July 2006 Archives
Reading is the basics for all learning. - George W. Bush
In the last entry I made called, “One More Point For Bigotry”, I made the following statements:
Well, I’m losing my hope for a just society in the United States. I’m on my way back to the United States today from a place that does put a value on us....
We are the most hypocritical nation on the face of this earth. I’m just losing hope. I have to regroup mentally and put myself in a better place than this. It was the perfect welcoming message to me from a country who just doesn’t give a shit about us.
All true. I take none of it back.
But I have done some soul searching, and this trip to Europe has been a large part of that. There are countries in the world where we are hanged for being gay. There are countries in the world where we have full acceptance. I was there where gays are accepted when I got the news about Washington State.
But none of this just happens. In places like Amsterdam where full marriage is legal, I realized that not so long ago, things were very different in Amsterdam, for gays and Jews. I realized this after I went through the Anne Frank house. I don’t know how to describe that experience in words. The house is now surrounded by a shroud and can’t be seen from the outside. Once inside, you can see a model of the house as you slowly start stepping through the rooms.
As you enter each room, there are narratives from people who knew Anne. The most haunting room for me was entering the hiding place, behind the bookshelf. The bookshelf was made to move away from the wall. Once it was moved, there was a small passageway that led into a hidden room in the back. The room was dim. It was a hot day. There was no air conditioning. Nothing had been changed in the room. And around the room were pictures that Anne had put up in an attempt to brighten the room a bit - to take her away from her experience. And, at the end of the tour, you enter a room, and in the center of the room, encased in glass, was her diary.
The Nazis finally did find the family. Anne was sent to a concentration camp and learned of the death of her sister and after a time, lost hope that any one in her family was still alive. She basically gave up on life. A month after her death, the camp she was in was liberated. And, the great irony is that if she could have just held on a month longer, she would have realized that her father was still alive.
And during this time, gays were also being sent to concentration camps as well. In the concentration camps, the Jews wore the yellow star. They gay men wore the pink triangle (hence the symbolism of the triangles in the “Homo Monument”). They were the most abused and considered to be at the lowest end of the human chain. Few survived. And when the camps were liberated and the Jews won their freedom, the men with the pink triangle were left to face further abuses from their liberators. Their liberators were the allied forces (the United States was one), and many of these men were not set free.
This all happened in Amsterdam where marriage between a gay couple is now fully legal.
So, in that light, I have hope that things will change. I have hope that people will eventually find their way out of bigotry. As Anne Frank stated, “I believe in the goodness of man”. I don’t. I wish I did, but I believe that the nature of our species has a tendency towards self destruction and hatred for what is different. I see it everywhere and I see very limited examples of what I would truly call “goodness”.
African Americans today don’t want to equate our struggle for equality with them. It’s as though you somehow have to suffer more to earn equality. Or, it should only be dished out to a privileged few. The irony is that if Martin Luther King, Jr. were alive today, I believe he would have taken on our battle for equality and fairness. Coretta Scott King felt the same way. A few of his words...
“People talk about the white backlash ... Now, my answer to this question is that there is really no white backlash, because that gives the impression that the nation had decided it was going to solve this problem and then there was a step back because of developments in the civil rights movement. Now, the fact is that America has been back lashing on the civil rights question for centuries now ... The backlash is merely the surfacing of prejudices, of hostilities, of hatreds and fears that already existed and they are just now starting to open.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.
So it is with us. The backlash is going to continue for a very long time to come - certainly past my lifetime. I have made a choice that I am no longer going to take this battle upon myself. I said this some time ago, because I simply take it all too personally. It is personal, we are fighting against being second-class citizens and being denied a huge spectrum of legal protections. At some point, this country will have to decide if the words in the Constitution actually mean something, or, if the document is crap. Right now, the Fourteenth Amendment is being applied, where it’s convenient. Eventually, the glaring truth will emerge that we will either follow the Constitution, or do away with it because, since it demands equality, it’s a big pain in the ass to live with.
My giving up on this has also been in stages. It’s hard for me to accept that our country is as bigoted and ignorant as it is. I’m coming around, but it’s taken time. I am doing more with photography and writing less about the whole marriage issue. My goal is to completely stop talking about it and if I’m really lucky, stop caring about it.
With us being at home again, I have come to realize that marriage is not what any church or government has the power to offer. Marriage is what two people have together. Kent and I have built a life together and we are so lucky to have what we have. Nothing can take that away from us.
Finally, we got home Friday morning at 3:10am. It was a grueling trip home, with a six hour layover in Washington, D.C. We had a flight from Washington, D.C. to Boston. Once we arrived in Boston, we had a two hour drive home. The following day, we unpacked and I got busy getting Kent ready for his next trip. He left for California this morning at 4:00am. for almost a week.
So it’s been busy and now that I am able to relax a bit, I find myself totally exhausted, but in a good way. I have very fond memories of Denmark and The Netherlands. I’ve posted the photos of Copenhagen and Amsterdam. All that is left is our stay in Århus, Demark. I hope to complete that this weekend. That was the final three days of our trip. Århus is the second largest city in Denmark. It is a bit slower than Copenhagen, but equally charming. Hopefully, the photos will speak for themselves.
