Connecticut Civil Unions, Part II

Continued from Connecticut Civil Unions, Part I

“Good for Betty - and too bad for Love Makes A Family. I was very surprised that Love Makes A Family, at the urging of some national groups, took the position of marriage or nothing. That’s a big mistake. My advice was to say you are for marriage, say civil unions aren’t good enough, but stop there.”

Dear Representative Lawlor:

Those are your words. You feel that civil unions are a compromise to civil marriage. It isn’t. Why should my partner of 30 years have to eat in the kitchen when there is a dining room that everyone else (heterosexual married couples) can eat in?

It’s not fair and you know it. You say that our wanting equal rights is “a big mistake”. Equality is NEVER a big mistake. Time will tell if you and others are honestly sincere about returning to this issue in the future. Here is my prediction:

You and your colleagues will pass a “civil union” bill this year (separate but more-or-less equal, something that will never be recognized by the Federal Government), and pat yourselves on the back for “doing the right thing”, knowing full well that this has nothing to do with EQUALITY.

Next year, the issue is dead. Having, in your minds, given us “equal rights” from this “civil union” bill, none of you will want to return to this issue next year. I will, right now, bet you $100 that next year the legislature will not even be looking at a marriage bill for gay couples. In fact, I would extend that bet to three years out. By this I mean that it is brought to the floor and voted on. Will anyone, such as yourself, take it upon yourself to bring a gay marriage bill to life?

In the meantime, if a civil union bill is passed this year, my partner and I will not be participating in this charade for justice and equality. We will never apply for something that is second-best. THAT IS NOT EQUALITY.

Sincerely,

Bill Cannon
Coventry, CT

This was his response to me.

Hey, Bill, as a matter of fact, I myself will bring a marriage bill to life next year.

Mike Lawlor

I responded:

Dear Representative Lawlor,

Please understand my passion for gay marriage. I’m not questioning your motives or your integrity. I believe you to be an honest and fair man. And, I do believe that you will try to bring a marriage bill forth next year for gay couples. What scares me is your ability to give the bill a hearing, if no one else wants that to happen. I know just from hearing the legislators this year and some of the rhetoric that has taken place, that they want this to go away. If we get civil marriage this year, I personally do not believe we will see a bill giving gay couples equal REAL marriage (and not second-class “civil unions”), for another 10-15 years. I honestly believe that.

With all of your best intentions (and I do believe that you want to bring a bill forth next year for full marriage), I don’t believe you will be able to do that. A year is not a long time. If you honestly feel that we can’t pass a gay marriage bill this year, what makes you think the political climate is going to change enough to let it happen next year?

I’m 50 years old this year. That means I’ve been with my partner since I was 20 years old. How much longer should I have to be second-class in this “free” society of ours? If we can’t have marriage this year, or next year, will the legislature at least put through a bill giving us second-class taxes?

Whatever else people think of Betty Gallo, I don’t honestly see what there is to “applaud” (your term). Supporting civil unions is supporting a separate and less than equal system. I don’t know how anyone can be proud of that.

I am grateful for what you are trying to achieve, but anything less than EQUAL is not equal. And, that is simply wrong.

Sincerely,

Bill Cannon
Coventry, CT