Hateful Comments Left on This Site
Last night I checked my email, and had been notified that a comment was left on this site. I came to this site and did indeed see a comment from “exterminategays@ihategays.com”. The comment was posted to my Support Our Troops entry dated December 8, 2004. The comment said, “Billy Boy, do yourself a favor and commit suicide.” The comment was deleted.
But before I deleted the comment, I did an IP address search for all entries for that particular poster. My suspicions were correct - it was the same poster (same IP address) as “spitonyou”, who posted a message on the same day as the post. The IP address for this individual has been banned from posting comments on this site.
I hated to do that. Why? Because it silences what he has to say, and that is what I hate. But, I also realize that he has no interests in voicing an opposition to what I said. I put out arguments and what I feel about a situation. I then try to explain why I feel the way I do. Opposing viewpoints are welcomed and encouraged. I say encouraged because I too am learning from life’s lessons as I take my journey through life. Personal attacks on me does not add any value to this process, since the person does not even know me. He obviously vehemently disagrees with my opinion on the war in Iraq. THAT is what he should try to put into words. THAT I would be interested in. Instead, he used his post to attack me. It’s ok - I have a thick skin. But the point I’m trying to make is that his argument was lost because of it.
Still, I kept his original post out there, and tried to respond to it, despite the fact that there was little substance to it. Last night, he posted again with the reference to suicide. It was a different email address (none of them are valid email addresses - he puts one in because the comment form requires it). It was then that I decided that he had no interest in carrying on an intelligent, thought provoking argument. So, I banned him from comments.
It was the least restrictive thing I could do. I could have banned him from even seeing this site, or ever emailing me. I could also go to comment moderation where no comments get posted unless I first review them. Some people do this, but I think it disrupts the flow of arguments because there is a delay in comment posting. I have had to reluctantly start moderating entries left in my guest book, because this same individual was posting lewd comments there as well. For now, I’m keeping the board open. Comments will be immediately posted for current entries (no older than 2 weeks). Older entries will be moderated, but will probably appear within 4 hours.
Feel free to post comments and opposing points of view as you wish. Some of my opinions on different topics have actually been changed by some of your posts. But, I will not allow posts that only deal with irrational hatred towards me, or hateful attacks against a group of people based on religion, sexual orientation, or any other means. There are other sites that will accommodate that if you wish - this is not one of them.
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You did the right thing blocking his access. It's your site and you can do what you want, but if it was my site I would block all the bigots from the very first hateful comment.
In addition, I reject this gay superstition that the more bigotted a person is the more likely he is to be gay himself. I'm sure there are cases like that but I'm also sure that the majority are not gay, just bad people.
Dan
funny how the most anti-gay people turn out to be the biggest "in the closet" gays ever! lol *hug*
Thank you Jeff.
I suspect that whoever he is, he's probably a young man who obviously has a lot of issues. It's not just people like me he will have to deal with in life. If he's that closed minded to letting people be what they are, I don't know if he will ever see old age.
I think people are getting fed up with all the BS of people giving them attitude. A week ago, someone yelled at me when I got out of my car. I have a bumper sticker on my car celebrating diversity. I knew he was going to give me grief. I turned to him and gave him a look like, "Bring it on! Let's do it!" I wasn't having a good day, and then he pulled this attitude on me. He shut up, and turned away.
I'm so tired of some people thinking that because they belong to the majority, they can put down others like that. Like you said, this country needs to get back to freedom for ALL people. I remember not so long ago when that used to be what our country was striving for. Now, it seems to me that the religious fundamentalist right are on one end and people like me on the other end of the spectrum. Unless people start speaking up for freedom and fairness for all people, in ten years, this country is going to be a very different from the country we knew just five years ago.
What I want to know is where this guy gets off calling you a "metro-man". You are a TRUE gay man, and proud of it, not a wannabe, "metro-man". In my opinion that alone is enough to ban him.
Seriously, you are right to ban him although I understand why you didn't want to initially. However, your reasoning for finally doing so is sound.
I still don't get how this country was founded on the notion of liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, for all men, and yet 200 plus years later we are seemingly no where near that ideal. Even worse, cowards like "spitonyou" would not only wish to deprive you of those basic civil rights, but would have you dead as well.
Very sad.
I would rather have one friend like you, Bill, than a thousand spitonyous.
Look at it this way, if someone came to your house, insulted you, and otherwise misbehaved, you wouldn't have them back. You wouldn't have to. They have a right to say what they choose, but the don't have a right to do it in your living room.
This blog is a sort of virtual living room. That guy has a right to speak his mind. He doesn't necessarily have a right to do it on your blog. On the other hand, he easily set up his own blog and say whatever he wants to his hearts content.
You did the right thing, and you were well within your rights to do it.
Thank you Steph. It is indeed scary what you have gone through with your stalker. Fortunately, I haven't had anyone on my case that has that much tenacity. But, as you know, being an active blogger, your blog changes over time as you change. I have changed a great deal in how vocal I am on certain political issues. That seems to be very threatening to some people. I suppose it goes with the territory.
We live in uncertain times.
You have every right, on your site for which you pay, to silence or ban anyone you please. To me, a weblog is like a livingroom soiree. If a guest came into my home with the intent to abuse me and/or my guests, I would turn them out without a second thought.
I've been being cyber-stalked by certain people for a couple of years now. One of these is so intent on inflicting pain that I will never venture a foot into her state for booksignings. If I'm invited to a neighboring state I will hire a body guard. Fortunately, my son has banned them from accessing any site that's on my Alla Breve domain; they are redirected to a 404 page instead.
I think what you did was right.