June 2006 Archives

Arkansas cannot ban homosexuals from becoming foster parents because there is no link between their sexual orientation and a child’s well-being, the state’s high court ruled Thursday.

The court agreed with a lower-court judge that the state’s child welfare board had improperly tried to regulate public morality. The ban also violated the separation-of-powers doctrine, the justices said. [...]

“There is no correlation between the health, welfare and safety of foster children and the blanket exclusion of any individual who is a homosexual or who resides in a household with a homosexual,” Associate Justice Donald Corbin wrote.

In addition, the court said, the testimony of a Child Welfare Agency Review Board member demonstrated that “the driving force behind adoption of the regulations was not to promote the health, safety and welfare of foster children but rather based upon the board’s views of morality and its bias against homosexuals.” (source)

I just wanted to share a piece of good news. It’s easy for us to forget the good things that happen now and then. It’s important to remember that we are making progress in some areas. Arkansas is a very conservative state. Maybe things are turning around a bit, at least in terms of foster parenting and adoption.

The elimination of adoption rights for gay couples is the next big push in what the conservatives are going after. So far, they’ve made little headway in this area. We can hope that trend continues.

This is the Oval Office. It’s a shrine to democracy. And we treat it that way. When people walk in here, they -- they don’t come in here in bathing suits and flip-flops. They come in here dressed like they’d come to a shrine. It is to be respected and honored because the Office of Bush is bigger than the person who occupies it. It’s one of the great things about a true democracy -- is that the institutions outlast the individuals, and therefore, there’s stability in the process. - George W. Bush

A question posed from a reporter: Is the tide turning in Iraq?

I think -- tide turning -- see, as I remember -- I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of -- it's easy to see a tide turn -- did I say those words? - George W. Bush

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case. - George W. Bush

I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children. - George W. Bush

After a long talk with one of the people I work with (I managed to go into the office today), he has talked me into giving the weights another try. I guess I will. He explained that the guy who took me through the routine had me on weights that were way too heavy, too many reps, etc. Basically, he didn’t know what the hell he was doing.

He suggested a lot of stretching first, then trying very very light weights with very few reps, even it it seemed that I wasn’t working the muscles that much. The main issue is to get more stretching and movement in the muscles. Then, add weight when they are ready for it.

That actually makes sense to me. I’m probably going to give myself a day to rest, and try this tomorrow.

God I hope I don’t regret this.

While I’d love to write on this (because I have a lot to say about this), I’m afraid I will have to pass on this one.

The Supreme Court today delivered a sweeping rebuke to the Bush administration, ruling that it exceeded its authority by creating tribunals for terror suspects that fell short of the legal protections that Congress has traditionally required in military courts.

As a result, the court said in a 5-to-3 ruling, the tribunals violated both American military law and the military’s obligations under the Geneva Conventions. [...]

“What this says to the administration is that you can no longer decide arbitrarily what you want to do with people,” Mr. Ratner said in a telephone briefing for reporters. “It upheld the rule of law in this country and determined that the executive has gone beyond the constitution and international law.” (source)

All I can say about it is, “Good! It’s about time someone stood up to the President and his misuse of power.”

On the personal front, I’ve been sick. Actually, it’s rather silly I suppose. And when I tell people about what has happened to me, most chuckle. Last Sunday, I went to the gym to work out. I asked if I was still eligible for the new member orientation. They said I was, and they proceeded to give me a full workout. I mean a FULL WORKOUT - one that would be a challenge to a 23 year old.

I’m not 23 years old anymore. We went though four full sets (12 reps in a set), with heavier weights than I should have been using, on five different weight machines. And all of that came before we did the free weights.

In short, I just wasn’t up to it. The end result, I have been spending my whole week, except for Monday, at home, on pain medication. Now, I know this sounds dumb and people think it’s funny, but I’ve been popping Percocet and taking hot baths like there is no tomorrow. Why? Because I can’t raise my arms above my waist! It hurts like hell. The only way I can describe it is by saying that it feels like someone stuck a hunting knife completely through each bicep. My entire body feels like it has a toothache going completely through it.

Tuesday, I stayed home. Got up. Had breakfast and had a hell of a time. An hour later, I lost my breakfast. Nothing was touching this pain. I went through it that day, and took an extra strength Motrin before going to bed Tuesday night, which seemed to do nothing. I was able to get to sleep. At 2:00am, I woke up in intense pain. After taking five minutes just to get out of bed, I considered going to the hospital, but then didn’t know how I would even drive my car. And, since Kent was out of town, what about my cats?

So, at 2:00am, I went to my medicine cabinet to see if anything could help with the pain. I came across some Percocet, and took one. The bottle said, “One table every six hours for pain.” I went back to bed and an hour later was still in agony and wide awake. At that point, I had had it. I got up and took another Percocet. After 20 minutes, the pain started subsiding, along with all the very bizarre and not-so-unpleasant side effects of Percocet. Then I fell asleep.

The next morning, I was feeling the other side of narcotics... the narcotic hangover and I’ll just say, I felt like crap. I thought coffee would help. An hour later, I lost the coffee. I went back to bed.

I won’t bore you with the rest of my week, but I will just say, it’s not been a funny experience for me. Just today, I’m starting to feel better and I have a bit more movement in my arms. And, I’m totally turned off now with weight lifting, along with personal trainers. I know some of you will think I’m over reacting, but I’m a bit alarmed that they didn’t even take some key factors into account, such as the fact that I haven’t lifted weights in a very long time. I’m 51 years old. And they didn’t even ask me if I was on blood pressure medication, which will effect what your target heart rate is.