OLYMPIA, Wash. -- The Washington Supreme Court upheld the state’s ban on gay marriage Wednesday, dealing the gay rights movement its second major defeat in less than a month in another liberal-leaning state that had been regarded as a promising battleground. [...]
In a 5-4 decision, the court said lawmakers have the power to restrict marriage to a man and a woman, and it left intact the state’s 1998 Defense of Marriage Act. [...]
“There aren’t words to describe how hurt people in the gay and lesbian community are. There’s a lot of tears and a lot of anger right now. Emotion is raw,” said state Rep. Ed Murray, a Seattle Democrat and one of four openly gay state lawmakers.
The state Supreme Court overruled two lower courts that had found the ban violated the Washington Constitution’s “privileges and immunities” section.
The gay-marriage ban “is constitutional because the Legislature was entitled to believe that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples furthers procreation, essential to survival,” Justice Barbara Madsen wrote in the controlling opinion.
However, Madsen and other members of the majority invited the Legislature to take another look at the “clear hardship” that the ban causes for same-sex couples.
In a dissent, Justice Mary Fairhurst said the majority improperly bowed to public opinion. “Unfortunately, the (majority) are willing to turn a blind eye to DOMA’s discrimination because a popular majority still favors that discrimination,” she wrote. [...]
“There’s still hope in the long run,” Sims said. “I still dream for a just society.” (source)
Well, I’m losing my hope for a just society in the United States. I’m on my way back to the United States today from a place that does put a value on us. Kent told me about the decision last night. I was filled with a lot of emotions; anger mostly, great disappointment, resentment, betrayal... but most of all, the real mockery in all of this is the fact that the United States claims to be the land of equal opportunity, fairness, and equality. Those are just words - noble words - signifying NOTHING.
We are the most hypocritical nation on the face of this earth. I’m just losing hope. I have to regroup mentally and put myself in a better place than this. It was the perfect welcoming message to me from a country who just doesn’t give a shit about us.
I’m sorry to leave such a negative message, but this how I feel right now. I’ve been reading “Why Marriage Matters”, by Evan Wolfson. It details everything that our families lose out on because we don’t have access to marriage. I was going to finish it on my way back to the United States. Now, I’m feeling like I should just throw it in the trash can. I wish the court would have read it. But then again, as always, I suppose bigotry would have won the day.
We got up early this morning. Kent went off to his lectures and I went for a final walk downtown, to different sections that I hadn’t made it too yet. Once I get a computer again that can process my images, I’ll post some. I store my images in Nikon RAW uncompressed format, so each image file is about 15 megabytes in total space. It takes special software to read them and to prepare them for web viewing.
We are probably going to walk over to “old town” this afternoon and see a different section of the city. It was a suggestion from the receptionist at our hotel. I told her that I loved her country and was reluctant to go back home because people are so free to express themselves here. She agreed, but said, “It’s all I’ve ever known. I wouldn’t feel right about putting others down for who they care for.” I told her, “Believe me, there are many people who have no qualms what so ever in doing that.” She said, “You should just stay here.” I told her, “It’s not that simple. I’m a United States citizen, so to live here would be difficult because I would have to become a citizen of Denmark.” She replied, “No. All you need is a job and a few papers filled out. As long as you have a job, you are set with Denmark. I happen to need someone right now. Want a job?” An interesting proposal. Of course, if I took her up on it, I would probably never be allowed into the United States again. I’ve heard that they are turning away people they know to be gay. Sadly, not really a surprise to me.
I am looking forward to getting home again to see Maxwell and Mimi. I miss them a great deal and by now, they have probably stopped wondering when I’m coming home. The thing that is really going to suck is that the day after we get home, Kent leaves for another conference. So basically, I will be home alone for a week. It’s really worse for him of course. He will have little time to even rest, and he’s gone again. And I probably have a ton of work waiting for me at my job.
But it was all worth it. I got to see some awesome things.
Been too busy touring to write lately, but did get this interesting comment on one of the entries.
Hello people. My name is Larisa I using internet and i think about dating with other person man from other country. I try find some dating site but i can't write letters to man because i don't have credit cart.... I post it mesage at this forum:
I WANT FIND MAN TO LONG TIME RELATIONSHIP AND MARRID.
I want tell some more information about me.
I am single GIRL. if you want start correspondent with me please write to my e-mail address:______.______@gmail.com (email hidden for obvious reasons by me)
I will waiting you letter soon.
Larisa
Well Larisa, you will probably be waiting a long time for that response from this website, but it’s nice to see that you are doing your part to keep the sanctity of marriage alive and well.
For you, getting married to someone from another country of course means that you, as a heterosexual, can then gain citizenship to the United States, or any other country that will honor that. For gay couples, that’s not an option. Hell, in the United States, since we don’t have access to marriage, if you have a partner from another country, you will be split up. So, although you feel free to try to use my site to advertise yourself, I find it very insulting. And it goes without saying, that you won’t be posting your stuff to this site again.
Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll write when I can. I’m having a great time over here, but starting to look forward to returning to the United States - the “home of the ‘somewhat’ free” and the land of second class citizenships for gays. In my travels in Europe, I’ve come to realize just how much crap we have to deal with in the U.S. day after day after day. But, I’m here now, and having a great time, and I’m not going to let it get me down.
Cheers everyone!
This marks our last full day in Amsterdam. I think I will miss this place. Today, we did three things. We went to Vondel Park, one of the major parks in Amsterdam. We went to the Van Gogh Museum. And finally, we went to the Rijks Museum, which is the home for many of the paintings from the old Dutch masters.
Kent wanted to go to the Van Gogh museum more than I did. I really wanted to see the Rembrandts at the Rijks Museum. But I have to say, the Van Gogh museum was quite an emotional experience for me. It was superbly done, showing earlier works, sketches, and his struggle to become an artist - something that he never felt he achieved. Along the way, there were sections written from letters that he sent to various people. Towards the end, he wrote, “I feel worthless and my art or what I had of it, has left me.” A short time after he wrote that, he shot himself in the chest, and died two days later with his brother Theo at his side. Theo died six months later. He was never able to really make a good living with his art. No one would buy them.
We were then presented with his last works, which were large, and overwhelming in power and intensity. I found myself wiping away tears as I looked at them. I went too sat down on a bench to think. I told Kent, “It wasn’t him. The world wasn’t ready for what he had to say. I wish, that two years before he took his life, I could go back in time, and just talk to him for ten minutes. I could tell him his worth and the noise he would make in the world.” It was unsettling.
We rested a bit, had a small bite to eat, and proceeded to the Rijks Museum, a very different experience. Much of the museum was close for construction, but the Dutch old master’s wing was open. I took only one photo inside, without flash. I also took photos of many of the paintings, again without flash. I deleted them because you really can’t transfer what they did to this medium. It’s too much information and the details are too intricate. And you really can’t do it justice without using flash, which was prohibited in the museum. In the Van Gogh museum, photos were prohibited, so I was a bit surprised that the Rijks Museum would allow them at all.
During our visit at the museum, there was an anti-war rally with probably a thousand people joining in. It was a protest against the war between Israel and Lebanon, with such colorful slogans as, “One, two, three, four, we don’t want your f****** war!” There were people caring flags from both sides, coming together in unity against the war. If we could only live in peace.
From there, we came back to our hotel, rested, and went out for a quick bit to eat.
Tomorrow, (or is it today now?), we leave for Aarhus, Denmark. There, Kent will attend meetings and I will be on my own, just as I was in Paris. I’ll be fine, but it is nice to have someone with you to share the experience with. Here are some photos of our happens today.
A visit to Vondel Park
A shoe store
A tin man blowing bubbles outside the Rijks Museum
The Floating Flower Market
The Floating Flower Market
The Floating Flower Market - Yes, marijuana is legal here.
Homo Monument - It's difficult to describe the Homo Monument. The configuration is posted at the left (image tribute, wanadoo.nl). It is a dedication to all gay men and lesbians who have been persecuted for their sexuality.
It is a rather somber structure - three triangles (the symbol of the triangle coming from the "pink triangle" that the Nazi's placed on gay men placed in the concentration camps during WW II) each having it's own meaning, separated by some space, yet connected to a pink line of pink marble rock that connects the three triangles.
Hortus Botanicus Amsterdam - Can you believe this leaf?
Hortus Botanicus Amsterdam - butterfly. I liked this photo so much that I added a cropped version of it to my "favorite photos" set. You can view it here, if you wish.
Scenes from around Amsterdam
Nieuwe Kerk (new church), built in the 14th century
Scenes from around Amsterdam, Magna Plaza, luxurious shopping center
Scenes from around Amsterdam
Scenes from around Amsterdam, Nieuwmarkt Square
Scenes from around Amsterdam in the "Red Light" District
Scenes from around Amsterdam
Beautiful ornate buildings are everywhere
Farewell to Copenhagen - our final photo of Copenhagen. We left early the next morning for Amsterdam.
Our room in Amsterdam at the NL Hotel. As you can see, tulips are a big thing here. There are pictures of tulips everywhere you look, even in our room.
Our room opened up onto a “meditation terrace”, equipped with a Buddha and fountain - very peaceful.
An outside cafe in Amsterdam where we had lunch after getting settled in.
The locals keeping cool on a hot day. We are in a bit of a heat wave here - mid to high 80’s.
We’re off to see the city today - probably a city tour and a boat tour.
In a nutshell, I loved Copenhagen. I loved this history (many of the buildings are over 200 years old). Indeed, Costanza, Mozart’s wife, lived in Copenhagen after Mozart’s death. I passed the building she lived in, which people still live in. It now has plumbing and electricity, of course, but for the most part, it’s still the building she lived in.
