August 2006 Archives
In addition, her projection that the black struggle and the gay struggle are similar is laughable. The persecution of gays in the USA has never been as violent or as long-standing as the black struggle. Prejudice against gays and lesbians is real, but most of them struggle because of personal choices and preferences. (source)
The persecution of gays in the USA has never been as violent or as long-standing as the black struggle?
Have you never heard of Matthew Shepard? There are many Matthew Shepards in this country and around the world. Gays are murdered every single day, and this has been happening since before slavery took place in this country. The ignorance is astonishing.
But I am glad that you pointed out to us that our struggle is because we choose to be open about what we are. We are killed and beaten because we dare to have the courage to confront hate and live honest, open lives.
Honesty and integrity are the the only qualities that can truly fight prejudice. That prejudice is not found with the thugs who beat and kill queers. The prejudice you claim to know so much about is rooted in the belief that queers choose to be queer, that they choose to dare love who they desire and therefore, the queers deserve the treatment they get. That is the source of the prejudice that gay bashers feed on, and it all starts with people like you, Bishop Harry Jackson.
If you really want to fight prejudice, you might start looking at yourself.
Yeah, I know it sounds corny. I guess you have to see the movie. There are parts of it that are admittedly a bit corny. But I was really touch by this scene, because I remember feeling that alone and scared. Even today, we have kids feeling this. They feel, as this kid did, that they have to justify the way they feel inside. Some give up and throw in the towel on life, and others fight.
They shouldn’t have to fight. Everyone deserves and should expect respect.
A Marine from Milford who was awarded a Purple Heart after an insurgent grenade exploded and pelted him with shrapnel earlier this year was killed during combat Friday in Iraq, the U.S. Department of Defense announced Saturday.
Cpl. Jordan C. Pierson, 21, became the 32nd serviceperson with ties to Connecticut killed since in Iraq or Afghanistan since March 2002.
Pierson died during combat operations in the Al Anbar province, a combat hot zone. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division in Plainville.
Word of the Marine’s death reached his seaside hometown by late Friday.
“There were two Marines in full dress uniform standing outside their house when his mother got home,” said Rena Lewis, a neighbor. “I saw them there and I knew what it was about.”
Pierson graduated from Foran High School in Milford in 2003 and enlisted with the Marines that December. He postponed studies at the University of Connecticut to serve in Iraq. (source)
Servicemen and civilians with Connecticut ties who have died since March 2002 in Iraq and Afghanistan:
Air Force Tech. Sgt. John Chapman, 36, March 4, 2002, Afghanistan
Marine Staff Sgt. Phillip Jordan, 42, March 23, 2003, Iraq
Marine Cpl. Kemaphoom Chanawongse, 22, March 23, 2003, Iraq
Army Pfc. Wilfredo Perez Jr., 24, July 26, 2003, Iraq
Army Staff Sgt. Richard S. Eaton Jr., 37, Aug. 12, 2003, Iraq
Army Sgt. David Travis Friedrich, 26, Sept. 20, 2003, Iraq
Army Pfc. Anthony D’Agostino, 20, Nov. 2, 2003, Iraq
Army Sgt. Maj. Philip Albert, 41, Nov. 23, 2003, Afghanistan
Army Pfc. Jeffrey Braun, 19, Dec. 12, 2003, Iraq
Army Capt. Eric Paliwoda, 28, Jan. 2, 2004, Iraq
Army Sgt. Benjamin Gilman, 28, Jan. 29, 2004, Afghanistan
Army Spc. Tyanna Avery-Felder, 22, April 7, 2004, Iraq
Army (National Guard) Sgt. Felix Del Greco, 22, April 9, 2004, Iraq
U.S. Coast Guard Petty Officer 3rd Class Nathan B. Bruckenthal, 24, April 24, 2004, Iraq
Army Spc. Jacob David Martir, 21, Aug. 18, 2004, Iraq
Eric Miner, 44, employee of U.S. security firm DynCorp, Oct. 14, 2004, Iraq
Army Chief Warrant Officer William Brennan, Oct. 15, 2004, Iraq
Marine Cpl. Kevin Dempsey, 23, Nov. 13, 2004, Iraq
Army Sgt. Joseph Michael Nolan, 27, Nov. 18, 2004, Iraq
Army Lt. Col. Michael J. McMahon, 41, Nov. 27, 2004, Afghanistan
Army (National Guard) Staff Sgt. Henry E. Irizarry, 38, Dec. 3, 2004, Iraq
Army (National Guard) Spc. Robert Hoyt, 21, Dec. 11, 2004, Iraq
Army Staff Sgt. Thomas E. Vitagliano, 33, Jan. 17, 2005, Iraq
Barbara Heald, 60, civilian employee of the Army, Jan. 29, 2005, Iraq
Marine Lance Cpl. Lawrence Philippon, 22, May 8, 2005, Iraq
Lance Cpl. John T. Schmidt III, 21, May 11, 2005, Iraq
Army Spec. Christopher Hoskins, 21, June 21, 2005, Iraq
Army Maj. Steve Reich, 34, June 28, 2005, Afghanistan
Marine Sgt. David Coullard, 32, Aug. 1, 2005, Iraq
Marine Capt. Brian S. Letendre, 27, May 3, 2006, Iraq
Marine Cpl. Stephen Bixler, 20, May 4, 2006, Iraq
Marine Cpl. Jordan C. Pierson, 21, Aug. 25, 2006, Iraq
Source - Stamford Advocate via AP
Additional Source Information
A US politician tipped as the next US President and known to flavor state power to define gay marriage laws will address the Conservative Party Conference in Bournemouth next month, according to reports.