All around, a not so funny experience. I’m looking forward to having a long weekend ahead of me to rest.

(Washington) The Department of Defense has admitted it conducted surveillance on groups opposed to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” on a more extensive level than previously reported.

The new revelations are part of an ongoing call for information under the Freedom of Information Act by the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, an organization that represents gays in the military.

Some of the surveillance outlined in the new documents suggests, SLDN says, that the spying may have been part of an undercover Pentagon operation.

The new material shows government surveillance of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and anti-war protests at the State University of New York at Albany, William Paterson University in New Jersey, Southern Connecticut State University and the University of California at Berkeley.

The documents released today indicate that emails sent by various student groups were intercepted and monitored by the government and that the government collected reports from seemingly undercover agents who attended at least one student protest at Southern Connecticut State University.

None of the reports in the documentation, however, indicated any terrorist activity by the students who were monitored.

“Federal government agencies have no business peeping through the keyholes of Americans who choose to exercise their first amendment rights,” said SLDN executive director C. Dixon Osburn.

“Americans are guaranteed a fundamental right to free speech and free expression, and our country’s leaders should never be allowed to undermine those freedoms. Surveillance of private citizens must stop. It is the suppression of our constitutional rights, and not the practice of them, that undermines our national security. It is patently absurd that this administration has linked sexual orientation with terrorism.” (source)

Well, I suppose this is one reason I’m being monitored by so many “.mil” sites, since I’ve spoken out so many times against Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. That and the fact that I’ve repeatedly called the President a moron and other less generous names. I’m not surprised.

The United States is coming closer and closer to a police state every single day. How long are we going to keep living in denial as our rights, one by one, get stripped away?

And this week the Senate is about to pass a constitutional amendment against burning the American flag. For the first time, it’s going to be a very close vote.

As much as I love the American flag and would personally never burn it (I actually have two hanging on my home), I will defend the right of expression for those who do feel they should burn it. That is what democracy is - defending something that you yourself feel is repugnant and wrong. That is defending freedom.

United States Constitution - First Amendment
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Eight years is too long for anyone to go without skills or purpose. - George W. Bush

The chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee called yesterday for criminal prosecution of The New York Times, saying that its report Friday on U.S. government surveillance of confidential banking records “compromised America’s anti-terrorist policies.”

Interviewed on Fox News Sunday, Rep. Peter T. King, a New York Republican, accused the newspaper of compromising national security when it exposed a Treasury Department program that attempts to track terrorist financing by secretly monitoring worldwide money transfers. The program, instituted after the Sept. 11 attacks, bypasses safeguards put in place to ensure against government abuse. [...]

According to the reports in both newspapers, the program was part of an effort to gain intelligence data by tapping into bank transfers from the world’s largest financial communications network. The network - run by the Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication, or SWIFT - carries up to 12.7 million messages a day. Those messages typically include names and account numbers of bank customers - private citizens and huge corporations alike - that are sending or receiving funds.

To gain access to the information, the Bush administration used an obscure power known as “administrative subpoenas,” which are not subject to independent governmental reviews. [...]

Yesterday, Specter indicated that Congress and the White House were nearing agreement on a proposal to submit all such eavesdropping to a secretive federal court that considers intelligence matters. “We’re getting close with the discussions ... to having the wiretapping issue submitted to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court,” he said. “That would be a big step forward for the protection of constitutional rights and civil liberties.” (source) - Highlighting my own

You didn’t really think that our current government was going to stop with illegal wire tapping, did you? Anything you do right now - absolutely everything you do - can be picked up and heard by an outside source.

You go to the keyboard to send an email to a friend, it’s likely being read by some computer program that is parsing your information to try to determine if you are some kind of threat to national security. Everyday, I look at the traffic logs on this site. Those logs tell me that I am being watched carefully on what I write about and the content of that writing. I can tell from the logs that these are not just people, but I am being scanned by government computer programs, probably because I have been highly critical of this government.

When someone is talking to me on the phone, I can hear an occasional click. I know what it is and what is going on.

And all of this, without my knowledge (supposedly) and without a warrant. Why? Because the President of the United States feels that he has that power. And when Specter states that, “We’re getting close with the discussions ... to having the wiretapping issue submitted to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court,” what he is really saying is that the U.S. Government is “getting close” to abiding by the law - laws that require the review of a court before these actions are taken in the first place - laws that have been on the books since 1978.

So just remember, when you pick up that phone, when you send an email, when you post to your blog, when you place a bank transaction, when you go to a U.S. Post Office to buy that money order, it’s all being recorded for who knows what reason.

And if that’s not bad enough, I keep hearing about breaches in security involving “private” records - although, if the government is collecting these at will, how “private” are they? First, it was the Veterans Administration, when someone took computer records home that were stolen. The information contained sensitive information such as date of birth and social security numbers. You can do a lot (assume an identity) with that information.

And just a few weeks ago, I received a letter from Mortgage Lenders Network (our mortgage lender) informing me that I “may” have been included in information that was “potentially” leaked that included our private mortgage information - where we live - how much we paid for our home - what’s left on our mortgage - along with our legal names, date of birth, social security numbers, credit report information, annual salaries, place of work, and on and on. Their suggestion is that we request an annual credit report to “make sure” that no one is using our identities for anything unapproved, and to also put a “fraud alert” on our credit report, which would require that we be called every single time a new account is created in our name. This, they said, had to be renewed every three months.

I guess I can understand why the government wants this information, although they should go about getting it legally. My big beef is that there is apparently nothing in place to prevent this information from getting out in the open. We are all vulnerable here.

