June 2005 Archives
New York officials have unveiled a revised design for the skyscraper that will replace the World Trade Center, following fears over security.
The Freedom Tower is being built on the site of the Twin Towers destroyed in the 11 September 2001 attacks.
Architects redesigned it after police expressed concern that the 1,776-foot (540-metre) building could be vulnerable to truck bomb attacks.
Under new plans it is further from the road and has a strengthened structure.
The redesign calls for a concrete and steel pedestal, clad in ornamental metalwork, and topped by a tower of glass.
The building is capped with a mast incorporating an antenna, which is meant to evoke the torch of the Statue of Liberty.
“This new design reflects a soaring tribute to freedom and a bedrock commitment to safety and security,” New York Governor George Pataki said. (source)
And yet, are we just building something big and bright to be just another bit target for a terrorist? Are we building this huge structure to be a memorial to those who died, and to be as functional as the World Trade Center?
It seems logical to me, that if a terrorist really wanted to make a statement, they would attack this building, on the same ground as the World Trade Center. I just worry that we are setting ourselves up for this to happen again.
I had a revelation today.
Revelation - n. Something revealed, especially a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized. (American Heritage® Dictionary)
The revelation for me was that equality is a state of mind, at least, at this point in my life. Does it matter at this point in my life that I can’t marry my partner? Some might say that I’m rationalizing about the current state of affairs in regard to our inability to marry. I can agonize over the very basic fact that I’m not viewed as being equal to my heterosexual peers, but on a very basic practical level right now in my life, why bother with it? Marriage isn’t everything in life. I’ve lived 50 years without it.
It’s true that we pay more taxes than we would if we were able to marry, but it’s not like we can’t afford it. And, we are in relatively good health, so for now, it’s not like we are going to be confronted by some hospital that will tell Kent that he can’t come in to see me, or visa versa, or have to make life or death decisions for me, or me him.
Life has so much more to offer than just marriage. I think it’s important to strive for equality, but it’s wrong to lose out on the rest of life because there is so much more to life than equality. There just is.
So, I’m going to write less on what I don’t have; marriage. In my mind, I am fully equal. The biggest question of all is this: What am I trying to be equal too?
I’m striving to have equality to the institution of marriage - an institution that fails 55% of the time; hardly something to strive for as the ultimate goal. Someday, I think we will be in a situation where the protections of marriage are very important to Kent and myself. Hopefully, by then, we will be equal citizens.
Until then, I’m going to enjoy life and have one hell of a time! Right now, that is my goal.
AUGUSTA, Maine - After a weekend push to collect signatures for a people’s veto effort, opponents of Maine’s newly enacted gay rights law said Monday they’re not sure whether they’ve collected enough to force a statewide vote this November.
Campaign leaders including the Christian Civic League of Maine and the Maine Grassroots Coalition have until Tuesday to submit the signatures of at least 50,519 voters to the secretary of state’s office. [...]
The petitions seek to force a vote on the law that prohibits discrimination in employment, housing, education, credit and public accommodations based on sexual orientation. The law is similar to previous gay-rights legislation that voters rejected in 1998 and again in 2000. (source)
Think about that. They are trying to overturn a law that makes it illegal to fire people for being gay, or denying them a place to live because they are gay. And this is Christian? This is what they want society to be?
It’s amazing. I wonder if they ever really stop to think about what they are trying to do?
Tucked into the forests of the North Carolina mountains is a gated community designed by developers for people like them.
Lesbians and gay men.
At Carefree Cove near Boone, Cathy Groene and Gina Razete are selling more than wooded lots with views of Snake Mountain. They’re marketing the freedom to walk down the road hand-in-hand, dance together at community socials, and talk unself-consciously about a same-sex partner.
Atlantan Jeanne Dolan, 53, an online college instructor, bought the concept.
“I liked the idea of living in a community where I could be open and accepted, even embraced for who I am,” she says.
Razete, 50, and Groene, 57, are pioneers in the growing business of second-home and retirement developments for lesbians and gays. Others are going up in California, New Mexico and downtown Boston.
The women are also part of a graying gay population estimated at 2 million. The number of gays and lesbians in their 50s or older is expected to swell to 5.7 million by 2020, according to a 2004 study by the Maryland-based market research publisher Packaged Facts.
Some live openly and don’t want to spend their leisure time or retirement years struggling for acceptance. Others, who have kept their sexual orientation hidden, would like to come out of the closet.
Gay and lesbian developers understand that.
“We really think of ourselves as a lifestyle company,” says Amy Errett, CEO of Olivia, a San Francisco-based travel company for lesbians that is planning a $300,000-up townhouse community in Palm Springs, Calif. (source)
Some live openly and don’t want to spend their leisure time or retirement years struggling for acceptance.
That’s what I want my retirement to be like as well. After a lifetime of worrying about who will bash my head in if I’m open about being gay, I figure that I’ve earned the right to not worry about that. If that means isolating myself away from straight people entirely to make that happen, perhaps that is what I should look to do?
Before everyone gets bent all out of shape for me saying that, please understand that I’m not saying there aren’t many straight people who aren’t accepting. But ask yourself this question. If you see a gay couple walking down the street holding hands, if you can even find one, don’t you look just a little bit more than if you see a straight couple doing it? That’s what I’m talking about, aside from the outward harassment that some insecure straight people seem bent on pushing onto gay citizens. Should we have to worry about what judgment will be made against us - good or bad?
Acceptance, true acceptance, means that I shouldn’t have to even stop to worry about how or if someone will accept me as a gay man. That’s where the gay retirement community comes from. There was a time that I would not like the idea of isolating ourselves from society. I believe that we should all live together in peace and harmony. But, if there’s one thing that has taught me that we aren’t ready for that as a society, it is the gay marriage issue.
If I were a younger man, I’d brace myself for yet another fight. First it was the struggle of high school, and if you’ve read this blog, you all know how well that turned out. Then it was some issues that happened in college. Then, it was San Francisco and AIDS. AIDS was less harsh a reality for us than the fact that people wanted us to die. Now, it’s gay marriage.
In my mail, I keep getting these mailings from the AARP (American Association of Retired Persons). Let me tell you, that’s a real eye opener. When you turned 50, you will start getting their mailings. They will offer you discounts based upon being a member of their organization. My problem is that I’m not ready to “come out” as a man who is getting older. But when that happens, I would like to find myself in a place where I feel loved and accepted. If I have to live in a gay retirement ghetto for that to happen, I suppose I could do worse.
We are in Washington, D.C. once again. Kent has a meeting here. I came along for the trip. We are staying at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, which is really nice, if you like lots of marble.