Another thing that I loved about Copenhagen was its compactness. We chose a hotel that is in the old part of the city – a place which is bustling with life and is most representative to the spirit of Copenhagen. We stayed at The Strand, a modern hotel on one of the canals, equipped with the Internet (for an extra charge). There was no air conditioning, but it didn’t matter. In Europe, most hotels do not have air conditioning - neither do the houses. It seems that Europe is much more conscious of conservation than we Americans are. And who can blame them. By our standards, a gallon of gasoline costs around $6.50 per gallon! So, in Copenhagen, a great many people just get around with bicycles. It makes total sense. The city itself is compact, and you can easily maneuver around the city with a bike. On our stay to Copenhagen, we only used a bus one time. The rest of the time, we walked.
The food was just as great as Copenhagen itself. I won’t say that the European’s eat more healthy than Americans do (they also have high-fat, salty foods), but they do tend to eat less than we do. There are fewer obese people in Copenhagen. The portions are smaller, and they love to eat such wonderfully healthy treats such as sausages! They are serious about cheese and sausages in Copenhagen. Oh... and BEER! They love their beer. I’m not really a beer drinker, but I found myself drinking ice cold beer quite often on a warm sunny afternoon.
One of the great highlights was eating at one of the great restaurants in Copenhagen, the Leonore Christine. Fodors said that it was the best in Nyhavn, the part of the city we were staying in.
And yesterday, are final meal was at an outside café call Restaurant Gammel Strand. And finally last night, we went down to the canal in Nyhavn to watch the sunset, and enjoyed a “soft ice”, which is their version of what we would call “soft serve” ice cream. Except theirs was lighter and much more smooth. It was put inside a waffle cone that they were making right their in the shop. It was fascinating to watch. It was a circular machine that had a series of little waffle irons that would rotate. The boy making the waffles would position the iron just under the vat that was filled with the waffle mix. He would turn the lever that would drop some batter onto the iron. He’d close the iron, and rotate the wheel, opening up the next iron in front of him, peeling off the waffle cone, shaping it into a cone, and placing it aside to cool. Fifteen minutes later, it would be filled with soft ice.
The Tivoli Gardens were also quite wonderful. It was very touristy – as amusement parks go, but as Jeff said in a comment, it was one of the inspirations that Walt Disney used in the creation of the Disney parks. I can certainly see that after visiting there.
The Copenhagen Botanical Gardens were also very impressive. Photos don’t really do it justice, but I did take a few that should give you an idea of the place.
And finally, yesterday, we visited the NY Carlsberg Gylptotek, a world class museum which featured everything from mummies, to paintings of Picasso, Degas, Monet, Manet, and others. I was very impressed with their entrance, which was really a huge green house, with fountains and beautiful flowering plants – truly a place of peace.
We had a great time in Copenhagen. And now as I type this, we are flying to Amsterdam. We will be staying at the NL Hotel, which is a new hotel catering to gay men. It should be interesting. They seem to be located very centrally and they have free wireless Internet!! I wanted to book us in “gay friendly” hotels, because that is what I have learned to do in the United States. But I’ve learned that over here, that is much less of a concern because the region in general is very open to other kinds of relationships. I didn’t realize it, but Denmark also allows gay couples to be married, which I guess explains why I saw so many gay couples being so open. Amsterdam also allows gay couples to be married, so I would expect the same attitudes. If anything, Amsterdam will be more gay-friendly than Copenhagen, if that’s possible.
We enjoyed our stay in Copenhagen immensely.
These are a few photos from our last day in Copenhagen. They include the Ny Carlsburg Glyptotek museum, and a few photos I took as we strolled around the city as we leisurely walked back to our hotel.
A street scene on our way home from the Ny Carlsburg Glyptotek museum
A flower in Ny Carlsburg Glyptotek museum
The foyer of the Ny Carlsburg Glyptotek museum
The foyer of the Ny Carlsburg Glyptotek museum (that’s Kent on the bench on the right)
The foyer of the Ny Carlsburg Glyptotek museum
The foyer of the Ny Carlsburg Glyptotek museum
I thought this was an interesting doorway. You can view the full door in the photo album.
Next stop, Amsterdam.
These are scenes from a canal tour we took traveling most of the major canals in Copenhagen. That was in the morning. In the afternoon, we visited the Copenhagen Botanical Garden.
Scenes from the Canal Tour...
Scenes from the Copenhagen Botanical Garden...
We spent a day at Tivoli Gardens and had a great time. We didn’t take in any rides (not really our thing), but we did enjoy the gardens a great deal. Here are just a few...
Sights from Tivoli Gardens
This is actually a slide that the kids are sliding down inside
A typical alley filled with restaurants, on our way back to our hotel.
I know I said that I’d be away for a couple of weeks, but it seems that I have Internet access, and I’m a bit hooked on it. And since I’ve been taking photos like crazy, I thought I’d share a few with you all. We are here for a few more days, and then off to Amsterdam.
