, the other a Democrat. Yet both were perplexed at the Bush Administration's lack of an apparent plan on how to withdraw from Iraq. Are we just going to leave on June 30th, and to hell with the country and it's people?
I honestly wouldn't put it past Bush. He's made his point. Saddam Heussin is out of power. His vengeance for the embarrassment his father suffered when we first went to Iraq under his father's tenure has been vindicated, at least in his eyes. His mission has been accomplished. To him, the business of the day is on to more important things, such as how to keep gay people from marrying.
At the end of the show, as they always do, The News Hour showed the pictures of our men and women killed that day - there were 11 yesterday. I hope when all is said and done, that we can say they died for something honorable and lasting.
Eight more marines were killed today, average age, 19 years old.
Now don't get too pissed off, but a report from US Newswire detailed the benefits of marriage versus civil unions in economic terms. Part of the report is given below (highlighting is my own).
You can read the entire report here.
On an up note, read about a country who really has it's act together!
From the report:
One of the couples profiled in the report, Donna Triggs and Donna Moore, both 54, pay $2,177 (13 percent) more in each year in state and federal income taxes than a married couple earning the same amount because they cannot file a joint return. The analysis also finds that if Ms. Triggs died as a result of an injury at work, her spouse would receive $884 per week ($45,968 per year, up to a maximum of $207,722) in workers' compensation benefits. Because Ms. Triggs and Ms. Moore cannot now marry, however, Ms. Moore would receive zero workers' compensation benefits. [...]
A new health report on gays and lesbians from Kansas City, MO has been released. The survey was conducted from May through July of 2003 at events, such as the Heartland Pride Festival and AIDS Walk, that attract members of the gay community.
It found that more than 95 percent of those polled considered themselves in good to excellent health. More than 40 percent got at least 30 minutes of exercise several days a week. While 24 percent were obese, that was well below the overall adult obesity level of 34 percent in Kansas City. [...]
But the survey also found 38.4 percent were smokers, which is significantly higher than the national adult smoking rate of 23.1 percent. About 34 percent of gays and 24 percent of lesbians drank to get drunk at least once a month. Stress and depression were common. [...]
The emotional problems many reported in the survey - about a fifth said they felt stressed or depressed almost always or very often - is another recognized concern.
"It's the stress of being stigmatized," said Anthony Silvestre, a University of Pittsburgh researcher on gay health issues. "It's not so much that sexual orientation itself carries health problems, but society's reaction to it."
Most of that sounds like the straight community to me, to be honest. I wouldn't think there would be much difference, other than the depression that comes from being stigmatized. And let me tell you from personal experience, it can be very overwhelming. I believe that most of the depression that I have been treated for in life stems from rejection from family and society.
I know that many people suffer from depression from one thing or another. But, our community is especially hard hit by this disease, especially teens, who are often harassed and beaten because of their orientation. When all you think you have to look forward to is a life of harassment, it's pretty difficult to rise above that.
I took a few days off from posting, for various reasons. It seems that I caught a case of spring fever, and just wanted to get outside and do yard work. But mostly, I was disgusted with events in the news surrounding the Massachusetts ruling, what has happened in Georgia (ok, no surprise there), and other places. I know... it's a process to get to a point where bigots are well.... less bigoted I suppose.
I used to be more moderate and understanding in my thinking. I used to tell myself, that this legislator or that legislator is basically a good person, despite the fact that they are keeping me and my partner from having equal rights with everyone else.
I used to tell myself that being fired for being gay was unjust and unfair, but the people who did it were, at some level, basically good people.
I used to tell myself that there must be some facts that I was missing when a judge would sentence someone convicted of murdering a gay man to two years probation.
Well, I've changed, and you know, I didn't even realize that I had changed. In a nutshell, legislators who choose to keep our civil rights from us are mean spirited bigots, who are evil, shortsighted, and disgusting human beings. The issue is black and white; they are willing to be fair and give us our dignity, or they are not. There really is nothing in between. And, they do all of this hiding behind religious freedom and religious beliefs.