We arrived early yesterday afternoon. I’ll go back home Monday, and Kent will continue on with his meetings. This afternoon, Kent wanted to catch up on reading and do some writing, so I took the opportunity to go to a nearby Spa. I went to the Piaf Salon (yes, their website sucks, but the salon and spa are good), where I got a facial and a manicure. It was a nice treat to myself, and you should see my nails!
Tonight we had dinner at a restaurant called DC Coast. It was right across the street from our hotel, but was very highly rated. The restaurant is well done and I found the naked mermaid particularly provocative as we entered the restaurant.
I had the double pork chop, which was a really well known choice on their menu (which is probably why I’m up not and can’t sleep). I’m just not used to rich foods like that anymore. I did think it was a bit odd thought that she asked me how I would like that prepared. She asked if I would like it more medium rare. I always thought that you had to cook pork well.
Tomorrow, we are going to the arboretum. Neither of us has been there before. We have seen the monuments before, but I’d like to revisit the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam Memorial, just a short way away, and the World War II memorial, which was not completed when I last visited the city. The last time I was here, I didn’t have my new Nikon D70. It will be interesting to see what I can do with it, especially in places like the Lincoln Memorial, with limited light.
This town is an amazing place.
I spotted this online and it reminded me what it was like when we lived in The Castro in San Francisco. We could be ourselves there. We didn’t have to worry about how others saw us. We didn’t have to worry about judgment. It was easier. I miss the Castro in many ways.
So the question was put, “Is San Francisco still a gay mecca? Yeah, pretty much ... but if someday it wasn’t, would that be so terrible?”
I remember shortly before leaving The Castro and moving to The East, there were rumors that The Castro was becoming less gay - that straights were moving in. I didn’t believe it. Then, one day while I was walking down The Castro, my worse fear was realized. A woman and a man were walking down the street holding a stroller, with a baby in it no less!
I felt like this one little place on this planet where I could be exactly what I am was melting away right before my eyes. So, I left San Francisco and The Castro behind a long time ago, thinking that The Castro would soon disappear.
To answer the question, “Is San Francisco still a gay mecca? Yeah, pretty much ... but if someday it wasn’t, would that be so terrible?” Well, I guess that depends on your point of view. In a perfect world, hell not even perfect... I’d settle for one where it’s “live and let live”, there would not be the need for places like The Castro.
People say that things are getting better. But for who? Nothing has changed for me and people like me. Perhaps we are beaten and killed a bit less, but if I go anywhere with Kent and I hold his hand, I will guarantee you that within two minutes, someone will call us faggots (if we are lucky), or throw something at us or do physical damage (if we are unlucky). I’m sorry, but that isn’t live and let live.
We live in a nation where we are accepted, as long as we are willing to play by the rules. That means, we have to look as straight as humanly possible and under no circumstances are we to ever show affection in public. We can’t be ourselves. It’s a matter of survival actually. It’s honestly something that most straight people can not comprehend. That is what it’s like to be gay in America today.
This is the best the “greatest free nation in the world” has to offer?
What happens to the brave queers who are defiant and publicly open about themselves? Here’s a sample for you, and this was just in the last week or so.
Gay Murder Victim - London
Arrest made in Brooklyn gay murder case
Murder in Chicago
Gay man found stabbed
Jury considers gay panic defense in Pa. murder case
So when people say it’s getting better, it’s not. People are more open as time goes on because the older you get (like me), you start to realize just what you’ve been robbed of. You start to wonder what you could have been if you had really been allowed to bloom.
We read all the time that young gay people are addicted more and more to Crystal Meth, taking their lives, or not caring if they get AIDS, all because they honestly don’t want to go through all they crap of what society dishes out to them. I know. I’ve been there. And then, society has the gall to look at the problem and say, “See, it’s the ‘gay lifestyle’ that causes that.”
I have been free in my life for about two years. When we lived in The Castro and Kent and I would walk down Castro and I proudly had my arm around him showing everyone, “This is the man I am so in love with.”, that was freedom. I was at the top of the world. I thought it would last. That moment was worth it, even though, on our way home, we were taunted by a gay basher who first asked us, “Are you homosexuals?” We said nothing and kept walking. He then said, “Are you two queers?”
There were other times, such as the time we stopped at a yard sale on Noe Street. There were a few other straight couples there. We weren’t far from The Castro. I was holding Kent’s hand, and as we passed a young straight couple, the male turn around and said out loud, “Faggots!”. We ignored him and continued to look. But, it takes it’s toll on you. It also does a job on your ego. You know you aren’t like everyone else and you know that everyone else hates what you are. So, even that wasn’t freedom, but it was the closest I’ve ever come to it.
Today, there are only very small pockets of freedom that can only be found in small gay ghettos here and there or on a gay cruise. And everyday on the Internet, I read of more gay people killed or maimed because they were a little too open.
Life is a compromise, and we’ve compromised way too much.
From an entry I made on October 9, 2003...
So, if you are gay and look at external sources to give you validation, I’m afraid it’s just not going to be there. You have to find it in yourself. I have concentrated on my family. My family consists of Kent, my two cats, and a couple of close friends. That’s all. I haven’t been too successful in gaining acceptance from my family or Kent’s family. It’s the same way with most gay people I believe. You have to really work at making an island of acceptance. Why is it then that we are surprised when we find that so many young gay men find their life valueless? The answer is right before our eyes. Because we, as a society have told them that they have no value.
Nothing has changed.
(Lynchburg, Virginia) Evangelist Jerry Falwell is calling on his followers to threaten Kraft Foods with a national boycott over the company’s support for the Gay Games.
Last month the American Family Association began a campaign against Kraft Foods for its sponsorship of the event, but stopped just short of advocating a boycott. (story)
In his monthly column, in his publication National Liberty Journal, Falwell says that “multiple millions of Americans who loyally purchase Kraft products have a right to express their opinion on the company’s decision to link itself with the Gay Games. These people have a right to say, ‘If Kraft insists on sponsoring the Gay Games, I will be compelled to seek alternative brands at the grocery store.’” (source)
I say let Falwell start looking for another brand then. It’s not enough that in 1986 the International Olympic Committee (IOC) successfully challenged in court my community’s use of the term “Gay Olympics”. It was decided that we would never be able to use the term “Olympic” again. Today, because of that decision, we use the term “Gay Games”. Yet, we still have the “Frog Olympics”, “Special Olympics”, and my favorite, the “K-9 Olympics”.
Falwell and his ilk want us to have nothing. Ford, along with other companies have been under attack because they favor diversity in the workplace. So far Ford has held it’s ground. Disney never gave them much consideration.