People here are much more open on social issues. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve counted gay male couples holding hands and even kissing in public. And you know what happens when that occurs? Nothing. No one even misses a beat in their stride. No one calls anyone a name. Even the teenagers do this. I guess I was born into the wrong country. The United States, I’ve come to learn, is the most bigoted, hateful, and most judgmental nation I’ve seen (aside from someone like North Korea and China).
I had read that Copenhagen was liberal and “accepting”. I think the word is more “embracing” - of other kinds of people and attitudes. I think it would be a joy to live here. And, I’m told that Amsterdam is even more so. And last night as I was falling asleep, I was asking myself, “I wonder if Kent and I should get married in Amsterdam?” It’s romantic, and it’s a real marriage, no questions asked. And, they will do it without regard to citizenship.
Of course, I can’t bring that home with my to the United States - only a piece of paper that says that one country says we are married. I suppose it would be the same in Canada. Here are a few photos from our travels throughout Copenhagen today.
Nyhavn Canal
An interesting store front.
Part of the charm of Copenhagen.
Nyhavn Canal
A street on our way back to our hotel.
I’m taking some time off, away from the Internet and email. I should return in a couple of weeks.
HARTFORD, Conn. --Gay and lesbian couples have not been harmed by the state’s decision to legalize same-sex civil unions rather than grant them full marriage rights, a state Superior Court judge ruled Wednesday.
The plaintiffs plan to appeal the ruling to the state’s highest court.
“Civil union and marriage in Connecticut now share the same benefits, protections and responsibilities under law,” Judge Patty Jenkins Pittman in New Haven wrote. “The Connecticut Constitution requires that there be equal protection and due process of law, not that there be equivalent nomenclature for such protection and process.” [...]
Ben Klein, senior attorney for Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, the organization that represented the couples, said Jenkins Pittman is misguided in her belief there is no difference between civil unions and marriage.
“Not many married couples would trade in their marriage for a civil union,” Klein said. “The legislature set up civil unions to deny the benefits of marriage. Marriage is the most respected institution and (state legislators) did not want gay couples to get access to marriage.” (source)
Kent and I didn’t get a civil union because we find it to be degrading to our relationship. As Ben Klein said, if civil unions are so damned equal to marriage, why aren’t more straight couples opting for them? I’ll tell you why. Because the federal government will not honor a civil union. They aren’t equal by any stretch of the imagination.
But the judge is right... at the state level, no harm has come to gay couples... except for our dignity and the right of being in a second class status.
What’s the price tag on that?
I received an email from Anne Stanback, of Love Makes A Family. Anne put it this way:
Judge Pittman ruled that because of the passage of the civil union law in 2005, the lack of access to marriage by same-sex couples presents no “legal harm” and is therefore not unconstitutional.
Judge Pittman got it wrong in a different way from the New York Court of Appeals who said that marriage is about procreation and that heterosexual couples make better parents…but she got it wrong nonetheless.
And what is most galling is that she uses the passage of the civil union law against us!
We can be heartened that the language of this decision is sympathetic to our community and clearly acknowledges that same-sex couples are deserving of the same legal benefits and protections that married heterosexual couples receive.
But Judge Pittman makes the mistake of implying that marriage is nothing more than a bundle of rights:
“Until now, there has been no equivalent institution that conveys to its participants the rights, benefits, and responsibilities of marriage. And it is surely these underlying rights, benefits and responsibilities with which substantive constitutional law is concerned, rather than with the nomenclature that is used to define those rights.”
She also makes the mistake of downplaying the power and significance of marriage as an institution:
“Being married no longer carries the cultural or social weight, for good or ill, that it did in decades past.”
“The plaintiffs nonetheless argue that because of the historic and continuing cultural significance of marriage to most people, this court must recognize their right to be admitted to that institution, and that institution alone. Nostalgia for past traditions ought not bean impediment to the current acknowledgment of basic civil rights.”
Try telling any heterosexual couple who has just gotten engaged or is planning their summer wedding that being married no longer carries “cultural or social weight.” Try telling them that their excitement is merely “nostalgia for past traditions.”
Try asking a heterosexual married couple if they would be willing to trade their marriage for something called a civil union. Or try imagining where we would be in this country if the U.S. Supreme Court, in striking down interracial marriage in 1967, had designated another “nomenclature” other than marriage for interracial couples.
And, of course, try telling same-sex couples who are on the outside looking in, that exclusion is not a “legal harm.”
I came across this really refreshing viewpoint from a Christian who has had his fill of hate speech from fundamentalist Christians. His point is well taken, I believe. It’s easy to sit back and do nothing. Maybe some in the Christian community are starting to see what’s really happening in this country, especially since he talks about the assaults happening against our families.
Progressive Christians tend to be nonjudgmental and to feel that challenging the intolerance of others is itself intolerant. For that reason we often sit by silently when Fundamentalist Christians criticize homosexual persons. We tend to think of this as being open minded.
Not that long ago, it was considered consistent to be a Christian, and yet, hold slaves.