John McCain, senior Senator from Arizona, who voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment in 2004 and has been praised by gay lobby group the Log Cabin Republicans, will speak at the opening evening of the Tory annual gathering. [...]
He has previously been critical of President George W Bush’s stance on gay marriage, but more recently has fallen in line with Republican policy as seen in his support of the more recent Federal Marriage Amendment, in what commentators describe as political pandering to cement his candidacy.
He was recently criticized for endorsing the actions of anti-gay activist Jerry Falwell after agreeing to keynote the spring graduation of Liberty University. (source)
Well, if I were being crude and flippant about this, I would say, “gay friendly my ass”. But I would never say such a thing. The fact is, John McCain is just like any other Republican candidate for President. He has to appeal to these right wing whackos just to get a place at the poker table. Otherwise, he’s out. We all know that.
And besides, who am I go criticize him when we have our own gay whackos (yes, I know... some would say that I’m one of them) within our own community. I won’t mention any names because that would be indiscrete of me (Log Cabin Republicans). I can understand that they think he’s wonderful because he voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment in 2004, but you know, that’s just really not enough.
And more recently, he now supports the Federal Marriage Amendment in an effort to be more in line with his bigoted Party, along with keeping company with the likes of Jerry Falwell, when he gave the keynote address at Liberty University.
So, why on earth would the Log Cabin Republicans support this man? Because in the Republican Party, this is the best they can do. What they should be saying is, “Please, now that you’ve knocked us to the ground with that sucker punch, please kick us some more so that we know our place in society.” It’s pathetic, and the Log Cabin Republicans are pathetic.
How on earth are we going to come to a place where we can demand equality when we endorse someone who has no interest in giving us equality? I’m not a single-issue voter, but to me, if a candidate starts out with this view, the only way he would get my vote is if he really could come through with a plan to end our part in Iraq, solve the problem in New Orleans, and feed the people in this country who are homeless and unemployed. Then, I would be able to vote for him because my own desire for equality would be outweighed by the good of the country.
Oh, and while he’s at it, maybe McCain can fix this “immigration problem” that has been a problem for the last fifteen years, but has only become “an issue” in the press in the last year or so (President Bush to the rescue). I’m sure politics have nothing to do with that since everything seems to be going so well in Iraq (2,855 coalition deaths, 2,628 Americans).
It’s all about diversions, all of it. I just wish more people could see through this stuff. We can hope that the voters will see through it this November.
Out in Arizona....
Proposition 107, the Protect Marriage Initiative, seeks to amend Arizona’s Constitution so that an existing ban on same-sex unions would be strengthened.
But those who oppose the proposition say its negative repercussions would extend far beyond the gay community.
Arizona law bans same-sex marriages, but this initiative would bolster the law by preventing judges from overturning it in the future.
Protect Marriage Arizona, a pro-Proposition 107 group, said the initiative seeks to protect the traditional family.
The amendment would define marriage as being between a man and a woman and prevent unmarried persons from receiving any legal status that resembles that of married couples.
James Quinn, facilitator of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered and Queer Coalition at ASU, said Proposition 107 would affect children, single parents, senior citizens and domestic partnerships. [...]
According to the 2000 U.S. Census, out of the 118,196 unmarried couples in Arizona, 12,000 were homosexual partnerships.