Related Article
A delicate balance - Companies strive for gay-friendliness, religious tolerance
I talked with one of my friends on line last night. This was the same friend who I tried to support after he broke up with his boyfriend a couple of months ago. It’s been tough on him, I think. I say, “I think”, because I’m not sure if he is what he says he is anymore. I no longer trust anything he says.
According to him, his boyfriend told him that he wanted to break up with him. He was devastated. I supported him the best I could. He moved to a new place with a lesbian couple. He needed money for clothes and such, and, like the friend I always try to be for everyone, I sent him money. I try to be there for my friends.
Then, there was a period of time, when we were on vacation, that I didn’t talk to him. Last night, I talked with him for the first time in several weeks. Now, he has moved to a new place, and has a new boyfriend. But, they are about to be evicted because he says, “we’re being kicked out because we’re gay” because the landlords “ex-wife doesn’t want their kids to be around gay people so we have until the 1st (9 days) to find a place or we’re homeless”.
I mentioned to him that in California (where he lives), it is illegal to evict people because of sexual orientation. He said he realized this, but it was “easier” to just move.
I was dumbfounded. Here, you have a law in place (that was put in place by the very hard work of a lot of people), to protect gay people from this sort of thing. Then, you have a gay couple who isn’t even willing to fight an eviction based on the fact that they are being evicted for being gay. It blows my mind. If we don’t care enough about our rights to fight for them, why the hell should anyone else? I’m going to have to think about that one for awhile.
And, to top it off, he has a Paypal donation button on his site for people to “help out”. I think that was what did it for me. I saw the Paypal button, and remembered the money we sent to him to help him out. Was he ever real? Did I, or at least the friendship I offered him, ever mean anything to him? Is he even capable of understanding friendship?
I feel at this point that I’ve been taken advantage of, and I’m truly very disappointed. He’s a young man who is struggling (at least I think - how the hell does anyone really know who they are talking to on the Internet?), and I only tried to help him.
I don’t honestly care that much about the money I gave him. Money to me is cheap. But I feel betrayed because I don’t offer friendship easily - it is not a cheap or casual thing to me. It is sacred. It is because of my views on friendship that I have taken people into our home to help them out. I have reached out to people. And most of them, once they are done with my generosity, discard the friendship like it was yesterday’s news.
So, I guess I’ve learned a lesson. I’m going to stop trusting anyone on line. As of this moment, I’m going to stop helping people. DON’T EVEN THINK OF ASKING ME FOR MONEY. And if I don’t know you, don’t instant message me offering to “talk” because you will be put on ignore. I honestly don’t need your drama or your bullshit. I’m done with helping people, online at least. Before I will ever trust another person with my friendship, I will have to know you in real life. And then, the friendship and trust must be earned. It’s no longer given away freely.
To the few of you who I feel are good honest people that I’ve come to know, I thank you for your friendship and I value that. And, to those people, I’m sorry for this rant.
Life goes on...
The essence of friendship is entireness, a total magnanimity and trust. It must not surmise or provide for infirmity. It treats its object as a god, that it may deify both.
That may have been true in 1841 when Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote his Essay on Friendship, but in 2005, friendship seems to be something that is merely experienced by an idiot, full of sound and fury...
signifying nothing.
Signed,
Bill, someone who no longer puts trust in people or weight on friendship.
(Cleburne, Texas) A 19 year old who participated in an attack on a gay high school student - beaten so badly he needed reconstructive face surgery - has been sentenced to probation.
Billy Calahan, 19, was the last of three teens to be sentenced for the attack last fall. He pleaded guilty to assault with bodily injury because of bias or prejudice.
The charge usually carries a maximum of one year in jail. (source)
I swear, if anyone did to my kid what these three did to that boy, there'd be no need for probabtion, if you get my drift.
I can imagine someone saying this in Germany in the 1930’s. This is how it starts. We in America just go about our everyday lives, if you are part of mainstream America. If you aren’t, you are left wondering from day to day how and when things are going to get worse. But then, you tell yourself that there’s only so far they can go with eroding the rights and liberties of a minority. Then you read something like this...
After a gay-themed exhibit at a Tampa-area public library prompted complaints in early June, Hillsborough County, Florida, commissioners adopted a policy June 15 to “abstain from acknowledging, promoting, or participating” in any gay pride recognition or events. The board passed the proposal 5-1 after minimal discussion, despite many pleas from gay-rights advocates during an earlier public comment period, the June 16 St. Petersburg Times reported. [...]
County attorneys questioned Commissioner Ronda Storms on whether the new policy banned exhibits of books on gay issues or books by gay authors at libraries, but Storms replied only that the language was clear. To a question about gay student groups using library meeting rooms, Storms answered, “We’re not saying that because of your sexual orientation you can’t come into the library.” (source)
No one thinks anything of it because, after all, we are only talking about some gays who want to actually take pride in themselves. America goes on without noticing, or caring.
I’m left wondering if this is what happened in Germany. Here in America we have some truly very scary people. All you have to do to realize this is to read this blog, which has turned into something much darker than I would like. I apologize for that. I too sometimes hate coming here because I know it is dark. My writing is a direct reflection of my feelings. I don’t hide what I’m feeling and I don’t bullshit around the issues. If I feel like crap, I’m going to say that.
But all of that aside, aside from what I think is so important - my feelings, what really is worrying me is the apathy in America towards gay and lesbian citizens. America, this has happened before. Gay and lesbian citizens in America today are the Jews in Germany, seventy years ago. Don’t believe me? Read that last sentence again: “We’re not saying that because of your sexual orientation you can’t come into the library.” That will come, in time. And by the time it comes, our government will have become a theocracy, and your chance to speak up against the movement will have come and past.
Think about it. I’m not a Jew and I wasn’t in Nazi Germany seventy years ago, but this guy was...
One of our neighbors is moving. I’ve been in this neighborhood for about six years now, but didn’t really know them very well at all - just waves and nods, mostly.
So I heard the moving van pull up this morning. When I got home this evening I happened to spy my neighbor (he’s like 85 years old - I don’t know exactly, but he’s old, talks and moves very slowly) standing on the sidewalk next to the van. I walked over and shook his hand, and we started talking. I asked him where he was moving, and he said, “Back to Germany.”
I had been stationed in Germany for two years while in the military, so I lit up, and commented about how beautiful the country was, and inquired if he was going back because he missed it.
