Thoughts On Gay Pride

I had planned to go to New Paltz, NY last Sunday for gay pride. But after I got home from a week of travel, the idea of getting into my car for more travel was too much.

I wanted to see Jason West and to celebrate being... me. You know, the whole year we hear how much our country hates us, and we hear all the nasty legislation that is being passed to keep us down. And we hear that the military still wants to kick out gay military personnel, just not while there is a war on - I guess we are good enough to die for our country while we are needed. I wanted one day where it was “ok” to be me - out in the open - without judgments. That is what I think of as “gay pride”.

I’ve read other opinions of gay pride from right-wing sites. Some say that it is a perversion for us to display ourselves in such a celebratory way. They wonder why there is a need and, if gays have a day of celebration, why don’t Germans, for example, have a day of “German Pride”, etc.

It’s amazing how they just don’t understand human nature. People do what they have to do to survive. I believe that part of that survival is to feel good about your very existence. The need for Gay Pride happened because, unlike American citizens who happen to be German, you don’t see people bashing or killing them for being German, harassing them in schools for being German, legislators passing amendments to state constitutions saying that people of German ancestry can’t get married, can’t be openly German to serve in the military, or banning books from libraries because they have "German" content, etc. With all of that specifically targeting my community, if they don’t understand the need for us to have something that pulls us together and tells us, “you have each other - as a community”, then they will never understand us, let alone human nature.

So, I wanted to go to New Paltz. Why New Paltz, and not Boston or New York? Because, New Paltz is today the center of what I call the Stonewall Spirit. When Mayor West started marrying same-sex couples over a year ago, he did so in defiance of the law. In other words, he said, “Enough of this!”. That is exactly what happened when the police raided the Stonewall Inn in 1969, which resulted in the Stonewall Riots.

New Paltz is the epitome of our community rising to this challenge. Jason West is facing prosecution for carrying out the act (marriage) that makes us equal. I don’t see it as just Jason. To me, he represents our community under attack. He, a straight man, had the courage and the will to stick up for us, the most hated minority in this nation. Shouldn’t we be asking ourselves why so many of us don’t care as passionately about our community as Jason West?

No one wants to ask that. But quite frankly, in the gay community, many of us worry more about the way we look than worry about putting our asses on the line when someone turns up the heat.

Jason will most likely face the loss of his job, fines, and perhaps jail time. Does that mean nothing to us? It means a lot to me. I am humbled by this man - a man of only 26 years old. I expected someone who is gay to do this - someone with a lot on the line for equality. But Jason puts his conscience above all of that. Truly quite remarkable when you think that he has absolutely nothing to gain by doing this act of courage.

We have other allies as well. What about all the straight couples who are now refusing to be married until gay couples have the right to marry. Yes, they are out there. I read about them. And there are others who get married and state that they feel awkward about getting married and receiving all the rights and privileges of marriage, when many citizens do not have that option. The fact that we are even in their consciousness should mean something.

Then there are ministers who are now refusing to even perform weddings, stating that they will once again perform weddings when gay couples can be married.

So, that to me is Gay Pride. It’s not always about showing how beautiful you can be in a damn parade. Sometimes, it means sacrifice. Sometimes, it means principles. I think in many ways, we are losing site of that.

We have leaders who are willing to say, “The line must be drawn here, and no further!”, to quote a line from Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek). Take Cheryl Jacques, for example. She was the leader of the Human Rights Campaign fund. When the states, one by one, started passing constitutional amendments against gay marriage, she said, and I'm paraphrasing, “NO! We will not be second class citizens. Civil Unions are not an option - not even on the board. Anything less than marriage is not equality.” For that attitude, what did they do? They fired her. They replaced her with someone more “moderate” who would be reasonable (kiss ass with the best of them), and not make waves. The decided to endorse “civil unions” until the time was right (10-15 years later), to go for equality (marriage). I decided to cancel my membership.

I don’t know which is worse; the people who openly pass hateful amendments against us, or this cancer of reconciliation to second-class citizenship within our own community. There are things in life worth putting everything on the line for. If dignity and equality aren’t right at the top of your list, you’ve lost the meaning of PRIDE. Jason West and Cheryl Jacques has it. They get it.

Jason has a book out. The title: Dare to Hope - Saving American Democracy. That says it all. You have to give people hope - hope for a brighter future.