The Second Congregational Church in Coventry, Connecticut is “open and affirming” to gay couples. What does this mean? It means that if you are a gay couple, and want to have a service there blessing your relationship, they will allow you to use their church for that purpose. I don’t think that being a member of the church is a requirement. But I’m sure the hope is that you will keep coming back to belong to their church community, and contribute to that community, hopefully with money, but there are other ways to contribute as well.
But is that really enough? You are basically being told by the church, yes we will give some sort of recognition to your relationship you have with your same sex partner, but we will not marry you. It gets a bit dicey at this point. Some of you might say that’s not the churches’ fault. That’s the fault of the state you live in for not allowing gay marriage in the state.
I can agree with that, except for one small thing. When a heterosexual couple gets married in the church, one of the things the minister will say is, “...by the power vested in me by [insert church name here] and the State of [insert state name here], I pronounce you man and wife.”
In this light, the church is playing no small roll in contributing to the second class recognition that our relationships are given. This is why I stopped going to that church. I wasn’t alone. Before I left, there was a lesbian couple and a gay male couple leave because of this. And the church is left wondering, “Why? We said we didn’t have a problem with their relationships and would affirm thier relationships.”
But you do have a problem with our relationships. If you are an “affirming church” out there reading this, and I mean truthfully affirming, you would refuse to perform or honor any further weddings for ANYONE until ALL couples could be honored EQUALLY.
Now that is AFFIRMATION!
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