Do Ex-gays Exist?
Ex-gay. Does that term bother you? Are you skeptical that some people can change from gay to straight? A tremendous diversity of opinion exists about the topic and we often hear about such matters in the news. However, you may never have read about people who have reoriented their homosexuality in your local paper. Why? Because many in the print media are quite skeptical about the possibility of such change. I have had many respectful discussions with reporters and editors on this issue. However, I recently ran into a newspaper editor who doesn't even want to hear about ex-gay issues because she doesn't think ex-gays are real. (source)
My opinion, for what it's worth.... Ex-gays do not exist. They never were really gay to begin with. Some people seem confused by what the feel their sexual orientation is. I don't mean to sound callous here, but it was never an issue with me. I always knew I was gay, and never considered the thought of being something that I'm not. You see, I wanted to strive for happiness in life, and I knew that living your entire life as a lie was not going to bring happiness.
It saddens me that some seem to be lost in their orientation. They may have experimented with being gay and the may have thought that they were gay because they were ambiguous about their sexual orientation in the first place. Later, they decided to enter an ex-gay program perhaps and found that they were happier with heterosexuality. Good for them. They should do what makes them happy, but if they found heterosexuality, and are happy with that, then they never were truly homosexual to begin with.
It also saddens me that there are so many out there who willingly prey on these people's desires to change. They offer them false hopes, all the while trying to promote their own self-serving agenda, which is usually based in.... religion.
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No doubt in MY mind, I'd rather honker down on a hot man's cock, than stick my head into some smelly vagina.. I guess that makes me gay, so be it..
t'aint no doubt in my head as to what I desire for sexual release... thanks.
Thunderstorm, you sound like me. I knew I was gay when I was five years old. I didn't have a word for it or knew exactly how I was different, but I knew.
When I went to elementary school. I had the worst crush on this boy. I carried around his books and lunch and we even held hands, until a teacher told us to stop doing that. We didn't even know we were doing anything wrong.
That's where the brainwashing starts. From that point on, I knew that showing any affection to another male was taboo.
I learned to hide it well, but in high school was beaten up several times. When I went to college, I was able to start being myself a little and I started to come out. That's where I met Kent.
People are born gay. I'm absolutely sure of that. Can they be ex-gay? I suppose with enough brain washing you can convince someone that they are a penguin. But what would you have left? You would have a person who loathes part of what he is, with no way to resolve that, because it isn't going to go away.
If medical doctors tried to mess with someone the way these people mess with the minds of gay people, they would be run out of business and loose their license. But somehow, "helping" a gay person to "change" is thought to still be a "good thing". It's disgusting because all they are doing in turning someone's life into a living hell under the guise of "helping them".
I grew up in rural Mississippi with a highly anti-gay religous background. However, I knew I was gay before I entered first grade... not the word though.
Throughout high school I desperately wanted nothing more than to be straight, I even considered going into therapy to try and overcome my homosexuality (since then it was much the same as these techniques).
But even then part of me knew that even if I were able to convince myself I was hetero, I'd still be gay at my core. It's part of me, as much as the color of my skin, or the color of my eyes.
But the self hate I had would have possibly made this happen. I could have been converted to some degree to an 'ex-gay'. But it would be just as easy to convert a self-hating hetero (if there are any that hate their heterosexuality). He'd still be hetero, he'd just be denying himself something that is natural to him.
So ex-gays exist. Brainwashing and self-hate can create something from nothing I suppose...
Oh, 'ex-gays' do exist. But they are individuals who are so confused or conflicted over their sexual identity that they choose to repress the homosexual aspect of it.