Trying to be tolerant

One of the most difficult challenges for me is to be tolerant. I didn’t used to be this way. It used to be my nature to be tolerant of others who disagree with me on any issue. There was a time that I would never turn my back on a friend. Never.

But, I’ve changed in the last couple of years. Apparently, with age, I’ve been given the gift of being able to see through bullshit when I see it. A couple of examples...

The article below shows yet again one more attempt from our government to send a strong and resounding message that it’s perfectly ok to discriminate against gays. I guess it’s our turn. I get get. I understand that. But it doesn’t mean I have to agree with it.

What the Boy Scouts are doing is simply wrong. They are sending out a message that it’s just fine to keep the gay men away from kids (the Girl Scouts do not discriminate against lesbians). In essence, the Boy Scouts are saying, although they wouldn’t want to admit this in front of a camera, is that there is truth to the stereotype that gay men can not be trusted around your male child. Is it fair? Certainly not, but this is what they are up too.

GOP Bill Would Force Cities To Admit Scouts Despite Gay Ban

Senate Majority leader Bill Frist has introduced legislation that would make it illegal to bar the Boy Scouts from using pubic facilities.

In 2000 Supreme Court ruled that the Boys Scouts can prohibit gays. The high court said the constitution gave the scouts, as a private organization, the right to choose its members. The Scouts also prohibits atheists.

Civil liberties groups have challenged the scouts’ access to government facilities because of the ban and its requirement to swear an oath of duty to God.

The Pentagon last year settled one lawsuit by telling U.S. military bases around the world not to become direct sponsors of Boy Scout troops or Cub Scout dens.

Dozens of cities and school boards have also barred the scouts from using public facilities.

If Frist’s “Support Our Scouts Act” becomes law the federal government would be obliged to support the Scouts and state and local governments would be required to give Scouts access to their facilities if they make them available to other groups.

So how does this effect me? I went to the grocery store not so long ago and a couple of men were out in front of the store collecting money for our local Boy Scout troop. They looked at me and apparently I glared back. When I approached the store, they did not ask me to contribute. I will not give money to anything that discriminates in this fashion.

People can choose what they want to do as far as their children are concerned, but I will tell you this. If I am friends with some couple, and I find out that their son is in the Boy Scouts, how close do I want to be to those people? Everyone knows how the Boy Scouts feel about gays. Yet, they are allowing their son to be a part of that. So, does that mean that at some level, they support and endorse that behavior? I don’t know, but I do know that I am more cautious around people that do this. A wall goes up.

In the last election, I lost a friendship because he voted for President Bush because it was for the “good of the country” (his words). How is trying to keep me at second class citizenship for the “good of the country”? I know... there are other issues that we are facing that are important. But it seems to me, that in a country that boasts freedom for all, trying to establish a second class of citizenship smacks in the face of what we tell the world we believe in.

So where does this leave me? Very simple really (when you get to be 50, you want simplicity in your life). I won’t be friends with anyone who will not support me as an equal citizen. PERIOD. If my relationship with Kent isn’t on an equal standing with your marriage, I won’t be your friend. If I don’t have that support, you never were my friend to begin with.

Friendship is about respect. It demands nothing less.