Meanwhile, the President of the United States and Congress, while kind of talking about it here and there (when they aren’t talking about an amendment to the U.S. Constitution to prevent “gay marriage” and “flag burning”), are really doing nothing about it - other than threatening the New York Times for exposing what the government is up to.

Our government at work.

The senator has got to understand if he’s going to have — he can’t have it both ways. He can’t take the high horse and then claim the low road. - George W. Bush

I woke up this morning around 9:00. It felt so good to just sleep in. I worked for awhile on general chores around the house, and decided to get my things together and go to the gym.

I joined this new gym a few months ago. I was good about going for awhile, but then other things in life got in the way, like work. It’s easy to let things slip. But today, I decided to go back and get back into it. When I joined the gym, I had the option of getting a tour of all the services they offered. At the time, I really didn’t have the time to do it. I just wanted to get to my workout.

Today, after signing in, I asked if it was still an option to have that tour. They said it was, and they sent this young man up to walk me through a workout. God, it was grueling, but it showed me just how much work I have ahead of me. And of course, they tried to sell me on the idea that I absolutely needed a personal trainer. And as it turns out, they have a “special rate” that is going on until next Thursday. I probably will just do my own thing. I’ll have to think about it.

After I left the gym, my arms felt tired and like rubber. I decided to go by the store close to the gym to pick up some “health food” - low in fat, high in protein, etc.

As I got out of my car, I noticed that the Red Cross truck was parked at the side of the store. I assumed they were doing a blood drive. This man from the truck quickly approached me, and asked me if I would mind spending a few moments of my time to donate blood. I replied, “Not if you don’t mind taking the blood from a gay man.” He looked a bit stunned, and said, “No, we can’t do that.”

I looked at him and said, “Then stop fucking asking me.” He replied, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.” I replied, “Do you have any idea how demoralizing and insulting it is for me for your organization to have it’s belittling attitude towards people like me? A straight man can have sex with prostitutes and still donate blood. But I am banned for life for being a gay man even though all blood is tested. So don't stand there and look shocked that I am talking to you with this piss poor attitude.”

He started to say something. With that, I took my arm and waved him away in disgust. I realized just how far my mind has come with this subject. I’ve gotten to a point that I openly voiced my disgust to a member of the Red Cross. And, when they tried to talk more, I waved him away in a way that said, “Go fuck yourself.”

I understand that the Red Cross helps people. I just can’t seem to reconcile my personal life with their policy. I find it repugnant. They don’t know me. They don’t know people like me. And, they don’t seem to want to know people like me. So, I don’t have the time of day for people or organizations like that.

Am I the only one out there who feels this way?

Now, there are governors around the state and the country that that have said, look, give us the flexibility to be able to dovetail the Head Start program into our preschool programs so that all students -- so we have a better control over whether or not the students are given the skills necessary so that when hold us to account we can achieve that which we want to achieve, which is excellence in the classroom. - George W. Bush

I usually don’t write about the happenings in Iraq. I used to, but I stopped. Why? Because I believe that what has happened in Iraq, and what is happening in Iraq, is self evident. We all know what is going on. We all know (at least if we are honest about it) that this was a fabricated war, all in the name of “fighting the war on terror”. History will decide how well the United States will fare in this war - both from the point of view of winning the war and our global reputation. This is the legacy of George W. Bush...

I do not support this war. I do not agree with the reasons we put our troops in harms way because one moron in the White House decided for political reasons that Iraq was a threat to our national security. What has endangered our national security is allowing Osama bin Laden to escape when we had a good chance at stopping him. Instead, we stayed behind in Iraq.

Having said that, I do support our troops. I support them and what they must put up with in every way I can. I have helped many of them who cannot afford a call home by providing a means for them to make that call home. I can not think of a better way to reach out to them by allowing them to talk to the ones they love. I do not say this to show what a caring and decent person I am. I say this to show that I am more than just words - words are easy. Deeds are tough.

So last week, when I read of what happened to Private First Class Thomas Tucker and Private First Class Kristian Menchaca, who were tortured and killed in Iraq, I was left with a sense of outrage and sadness. I want to be able to say that they died to preserve our freedom rather than just the tool of some political maneuver.

And now that they are dead, I am further outraged at the news that members of the Westboro Baptist Church will be picketing the funerals of both of these two soldiers. They are the same people who host the website, godhatesfags.com (I refuse to link to the bastards and I notice with a sense of satisfaction that their website seems to be down at this time). I find it hard to say this and still keep a sense of decency in me, but they are more deserving of the fate that happened to those two soldiers. They are despicable and hateful people.

Of course, this is democracy, and democracy isn’t easy. Democracy means that they have the freedom to spew their hatred and contempt for gays and lesbians - and now, apparently, for the whole nation because the nation lets us live. That’s right. They would not be content until the United States put a death sentence on every gay and lesbian citizen. I would imagine that they would want us stoned to death in the public square or hanged and left strung up for days for all to see. Only then, would they say that we are deserving of God’s grace.

It’s scary that we live in a country that has such people in it. But I am grateful that the same democracy that allows these animals to spew such hatred, also allows me to live as an openly gay man and a proud American.

I honor the memory of these two soldiers.

A controversial, much-scorned Kansas church that believes America is doomed and suffering because it tolerates homosexuality has been picketing the funerals of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq - and so, members plan to travel to Central Oregon and Texas to protest at the services for Pfcs. Thomas Tucker and Kristian Menchaca.