“No,” he answered me. “I’m going back because I’ve seen this before.” He then commenced to explain that when he was a kid, he watched with his family in fear as Hitler’s government committed atrocity after atrocity, and no one was willing to say anything. He said the news refused to question the government, and the ones who did were not in the newspaper business much longer. He said good neighbors, people he had known all his life, turned against his family and other Jews, grabbing on to the hate and superiority “as if they were starved for it” (his words). (source)
And here I have been wondering if I’m still a good American, contemplating on leaving my country. There have been others just like me, in the past.
Updates
July 12, 2005 - Tennessee Launches New Investigation Into Ex-Gay Camp
June 28, 2005 - Investigation Into Ex-Gay Camp Ends
July 15, 2005 - Father Of Gay Teen Sent To 'Ex-Gay' Camp Comes Forward
July 15, 2005 - New blog entry
I read about Zach last night. It’s quite unbelievable what he is now going through. In short, a few weeks ago, he told his parents that he is gay. Zach is a 16 year old boy living in Bartlett, Tennessee. After he told his parents about being gay, they entered him into an ex-gay ministry called Refuge. This from the Refuge website:
Refuge is a ministry designed to be a safe place for young people and their families to find true freedom from addictions through the power of Jesus Christ. At this time Refuge is an outpatient program for young men and women ages 13-18. Refuge is designed to minister to adolescents struggling with broken and addictive behaviors such as...
Pornography
Refuge promotes change among clients through the use of theraputic groups, individual counseling and family support. The effectivness of Refuge is greatly increased when the participants are willing to work with their counselor and parents, follow the program structure, study the materials, and build relationships.
Their contact information is:
Refuge
P.O. Box 171444
Memphis, TN 38187
Phone: 901-751-2468
I first heard about this on the Washington Blade website. I’m outraged about this, but like most of you, I feel helpless to do anything for this kid. It’s quite beyond my understanding how anyone could treat their child in this manner. Just read Zach’s words, and you can hear the desperation come through.
I hope that Zach survives this. I hope he channels his anger down the road and files a lawsuit against those who did this, namely his parents and Refuge, based on a charge of child abuse, and a denial of his constitutional rights. Basically, he’s been kidnapped against his will, and is being re-programmed. And I hope to God that Zach doesn’t commit suicide during this ordeal.
The following is the blog entry from Zach’s blog after he told his parents.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
The World Coming To An Abrupt - Stop.
Current mood: depressed
Somewhat recently, as many of you know, I told my parents I was gay. This didn’t go over very well, and it ended with my dad crying, my mom tearing, and me not knowing what I’d done - or what to do. It kind of.. went away for about a week or two I think. They claim it’s beause they didn’t want to interfere with my last week or two of school.
Yesterday they told me that I couldn’t go anywhere until I got a job. Out of the blue. Because I’m the most irresponsible child my dad knows - as he told me - mainly because I forget to unload the dishwasher sometimes... it doesn’t matter that I have to clean up after my sisters and myself everyday. It just doesn’t.
Well today, my mother, father, and I had a very long “talk” in my room where they let me know I am to apply for a fundamentalist christian program for gays. They tell me that there is something psychologically wrong with me, and they “raised me wrong.” I’m a big screw up to them, who isn’t on the path God wants me to be on. So I’m sitting here in tears, joing the rest of those kids who complain about their parents on blogs - and I can’t help it.
I wish I had never told them. I wish I just fought the urge two more years... I had done it for three before then, right? If I could take it all back.. I would, to where I never told my parents things and they always were mad at me-- It’s better than them crying and depressed cause they will have no granchildren from me. It’s better than them telling me that there’s something wrong with me. It’s better than them explaining to me that they “raised me wrong.”
Then, came the next entry the very next day.
Monday, May 30, 2005
After The World Stopped, It Gave Me A Lot Of Rules.
Current mood: worried
Yeah, I was upset yesterday.. however I found an email about the rules and regulations of the program. My parents lied to me.. they told me (29th of May) that they didn’t know what the rules were exactly, however, this email wasnt sent on the 26th of May. I see now why they “didn’t know what the rules were.” It’s horrible.. they’re posted below.. and I so worried. It’s like boot camp... but worse. I obviously was not supposed to see this.. Seeing the bottom say “Parental Rules (not to be given to client)”
What is with these people...? Honestly.. how could you support a program like this? If I do come out straight I’ll be so mentally unstable and depressed it wont matter.. I’ll be back in therapy again. This is not good--
The final entry from Zach came on Friday, June 3, 2005. He hasn’t been heard from since. There were two entries that day, the first at 10:43pm and the last at 11:33pm.
Friday, June 03, 2005 - 10:43pm
It’s been a week of torture - anger, and crying.
Current mood: worried
Hi. I’m not sure if I’m even supposed to be on. I ran away for a short while. I came back and they took everything from me, they don’t want me to have outside influences-- i dont know how long im going to be on, because if tehy wake up, im screwed. The program starts June 6 and is until either teh 17th or the 20th. I’m sorry I don’t have time to write back o all of the comments and messages. I’m just here to let everyone know I am still alive, I’m sure you’ve left messages on my cellphone, they took that.. and my keys... and the computer.. and I’ve been homebound. -=sigh=- I just need this to be over. Don’t worry. I’ll get through this. They’ve promised me things will get better whether this program does anything or not. Let’s hope they aren’t lying. I’ve been through hell. I’ve been emotionally torn apart for three days... I can’t remember which days they were.. time’s not what it used to be.
Friday, June 03, 2005 - 11:33pm
Thanks.. by the way.
Current mood: numbThanks. Thank you for all of the comments and messages, they mean a lot. really. I was shocked to see all of this... of course I haven’t been on a computer, phone, nor have I seen any friends in a week almost-- Soon. Soon, this will be all over. My mother has said the worst things to me for three days straight... three days. I went numb. That’s the only way I can get through this. I agree, if you’re thinking that these posts might be dramatized.. but the proof of the programs ideas are sitting in the rules. I pray this blows over. I can’t take this... noone can... not really, this kind of thing tears you apart emotionally. To introduce THIS subject... I’m not a suicidal person... really I’m not.. I think it’s stupid - really. But.. I can’t help it, no im not going to commit suicide, all I can think about is killing my mother and myself. It’s so horrible. This is what it’s doing to me... I have this horrible feeling all of the time... I wish this on no person... I’m so satisfied--happy’s too strong of a word the state I’m in-- that everyone’s taking the time to email and write letters in complaint to these people. I dont know if it will do anything, but if something did happen it would be -- awesome.
I've been feeling a bit blah (is that a word?) today. Actually, I had several episodes on vacation with a molar that had a severe pain every time I would drink anything cold. I ignored it. Today, it was hurting while I was drinking warm coffee. My dentist wanted to see me right away.
