Lexington, Mass. school calls cops on dad irate over gay book
For David Parker, the first alarm went off in January, when his 5-year-old son came home from his kindergarten class at Lexington’s Joseph Estabrook School with a bag of books promoting diversity.
Inside were books about foreign cultures and traditions, along with food recipes. There was also a copy of “Who’s In a Family?” by Robert Skutch, which depicts different kinds of families, including same-sex couples raising children.
The book’s contents concerned Parker and prompted him to begin a series of e-mail exchanges with school officials on the subject that culminated in a meeting Wednesday night with Estabrook’s principal and district director of instruction. The meeting ended with Parker’s arrest after he refused to leave the school, and the Lexington man spent the night in jail.
Yesterday, Parker was arraigned in Concord District Court on one count of trespassing, and a not guilty plea was entered on his behalf. Bail was set at $1,000, and Parker was freed after being ordered to stay off Lexington school property. He is due back in court June 1. [...]
“This is not about creating a forum for hate . . . for any segment of society,” Parker said after his arraignment. “I’m just trying to be a good dad.” [...]
“We’re not intolerant,” said Tonia Parker. “We love all people. That is part of our faith.” (source)
I’m sure the right wingers are going to be right there to support and use Mr. Parker for their own purposes of furthering intolerance and hatred for gay families.
Listen, I can understand Mr. Parker’s issues on this. But he needs to realize that there is a VERY thin line between intolerance and hatred. He can say he is “tolerant” and that he “loves all people”, but what does it say to other kids in same-sex households and same-sex parents when he wants to totally exclude them from his son’s existence? What will his son say when another child explains to his son that they have two mommies or two daddies?
School is about preparing kids for the real environment - yes, even as early as six years old, and there’s a way to do that. You can do that by being honest with them. There is nothing dirty or shameful about two people who happen to be the same sex who are trying just as hard as Mr. Parker is to provide their children a good home and a good education.
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Well said Fritz, and I totally agree with every single thing you said.
I am also trying to be fair and realize that there are others who have opposing opinions - hence why the comment was approved and posted. To disagree is a positive sign in a way. It shows that someone is at least trying to understand the issue - at least to the point of taking the energy to disagree and make the post.
The basic problem with this issue is that the idea of same-sex parents is still foreign to a lot of people. They hold on to the very negative stereotypes of gay people (sex-a-holics, pedophiles, etc.) and that's all they think about. Intellectually, most thinking people know that those stereotypes are untrue because they have been shown to be untrue time and time again. But, where their children are concerned, they hold on to those stereotypes and biases for dear life, "just to be safe".
What they don't realize is the message that they are sending to children is an extremely harmful message and, I would say, being on the receiving end of gay bashing from dumb teenagers, a very dangerous message.
If you think that I'm blowing this out of proportion, I can put you in touch with the mother of a man who is currently serving a 40 year prison term for murdering a homosexual back in 1988. He did so because he thought at the time that homosexuals are sick perverts who deserve everything they get.
Where do you think he got that idea? Kids don't pull this stuff out the air. The guy who is in prison has told me that many of his friends told him that it could easily have been them in prison for the same thing. There were a pack of teens that would go out at night and target gay men. They would beat them up and rob them. Unfortunately, they went too far in this case, and the man died.
Again, where to you think kids get these ideas from? They get them from people like David Parker who, under the guise of "protecting his child", is doing a disservice to that child. We live in a diverse world. Children need to know that and how to deal with it.
If he really hates the idea of his child being exposed to the idea that people like me exist, he should pull his child out of public schools and place him in a religious school that has fundamentalist values. I'm sure many of them would love to teach David Parker's child that gays are sick, depraved, and poor excuses for human life, that deserve whatever they get.
Where do we draw the line, Mike?
Should parents have the right to protest when children of same sex couples are in their child's class?
LGBT people exist. We have the right to be open about who we are and whom we love. If people like David Parker want to pretend that we don't exist and shield their children from reality, they can do so in the privacy of their own homes. But, the rest of society has the right to educate these children on how to respect the rights of others and show tolerance toward people their parents teach to hate and fear. This is called "good citizenship." And, we all have a stake in promoting it.
I don't have any tolerance for opinions that are bigoted, ignorant, and hateful. Neither do most of my friends and neighbors.
I just ran into my co-worker Mary, her partner Lisa, and their beautiful twin girls at Costco a few hours ago. We had a nice chat about typical things -- the girls' 3rd birthday coming up, the weather, etc.
I am sure there where people in the store like David Parker who would tell their children that this family is "evil" and "unnatural" -- that's exactly why we need our schools to promote tolerance. Otherwise, these kids are more likely to grow up to commit one of the tens of thousands of hate crimes that are committed against LGBT people each year.
Bill is 100% right on this issue. In my opinion, David Parker is a terrible father and a bad neighbor. He should move his family to a secluded area and home school his kids. Then, the rest of us won't have to deal with his narrow-minded crap and the monsters that his kids are quite likely to grow up to be.
The issue here is not gay bashing - it is about respect for ones beliefs. The only thing David wants is the right to be notified when the topic of gay lifestyles is brought up in the classroom (with his 5 year old, no less). This is a right already guaranteed by Massachusetts state law (the so-called "opt-out" law.)
Intolerance is the view held out by those who would deny him of his legal rights. Why is there all of this hate against people who have a different point of view and want to exercise their legal rights?