What’s more, on their Website, godhatesfags.com - which is hard to view, because of the no-doubt constant tech attacks on its existence - the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., hails the killing of the two men by their Iraqi insurgent captors. It called the killings retribution for the attacks on their graveside protests, including a new federal law that bans protesters from being too close to military funerals at national cemeteries.

“Thank God for the grisly deaths of Privates Thomas Tucker and Kristian Menchaca,” the Website message states. “They died at the hands of an angry God in His retaliatory wrath in punishing America for her violent persecution of Westboro Baptist Church for preaching the truth to America about her abominations. WBC will picket their funerals.” (source)

There ought to be limits to freedom. - George W. Bush

That’s a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century. - George W. Bush

I’ve been following this for awhile now. I looks as if Lewis will not be put to sleep. We was placed under permanent house arrest since he was attacking the neighbors. Also, he apparently attacked the Avon lady (I probably would have also - I don’t like Avon).

I can’t believe they put Lewis on Prozac.

BRIDGEPORT, Connecticut (AP) -- A Connecticut judge on Tuesday spared the life of alleged serial-scratcher Lewis the cat, whom even Prozac could not tame, but ordered that the felonious feline remain inside his owner’s home at all times.

“There are no exceptions. None,” said Judge Patrick Carroll, who also granted accelerated rehabilitation to Lewis’ owner, Ruth Cisero of Fairfield, Connecticut.

That means her record will be expunged if she successfully completes two years of probation.

Cisero had faced a charge of reckless endangerment. Neighbors complained that the cat’s long claws and stealth have allowed it to attack at least a half-dozen people and ambush the Avon cosmetics lady as she got out of her car on her neighborhood rounds. (source)

This is still a dangerous world. It’s a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses. - George W. Bush

The Macy’s department store chain says removing two mannequins from a gay-pride display at a Boston branch earlier this month was a “mistake--unquestionably.” The display featured a list of gay-pride events and Web sites and two male mannequins, one with a rainbow flag wrapped around its waist. [...]

In it, Klein blamed “an internal breakdown in communication,” declaring the mannequins “were not removed because of pressure.” However, he defended the decision to remove the mannequins, saying the store does not “traditionally” use mannequins in “community windows” because such “tributes” don’t include the introduction of merchandise.

Klein’s letter also notes the company’s “commitment to diversity and to the GLBT community,” and concludes, “I am hopeful that Macy’s long track record of support for inclusion and diversity will be remembered by the GLBT community.” (source)

Well, one thing that Macy’s should learn about our community is that loyalty is very important and, we have a very long memory. If you don’t believe that, just ask Coors.

I suppose that Macy’s can say that is was “an internal breakdown in communication,” but you know what? I can have “an internal breakdown in communication” also when my brain tells me, “Bill, let’s go shop at Macy’s,” and decide not to set foot in Macy’s again until they show their true colors. An apology, after it’s safe to make such an apology (Boston Pride is over), just isn’t good enough.

That is the message I would like to see Macy’s receive. And the one thing that will give them the message loud and clear is when we take our $$$ somewhere else, because that is the language that Macy’s understands.

Damn, there’s still a big of activism left in me. Now, if I lived in Boston, I’d organize a picket right out in front of their store. Macy’s, as a company, has the right to not support Boston Pride. I just wish they had the balls to own up to their decision.

Now, I’m going back to enjoying my ruby-red grapefruit margarita. It’s delicious!

This couple is so similar to Kent and myself in so many ways. We have both been together over 30 years and we both live in Connecticut. The only difference at this point in time is that we are both healthy, as far as we know.

This is my greatest fear. The state of Connecticut passed this Civil Union bill a couple of years ago and now think that everything is just fine and dandy. Tell that to this couple who may lose they home.

Civil Unions are crap that have no federal benefits associated with them. The faster we all realize that and demand equality, the better.

They live on a circle of tidy houses in a subdivision nestled in Windsor Locks, a couple in love since they met in a Hartford bar 30 years ago.

Another gray-haired, tax-paying family of two. You might like them as neighbors.

They own their home. There are retirement accounts for the future. They go to church. There were these plans, too, for hiking, kayaking and enjoying life for years to come.

This being the land of civil unions, Rob Scanlan and Jay Baker figured things were looking up for an aging gay couple in the suburbs.

Then, a little over a month ago, Rob was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis - ALS - and they were reminded that there isn’t equality.

It’s different for gays, even in a blue state with a civil union law. The problem is not that ALS is a death sentence. It’s that Congress and the federal government recognize only marriage when it comes to taxes, Social Security and medical issues.

Because federal law does not recognize civil unions, Rob and Jay could be faced with liquidating everything - home, savings, retirement - to pay for costly care. Meanwhile, I’m told, a married heterosexual couple can sometimes take advantage of federal benefits so that a surviving spouse can at least protect the home.

Rob and Jay’s case is not entirely clear yet, but the inequity remains.

“You have a couple that has been together all this time. They have paid their taxes and they have contributed to the community,” said Gary Buseck, legal director for the Gay & Lesbian Advocates and Defenders in Boston. “Why are they treated differently? There is no answer.” (source)

Victory means exit strategy, and it’s important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is. - George W. Bush, speaking about President Clinton’s military action in Kosovo

It’s late - past 10:00 pm. I came home from school at 4:30 in the afternoon with just enough time to grab a sandwich and head out the door. Mom asked me, with the worry she always seemed to have in her eyes, “Are you off to philharmonic practice?” I said, “Yes Mom, I don’t have much time. Practice starts in an hour.” I gave her a hug, told her that I loved her, grabbed my violin, and headed out the door.