So, I get there around noon. He does some testing and does an X-ray. He comes back in and tells me that I have in infection in progress. He also said that the nerve in my molar was infected and would die. That was the pain I am feeling now. The infection happened because the molar apparently is cracked.
So, it will have to completely be replaced and I will be looking at a root canal. Fun fun! I was in a fair amount of pain when I left his office. He gave me a prescription for the infection, and some Percocet for the pain today. The plan is that the pain will go away as the antibiotic works, so no more need for Percocet - although I have to admit, when you take Percocet and listen to Maria Callas, it's like you are singing with her. Totally awesome. In fact, I thought she was in the room with me. Also, Kent said he called me this afternoon, but I have no memory of the phone call.
I think I've had enough narcotics for awhile. I like to have my wits about me and be in control of my life.
Another increasingly unpopular war, in Iraq, is largely responsible for making it harder for Army recruiters to find 80,000 more young Americans who are willing to serve their country from a pool of some 60 million candidates ages 18 to 35.
“The biggest problem today is parents,” said Staff Sgt. Kenneth Bishop, an Iraq war-veteran recruiter based in High Ridge, Mo. “A lot of young men and women want to enlist, but their parents are afraid for them.”
Or as Sgt. 1st Class Timothy Waud, a career recruiter based in Simi Valley, Calif., put it: “(Parents) say they don’t want to send their son or daughter off into danger. There’s a lot of misconceptions about Iraq. Frankly, percentage-wise you face more of a risk driving on the freeways out here.” (source)
Yeah, we all read about all the “misconceptions” on Iraq every day in the news; about all the car bombs, suicide bombers, and the daily tally of our dead soldiers.
I wonder if Sgt. Waud has been to Iraq? It’s easy to say such things sitting in a recruiting office in Simi Valley, California.
Related article
'Don't ask, don't tell' under attack
Despite Vice President Dick Cheney's confident assertion two weeks ago that the insurgency was in its “last throes,” the story featured one particularly telling observation from a U.S. officer who works with the task force overseeing training of Iraqi troops, regarding how easy it was for the insurgency to replenish its forces. “We can’t kill them,” he said. “When I kill one, I create three.” (source)
I had planned to go to New Paltz, NY last Sunday for gay pride. But after I got home from a week of travel, the idea of getting into my car for more travel was too much.
I wanted to see Jason West and to celebrate being... me. You know, the whole year we hear how much our country hates us, and we hear all the nasty legislation that is being passed to keep us down. And we hear that the military still wants to kick out gay military personnel, just not while there is a war on - I guess we are good enough to die for our country while we are needed. I wanted one day where it was “ok” to be me - out in the open - without judgments. That is what I think of as “gay pride”.
I’ve read other opinions of gay pride from right-wing sites. Some say that it is a perversion for us to display ourselves in such a celebratory way. They wonder why there is a need and, if gays have a day of celebration, why don’t Germans, for example, have a day of “German Pride”, etc.
It’s amazing how they just don’t understand human nature. People do what they have to do to survive. I believe that part of that survival is to feel good about your very existence. The need for Gay Pride happened because, unlike American citizens who happen to be German, you don’t see people bashing or killing them for being German, harassing them in schools for being German, legislators passing amendments to state constitutions saying that people of German ancestry can’t get married, can’t be openly German to serve in the military, or banning books from libraries because they have "German" content, etc. With all of that specifically targeting my community, if they don’t understand the need for us to have something that pulls us together and tells us, “you have each other - as a community”, then they will never understand us, let alone human nature.
So, I wanted to go to New Paltz. Why New Paltz, and not Boston or New York? Because, New Paltz is today the center of what I call the Stonewall Spirit. When Mayor West started marrying same-sex couples over a year ago, he did so in defiance of the law. In other words, he said, “Enough of this!”. That is exactly what happened when the police raided the Stonewall Inn in 1969, which resulted in the Stonewall Riots.
New Paltz is the epitome of our community rising to this challenge. Jason West is facing prosecution for carrying out the act (marriage) that makes us equal. I don’t see it as just Jason. To me, he represents our community under attack. He, a straight man, had the courage and the will to stick up for us, the most hated minority in this nation. Shouldn’t we be asking ourselves why so many of us don’t care as passionately about our community as Jason West?
No one wants to ask that. But quite frankly, in the gay community, many of us worry more about the way we look than worry about putting our asses on the line when someone turns up the heat.
Jason will most likely face the loss of his job, fines, and perhaps jail time. Does that mean nothing to us? It means a lot to me. I am humbled by this man - a man of only 26 years old. I expected someone who is gay to do this - someone with a lot on the line for equality. But Jason puts his conscience above all of that. Truly quite remarkable when you think that he has absolutely nothing to gain by doing this act of courage.
We have other allies as well. What about all the straight couples who are now refusing to be married until gay couples have the right to marry. Yes, they are out there. I read about them. And there are others who get married and state that they feel awkward about getting married and receiving all the rights and privileges of marriage, when many citizens do not have that option. The fact that we are even in their consciousness should mean something.
Then there are ministers who are now refusing to even perform weddings, stating that they will once again perform weddings when gay couples can be married.
So, that to me is Gay Pride. It’s not always about showing how beautiful you can be in a damn parade. Sometimes, it means sacrifice. Sometimes, it means principles. I think in many ways, we are losing site of that.
We have leaders who are willing to say, “The line must be drawn here, and no further!”, to quote a line from Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek). Take Cheryl Jacques, for example. She was the leader of the Human Rights Campaign fund. When the states, one by one, started passing constitutional amendments against gay marriage, she said, and I'm paraphrasing, “NO! We will not be second class citizens. Civil Unions are not an option - not even on the board. Anything less than marriage is not equality.” For that attitude, what did they do? They fired her. They replaced her with someone more “moderate” who would be reasonable (kiss ass with the best of them), and not make waves. The decided to endorse “civil unions” until the time was right (10-15 years later), to go for equality (marriage). I decided to cancel my membership.
I don’t know which is worse; the people who openly pass hateful amendments against us, or this cancer of reconciliation to second-class citizenship within our own community. There are things in life worth putting everything on the line for. If dignity and equality aren’t right at the top of your list, you’ve lost the meaning of PRIDE. Jason West and Cheryl Jacques has it. They get it.
Jason has a book out. The title: Dare to Hope - Saving American Democracy. That says it all. You have to give people hope - hope for a brighter future.
I read this on Andrew Sullivan’s site. I find myself disagreeing with Andrew often, but found this to be right on. It’s an older article - posted before I was blogging.