If this exercise in trying to obtain equal civil rights has taught me one thing, it is that religion has been very successful in inserting itself into the civil affairs of citizens, whether they like it or not, and whether they know it or not. We need absolute separation of church and state, across the board.
The Supreme Court is currently battling this as well. It recently came up when a parent (the father) challenged his child having to say "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. The child's mother thought that "under God" should stay. I'd hate to be in that family. The point came up on all the other ways that we have instilled religion into civil affairs, right down to having "In God We Trust" on our currency.
It should all go - EVERY LAST BIT OF IT! ALL OF IT.
Personally, I'm a Christian. I tell you this only to show that I am not a hypocrite. I have no interest in pushing my religious beliefs onto others, and I don't think it's right for others to insist on that as well. In civil affairs, religion should have no bearing on civil arrangements, such as marriage. There should be an absolute separation of church and state. Otherwise, we will always have these biases that cannot be resolved.
On the Massachusetts front, apparently people on both sides of the issue want the recently approved amendment to the state constitution to just go away. Everyone thinks that it stinks. I read this observation over on Designer Blog (April 3rd entry).
The conservatives are annoyed that the voters (assuming it makes it that far; the legislators have to approve the amendment again next year, with no changes) can say "NO" to gay marriage, but by doing so will be approving full civil unions for gay couples.
The gay community is annoyed because the best that we can hope for out of the amendment is civil unions, assuming the amendment passes. If the voters say "NO" to the amendment, full state marriage for gay couples would continue, as per the ruling of the Supreme Judicial Court.
A new amendment may be in the works that I hear the Governor may be willing to support. It would basically get the state out of the marriage business. The state would only be able to issue "Civil Unions" to partners, either straight or gay, to afford civil rights and privileges. Marriages would no longer be issued by the state. Only a religious institution could issue a marriage.
This would mean that all straight couples would also be issued civil union certificates, just like us. Of course, they would want the Federal Government to honor those certificates. I can see it now... the Federal Government will try to say, "yeah we will honor YOURS, but NOT THE GAY ONES!". You know that's going to happen. Then guess what?? We start all over again!!!
As far as I'm concerned, as long as everything is on a level playing field, I don't care if it's called a "marriage" or not, BUT, it has to be exactly what straight couples get - no more and no less. That is EQUALITY.
Would straight couples be happy with not being able to get a "marriage" license? I don't know. I suppose the only way to find out is to have them see life from our side of the fence for awhile. I hate to put it that way, because it is divisive, and I have many straight friends who are very dear to me. But people have to also understand how hurtful this fight has been to so many of us.
And what's up with lesbian teens? Word has it that lesbian and bisexual girls are more likely to smoke than straight teens, or gay males. I know a lot of gay males, and the ones I know smoke like there's no tomorrow.
Oh boy... time for me to stop surfing for the night. Good night all! :)
I read this over the weekend. I covered it a bit earlier, but it merits attention. It's an old argument and one of my biggest gripes about equality.
It's all fine and well that we are stuck with this Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in the military, but if it's going to be used to get rid of highly qualified people who happen to also be gay, it should apply to both wartime and peacetime.
It seems that the discharges from military service for gay personnel are at a low right now because the military is looking the other way and not processing discharges for homosexual military personnel. They need more people for the war, so for the time being, they are relaxing the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.
Wasn't this policy to preserve "unit cohesion" that would supposedly be harmed by having homosexual personnel from serving openly along side straight personnel?
I guess unit cohesion is different in times of war. We are qualified to die and suffer injuries for our country just as long as we lie about what we are. It makes me proud to be an American!
Letter: An insulting waste
"I want you discharged from the military - but not just yet.'' That's the message Uncle Sam has these days for gay men and lesbians who serve in the military. Under the decade-old "don't ask, don't tell'' policy, the number of patriotic Americans kicked out of the military for their sexual orientations rose steadily from 1994 through 2001.
Recall effort over San Jose, CA decision to recognize same sex marriage
Incensed by the city of San Jose's decision to recognize same-sex marriages, a group of evangelical Christians has hired a well-regarded Sacramento consultant to explore a recall effort or ballot initiative to overturn the action.
Montanna's new anti-gay initiative
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