(Hartford, Connecticut) When Connecticut’s civil unions law comes into effect at midnight the LGBT rights group that successfully fought for the law will celebrate with a party, but not all same-sex couples in the state are cheering.
Many gay and lesbian couples say civil unions are a sham and only marriage will do. One couple, John de la Roche and Michael Hargrave say they’ll boycott the party sponsored by Love Makes a Family.
“I cannot force myself to go and dance at this. I just think it’s really insulting that we have to sit in the back of the bus,” said de la Roche who has been in a relationship with Hargrave for 13 years. (source)
In one hour and thirty-three minutes, Kent and I would be able to get a Connecticut “civil union”. That gives us most of the rights and privileges of marriage within the State of Connecticut.
Awww, that’s the important part. When we go to the state of New York, we are, once again, “legal strangers”. Is that all we want... most of the rights of marriage?
The Federal Government will not extend any rights what so ever to this “civil union” that the State of Connecticut is still congratulating itself over, for coming up with the notion that we are now an enlightened state which stands for equality.
It’s all bullshit. This civil union that Connecticut is so graciously going to allow us to have, is a worthless piece of shit that isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
It is an insult to the core nature of what we are, as a couple. It is an insult to my people. In shows that America is a second class nation because it allows for second class citizens. This isn’t freedom. This isn’t equality. And this sure as hell isn’t the America I thought I was living in.
Why people are celebrating this is disgusting to me. They are having a party to celebrate the fact that they are about to sign up for something that isn’t even close to marriage. And while they are signing this civil union document, they might also want to remember that within that same civil union law that supposedly makes them more equal, is a DOMA stating that “marriage” is only between “one man and one woman”.
Does this mean nothing?
People are stupid. When I talked with my lawyer earlier this week about the legal documents we just drafted to try to secure some of the protections of marriage, she mentioned to me that many couples signing up for this civil union do not even understand what they are getting in to.
What if they move away and gain residence in another state? There will be no way to dissolve this civil union because it’s not recognized by any other state. Connecticut will not dissolve it because they will no longer have residency in the State of Connecticut.
Connecticut, on the other hand, will recognize civil unions from Vermont and California, but we will not recognize the marriages that gay couples have from Massachusetts. Think about that one for a minute. These are REAL MARRIAGES from our neighboring state, and we won’t recognize them because our new civil union law, the one everyone is partying about tonight, contains language defining marriage as between one man and one woman. Thank you Governor Rell for that one!
My lawyer also mentioned another couple who were very excited about getting a civil union. One of them is in the military. Guess what? If they get the civil union, they have just violated Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. So, by trying to gain some of the rights of marriage, they will be discharged from the military. Good deal, huh?
You know, the longer I live, the more I start realizing that marriage itself is so full of political bullshit that it is itself becoming worthless. It is a club that is enjoyed only by the chosen ones. You know, the people who get married because they are so fucking in love they can’t breath without the assistance of each other, only to get a divorce three years later? Yeah, those people are the chosen ones. Not people like Kent or myself who have gone through so much crap in the last thirty years that it would make most people give up.
And because of all of this, the golden question is this; IF I live long enough to actually be able to marry the man I love so deeply, will I even want marriage any more?
Perhaps most of us don’t deserve anything better than a civil union. Tonight, somewhere in this state, they, my people, are having a party to celebrate being second class, to celebrate the privilege of being able to drink from the black water fountain, the privilege of being able to ride in the back of the bus.
We have nothing. We have gained nothing. Yes, I’ve received all the invitations to attend the party they are having tonight.
I personally would rather drink acid.
People ask me where I’ve been. Why I haven’t been blogging more, or as much as I used too. The fact is, it’s too damn depressing. The country I live in is going to hell. It has absolute disregard for what people like us go through and worry about day in and day out. I write about what is going on with me, Kent, and my world. I just can’t do that anymore, because to a large extent, I no longer care that much what happens in the world any longer.
Some would call that depression. Some would call it apathy. It’s a survival technique. I care about what will make me happy now. And declaring myself second class with this civil union will not help in that regard.


FLINT - A statewide gay rights organization is calling on 
LONDON, September 20 - The bruised and bloodied body of a 22 year old gay Iranian, Amir, bears further witness to the brutality of the Ayatollah’s regime. Yet many gay and human rights groups in “the West” are sweeping the matter under the carpet.

In the meantime, this is what we are up against. Never mind that thousands of people were killed by hurricane Katrina. To people like Michael Marcavage, that’s a good thing. It was God who “destroyed a wicked city”. We can call him and
I’m not really sure why I’m spending time with what is happening in Nebraska, but when I read this, I was really upset by the fact that someone could have such disregard for others in society. I know..... I should know better.