The day came when slavery was understood as an affront to the gospel itself. I want to suggest that the day has come when Christians must declare that gay bashing is an attack on the gospel and that real Christians do not participate in any form of discrimination.
Several years ago, I was asked to do the funeral of a gay man who had been beaten to death in a hate crime. At that time, I had never thought deeply about the danger many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people face in this culture. That week as I worked on the service, I kept hearing a local “Christian” radio station blaming gay and lesbian people for everything wrong in America. By the end of the week I understood the link between religious hate speech and the funeral I was performing. (source)
What does Massachusetts and the state of Virginia have in common? Right now, not much. One is supposedly very liberal and one is supposedly very conservative. But at least some of that may change in the future.
Today, the Massachusetts legislature will be having a constitutional convention where they will be voting on several issues, among which is whether to approve an amendment that would stop gay couples from getting married, in the only state so far that allows marriage.
Because this amendment was created by voter referendum, the votes needed to allow this amendment to pass the first hurdle is a mere 50 votes. Because the voters put this amendment to the legislature, the simple majority is no longer needed. The amendment, if the legislature makes time for it, is expected to pass.
If it passes, we would wait a year until the next legislative session. The legislature would again have to come up with 50 votes for the amendment with no changes. If that happens, it would be approved to appear on the ballot in November, 2008.
But let’s look at the amendment just a bit. If approved, it would stop all future marriages by same-sex couples, but allow those same-sex couples who currently have a marriage license to keep that license. In addition, the amendment makes no allowances for civil unions.
One would hope that would sway the legislature from voting for it, but that is not expected to happen. And I would like to think that if they do approve this amendment, that they would have a full year of soul searching before they finally tell same-sex couples once and for all that their relationships don’t amount to a hill of crap.
So, if the amendment passes and finally becomes law in 2008, Massachusetts will have at least one thing in common with the states of Texas and Virginia; they will all three give same-sex couples no legal protections what so ever, no social recognition, and no way to achieve any sort of social protection/recognition even with the second-class “civil union”.
That is of course if the legislature has time to vote on it.
BOSTON - House and Senate members today will likely recess a joint session before they can take up a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, a move that would anger supporters and cast doubt on the future of the measure.
The joint session, called a constitutional convention, is expected to attract hundreds of activists on both sides of the issue to Beacon Hill. If legislators recess, it could stall plans for a ballot question in November 2008 to ban gay marriage.
Senate Minority Leader Brian P. Lees, R-East Longmeadow, said yesterday he expects legislators to recess before taking up the proposed gay marriage amendment, listed as the 20th item on today’s agenda. (source)
We live in interesting times.
This from Israel - a “friend” to the United States. Gee, I can’t wait to visit Israel.
So let me get this straight... Israel wants to kill gays with Molotov cocktails. Iran wants to kill gays by hanging them. It seems to me that the countries are one in the same when it comes to the value of life and human rights.
In protest of the 2006 WorldPride Parade, scheduled to take place in Jerusalem on August 10, hundreds of letters, advocating “death to Sodomites”, were distributed to Jerusalem mailboxes on Tuesday morning. They promised NIS 20,000 to “anyone who brings about the death of one of the residents of Sodom and Gomorrah.”
The letter appeals to residents of the capital: “don’t let them teach our children their impure ways.”
The anonymous letter also suggests using Molotov cocktails against marchers and adds instructions as to how to make them at home. The explosives are nicknamed “Shliesel Special”, in honor of the Haredi protester who disrupted the Jerusalem Pride Parade last year by stabbing three marchers. (source)
But then this came out....
However, Haredi sources said that the Red Arm for Salvation’s leaflet was nothing to do with them, and that the people on the list were nothing to do with the Haredi community. The leaflet was apparently a “teenage prank”. (source)
So who knows? Maybe it was a prank. On the other hand, there’s no telling if this was really a prank or not. The fact of the matter is, someone came up with the idea in the first place. The only thing it takes to turn a prank into a hate crime or murder is a bit of prejudice, along with a government that will do nothing about it.
Looking inside a day lily on our front porch
Mimi taking a rest
Find the cat in the window
I just received two emails - one from Equality Virginia, and one from Love Makes A Family. Both are telling me that the New York Court of Appeals has ruled, in a 4-2 decision, that gay couples to not have a constitutional right to marriage equality.
The part of this that hurt me the most is this statement: “The New York Court of Appeals does not dispute that marriage is in the best interests of children. But they say that the legislature could rationally believe that it is more important to support stability in opposite sex relationships than in same-sex relationships.”
What does it say to young gay people when our government says through words, and now actions, that their relationships just don’t count for much? What does that say to the fight against AIDS? I lost many of my friends because there was very little promoting monogamy and stability. That’s just the truth. If everyone is telling you that you are worth less, pretty soon, you start believing it yourself. I know I have.
ok... I am going back to work now. If I work long enough hours and concentrate really hard on this really boring and intricate “budget analysis”, perhaps I will forget that I just don’t count for much.
