Voting us into second-class existence
I had a bunch of things in the news to write about. I ended up deleting all of them. Sometimes, at least for me, life gets just a little to depressing to deal with. I read what is going on in the world, what is going on with different people I know, and I realize just how challenging it is to be happy today. At least we are Americans and have each other, right?
Well, I guess not. This all started when I was driving home Friday night from work. I was listening to some radio station and the radio show host said, "You know you need more female friends when the guy in the Speedo selling the hot dogs starts looking hot."
It wasn't even funny. That's not the point. The more I thought about it, the more I recognized that it was just a back handed slam at our community; at gay people in general. He didn't say "gay people" or anything like that, but he implied it, and implied that there were something terribly wrong with finding someone of the same sex "hot". He got away with it and nothing will happen to him.
Some reading this will say, "Bill, get a thicker skin." OK. But would they be able to get away with making some back handed comment if it were about blacks, or Jews, or Asians, or Latinos?
We are still the scapegoats because we still have a lot of homophobia to deal with in this society. I say that to the radio host, as well as all the people hearing it that got a laugh out of it.
So, I ended up deleting what I was going to write about because they all dealt with crap like that. And, crap like the following, where our fellow citizens are about to say through their right to vote that we don't deserve to be equal. It sickens me.
We are going to Idaho for two weeks, starting next Saturday. I've made a decision to not blog at all during that time. I need to get away from all of this and all of the crap people say about us, and be with my partner for a time, away from all of this. Hopefully, we will be able to avoid negative attitudes towards us from family and friends on our visit. Hope is free, even if it doesn't lead to much at times.
The will of the people should be expressed in legislation. The purpose of the constitutional Bill of Rights is to protect people, especially minorities, from the will of the majority. This turns it on its head. - Matt LeMieux, executive director of the ACLU-Eastern Missouri
Voters in Missouri will become the first in the nation tomorrow to decide on a gay marriage ban since the Supreme Judicial Court ruling in Massachusetts, and polls indicated the amendment to the state's constitution is expected to pass even though opponents have raised more campaign money.
After the SJC decision last fall, Missouri legislators concluded that the state's Defense of Marriage law was vulnerable to court challenges and that only a constitutional amendment could preserve the traditional definition of marriage. They approved a referendum on adding 20 words to the constitution: ''That to be valid and recognized in this state, a marriage shall exist only between a man and a woman."
Louisiana votes on a similar amendment Sept. 18, as will at least eight other states on Election Day, Nov. 2. [...]
Four states -- Alaska, Hawaii, Nebraska, and Nevada -- had amended their constitutions to ban gay marriage before the SJC ruling. (source)
5 Comments
Leave a comment
I had the same thoughts this morning about the news being too negative to digest - I turned the radio to NPR's classical music station instead of my normal NPR news. I agree with Mike, though - Idaho is looking forward to having you and Kent visit, and I hope you find it far more friendly and tolerant than you remember (I'll bet there weren't 2 NPR stations when you were here. . .).
Mike,
WOW!!! Idaho prepared for us???!!? I'm impressed! :-)
Well, I'll be the first one to admit that because of my past experiences with discrimination, etc., that I have a LOT of baggage. It is a struggle for me to tolerate those who seemingly have no interest in tolerating me, or I should say, my kind (that's how they would put it). I know that I'm tired of fighting people who just react and don't think things through. And, I understand that it takes folks time to work through things. But, it just seems relentless at my end of everything.
I think humor is good and keeps the dialogue open. The joke bothered me, and I would normally just dismiss it. But it's everyday, and everywhere. I hear stuff like that and I wonder, "are they ever going to just see me as another human being that is exactly like they are with the same hopes and fears, except for this one small detail?".
I know what you mean about two people of the same background belittling each other. My friends have called me names in fun that would be derogatory if they themselves had not been gay. The difference is in how the word is meant, and was it meant to be harmful to others. The joke on the air offended me because it was at the expense of a certain group of people. When that happens, it only serves to further isolate that group and separate us from each other. After awhile, it's kind of hard to keep laughing that stuff off and find humor in it. It gets old.
I'm seriously looking into a one-day white water rafting trip. I don't know where yet, so it may not work out. We'll see. We are also going to take some hikes and do some canoeing on the lake.
Thanks Alan.
I'm sure we will have a great time. I'm actually really looking forward to it. I may write some short stories while away, but I won't make daily blog entries. For one thing, I won't have internet where I'm going. I will have my notebook to write with, and to collect photos on. One thing I want to do is to really study photography more on this trip. I've always been so busy with work, that it's been tough. This vacation will let me do that. We don’t leave until Saturday. Until then, I’m sure you will see more entries from me. J
Will,
I agree with you about trying to be optimistic. We really need to do that at this time because of what is happening around us. I deleted all those entries that I was going to write about because they were all negative. To me, that serves no purpose because we all know what the political and social atmosphere is out there. One thing that has changed for me in all of this is my attitude about religion and the churches. I used to think that they were a powerful and important part of American culture. But now, I am seeing for myself how dangerous the influence of the church is when it crosses into the business of the government, where laws are made.
Eventually, we will have marriage. I am absolutely sure of that. If we don't, we will no longer have democracy. The religious right will have had their way with the Constitution, and our country will have become less for it. I don't think that will happen. I think in the end we will prevail.
Before that happens, I believe many states will make our relationships illegal at a state constitutional level. That is very sad, but if you think about it, sodomy laws were exactly the same way. They were used primarily to enforce discrimination against gay people. With ONE RULING, ALL OF THEM IN ALL THE STATES were found to be unconstitutional by the US Supreme Court. The same can happen here with gay marriage. That is my hope. It may not take us years and years to reverse this trend. It may happen all at once. Of course, it could take awhile to get there.
In the meantime, people should live where they can be pursue happiness. If you live in a state such as Virginia, I would move if I lived there. But that's a personal choice. People have to figure out what they can put up with and what they can't.
Connecticut is not bad for equal rights. We have a gay rights law in place so I don't have to worry about being fired for being gay or being discriminated against in housing, etc. I just can't get married, yet. But other than that, life is good here and we love where we are at.
You deserve a break -- have a nice vacation with your guy! :)
Bill, I am--or try to be--one of those "the glass is half full" guys, but I must admit that I'm beginning to get a bit worn down. The sheer unreasoned venom and the strength of the backlash is beginning to tell on my nerves.
While you're away, Fritz and I will have our wedding celebration with our families and close friends. That will help a bit, no doubt. But the reality is that so much of what the homophobes and the religious extremists are doing in the courts and to their state constitutions will take years and years to reverse when the time comes.
Have a great time away. I will look forward to your return and the resumption of the blog.
Our choice of words and language are key to a better understanding of one another. It is amazing to hear two people with the same background belittle each other but if someone outside of the group were to say the same thing, it would be inflammatory. The counterpoint is the frustration of needing to cleanse every form of speech and representation to ensure some comfortable neutral position. You are so right about the ‘scapegoat’ problem surrounding homosexuality but we still need to find any ounce of humor possible or we’ll miss out on learning about each other. Is it possible that a joke about ‘hotdog man in Speedo’ will do more good than harm to combat homophobia? I certainly don’t pretend to know the answer but we get to keep working at getting along, regardless of the prejudice and how long it takes.
We here in Idaho are looking forward to seeing you and Kent. We’ve even decorated several pristine high mountain lakes and the whitewater river-rafting faucet in turned up real high in preparation for your trip.