Practice Makes Perfect

A lesbian Methodist minister defrocked last year after admitting to living with a woman won her appeal against the church’s decision because it had not defined “practicing homosexual,” the United Methodist Church said on Friday.

She was allowed to have a lesser role in the church but could not perform ceremonies such as baptisms and weddings.

“An appeals committee has reversed a clergy court verdict in the case of Irene Elizabeth Stroud,” the statement said.

In a 14-page decision, the committee reversed both the conviction and the penalty on the technical grounds that the church has not properly defined the term “practicing homosexual.” The committee also held that the church law under which the charges were brought was a new standard that had not been formally ratified by the church authorities and so could not be used to convict Stroud. (source)

Good news for the minister. I remember reading about this last year. I took interest in it because I had been raised a Methodist. I never really thought about how they felt about homosexuality, I suppose because I was so young - around 14 years old. A year or so later, when I started having thoughts and feelings for guys, the minister gave this awful sermon about how people like me were going to hell. It was actually strange to hear him say it. He was a mild mannered man who’s sermons were about everyday things. His mannerisms were more light hearted and always seemed to have an upbeat message. But when he started talking about this subject, his voice got loud, and I could hear all the anger coming out.

So, I eventually left the church. I never returned to any church until we got to San Francisco. There, we started going to an Episcopal church called St. Gregory’s. It was quite liberal, even though much of the Episcopal church was not, on this subject.

Growing up as a music student, I was always told to practice. So, I would practice a lot. Then, when the minister stated in his sermon that “practicing homosexuals” would go to Hell, I thought to myself, “Why do they have to practice THAT?” It puzzled me. I thought, “Great!! Just Great!! Before I can do anything with anyone, I’m going to have to practice somehow and how is that going to happen in Emmett, Idaho?” I always tried to take away some message from his sermons. That day, the message I took away was, "If I get good at being a homosexual, I will no longer be practicing it. Therefore, I will not go to Hell because I will no longer be a "practicing homosexual".

I don’t practice anymore at being gay. I just... am. Deep thoughts. Dinner is ready. We are having Moussaka. And no, it’s not Japanese Moose.