I got into my car, went by my music teachers’ house to pick her up, and we drove to Boise, Idaho for a practice session in the Boise Philharmonic. We shared a ride to Boise three times a week and on Saturday - a 30 mile ride. It was good for me. I was sixteen years old and one of the very few students accepted into a rather rigorous program the Boise Philharmonic was offering called the “Young Outstanding Student’s Award”. It was only given to a few high school students. You had to go through three auditions, and prove that you could technically play well, and be able to do the program and keep your grades up in school. In return, I got paid a bit and my gas money was paid for.

In those days, I was a powerhouse of energy. I don’t know where I got it from. I would get up early, put in a full day at school, come home and practice, then go off to the Philharmonic for a four hour practice three to four times a week - on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and sometimes Saturday. When I got home, I would do my homework. On Monday nights, I played in the College of Idaho Community Orchestra where my musical mentor and teacher, Walter Cerveny, was the conductor.

The goal in all of this was to mold me into the world of performance and give me as much exposure as possible to all kinds of different music. It was a wonderful program. I was a good kid. I was never in trouble, until later when I would drink to hide a lot of emotional pain. On this schedule, there was little time for trouble.

I got home from practice, and parked my car in the garage. I got out of the car and opened my trunk door to get my violin out. I got it out and closed the truck. It made a slight noise, and I heard something move in the other car - the family car, which was also in the garage.

I slowly walked over to the car and looked into the back window. There my Mom was lying in the back seat, visibly shivering from the cold with a thin blanket covering her nightgown. I opened the door and ask numbly as if I didn’t want to hear the answer, “Mom, why are you sleeping in the back of the car?”

She said, “It’s my fault. He got mad at something I said. Don’t get mad. Just get your things and go to bed. Be quiet not to wake him.” I said, “ok Mom. Go back to sleep.” I closed the door to the car.

I went over to my car, and quietly put my violin back into the trunk and closed the trunk door. I went over to this box that had some of my brothers’ things in it. He was in the Navy and we were storing things in it. I pulled out a baseball bat. My heart got calm. My adrenaline was high. I - was - strong. Something else was driving me. I felt my jaw and muscles tighten with determination, as though I was going into battle - the kind of battle where only one would be left standing. I was made of steel.

I started methodically walking to the door that lead into the house. Mom, without me hearing her, had gotten out of the car. She gets between me and the door and says to me, “What are you going to do? You can’t go in there like this. Please go to bed!” I said, “I will, but first I want him to tell me why my mother is shivering in the back of a fucking car when his sorry ass is lying in a nice warm bed! And then, I’m going to put the bastard in a hospital bed.”

She pleaded with me, “You can’t go in there. He’ll kill you.” I held up the bat and said, “I - DON’T - THINK - SO!” She looked at me and said, “I love you! Please don’t do this!”

My eyes opened and I said in a whisper, “I love you too.” My heart was beating fast. It was quiet in the room. I could hear Kent breathing. My cat was asleep on the foot of my bed. I am back from then and from that place. I get out of bed, go to the bathroom, closed the door, and I cry.

Then, I come to this computer and typed this, but does this matter?

I hate that son of a bitch. I’m glad he’s dead. When my brother asked me ten years ago if I’d come back to Emmett for his funeral, I answered, “I’ll come back to piss on his grave. Is that good enough?”

How can this live on in me? How can he have a hold of me in this quiet peaceful place I am in? I haven’t thought about him in years, until now.

I hate him. I hate him.

If I’m the president, we’re going to have emergency-room care, we’re going to have gag orders. - George W. Bush

(Santa Fe, New Mexico) The two men labeled ringleaders in a gang attack on two gay men more than a year ago in Santa Fe will not be going to prison a New Mexico judge has ruled.

State District Judge Michael Vigil said that he believed Isaia Medina, 20, and Gabriel Maturin, 21, could be rehabilitated.

“You both would be ruined if I sent you to prison,” Vigil told the pair at a sentencing hearing on Friday. “I would be throwing you away. I don’t want to do that.”

Vigil ordered them to serve 90 days in the Santa Fe County jail. They will then be subject to a year of house arrest and be required to return to the jail on weekends.

At the end of the year they will be on five years of probation and must perform 500 hours of community service.

During that time they will take a mandatory course on tolerance, and must work with PFLAG to present classes on equality and tolerance at area schools.

Vigil’s sentence also requires the pair to make restitution to the victims of the attack, James Maestas, 22, and Joshua Stockham, 24.

“Both of you can do a whole lot to help mend this community for this horrible act,” Vigil said. (source)

Is this justice? I guess I shouldn’t make the judgments because I wasn’t there. They are making restitution to the victims of the attack, although, from going through the experience myself, I honestly don’t know what they can give back to the victims to take away the psychological damage caused by this. The victims of this crime will carry that around with them for the rest of their lives. Making financial restitution for medical expenses is the easy part. You have a price tag for that.

What is the price tag for making the nightmares go away? That’s what they should be paying for. I would say that in prison, the attackers would be given their own set of nightmares to deal with, but that would just make me sound vengeful and, would it really help anyone?

You can’t fight hatred with hatred, and at what point does “justice” become “hatred”?

As one commenter put it....

Anyone who wants to know why gay people have their own rodeos, congregate in their own communities, etc., etc. : this is why. Because they can’t trust mainstream society to offer them the same protections being offered to non-gays. If these men had beat up a young girl or young straight man, they’d have been given severe sentences.

So much for “justice for all”. (source)

More in depth report on this from the New Mexican.