Would any heterosexual in America believe he had a right to pursue happiness if he could not marry the person he loved? What would be more objectionable to most people--to be denied a vote in next November’s presidential election or to no longer have legal custody over their child or legal attachment to their wife or husband? Not a close call.
For the fourth month in a row the military has failed to meet its recruitment quotas and less than one-quarter of all discharges under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” are from units deployed in support of war operations, suggesting the services are far less likely to discharge gays and lesbians serving on the frontlines when replacement troops are hard to come by. (source)
Shocking.
And then of course, this...
Data from Europe suggests that national recognition of same-sex partnerships leads to significant reductions in syphilis rates, according to a new study by a Swarthmore College economist.
“The evidence shows these laws could dramatically reduce risky sexual behavior and the social costs of some sexually transmitted infections,” says Thomas Dee, an assistant professor of economics. “However, the results may be even more important because of what they suggest are the likely effects of gay marriage on the degree of personal commitment in same-sex relationships.” (source)
Don’t you find it strange that people are surprised that the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases goes down when relationships are socially recognized? It’s an interesting study, but one that I find totally logical.
If you are told that society does not recognize your relationship or hold it in any regard, why should anyone, including ourselves, honor it? The answer is, in many cases, the relationship is viewed by those in the relationship just as society sees it - a second class relationship that is not worth supporting.
If we are all totally honest, we will admit that there are times when it seems like we should just give up. Why be committed at all if no one else gives a damn. Many couples will fall into this. Many will not be monogamous, and that’s too bad.
I firmly believe that if society would give us equality and a ceremony to honor our vows to one another, it would make a huge difference. It is important. Any heterosexual couple who has looked each other in the eyes and taken their vows will tell you, it’s important.
Hi everyone!
It’s great to be back home again. We got home yesterday afternoon. We opened the door, and were greeted by two very lonely cats and a pile of mail almost a foot thick. I never realized that we received that much mail. Anyway, we sorted through it all, I went to the store, and we made a great meal last night - just the two of us relaxing after an exhausting vacation. I thought vacations were supposed to be relaxing. I’m going to also take tomorrow off just to finish up a few items.
I’m also going to be posting a few photos (quite a few) that I took on vacation in the next day or so. I thought you might get a kick out of a couple of bumper stickers I spotted while in Maine. They caught my eye.
We also stayed at this awesome bed and breakfast (they are a big thing in the East) called The Inn at Bath. Click here to see a few photos. The upper-left photo is the inn itself from the street. The upper-right photo is the dining room, and yes, the color was awesome! The bottom photo is the East Room, where we stayed.
I haven’t been writing much lately because we are on vacation up in Maine this week. We have been in Ogunquit on the coast for the last few days, and are on our way up to the Bath, Maine area for the rest of the week.
I’ve made it a point NOT to surf the Internet that much to see what’s going on (other than weather conditions). I’ve decided that I don’t want to be bothered right now with it. Although, I did get an email about the good people who now want to water down the Connecticut Civil Unions bill (to exclude religious institutions from honoring it) - before the bill even becomes law. I felt I had to say something about that. People still amaze me, and most of the time, not for the better.
But I’m not going to let that dampen my spirits. I’ve shut them out this week and we are enjoying the awesome beauty of this place.
I’m sure I’ll be writing more next week, after I get home.
URGENT NOTICE!!!
Opponents of civil union and marriage equality have just filed an amendment that would exempt “religious employers” from the civil union law: “...no religious employer shall be required to provide benefits to a domestic or civil union partner of an employee.”
What this means is that employees of religiously-affiliated hospitals, universities and schools, in addition to employees at individual places of worship, would be denied access to important rights and protections such as family leave or health insurance if they had a civil union or domestic partnership.
Employers should not be able to opt out of important anti-discrimination laws they don’t agree with.
It is unfair to the thousands of employees in same-sex relationships who work in Catholic hospitals or schools to be denied important rights and protections that come with civil unions.
If you are a Connecticut resident, ask your legislators to vote against this amendment in any form, on any bill. Don’t let those who oppose civil unions gut the intent of the legislation before the session is over.
The full wording of the amendment is as follows:
General Assembly Amendment January Session, 2005
LCO No. 7494
*SB0114707494SRO*
Offered by:
SEN. DELUCA, 32nd Dist.SEN. KISSEL, 7th Dist.
To: Subst. Senate Bill No. 1147
File No. 710
Cal. No. 493
(As Amended by Senate Amendment Schedule "A")"AN ACT CONCERNING EMPLOYEE HEALTH SECURITY."
Strike subdivision (1) of section 1 in its entirety and substitute the following in lieu thereof:
"(1) "Dependent" means the spouse, domestic partner, minor child of an employee, or child eighteen years of age or over who is dependent on the employee, provided, no religious employer shall be required to provide benefits to a domestic or civil union partner of an employee. As used in this subdivision, "religious employer" means an employer that is a "qualified church-controlled organization", as defined in 26 USC 3121 or a church-affiliated organization;"
I was asked to provide the exact wording of the Connecticut Civil Union Law that will go into effect on October 1, 2005. The full text of the bill is given below:
Public Act No. 05-10
AN ACT CONCERNING CIVIL UNIONS.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives in General Assembly convened:
Section 1. (NEW) (Effective October 1, 2005) For the purposes of sections 1 to 15, inclusive, of this act:
(1) "Civil union" means a union established pursuant to sections 1 to 15, inclusive, of this act between two eligible persons; and
(2) "Party to a civil union" means a person who has established a civil union pursuant to sections 1 to 15, inclusive, of this act.
Sec. 2. (NEW) (Effective October 1, 2005) A person is eligible to enter into a civil union if such person is:
(1) Not a party to another civil union or a marriage;
(2) Of the same sex as the other party to the civil union;
(3) Except as provided in section 10 of this act, at least eighteen years of age; and
(4) Not prohibited from entering into a civil union pursuant to section 3 of this act.
Rachel Rogers, a single mother of four in upstate New York, did not worry about the presence of National Guard recruiters at her son’s high school until she learned that they taught students how to throw hand grenades, using baseballs as stand-ins. For the last month she has been insisting that administrators limit recruiters’ access to children.
Orlando Terrazas, a former truck driver in Southern California, said he was struck when his son told him that recruiters were promising students jobs as musicians. Mr. Terrazas has been trying since September to hang posters at his son’s public school to counter the military’s message.
Meanwhile, Amy Hagopian, co-chairwoman of the Parent-Teacher-Student Association at Garfield High School in Seattle, has been fighting against a four-year-old federal law that requires public schools to give military recruiters the same access to students as college recruiters get, or lose federal funding. She also recently took a few hours off work to stand beside recruiters at Garfield High and display pictures of injured American soldiers from Iraq.
