Orchids Hate Us
This photo was taken on April 24, 2004, just after we brought our orchid home. We bought two books. One called Growing Orchids, and the other called Orchids For Wimps. It looked easy enough. It’s been almost a year. So where are the buds?
It’s sending out these weird things that resemble those tentacles that the alien creature from the move, The Thing, had. But no buds. We even keep a lamp on it 12 hours a day, as the book suggested, to make sure that it has ample light.
Should I take this personally? What does this mean? Can orchids only be grown by wealthy Republicans? 
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My father has had a greenhouse full of orchids at my folk's house since 1967. (Actually, he has had two different greenhouses.) He basically waters them when they get dry, and I can't remember how often he feeds them.
My advice would be to get a greenhouse. Not only will you then have a protected and controlled environment, but they are also a wonderful place to spend time in. When my folks are out of town I love going over to tend to his plants.
Like Hans Conried (Percy Livermore) said on I Love Lucy, "I just stand there and smell".
I tend to agree with Fritz, my aunt is an orchid maniac(she is a Liberal voter here in Canada, lol!). Anyway, she seldom waters them(once every three or four weeks), and them give them a nice "bath"(clean them with water to get rid of the dust) once every few months. . . give them light(partial shades when they are full-grown). . . and oh, her orchids love tight pots, their roots need to feel cramped to bloom. . . That's it, those are the things that she has been doing and her orchids bloom just fine. . .
Best of luck!
Cheers,
D.
I love orchids but i have never tryed to grow them,maybe you are trying to hard,i have heard that classical music helps them grow,maybe just an old wifes tale,but try that,i tried to grow an african violet and i killed the poor thing,i think the humidity has alot to do with orchids too,you could try putting it in the bathroom and giving it a steam bath,anyway good luck with your orchid.
I knew an elderly lady who had a beautiful house in the Santa Barbara Riviera area. She had hundreds of orchids all over her property. They were all thriving and beautiful. When I asked her for the secret to growing orchids, she replied in her thick German accent, "Orchids are like cats. You give them what they need and then ignore them."