Related Articles
March 2, 2005 - Hate Crime in Santa Fe
March 3, 2005 - Man beaten in gay bashing clings to life

I was talking to a friend a couple of days ago. He is a straight male and a good friend. He knows much of my past. He asked me when I knew I was gay. I told him I knew when I was six years old. I didn’t know what it was that made me different, but I did know I was not like other boys. At six years old, being gay is not a sexual feeling. I loved music. I loved art and beautiful things. For some reason, I just couldn’t get into the idea of playing tether-ball until my hands would bleed. That just wasn’t me.

So, I was scared that people would discover that I was different. So, even at the tender age of six when I started school, I started being very careful about talking with anyone. In fact, I was a recluse. I talked to no one. During lunch, Mom would come and bring me lunch because I was afraid that she too would go away to that magical place of forever. It had to be hard on her because when the end of the lunch hour would come, I would start crying, every single day. I would make her promise that she would never leave me... never... never... never. She would promise. I would cry more. She would promise again, and again.

Two years passed. I was better about lunch. I would take the sandwich that Mom made me, and go off to some secluded place to eat it. I would then wait out my lunch period all by myself. And, I did this for years.

I told my friend this and he said, “Didn't your Dad die when you were six?’ I said, “Yes, he did.” He replied, “Maybe that’s why you turned out gay.”

I don’t know how to answer that. I believe that I was born gay. But, maybe the trauma of my father dieing in the middle of the night and leaving me did something to me. Maybe the fact that my family wouldn’t tell me that my father would never come back did something to me. How would I know?

But in a bigger sense of it all, why does any of that matter? It’s almost like saying that being gay is a bad thing, and I don’t believe that is true. Is being straight superior to being gay? Does being gay mean that something went wrong with me long ago? I don’t know how to react or feel about that.

To me, people are people, and they are made up of many different factors and aspects of their personalities. Sexual orientation is just one of those aspects - I don’t think it is unfortunate that a person is homosexual - I don’t think it is unfortunate that a person is straight. I think it is what it is.

And, if I really wanted to look at the REAL problem with being gay, it has nothing what so ever to do with being gay. It has to do with what prejudiced people do with that knowledge. I prayed to God when I was a scared 15 year old to change me into a “normal” person. I did this because I was afraid of what I would face if He didn’t make me “normal”. Today, I thank God that he never did because I think I’m not all that bad as far as people go. In fact, being gay has given me the sensitivity to reach out to people and have compassion for others who feel adversity.

I look around me and everywhere I look, I see people who hate gays or other minorities, people who are indifferent to the needs of others, people who only care for themselves, people who see something wrong with everyone else, but themselves. It makes me sick, because the real issues I have faced in my life have come from people who can’t accept what I am. And if they do accept what I am, they try to understand what “went wrong” to make me that way. And, that is almost as painful as someone calling me a faggot, because it usually comes from someone that I care about, be it a friend or a family member. Even today, I know of some gay people who will have as little to do with straight people as possible because they just don’t trust them. I think that’s sad.

I suppose the real question to be asked is, why is being straight the only desirable thing that a person can be? This is at the heart of what gay kids face today. The “disease”, if you want to call it that (some would), isn’t being gay. The disease is prejudice, intolerance, and a desire to try to force people, through intimidation or violence, into being something they aren’t. And if they can’t change, as I couldn’t, they try their best to hide it - I did for years.

Any way you slice it, a lie is no way to live your life. People shouldn’t have to live that way.

It’s a heated exchange between Fox anchorwoman Julie Banderas and anti-gay crusader Shirley Phelps-Roper (Fred Phelps daughter) that turned from a heated exchange into an all out fight. (make sure your speakers are on)

Found on the Washingtonblade.com

I don’t have to accept their tenants. I was trying to convince those college students to accept my tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university. - George W. Bush

Jun. 16 (CWNews.com) - The governor of Maryland has fired a Catholic political appointee who said that homosexual activity is “deviant.”

Governor Robert Ehrlich announced that he was removing Robert Smith from a post on the board of the Metro, the public-transportation authority for metropolitan Washington, DC. Ehrlich said that Smith was dismissed for making a statement that was “highly inappropriate, insensitive, and unacceptable” during a political discussion on a local cable-TV station. [...]

During a televised discussion of homosexuality last week, he objected to the notion that “government should proffer a special place of entitlement within the laws of the United States for persons of sexual deviancy.” (source)

I tell you, it’s getting harder and harder for someone who holds bigoted views. This man won’t even admit that his views are bigoted. Many people are the same way. You can hold a view and claim that it is part of your “religious beliefs”, but that doesn’t mean that in the public arena, that that view is or should be acceptable.

There is freedom of religion in this country. He can go to his church and say all Sunday morning long how deviant and sick and perverted gays are. The same holds true for anyone who has bigoted views of black people, or Jews. But, the line should be drawn when they bring those views into the public arena, where some of those people they represent are blacks, and gays, and Jews.

The same can be said of marriage. They want to claim the religious “sanctity” of marriage. Fine. I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is the fact that they don’t want to stop with that. They want to impose their religious beliefs into the state and federal systems, which just happens to grant benefits to state and federally sanctioned marriages. That’s wrong. As long as people like me pay taxes and abide by the law and do my best to be a good citizen, that’s wrong. I also find it repulsive that, for all the talk of saving marriage from the gays, there is precious little being said by these people concerning the prevention of divorce or adultery. In addition, in most every instance, these same people also want “civil unions” banned, which really makes one wonder about their sincerity of “saving marriage”, when “civil unions” and “marriages” are two entirely different things. THAT is a bigot.

