Enshrining Discrimination in Wisconsin

I just read this very thought provoking letter from Paul Toth on his feelings of growing up and trying to fit in with others. It was my story, and it’s beautiful. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. And, I sincerely hope that the folks in Wisconsin take to heart what he is trying to say to them. Because it’s true, and it’s real.

Related Article
December 7, 2005 - Wisconsin to Approve Marriage Ban for Gays

Paul D. Toth: I didn’t want to be gay

Most backers of the proposed ban on gay marriages and civil unions believe that extending any legal protections to gay families is morally wrong.

They would like to amend the Wisconsin Constitution to ensure that the hundreds of state and federal benefits that marriage confers upon heterosexuals automatically will never be afforded to their gay neighbors in equally committed relationships. [...]

Whereas Christian conservatives might hope that one day I would choose to engage a woman in a dishonest relationship that nonetheless meets the traditional definition of marriage, after coming out, I instead chose to commit myself in a relationship with a man that brought me more happiness than I ever imagined. Still, no matter how long-lasting or steadfast our commitment, this amendment punishes gay families by ensuring that we are never recognized as such in hospital visitation, taxation, inheritance and bereavement, as well as health care, child care and retirement benefits.

If as a heterosexual you are pondering a choice to enshrine such far-reaching discrimination in the Wisconsin Constitution, be glad that marriage (and, of course, remarriage) will always be a choice you can make, and that figuring out what to do when the law punishes such commitment will never be a choice you have to face. (source)

Paul D. Toth is a professor of Spanish and education at UW-Madison. He recently moved here from Ohio, where voters last year approved a ban on same-sex marriages and civil unions.