Have we failed to make homophobia unacceptable?
I spotted this letter in the Stanford Daily, written by a gay student. Interesting reading.
One ‘fag’ wonders — have we failed to make homophobia unacceptable?
By David Louk
Nigger. Raghead. Chink. Kike.
These are words you probably aren’t used to hearing too often — and with good reason. They’re unacceptable forms of bigotry and racism.
But what about the word “faggot”? A recent conversation among friends reminded me that the word, and a generalized acceptance of homophobia, is still alive and well, even on an enlightened liberal college campus. When my friend said the word, (we’ll say my friend is a she) she used it to describe a sketchy guy at a party, and it had nothing to do with his sexual preference.
It’s bad enough that she said it (and if she said it in front of me, someone who is gay, my guess is that she uses it more frequently in other company). What’s worse is the fact that I wasn’t shocked. I wasn’t offended. I didn’t say a word about the comment. Not until afterward, when another friend went on a tirade about the fact that she would use such a word, did it begin to dawn on me how much our society tolerates homophobia.
Maybe it’s because I’ve heard “faggot” used so many times before. Maybe it’s because I hear everything from cars to homework assignments to bad luck at cards described as “gay”. Whatever the reason, other than a general uneasiness with how uncomfortable the conversation had become, I wasn’t a bit phased by her utterance of “the other f-word.”
And that saddens me. I have quietly adopted this sort of second-class status, where bigoted language is acceptable and, to quote “Star Trek”, resistance is futile. Part of the blame rests on my shoulders — I should be the first line of defense against intolerance, and I should have immediately said something. Yet I am so used to hearing homophobic comments that I’ve internalized them as tolerable, if not standard. I didn’t even raise an eyebrow.
How has our society normalized such comments, and what do we do to make them socially unacceptable? I honestly don’t know. Seeing FACES during freshman orientation, having dorm discussions about racism, homophobia, sexism, etc., and even having “fag” friends didn’t work to make my friend understand that such language is unacceptable and hurtful.
Where have we failed? Where have I failed? If my friend had said the n-word, I would have been up in arms about how offensive it was. Why I did I not even question bigotry directed at me? And if I don’t blink an eye at it, what about the people out there who really are intolerant? Apart from our happy bubble called Stanford, I can only hope that as our society progresses, everyone — myself included — is more aware of the effect words can have on each other and on ourselves.
My friend eventually apologized and said that she should not have been so flippant. I accepted the apology. What I have yet to accept is a society that has coerced me — a strong, intelligent and socially-conscious “fag” — into thinking that such language, although harmful, is acceptable. (source)
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Today, after all these years, they are just starting to recognize the "men with the pink triangle" (the homosexuals), and what they went through during the war. And Buck is right, the arrival of the Allies and Americans did not spell freedom for those men. It was a whole new persecution for them.
I can't imagine what it was like to go through that, only to be tortured more by the "freedom" fighters.
I can recall my father intimating once that when the camps were liberated (he was there) that the gays were not allowed to go free but were just as persecuted by the Allies and Americans in particular as by the Nazis.
Somehow that doesn't surprise me at all. Our belief in "freedom," "equality" and "liberty" have always come with a major helping of hypocrisy on the side.
It is an interesting point that in this country’s current “politically correct” mindset there is still leeway to use such a word as “faggot” so freely, or use the word “gay” as a derogatory slam.
My father, who is by no means anti-Semitic, often complains that to this day the main focus of the atrocities that occurred during WWII is still about the Jews. His point is that while the Jews were a primary target of Hitler for persecution and extermination, there were many other groups such as Catholics, Jehovah’s Witness’s, and gays who were just as aggressively persecuted as the Jews, but who’s plight has somehow been discounted by history.
I guess it comes down to the idea that people feel that being gay is a choice, and therefore it’s ok to discriminated against someone for something that is “preventable”, but being an ethnical minority is not. It honestly turns my stomach that in this day and age people are STILL so damn blind to other people’s feelings in favor of their own ignorance and fear.