Civil union announcement was a hoax
I’ve put off posting anything about this, because my initial response was one of anger. My hope was that my anger would subside and I would be able to be a bit more objective on this. Some of my thoughts when I first heard this...
We have struggled so damn hard to achieve equality for our relationships and our families. It’s not easy and people who can get married obviously have no damn clue what it is like to deal with the crap we go through every single day at work and in our daily lives, let alone try to have a good life through the nurturing of a strong family life. Wanting marriage in our life is still just a dream for us.
Everything in society is trying to say “you aren’t good enough”, “you are second rate”, “we hate you, why can’t you just go away”. We all hear it and we all feel it. I know I do. There are times, like yesterday afternoon and evening, that I just want to give up. Yesterday started out rainy and foggy. We went to breakfast, ran some errands, and came back home. We were going to go to a movie, shop for groceries, and I wanted to make a nice dinner - that was the plan. Around 1:00, the skies cleared and it got sunny. Nice. But then, I started losing my energy and my will to do anything. It was depression. I can see it coming but I can’t often stop it. I told Kent to forget about the movie because I just wasn’t feeling up to it. I sat upstairs, with a blanket over me with my eyes closed wondering if this is all there is?
I don’t make decisions when I’m like that. I know where it comes from. I know that it is what we are going through getting the best of me. So sometimes, when it does get the best of me, I just wrap myself up in a blanket, close my eyes, and ride it out. Is anyone else like this? Is it just me? I was like this the rest of the day. I watched mindless TV, without even consciously knowing or caring what I was watching.
Today, I am revisiting this entry. My feeling of anger has turned into disappointment. I read the story again and I realize that to some people, we are still just a punchline and a way to get a quick laugh. That hurts. I guess the only consolation I have is that it’s less than it used to be. I remember the days when people made jokes about gay men dieing of AIDS. They no longer do that because many people they know have had AIDS. And, it’s no longer “fashionable” to make jokes of people dieing, I suppose.
I remember the days when Eddie Murphy would make people laugh with extremely crude jokes about “faggots”. When confronted at the time, Murphy said, “...you can kiss my ass...”. Later, much later, he said that he was wrong in his attitude towards gay people.
Did Jeff West mean this as demeaning. No, I don’t believe he did. But it honestly did hurt to read this article. Maybe I should grow thicker skin, but at the age of 50 with a lifetime of struggle behind me, I don’t see that happening. Instead, I get depressed and wrap myself up in a blanket.
People should give more thought to how their actions might effect others, before taking those actions. Do you think I will live long enough to see the day that we are treated with some dignity, and not just the object of a punchline?
An announcement of a gay civil union ceremony placed in last Sunday’s MetroWest Daily News weddings page was this week revealed to be a “prank,” perpetrated by one of the two men involved.
The listing of the impending “civil union” ceremony between Jeff West and Matt Hunt was a hoax, West admitted yesterday. [...]
As it turned out, however, Matthew Hunt, the other man in the announcement and in the photo wasn’t laughing.
Though West had confirmed the announcement was bona fide when asked by a News editor before publication, his story began to unravel Wednesday, when Hunt contacted the newspaper to say the listing was a fake and that West had been behind the fake item. [...]
For gay or lesbian couples who battled for years for the right to marry, however, seeing their efforts made into a punchline bordered on offensive.
“I think many people don’t understand how seriously gay and lesbian people take the institution of marriage,” said Joshua Friedes, the advocacy director for the Freedom to Marry Coalition of Massachusetts.
“I’ve never heard of a couple sending in a fake wedding announcement to imitate a straight couple,” he said yesterday. “I think this incident is a subtle form of gay-bashing.” (source)
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No one should ever "grow thicker skin" against bigotry.
"Maybe I should grow thicker skin, but at the age of 50 with a lifetime of struggle behind me, I don’t see that happening."
I deal with the same thing. Most of my coworkers are under the age of thirty, while I'm forty-four. They use the term 'gay,' with impunity as a description of something distasteful, i.e. "Ewww, that is sooo gay!" I try to point out that such a use of the word is extremely offensive, I always get the response, "Oh, lighten up." They just don't understand. They've never tensed when they hear a group of 'straight' guys tossing around the word 'faggot.' If the people who use the word 'gay' in such a way were strangers, it would be one thing, but these are my supposed friends using the term so derogatorily. That's when it hurts.
Young men are raised believing that gay people are weak, inferior, and that there are no consequences for abusing us. We can be the butt of their jokes, the targets of their violence, and the scorn of their religions.
Sometimes, straight guys are so blinded by the propaganda they've been raised to believe that their behavior defies all reason.
A few years ago, I was going into a 7-Eleven with a friend of mine when two young guys appoached us and declared "We're going to bash you faggots."
My friend is 6'-4" and weighs about 270. He easily picked one of the guys up and tossed him through the window of the 7-Eleven like a rag doll. The other guy ran off screaming like a little girl.
I doubt that they would have tried to assault a couple of straight guys like that. But, they mistakenly believed that even a gay man twice their size wouldn't put up a fight.
I guess this was a case of two idiots who had nothing better to do with there time,so they came up with a childish plan to make fun of something we want so bad,i wonder if they have a job or if just being an idiot is there full time job,bill i know the feeling i get so depressed sometimes i just do nothing but lay in my bed and hope when i wake up it was just a bad dream,if people could walk in our shoes for just a week,maybe they would see us as more than a joke,i hope you feel better bill, you are loved in ohio,i think i have adopted you and kent as my brothers.