He’s entitled to his beliefs, but the fact that he chose to bring his religious views to a public forum makes me uneasy that he can treat “deviants” in an impartial way. Let me put it this way....

If Senator Bill Frist was still practicing medicine, would you feel comfortable going to him as a patient if you were gay, after he just wasted a week of our country’s time trying to pass an U.S. constitutional amendment against marriage equality, knowing full well that it had a snow balls chance in hell of passing?

Slice it any way you want.... THAT is a bigot.

Here’s what I believe. I believe that the great city of New Orleans will rise again and be a greater city of New Orleans. I believe the town where I used to come -- from Houston, Texas, to enjoy myself, occasionally too much -- will be that very same town, that it will be a better place to come to. - George W. Bush

We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are gettin’ out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their -- their love with women all across this country. - George W. Bush

On my lunch break, I often go down to the Connecticut River. It’s just across the road from where I work - just over the levee. It’s nice over there, although the river is so high that the water comes right up to the parking lot.

As I sit and eat lunch, I often listen to the news, just to see if we’ve bombed Iran or Korea yet. Often, it’s the same dribble... Republicans hate Democrats.... everyone hates Karl Rove... yada yada yada....

Nothing usually gets my attention. But today, one correspondent said something that got my attention. I’ll try to paraphrase it.

He said, “One thing is clear. The United States has clearly changed it’s goal in Iraq. Now, we are no longer trying to defeat the insurgents. Now, we are trying to get the country in a stable enough condition that we can hand it over to an Iraqi government that will hopefully be able to control it, and will hopefully be tolerant to all the people of Iraq. We (the United States) have come to the conclusion that the day-to-day bombings are going to be a regular occurrence and are not going to go away anytime soon. The best we can hope for is to try to restore power to people for more than one hour a day, and basic services.”

The November elections are coming. After everything this president has put our country through, I would like to think that he’s not going to cut and run now. I would like to think that the lives of our soldiers lost have not been thrown away and lost for nothing.

When I talk about an exit strategy for our troops, I’m talking about one that works. I’m less interested in coming up with a date that we will be out. I’m much more interested in doing what we have to do now to at least give the government a fighting chance for long-time survival. We did this to them after all. Do we not have an obligation to see it through?

Or, better yet, not fabricate a war and go there in the first place - but that decision has been made for us. We are beyond that now. President George W. Bush once said, “The Command In Chief must not waver!” Well, if there was a time when he should listen to his own advice, this is it. He shouldn’t waver on this, other than coming up WITH A PLAN ALREADY!

It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas. - George W. Bush

Bush, on his second trip to Baghdad since the 2003 US-led invasion, was boosted by last week’s killing of Zarqawi but he warned of further violence.

“There are going to be tough days ahead, and more sacrifice for Americans, as well as Iraqis,” he said during his five-hour unannounced visit.

“But I come here - come away from here believing that the will is strong and the desire to meet the needs of the people is real and tangible.” [...]

“There is the worry almost to the person that we will leave before they are capable of defending themselves and I assured them they didn’t need to worry,” Bush told reporters traveling with him on Air Force One on the way home.

“They are deeply concerned that the stability provided by our coalition forces will be removed and there will be a vacuum and they’re concerned about what goes into the vacuum and I can understand that concern,” Bush said. (source)

And my favorite....

“And it’s in our interests that Iraq succeed. ... And when Iraq succeeds in having a government of and for and by the people of Iraq, you will have dealt a serious blow to those who have a vision of darkness, who don’t believe in liberty, who are willing to kill the innocent in order to achieve a political objective.” (source) - Highlighting, my own.

Words. Just words, all wrapped up in political rhetoric, signifying nothing! Absolutely nothing. He still doesn’t understand the culture of the region. He uses American concepts of freedom such as having a government of and for and by the people, as though that will work in Iraq. Tell that to the gay people in Iraq who are being executed right now - today, as our troops do nothing! A couple of weeks ago, a gay asylum seeker asked our troops for protection because he was a homosexual. They laughed at him and turned him away. Days later, he was executed. As one gay Iraqi put it, “But, when we go to the Americans, they laugh at us and don’t do anything. The Americans are the problem!”

The President’s concept of our way of government has worked well for us. It’s a noble concept. It sounds good, except for the fact that it hasn’t always worked very well for America either. Under those words, we’ve had slavery, lack of equality for women and minorities, and even today, we have a government that falls far short of being a representative government for the people. It is a government of special interests, political games and cover ups, and the outright breaking of laws. This is the best we can do for Iraq?

And after all of this grand standing (it reminds me of when Bush stood on the aircraft carrier and announced, “Mission Accomplished!”), the fact remains that since the March 2003 invasion of Iraq, nearly 2,500 of our soldiers have died, along with tens of thousands of Iraqis. And, the ONLY safe and secured place in Iraq is the “Green Zone”. It’s not a big place. It’s heavily fortified and the only safe place that the President could enter - and then only at night in an unmarked Black Hawk helicopter that came in completely unannounced. He came, he spoke, he left.

And we are still no further ahead in how we are going to get out of this mess. This was nothing more that a scheme to try to boost his sagging-by-the-day poll numbers. Will it work? Well, it didn’t work with the troops in Iraq. According to the news last night, Bush is not very popular in Iraq among our troops. Can you blame them? I listened to his speech to them last night. He is either the worst spokesperson I’ve ever seen (which is highly possible), or his words were scripted and insincere (which is highly possible). Whatever the case, the troops didn’t buy them. Why should they?

