Memories From College
I’m listening to the Air from the Holberg Suite, by Edvard Greig. God, it’s quite unbelievable and beautiful. And as I listen to it, I can close my eyes and see myself in my college orchestra performing this work years ago with my teacher, Walter Cerveny, conducting the college orchestra.
I miss magical moments like that. I miss Dr. Gabbard, who always had kind words of encouragement for me when I was down (which seemed to be a lot in those days). He taught me that life was music and music was life. It’s true. Horror and beauty can be found in both.
Walter and Dr. G. are both gone now, and I miss them both, but they are etched vividly in my memory - word for word - action for action.
Today’s a difficult day for me. I’ve isolated myself with beautiful things. I’m getting a lot done at work, but I’ve also isolated myself with earphones that completely shut out the world. So now, I’m listening to the second movement from the Ninth Symphony of Antonin Dvorak with that beautiful English horn solo. Yeah, nothing but beautiful things for me today.
Tonight, when I go home, I’m going to take a photo of the wild flowers out in front of our home. They are nice now. All the darkness of the rain we’ve had the last week has made much beauty.
I don’t know why such memories come back to me, but they seem to come back to me when I need them most.
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I agree Mary. If we are lucky, we will run across one or two individuals who can change our lives. People have said that of me, although I don't see it. But if that is true, I'm grateful that I've had a positive impact on some people.
Life is just hard for me. It just is. And it's not like I'm unhappy in the true sense of the word, because I'm not. It's more ... disappointment, in people I think.
"There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?" - Robert Francis Kennedy
That is how I feel. I'm disappointed that our country is not as great as it could be. I'm disappointed that there are those who would put down some in our society just to make popular political points. I just think that we should be bigger than that.
So, with everything happening today, even though I know it's all political, I ask myself, "Why do we have to be like this, as a nation? Why do any of us have to feel second class in the United States of America? Just disappointing - in my country, in our leaders, and in the American People who see nothing wrong with it.
But this too will pass. Because this is merely political, it will be gone in a week. We hopefully will start addressing something that is really important and stop playing politics. And hopefully, our bigoted President will not have gained any political traction from this small-minded political escapade.
Bill, what a lovely thing to think about, and I hope it gets you through your day. I, too, have wonderful memories of Dr. Gabbard, and don't believe I have met anyone since who inspired me as he did. Being exposed to someone who loved life and loved music to the extent he did was absolutely life-changing. I wish many times that I could live my life like he did, embracing every moment positively, always reaching out to new people and new things. I don't seem to be able to, but perhaps I'm more open to the possibility than I would have been without him.
May my 13-year old son someday be lucky enough to have a teacher like Dr. G. in his life. Take care.