“We want to show the military that they are not welcome by the P.T.S.A. in this building,” she said. “We hope other P.T.S.A.’s will follow.”
Two years into the war in Iraq, as the Army and Marines struggle to refill their ranks, parents have become boulders of opposition that recruiters cannot move. (source)
I understand how they feel. But I see the whole thing of military recruiting a bit differently. For years now, since Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell went into effect, I always thought that it was unfair that military recruiters were allowed onto college campuses despite the objections of the college or university involved. Many colleges and universities have policies that prevent discrimination against their students. Well, that doesn’t apply to military recruiters who abide by the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.
And if the school tries to enforce their policy and prevent recruiters from recruiting on their campus, they will sooner rather than later face the very real possibility that they will loose not only their state funding, but federal funding as well. This is all because of the Solomon Act *.
So, many of these institutions quickly cave in to the government for fear of loosing their funding. I can’t honestly say I blame them, but, a principle is a principle, is it not? It either means something, or it doesn’t. If it means something, then you push it until it gives and you stand by your convictions. Most schools don’t honestly feel that their gay students are worth it. Some schools are challenging the Solomon Act - cases are pending and the Supreme Court will be hearing the case.
In the meantime, we have this issue with the parents suddenly not wanting military recruiters in their school. They don’t want their sons and daughters recruited into the military, especially when the military recruiters are lying to them about the benefits of being in the military. For the record, none of this is new. Military recruiters will tell you everything you want to hear to get you to sign up. They are on a quota system.
I have read that the Army now has a “special” going on where you can sign up for 15 months. That’s all, just 15 months, and you are out. Bull! What they don’t tell you (small little point), is that there is an executive “stop loss” order in effect. That basically means that at the end of that 15 month period, the military has the ability to override what your enlistment contract says because a stop-loss order has been issued because of the war in Iraq.
There’s even talk now of relaxing or doing away with Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Not because we suddenly want to be fair, but because the military desperately needs people - better the gays go to war to die for a country who really doesn’t want them to begin with (judging by the way our country treats us), than your precious sons.
And after this war is over, I’m sure there will be talks of “reinstating” Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. This is what we are dealing with here - an entity, our military, who will tell anyone anything they want to hear just to get bodies in their ranks.
So, how does it feel parents? My community has fought for years to have dignity and equality in the armed forces. The only thing we have asked is to be able to not violate the Military Code of Conduct by lying about what we are. It’s ironic. The second a gay man or woman takes that oath, they are in violation of that oath because they are not telling the whole truth. The military knows this. The individuals know this. All of you know this. But I guess it’s ok to lie, in some circumstances.
But when it comes time that your sons and daughters are looking at joining the military, suddenly, you want the military to actually tell you the truth?
Why should you have the privilege of living by a higher standard than any queer in the military today? The homosexuals lie to stay in the military. You seem to be OK with that. The military recruiters lie to your kids to get them in. You seem to have a problem with that.
People are so damn self-serving. I suppose people will say that about me - bitching about people in my community being kicked out just for trying to be honest. Hell, all I want is fairness. That’s all. Am I asking too much from our military and you, the parents reading this?
If honesty is good enough for you, it is surely good enough for homosexuals who want only to serve their country openly and honestly. And who knows... if you call your congressman and ask them to let the homosexuals openly serve so they can go and die in this war, it may just save the life of your son.
* Solomon Act references
March 26, 2005 - Yale Law School Stands Up Against Discrimination
December 7, 2004 - A Less Intrusive Government
November 30, 2004 - Appeals court overturns the Solomon Act
Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Sunday will sign legislation sending to voters this fall a proposed amendment to the state Constitution to ban same-sex marriage.
Rather than putting his name to the bill in his office Perry has decided to sign the document at Calvary Christian Academy in Forth Worth.
The decision has angered moderates in the state who say the governor is blurring the line separating church and state.
“As I recall, Jesus threw the money changers out of the temple, and I wonder how long it will be before people of faith get fed up with opportunistic political campaigning in their houses of worship,” said Kathy Miller, president of the Texas Freedom Network.
Perry counters that the church school is the appropriate venue for “values-related issues.” (source)
What can I say? Governor Perry is a man after President Bush’s heart. They are right from the same mold.
I think it’s very telling about the character of this governor. He wears the power of the governorship on one sleeve and the Christian Right on the other sleeve. I wonder if he can really tell where one ends and the other begins?
When the Human Rights Campaign holds its annual fundraiser in Utah this weekend it will be without the support of one of the region’s biggest banks.
Zions Bank had signed on as a sponsor of the HRC dinner in Orem, a suburb of Provo, but just days before the formal dinner featuring Tipper Gore is to be held, the bank pulled out.
Zions Bank spokesperson Robert Brough said the decision was made after the company began receiving anonymous phone calls from people saying the event supported gay marriage and that the Deseret Morning News was working on a report that Zions Bank supports gay marriage. The newspaper says that it was not working on such a report. (source)
I did a bit of research on this. I suppose if you want to tell the President of Zion’s Bank how you feel about this, you can to it here. I already have. This is what I sent to the President of the bank.
I think it’s too bad that you pulled your support for the Human Rights Campaign annual fundraiser. They support equality.
Some day, we will look back on this decision and see it for what it is; small minded and prejudiced.
I will be sure to add Zion’s Bank to my other entries on my boycott list and post it to my website.
You should realize that people are just people. We all want the same things in life. We all want our families to be equal. We all want happiness. And, we want to know that the people and businesses we do business with support that ideal.
This was the President’s response to me:
Bill,
Thank you for taking the time to contact me. I appreciate your feedback, and I respect your comments.
Please know that Zions Bank takes its responsibility to the community and the people in this community very seriously. As a financial institution, we actively support community causes throughout Utah and Idaho. However, historically, Zions Bank has not taken a position on controversial issues outside of our industry.
When it was brought to our attention that our support of the Human Rights Campaign gala might be misinterpreted by some as taking a position on a controversial issue outside of our industry, we made the decision to withdraw our sponsorship.
We are disappointed with the way this story has been spun in the media. In making our decision, we were not making a judgment on same-sex marriage. We were making a judgment on whether the issue is controversial. And it is.
As an organization, Zions Bank does not have a position on the issue. We do, however, strongly support equality in the workplace and strongly support (and, in fact, encourage) all employees in their participation in community groups and organizations they individually support.
Thank you, again, for your comments.
Scott
And here’s the sixty million dollar question. Would Zions Bank feel the same way and be saying the same thing if the time frame was forty years ago and we were talking about African American citizens getting married?