Email from Equality Virginia
(Richmond, July 6) Today, Equality Virginia reacted with disappointment to the news that the high courts in both New York and Georgia ruled against full marriage equality rights in two separate cases.
In the first and highly anticipated case, the New York Court of Appeals ruled that the state constitution does not guarantee a right to marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples, and stated that it is the responsibility of the legislature to change the law.
And in Georgia, the Georgia Supreme Court reinstated the so-called “marriage amendment” passed there in 2004. The unanimous decision overruled a lower court’s decision that the ballot question violated the state’s “single subject rule” requiring that ballot measures cover only one issue. The amendment in Georgia banned civil unions and domestic partnerships along with marriage equality rights.
“It is a sad day in the march forward for full equality under the law when courts can’t see the reality of the discrimination that we continue to face,” said Dyana Mason, Equality Virginia’s Executive Director. “Nonetheless, both of these rulings underscore the importance of a victory at the ballot box this fall against Virginia’s so-called ’Marriage Amendment.’”
Email from Love Makes A Family
Dear Bill,
I am disappointed to report that by a 4-2 vote, the New York Court of Appeals has just ruled that “the New York Constitution does not compel recognition of marriages between members of the same sex. Whether such marriages should be recognized is a question to be addressed by the legislature.”
The New York Court of Appeals does not dispute that marriage is in the best interests of children. But they say that the legislature could rationally believe that it is more important to support stability in opposite sex relationships than in same-sex relationships. They further state that the legislature could rationally believe that it is better for children to grow up with both a mother and a father.
In our opinion, the New York Court got it wrong!
Not only is the court at odds with the majority of New York voters who support marriage for same-sex couples, but it is also at odds with every major child welfare organization in this country that is on record as saying that children raised by same-sex couples are in every way as healthy, happy and well-adjusted as those raised by opposite-sex couples. The American Academy of Pediatrics, in fact, just came out this week with an extensive statement supporting marriage for same-sex couples because of its benefit to children. [...]
In closing, I don’t want to overlook a ray of hope that appeared today in the dissent by Chief Judge Judith Kaye who wrote: “I am confident that future generations will look back on today’s decision as an unfortunate misstep.”
I share Judge Kaye’s confidence and believe that both our Connecticut courts and our Connecticut legislature will not make the same misstep but will stand on the side of equality and fairness.
Sincerely,
Anne Stanback
Executive Director
How do I get through life?
Well, it’s quite simple. I look at how my cats view life.
Everything, their absolute existence, exists right now, and only now.
There are no past problems.
There is no discrimination.
They hold hatred or malice toward no soul.
They know of no one who hates them.
They fear nothing because they don’t let fear into their world.
My demons are monsters that gain their existence from my memories - my past, that manifest themselves in my dreams. The dream of a cat is the bird that got away. Then, it’s on to something else... always something else... not to dwell on the past.
I want to be a cat.
I’ve got a reason for running. I talk about a larger goal, which is to call upon the best of America. It’s part of the renewal. It’s reform and renewal. Part of the renewal is a set of high standards and to remind people that the greatness of America really does depend on neighbors helping neighbors and children finding mentors. I worry. I’m very worried about, you know, the kid who just wonders whether America is meant for him. I really worry about that. And uh, so, I’m running for a reason. I’m answering this question here and the answer is, you cannot lead America to a positive tomorrow with revenge on one’s mind. Revenge is so incredibly negative. And so to answer your question, I’m going to win because people sense my heart, know my sense of optimism and know where I want to lead the country. And I tease people by saying, ‘A leader, you can’t say, follow me the world is going to be worse.’ I’m an optimistic person. I’m an inherently content person. I’ve got a great sense of where I want to lead and I’m comfortable with why I’m running. And, you know, the call on that speech was, beware. This is going to be a tough campaign. - George W. Bush
Flooding Connecticut River several weeks ago
The phlox outside our front door
Maxwell, a portrait (you have no idea how difficult this was to take - he's NOT a good subject
Maxwell, trying to be a good subject of photos, but trying to stay awake
Our Home, from the road looking in over the wildflowers
Poppy in our wild flower bed
Waterfall from a park close to our home
Poppy in our wild flower bed
It’s been a strange week for me. Now that it’s Saturday, I find myself looking back on everything that’s happened this week. I’ve talked extensively about my experiences this last week with issues of my muscles. The good news is, they are better now. They still ache, but the intense pain I had earlier in the week has been replaced with aching. I can live with that, and for the most part, and over the counter pain reliever takes care of that.
Strange dream last night. I was in some place - I think it was Missouri for some reason. It was raining non-stop the entire dream, which lasted all night. Well, there was one instance where this lady - I assume she was a teacher because she had a bunch of kids with her - passed by with a big frog on her shoulder. Only then did it stop raining. She went over to the edge of this pond which I believe was in some park, took the frog off her shoulder, showed it to the kids as she was talking to them, and placed it back into the water.
