A Revelation

I had a revelation today.

Revelation - n. Something revealed, especially a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized. (American Heritage® Dictionary)

The revelation for me was that equality is a state of mind, at least, at this point in my life. Does it matter at this point in my life that I can’t marry my partner? Some might say that I’m rationalizing about the current state of affairs in regard to our inability to marry. I can agonize over the very basic fact that I’m not viewed as being equal to my heterosexual peers, but on a very basic practical level right now in my life, why bother with it? Marriage isn’t everything in life. I’ve lived 50 years without it.

It’s true that we pay more taxes than we would if we were able to marry, but it’s not like we can’t afford it. And, we are in relatively good health, so for now, it’s not like we are going to be confronted by some hospital that will tell Kent that he can’t come in to see me, or visa versa, or have to make life or death decisions for me, or me him.

Life has so much more to offer than just marriage. I think it’s important to strive for equality, but it’s wrong to lose out on the rest of life because there is so much more to life than equality. There just is.

So, I’m going to write less on what I don’t have; marriage. In my mind, I am fully equal. The biggest question of all is this: What am I trying to be equal too?

I’m striving to have equality to the institution of marriage - an institution that fails 55% of the time; hardly something to strive for as the ultimate goal. Someday, I think we will be in a situation where the protections of marriage are very important to Kent and myself. Hopefully, by then, we will be equal citizens.

Until then, I’m going to enjoy life and have one hell of a time! Right now, that is my goal.