It’s sad that we have come to a place in time where equality and dignity are labeled “controversial”.
California’s Assembly on Thursday killed off a bill that would have allowed gay marriage in the nation’s most populous state.
The measure, defeated in a third and final vote, mirrored a bill that also failed last year and proposed making marriage in California “gender-neutral” and a “personal relation arising out of a civil contract between two persons.”
In its first two votes starting late on Wednesday night, the Democratic-controlled Assembly fell six votes short of the needed 41 votes for the bill by Democratic Assemblyman Mark Leno of San Francisco, who is openly gay.
He lobbied intensely throughout the day, but picked up only two additional votes for the measure. The last vote on Thursday night ahead of a Friday deadline to pass current legislation was 37-36.
None of the 33 Republicans in the 80-member Assembly backed the bill. (source)
President Bush - “I expressed my concerns about the case to President Putin because, as I explained to him, here you’re innocent until proven guilty, and it appeared to us, or at least people in my administration, that it looked like he had been judged guilty prior to having a fair trial. In other words, he was put in prison, and then was tried. I think what will be interesting -- and so we’ve expressed our concerns about the system.” (from President’s Press Conference on May 31)
I thought this was one of the great times for our President (and there aren’t many). Here, he was speaking up for the freedom that we have in this country. Let’s overlook the fact that in this country, you can indeed be imprisoned while waiting for trial, and during the trial, but I’m splitting hairs.
Then, Amnesty International accused the United States of running a gulag at Guantanamo Bay. The President responded with this:
“I’m aware of the Amnesty International report, and it’s absurd. The United States is a country that promotes freedom around the world,” and that Washington had “investigated every single complaint against (sic) the detainees.”
“It seemed like (Amnesty) based some of their decisions on the word and allegations by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people had been trained in some instances to disassemble (sic) -- that means not tell the truth. And so it was an absurd report. It just is”. (source)
Ok. I don’t think anyone will accuse our President of being a great statesman. Moving on...
A day later, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld responded with this:
Rumsfeld said the US military has done more than any other force to liberate oppressed people and has gone to great lengths to ensure detainees are free to practice their religion: “That’s why the recent allegation that the US military is running a gulag at Guantanamo Bay is so reprehensible.”
The executive director of Amnesty International, William F. Schulz, issued a statement in response, saying Rumsfeld and other officials “continue to ignore the very real plight of men detained without charge or trial.” (source)
That’s the real problem. Those being held at Guantanamo Bay have not been given legal counsel or an opportunity for a trial. In other words, they have no way to gain their freedom. That sounds like a gulag to me. That, Mr. Secretary, is what “is so reprehensible”.
Secretary Rumsfeld can sidestep that issue all he wants by saying that all is well because we allow the detainees the freedom to practice their religion. With all due respect, Mr. Secretary, that is not freedom and it is not human rights.
The United States had better find a charge against these people individually, or the United States had better set them free. If we do less at Guantanamo Bay, then yes, our detention camp for these prisoners should be called the United States Gulag at Guantanamo Bay.
Amnesty International Fires Back at Bush
“Evidence continues to mount that the US operates a network of detention centres where people are held in secret or outside any proper legal framework -- from Afghanistan to Iraq and beyond. If President Bush and his administration are serious about freedom and human dignity they should recommit to the rule of law and human rights.”
Here’s a scenario for you... I’m working at my desk with my two co-workers (we are all male), and someone (another male co-worker) enters our room and say, “Joe, I’m going to screw you.” I look at the co-worker who said that and reply, “You can’t say that, can you?” He replied, “Probably not,” and shrugged it off.
“Joe” isn’t the real name of the person who this was said to. I changed the name for the purpose of this story. But, the event did happen.
It’s amazing that, in 2005, after most companies have some sort of sexual harassment rules in place, that this still happens. In fact, in many states, it is the law. But such remarks are said in jest and people do not really mean it. Right?
But what about those cases where someone did take offense to a remark that was meant in a light-hearted way? The rule of thumb is, if you think there is any possible way for the remark to be taken the wrong way, don’t say it.
Telling someone, “I’m going to screw you” leaves little to the imagination. Everyone laughed, except for me, who questioned the appropriateness of the remark, in or out of the workplace. It would seem that people still have a lot to learn about sexual harassment and what constitutes sexual harassment. And, this has nothing to do with the fact that the remark was made from one male to another male. Sexual harassment has nothing to do with gender, what so ever.
As a nation, we have a long way to go. I know that sexual harassment has gone on for a long time in the workplace, before it was ever called sexual harassment. And, as more and more gay people have felt comfortable enough to come out of the closet at work, more claims of sexual harassment have been filed. So, when I heard Human Resources talk about sexual harassment, they were very clear in stating that sexual harassment did not depend on gender.
It’s great that we can all talk about this. And it’s great that we can go to a place that when someone says something inappropriate, there are people you can talk to who will make a formal complaint and deal with the problem.
But one area that is still not fully understood and is still the target of a lot of abuse are transgendered people. To me, it’s like the gay issue all over again. People, in general, think that being transgendered is pretty weird. They think it is “wrong”, and “unnatural”, and that, if you are transgendered, “you should change”. I put those words and phrases in quotes, because those words and phrases were said to someone who I used to work with.
The bigger issue for me is this; if sexual harassment is genderless, why is this an issue at all? I don’t know. I do know one moral absolute - everyone deserves to be treated equally, with dignity and respect. You may feel uncomfortable working with a gay person, or a transgendered person, but I assure you, your discomfort is nothing compared to the crap that person has to endure day in and day out.
And does it occur to any of us just how much courage it would take to confront the issue of changing your gender? Anyone who would be able to do that and hold on to a job, as they are being transformed into a new person, would have to be one brave individual. And, if you are in the situation of starting that process, you know (as I do) that this is not a choice (just as being gay is not a choice) - you have to be what you are.
Kent sent me a link today about David Schroer. David is in the process of becoming Diane Schroer. David applied to be a “terrorism research analyst” at the Library of Congress. He was accepted for the position. Then, after he told them that once work began, the name would be Diane, not David, the job offer was rescinded the next day.
The job candidate interviewing to be a terrorism research analyst at the Library of Congress seemed to have exceptional qualifications: a 25-year Army veteran and former Special Forces commander who spent a career hunting terrorists and often personally briefed the vice president, defense secretary or Joint Chiefs of Staff on sensitive operations.
The interviews and salary talks went well for David Schroer. A job offer followed, and he accepted. Then the new employee brought up one last item: Once work began, the name would be Di