To read up on the actual facts of this case, go to http://www.davidparkerfund.org/
Yes but, if the book were talking about black families being on equal footing with white families... to promote tolerance, today, this would not be an issue. However, there was a time in our history that that would have been viewed in the same light, and condemned as well. At the time, it would have been up to the parents to decide if the wanted their children "exposed" to an idea that they did not share, or believe in.
The books are not showing sex acts. The books are showing that there are indeed different types of families out there. This is a fact that these children are living with, weather we as a society want to deal with that or now. If you are in a traditional family (man, woman, children), and your 6 year old goes to school, do you really think that he's not going to be around children who are being raised by same-sex parents? How will he respond to that? Usually, it will be in the form for bullying or some other way that is not acceptable, because, by taking the action that we don't want children exposed to this, we have sent a very clear message that it is something that should not be accepted.
Now, you can make the argument that "you don't want them exposed to this lifestyle at such an early age", but that really is a cop-out and it's skirting the issue. Do you support diversity (which is not just an idea any longer - it's a reality for these children), or don't you?
This has nothing to do with "promoting" one type of household over another. It has to do with respect - basic respect. And that is a lesson that I would think we would want any school to teach. It also has to do with learning and teaching children that not all of life's lessons come from a book. The school's message was one of teaching respect for other families. If people don't want that to be taught to their children (so they can add to yet the next generation of homophobes), then they should put their children in a private Catholic school (I hear the Catholics are doing a marvelous job these days with bashing and demonizing gay families), or, teach them how to be intolerant.... at home.
Hello. Although I consider myself more than open-minded and accepting, I must weigh in on the side of the parents (David and Tonia Parker) here. Parents do have a right to control what their children learn about sexuality and orientation, especially at this young age. I read the documentation, and even the Governor admits that the school missed the ball on this one. Above all, the parents request, especially at the beginning, was quite reasonable. A parallel example: children raised in 7th day adventist or jehovah's Witness households are not required to sing or play patriotic songs in band, orchestra or chorus rehearsals or concerts. For a lot of us, this may appear to be a little kooky, but the law guarantees the right of non-infringment upon their religion. The same, logically, must apply for this family. The writers of the book claim that is promotes tolerance, the parents claim that it places gay and lesbian nuclear families on the same moral level as hetero families. I am not judging it one way or the other, just stating the two positions, for which a compromise is not possible. Yes, sadly enough, the radical right will pick up the story and use it to further their cause, but it does not change the fact that the rights (and responsibilities) of the parents were violated. It may not please everybody, but what is good for the goose must also be good for the gander. The gay community would be doing itself a big favor by respecting the wishes of parents like these, for every positive move can lead to better understanding and less hatred. Best wishes to you.
A few years ago, brother and his family moved to a neighborhood that included a same-sex couple and their adopted Korean son. My brother's kids showed absolutely no concern over the fact that their new playmate had two moms. They really didn't find it to be of much interest. It also didn't concern them that the parents of the boy were of a different race. They were more interested in knowing what kind of toys the boy had and whether or not he was good at playing soccer and laser tag.
The boy was a great kid, BTW. He was very popular and a straight-A student.
Prechers who spread hate are not doing gods work,they have their own agenda,god created us all in his own image,and i dont think he made any mistakes,we are here on earth to work together,we can spend all our time fighting or some people could grow up and fix the big problems that need fixing,teen pregnancy,drugs,there are lots of things people could be doing,but would rather waste there time spreading hate.(I agree with kent they know they are losing ground with us so they throw one last tantrum.
Rev, Thomas Scott Painter....
I have removed your comment because it is disgusting, degrading, and uncalled for. Do it again, and I will ban you from this site. If you have a point to make without being degrading and disgusting, make it. Otherwise, get lost. You will not use this site to promote your disgusting hatred and intolerance.
I welcome valid arguments that disagree with my position, as long as they are presented in a respectful and thoughtful way to me and my community.
I don't think the gay community is doing anything wrong here Tony. I believe what is happening is that the Republicans are now running the country AND their party has been taken over by the religious right. I think it's that simple.
They gay bash and put through hateful laws because they believe it is the "will of the people" and that it gets votes.
I think eventually truth and honesty from us will win the day. It may take a few years, but the more of us who are out to our families and the more gay couples who want to enter into a commitment (marriage or a civil union), the more people will began to really understand our community.
If you think about it for a bit, things were starting to come around for our community before marriage was the issue. People were coming out all over the place and many states were seriously starting to look at protections for gays in hiring and benefits.
Then marriage came along and people went crazy - mostly because the religious right was egging it on. This will pass with time. As Kent is always reminding me, "The reason they are kicking and screaming now is because they know this is their last chance to put their will over us. Their movement is slowly dieing." I think he's right. The great majority of the next generation coming up after them really don't have a problem with us getting married.
COMMENT CONTENTS DELETED BY WEBMASTER. THE COMMENT PROMOTED HATE IN A DISGUSTING WAY WITHOUT MAKING A POINT.
This man is just doing what our government does every day,looks at us with disgust,if everyone in the world would get to know us for more than our label"gay"and see that we can love and have familys just like heterosexual couples,this would be a great world,but people choose to close there minds,and hope that they never have to deal with us,we are here and we are not going anywhere,over in eourpe people are starting to get the laws changed,they are allowed to marry whom they want,gays are allowed to marry and adopt children,so what are we doing wrong over here?