Married in Oklahoma
We are legally married. Period. If the state of Oklahoma does not want to recognize our union, the state of Massachusetts does. What we are is equal there. What we are here is unequal. I'm not going to sit at the back of the bus. - Darin Moore, about his being married in Massachusetts (story)
That pretty just says it all. This couple went to Massachusetts to get married from Oklahoma. Oklahoma does not allow gays to be married, so the couple will be moving to Massachusetts in the near future.
It's a win for the couple. They should move. And I think more and more couples may be considering this. Last night, Kent called me. He is in North Carolina at a conference. He described the place. It sounded like a nice place to live - for some people. North Carolina, home to Jesse Helms, is ultra conservative. I somehow forgot that when I jokingly suggested to Kent, that they may offer him a job there. He was quick to reply, "I don't want to live in a state that doesn't value me as a citizen." That's the way I feel also. Connecticut so far doesn't allow gay marriage, but they are talking about it. I wouldn't be surprised if something happens here in the next couple of years. But places like North Carolina, Oklahoma, and Kansas aren't going to change for a very long time, if ever.
So you have a choice. Stay and deal with it, or move to a place where you can have a better life together. The choice would be a simple one for me. I would tell Oklahoma to "fuck off", and move to Massachusetts, along with my tax dollars.
If the state wants to be bigoted and treat gay couples like crap, fine. But they shouldn't also gain from the tax dollars those couples pay to the state.
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Well Buck, I have to agree with you about the United States; it is a crazy place right now. I think most of it stems from our current administration with their bigoted and self-righteous views. They are making up what they will do as they go along and I get a sense that the country is responding to that.
Also, the religious-right for the first time ever has a President who is giving them his ear so they are working harder than ever to get their way. To them, that means hopefully driving all of us back into the closet or at least making it so damn miserable for us that we will just leave the country.
But, I know that things will turn around. With the right person in the White House it will add some calm to our situation. I'm not saying that person is Kerry. I'm not that happy about our issues, but he has to be better than what we have now. And, if nothing else, the religious right would back off.
I'm come to love New England. I'm not a winter person and I don't like snow, but I have to admit that there is a "magic" to opening Christmas presents in front of a warm fire with the snow falling outside. You have a hot pot of hot mulled cider on the stove making the house smell so good. I've adapted to this environment.
And, I live in a state that will probably be the next state to legalize gay marriage (talks are underway). All we have to do is get rid of the governor we have now, which should be soon (corruption charges). Most people I have encountered here are at least tolerant if not out-rightly accepting. For example, we go out to "gay pasta night" at this place in Eagleville. Eagleville has a population of about 30. There is nothing there by Schmedley's Restaurant, a garage, and a liquor store. When you go in, it's very blue-collar. The first time I went there, a waitress came up to us, and asked if she could seat us. We said we were here to meet some other guys. She said, "Oh, are you here for gay pasta night?". Everyone heard her and didn't say anything about it. It's a well known event, yet we have it amid all these other straight guys who think nothing of it, even out in the boonies.
That's the way Connecticut is. It's very much live and let live. There are a few nuts of course who are fighting to try to keep gay marriage out of the state, but that's it. I've said from time to time that we are considering to a place that will allow us to be married. But it's honestly not a realistic option for us. We both have good jobs, a nice home in a beautiful area, and two incredibly spoiled cats who wouldn't want to move (lots of birds to entertain them all day). Life is good here.
But, why, oh why... can't there be somewhere warm that knows how to make a decent glass of sweet iced tea that values me?
Michael and I have considered it, but it's not a financial option at this point. To be honest, if I had the money to move I'd leave the U.S. entirely - this whole country is a scary place right now - marriage rights or not.
As for people in NC, I can't speak to that, being from SC. But I can say, having lived in other parts of the country which are considered more "liberal" that having people treat you differently if they know you're gay is just as prevelant. Personally, I prefer an out and out bigot to someone who smiles at me in public but works against me in private. I like to know where I stand with someone.
Anyway... think y'all could warm up New England? I love it in the Fall... but dang... snow? Can't drive in the stuff!
I’m glad that my partner works for a company based out of Massachusetts; if things go well for him I would definitely consider moving there for all the great things is has to offer.
However, I’m sorry that the Commonwealth doesn’t have more loud voices decrying the fact that the federal government is now discriminating against some of its married citizens, but not all of them.
That's right ! Don't be fooled by how nice everyone 'seems' in North Carolina. When they find out you're gay, they'll change their tune. I wouldn't live there again ever ! ! !