Like Everyone Else, But Without The Same Rights

Sunday was a beautiful day in Bushnell Park. Couples walked arm in arm. Children ran ahead, playing in the bright sunlight on the lawn beyond the Capitol. The crowd of people was no different from others I have seen over the years - families gathered for jazz concerts or Mark Twain Days. It was an all-American-looking crowd. There were people wearing T-shirts with slogans, shorts and jeans, sneakers and sandals. There were small children propped on parents' shoulders or pushed in strollers. There were folks in wheelchairs and elderly couples being helped by volunteers. You could see a rainbow of ethnicities, races and ages.

Connecticut's Capitol never seemed so normal and yet so gay as it did last Sunday, when thousands of people gathered to participate in the rally for marriage equality. Sponsored by the Love Makes a Family coalition, this rally celebrated Massachusetts' becoming the first state to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples. More important, the event served as a forum for homosexuals, heterosexuals, parents, elected officials, religious and civic leaders to decry Connecticut's obsolete and discriminatory laws and to call for a new law allowing marriage licenses for same-sex couples.

I have attended many rallies in my life, but the energy and excitement at this one was truly special. Looking at the openly gay people surrounding me, I was struck by how indistinguishable this group was from any other crowd. These people standing on the lawn holding their children's or partners' hands were the same people who have been demonized by some religious leaders, bullied in school and victimized by hate crimes. These were the same people who, regardless of their contributions to society, have been made to feel like second-class citizens. Because they want the right to marry whom they choose, they are considered so dangerous that President George W. Bush, promoting his personal religious beliefs, wants to amend the Constitution to make sure they will continue to be discriminated against.

Elissa Kohen, associate rabbi for Congregation Beth Israel in West Hartford, is a longtime supporter of the Love Makes a Family coalition. She addressed the rally accompanied by her partner and their son. She told the crowd that her religion, Judaism, "speaks in an unequivocal voice: We are all created in the image of God." She also reminded us that we live in a country that separates religion and law.

Why should gays continue to be persecuted because of those who refuse to accept that marriage is a civil contract between two consenting adults having nothing to do with religion? The unwillingness to separate the secular and the religious is at the center of this debate.

However, the many religious leaders at Sunday's rally spoke in support of civil liberties for all. The Rev. Kathleen McTigue, senior minister at the Unitarian Society of New Haven, affirmed that our civil laws grant religious freedom. She is "betting on a God with an open mind and open heart." The Rev. John Selders of the United Church of Christ spoke "as a black revolutionary spiritual leader: I support everybody's right to love and marry who they choose. My ancestors fought too hard against discrimination based on race and color not to fight for liberty and justice for all." Teresa Younger, executive director of the Connecticut Civil Liberties Union, quoted Coretta Scott King's recent support for gay marriage. King reminded those opposed to gay marriage of her husband Martin Luther King Jr.'s words that "injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

One of the most emotional moments was provided by Sandy Sergio, a member of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, who described herself and her husband, David, as a nice old couple with four kids. One of them is living in Canada so she can be married to her partner. "They are pretty outrageous," joked Sergio. "They just put a new roof on their house and are planting a garden." Sergio asks of those who would block gay marriage, "How dare they deny parents the right to attend the weddings of all of their children regardless of whom they love?"

She then called the rally to action: "Let us persist with courage, for our children."

Her words and those of the other speakers at the rally gave me hope that someday soon, a Sunday afternoon in Bushnell Park will be a carefree time of fun and relaxation for all families, straight and gay.