Equality, American Style

This weekend, Kent and I will be finishing up the information our attorney has requested for the legal documents she will be drawing up for us. I'm hopeful that they will be sufficient when the time comes that they are needed. I worry too damn much about this stuff but I've heard all the awful things that can and do happen. And, after everything, I worry that anything our attorney does, will be contested. I guess there's no way around that. The deadline for me is our travel to San Diego this Christmas. I want the legal papers drawn up before that trip.

And this from the Oregon Statesman Journal:

Marriage is supposed to bestow the benefits of love, comfort and fidelity.

It promises to endure in sickness and health, in times of plenty and want.

But emotion aside, there are many other benefits to being legally married in Oregon.

Married people can sue others for the wrongful death of a spouse. If one is ill, the other half of a wedded couple can visit hospital rooms or make medical decisions without providing legal papers.

They can't be forced to testify against each other in court. If a spouse dies, a husband or wife may inherit their property and money without challenge in court.

None of these benefits applies to unmarried couples.

Even with wills, medical directives and powers-of-attorney, many benefits are not guaranteed if challenged in court, attorneys say.

I'm a bit disappointed in Oregon. I really thought that they would vote Measure 36 down, but it looks now as though it will pass. I know that it's not all about hate. But from my end of things, the receiving end of the different legislations being pushed into law around the country, it feels very much like hate.

It feel like society is telling me, “You FAGGOT! You don't deserve what we have because you are queer and LESS THAN US.” Of course, it's much more sterile than that, but the effect at my end, both real and emotional, are the same. I'm left with more questions than answers. Is my country leaving me behind? Do the really care about citizens like me, or am I just there to supplement their tax base and heterosexual couples who can get married? After all, if anything happens to me, Kent won't see one dime of my Social Security that I have paid into. My 401K retirement will be taxed in one total sum and then given to him, what's left of it. He can't roll it over into his retirement.

And I'm left wondering, is this what Christianity is? It's confusing to me because I've always been a Christian. I was raised a Christian, went to church regularly, my friends were Christian, it was all around me. Either I was totally oblivious to what people thought, or I didn't want to accept the hateful side of it. I'm wondering if it was always there, if that is what Christianity is, and I just didn't see it.

And I'm wondering if I ever understood America. I always thought naively that we all wanted equal rights and liberty for all. Is that all crap? Is that what the bedrock documents that formed the foundation of this country believe, and they've just been hijacked by religious fanatics? I wish I had more answers because this country no longer makes sense to me.

I try not to take it personally. It's not like they are passing these bills so that Bill Cannon won't be equal. It's against one single class of citizens. But, for the life of me, I can't make equality less than personal.

Marital benefits

Federal
There are more than 1,100 federal laws relating to marriage that do not apply to same-sex couples, no matter the outcome of Measure 36 or a lawsuit before the Oregon Supreme Court contesting the marriage licenses issued this year to gay couples by Multonomah County.

The benefits include Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid payments, immigration, taxes and others.

Federal law also gives states the authority to not recognize same-sex marriages from other states. If Measure 36 passes, Oregon would be included, supporters say.

State
There are 279 state laws relating to marriage, including:
Joint state tax filing.

Automatic property and money inheritance without a will.

Medical and funeral decisions without a legal directive or will.

Entitlement to child-support money upon divorce.

Right to sue for wrongful death of a spouse.

No requirement to testify in court against a spouse or disclose any confidential information.

Entitlement to deceased spouse's retirement benefits and life insurance.

Right to transfer property and gifts between spouses without state taxation.

Civil unions
Civil unions may extend state benefits of marriage to gay couples, but other states and the federal government can choose not to recognize them. Federal benefits of marriage, such as joint federal tax filings, are not available to civil-union couples.

Benefits by contract
Many gay couples hire attorneys or draw up legal documents for medical directives and powers-of-attorney.

The contracts may be contested in court. They also may not be recognized in other states. For example, a medical directive does not have to be honored in a state where an Oregon couple is vacationing.

Gay and lesbian couples may own property jointly, adopt common children of the relationship, write wills, gain power of attorney for end-of-life decisions and medical care (unless one partner is still lawfully married).

There are many benefits provided by private companies that may or may not be available to same-sex couples, including family payment plans for health clubs, car insurance, health insurance and retirement plans. (source)