They left, and it started raining again. I left the park to go home. Some thugs spotted me, came up to me, and beat me up. It wasn’t bad and that’s not the point. The point is, some lady bandaged up my face, and I went home. I got home and who do you think my father was? Tony Soprano. He looked at me and asked, “What the fuck happened to you?” Can’t you hear him saying that? I said, “Nothing, forget it.” He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “No, there’s no forgetting it. If someone touches my son, I want to know who did it.” I know why he wanted to know, but I didn’t tell him.
I woke up. I’d like to think that I have my stuff a bit more together than “A.J.”, Tony Soprano’s son. Also, why the hell do I always get beat up in my dreams? Do I have some fear of that all the time in real life? What happened to me happened a long time ago. I have to get over it already - I thought I had. My dreams say otherwise.
So what have I learned this week? Life is to be savored with every single day. A lady who works for the same company I work for died. I knew she had gone on a medical leave, but I didn’t know how bad it was.
Then, this week, Eric Rofes died.
Eric Rofes always had 10 projects going at once, recalled his friend Amy Hoffman of Boston. He was, she said, “a force of nature.”
Indeed, Rofes was a man of considerable accomplishment before his death from an apparent heart attack on June 26 at the age of 51. He leaves a 30-year legacy of groundbreaking gay and AIDS activism that had its beginnings in Boston and a body of published work that includes 12 books, dozens of scholarly essays and hundreds of articles that display his breadth of expertise, from the politics of charter schools to the impact of AIDS on gay male sexual culture. At the time of his death, Rofes, an associate professor of education at Humboldt State University, was on sabbatical in Provincetown, writing a book about the lives of gay men in the decade before the AIDS crisis struck.
Crispin Hollings, Rofes’s partner of 16 years, said that Rofes was never idle. “In a way he was always working. He was always working on our relationship. He was always totally devoted to us,” said Hollings. There was precious time reserved just for the couple, such as lighting Shabbat candles every Friday night. But almost always, Rofes was organizing. “I would call him down to dinner and he would be working on some book or organizing someone’s birthday party or organizing his sex and politics discussion group,” said Hollings.
“There was never a dull moment.” Even when Rofes occasionally settled in to watch television — preferably Sex in the City or Ally McBeal — he was organizing some activity via e-mail at the same time. “He organized little silly things even, like Uno games, said Hollings, who made his home with Rofes in San Francisco. “He was an addict of Uno.” [...]
“I was hoping they wouldn’t annul the marriages,” Rofes told Bay Windows in an interview after the court ruling. “That made me angry and energized and made many of us enraged.” Rofes channeled his anger into an organization called Perfect Union, which encourages grassroots activism around the achievement of marriage equality. “I believe this is a battle that’s going to be won as much in the neighborhoods and the streets and our workplaces as it is in the courts and the Congress and the media,” he said. (source)
I didn’t know Eric. I was friends with Crispin years ago when Crispin was active in Connecticut gay politics. I worked with him on the Coalition for Gay and Lesbian Civil Rights. I’m happy that Crispin found love in his life.
I note that Eric was my age when he passed away of a heart attack. I’ve often thought about what lies ahead. I guess most people my age do. I wouldn’t mind living to old age, but I have no wish to do so if my body is falling apart, I don’t look presentable, or I have to wear diapers. There’s only so far I will carry this thing called life and at some point, it just isn’t life anymore. It turns into something else. And I sincerely wish the AARP would stop nagging me about becoming a member of their organization! First it was the colonoscopy, they I started getting their membership information. It’s depressing. I don’t want their discounts that bad. There’s a reason I don’t let my hair go gray.
I’ve also been very active in gay politics, and the incredible disappointment of my lack of ability to marry my life partner. I tell myself, “Bill, it doesn’t have to ruin everything.” That’s good advice, and it’s true. It doesn’t have to ruin everything. Every day is a new experience for me and I learn new things everyday. Not all days are good, lately, but I think this will pass and good days will be here again when I’m feeling well and energized.
Still, one thing that has changed is my ability, or willingness, to reach out so readily to others. I’ve become cynical of people. Aaron Copland composed Fanfare for the Common Man. I wonder, is there a “common” connection to any of us anymore? Do we have anything in common from a “values” point of view with the people in Iraq, or Iran, or Libya? Do any of us Americans really give a damn (or remember) about the teenage boys who where hanged last summer in Iran, just for being gay? DO ANY OF US CARE ABOUT ANYONE WHO IS NOT IN OUR “FAMILY”?
I don’t know. My existence consists of me, Kent, people I work with, a very few close friends, my cats, my home, and my hobby of photography. That’s it. I’m not a party boy. I’m apparently not a “gym bunny” either. People who know me think that I am sharp, witty, intelligent, outgoing, funny, outrageous, and flamboyant (I think that means, I’m obviously gay). Those are some of the terms I’ve heard used to describe me. In reality, I don’t know who they are talking about. Well, those are my morning thoughts, for what they are worth.
Unlike many Americans who will be traveling this weekend, I’m staying home and resting. I’d like to work on more photos and the website a bit. I’m a home body.