But another cause of the current chaos may be traced to the blunders committed by Bush, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, and other policy makers after the toppling of Saddam Hussein’s regime three years ago. That history had to be in the minds of Iraqis yesterday when Bush told Maliki, “I have come to not only look you in the eye; I have also come to tell you that when America gives its word, it will keep its word.”

Presumably, Bush was saying Iraqis can trust his administration not to abandon them prematurely. But Iraqis have had to live with the chain of disasters traceable to an attitude Rumsfeld expressed when he responded to an ominous outbreak of postwar looting by saying glibly: “Stuff happens.” [...]

If Bush is serious about finding the right policy balance for Iraq, he will order an end to petty and divisive political tricks. (source)

Well, it’s true - America has never broken a promise to anyone, right? We are always truthful and righteous in our cause. And don’t forget, God is always on our side because we are “one nation, under God”. And Rumsfeld is right, “stuff happens”, and pigs fly, and elephants are purple, and Karl Rove is innocent. But one would hope that we can do a little better than that. And one would hope that the future of Iraq has more to hang on too than a politically charged trip of our President in a surprise visit to Iraq.

If the President can’t do better than that, any traction that he gets in his poll numbers will be just a bleep on the political polling screen.

How do you know if you don’t measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through? - George W. Bush

Two Issues Today...

Rove won’t be charged in CIA leak case

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Top White House aide Karl Rove has been told by prosecutors he won’t be charged with any crimes in the investigation into leak of a CIA officer’s identity, his lawyer said Tuesday.

Attorney Robert Luskin said that special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald informed him of the decision on Monday, ending months of speculation about the fate of one of President Bush’s closest advisers. Rove testified five times before a grand jury.

Fitzgerald has already secured a criminal indictment against Vice President Dick Cheney’s former chief of staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby.

“On June 12, 2006, Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald formally advised us that he does not anticipate seeking charges against Karl Rove,” Luskin said in a statement. (source)

Is anyone surprised by this? This Administration does whatever it is they want to do. They get away with torturing people, lying their way into war, scapegoating one group against the other for political purposes, spying on us without warrants, and breaking laws left and right because the President just decides too, and nobody challenges him. In the end, no one will be held accountable.

Sen. Arlen Specter has also introduced a bill that would “grant blanket amnesty to anyone who authorized warrantless surveillance under presidential authority, a provision that seems to ensure that no one would be held criminally liable if the current program is found illegal under present law.” Nice, huh?

Kids Who Flirt With Danger... or... Parents, Start Parenting!

She is an honor student from a small town in Michigan. He calls himself Abdullah Psycho.

They found love on the Internet and it became an international incident -- a spectacular example of what experts say is fast becoming a modern twist to an age-old problem of young girls, older men and bad decisions. Nationwide, Web enticement cases have quadrupled in recent months, according to a national group that tracks such incidents. [...]

She wanted to meet a man with the ominous nickname, believed to be 25, whom she met on the popular Web site MySpace.com. Instead, FBI agents tracked her down Thursday during a layover in Amman, Jordan, and persuaded her to return to her bewildered family.

“Evidently, she’s in love with this man. That’s what she said,” said family attorney Renee Wood, during a press conference Monday on the steps of the Tuscola County Courthouse in Michigan’s Thumb. [...]

Shehan said MySpace doesn’t appear to have any liability in the case. In fact, he praised the site for adding a link to his group’s hot line in the past two months and working with law enforcement on enticement cases. (source)

It amazes me how people let their kids on the Internet without knowing anything about what they are doing. I suppose to the parents, it’s the same as giving your son or daughter $50 and telling them to go to the mall for an afternoon with their friends. I have known people who have done that many times. So why is it that we are so concerned that they now do the same thing with the Internet.

I guess I’m amazed at parents who do this because you have to be stupid in this day and age to believe that there are no bad people around. They are everywhere. A few years ago, an acquaintance of mine was robbed and killed just blocks away from where I work. I hear all the time about how someone met someone on the Internet and lucky for them, they walked away with disappointment that the picture displayed on the web didn’t match the person they met at the bar or restaurant. In some instances, these people make arrangements to meet their new on line friend at a hotel/motel room. That is so stupid, and if you don’t understand why that’s stupid, you might as well stop reading this now and go on to the next blog, because this is over your head.

My Space is no different than any other Internet service. They are merely providing a place for people to meet. They are not responsible when people take information from their site and do stupid things with it - such as meet a stranger in a non-public area that could turn out to be another Jeffrey Dahmer. The Internet is no different than that mall you send your kid off too. The only thing the Internet offers is some additional cover for these creeps to hide in.

Someone at work asked me how to keep their kid safe from the Internet. I told them, “Keep your kid off the Internet. And, if they must go on, have the computer in a common area in your house in clear view of what they are viewing or watching. If you pass by the computer and your kid quickly changes screens, they are up to no good!

Also, people are seldom what they say they are on the Internet. People lie. You should ALWAYS assume that people are lying to you on the Internet, until they prove otherwise. Which is why I hardly ever go on line for chat anymore. And when I do, I have it set up so that only my buddies (people I met first in “real life” and then talk to occassionally on the Internet) can see me. That keeps the creeps out. Yes, even I get unsolicited requests for sex or other scams from people who don’t even know me.

Parents, the Internet is a wonderful tool for information (there’s a lot of crap on here too), BUT, THE INTERNET IS NEVER A SAFE PLAYGROUND FOR YOUR KIDS!

I did denounce it. I de-I denounced it. I denounced interracial dating. I denounced anti-Catholic bigacy... bigotry. - George W. Bush

Just more evidence that bigotry in this country against gay and lesbian citizens isn’t working any longer for self-righteou