That means approximately 106,000 heterosexual domestic partnerships in the state would be affected if the initiative passes. (source)
This is from a college newspaper. So, I will try to excuse their naiveté when it comes to understanding issues that don’t directly effect them. I have such little patience for it because I, if I can use myself as an example for a moment, don’t just care about issues that effect my community - the gay community. I care about people who suffer from cancer, depression, and other ailments. I am passionately against discrimination against other people, even when I am not a member of that group.
So when someone says...
“According to the 2000 U.S. Census, out of the 118,196 unmarried couples in Arizona, 12,000 were homosexual partnerships.
That means approximately 106,000 heterosexual domestic partnerships in the state would be affected if the initiative passes.”
...I find that rather insulting and infuriating. It’s telling me that, since this will effect heterosexuals also, we should not pass this amendment. In other words, I can assume from that, that these same people would think that it’s ok to let it pass if we could only contain it to heterosexual couples.
Bullshit - all of it. But Arizona is not the hot issue here.
Discrimination against a targeted group of people is a black mark on the society it resides in. It shows that the weakest minds will succumb to the mob mentality of the majority against the minority. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right thing to do or not. All of that goes out the door.
And I will probably have to abandon a bit of my integrity when I go out to visit Kent’s parents this spring because of it. I will be visiting a state that has told people like me, in no uncertain terms, that I am nothing. Can I do that? Am I a big enough person to rise above it all, for them? Will they even realize that I gave in against my principles for the higher purpose of love? You see, I put little faith in the principles of my fellow Americans anymore. I fully expect this amendment to pass. And then, I guess their marriages will be so much stronger for it.
And after the dust settles, what is really missing in this argument is love. People are so bent on blaming one group for all the ills of marriage, when that group has never been involved in marriage in the first place. We’d like to be. Many of us lesser beings would like to give it a try. But we can’t. You will make sure of that.
Grant Jones, a gay sophomore understands the issue, and got it right.
Grant Jones, a microbiology sophomore who is in a same-sex relationship, said if the initiative were passed it wouldn’t affect him right now, but it could have a negative impact later on.
“In the future, I want to get married, and I think I should have the right to visit my loved one in the hospital if they get sick,” Jones said.
Jones said he thinks marriage shouldn’t be a primary focus for the government right now because there are bigger issues taking place.
“This is singling out people who have a different set of beliefs when there are so many more horrible things going on in the world,” Jones said. “I mean, aren’t we at war?”
Yes, we are at war. And, to cover up all our horrible mistakes; torture at the hands of our own troops, a genocide that we helped to orchestra under the guise of “freedom”, the tactic to be used to cover up and divert our attention from all of that is to divide and conquer. Find an easy target (gays or illegal immigrants) and set them up for a fall to create a diversion.
The “protection of marriage” from the dregs of society (gay couples), is such a diversion.
Didn’t we do this at least once before? We, or is it “they”, should be down right proud of ourselves, or is it “themselves”? I don’t know. We are no longer one people. We are sub groups pitted against each other. All the while, we tire of hearing about the conflict in Iraq, which is “getting a little better each day”, the threat of Iran, and where hell did the problem with Korea go?
No, we don’t have time for those problems right now. Right now, we still need to take time, right up to the November election, tearing people down and putting them in their place. And after this is done, the people in Arizona, and Idaho, and Michigan, and Ohio should sit back and ask themselves the following questions: Do you feel a bit better about your marriage now? Do you feel more secure that your family is now safe from the threat against your marriage? Do you feel better about yourself now that you have stepped all over the equality of a less significant group? Will this strengthen your marriage to the point that you will no longer seek that divorce?
Hey, it’s the American Way after all. It used to be about caring for each other. And this was back in Idaho where I grew up. Or, were we just hateful and prejudiced people then also, and I just didn’t notice it?
And while all of this is happening, our eyes are not on the real target. Think about it.
Nothing is as it seems.
Fears of a gay “brain drain” over Wisconsin’s pending vote on banning same-sex marriage, and the lack of partner benefits for gay employees of state institutions, may be starting to come to fruition.
Rob Carpick, an associate professor of engineering at the University of Wisconsin-Madison researcher who has won millions of dollars in grants for his research in the field of nanotechnology, is leaving for the more gay-friendly University of Pennsylvania.
He takes with him the funding - some $3.4 million in grants from the National Science Foundation, branches of the U.S. military and private companies since 2000.
“After six and one-half years of working very hard, I found it’s problematic to work in an environment where you are not treated equally,” Carpick, 37, told The Associated Press. “Fortunately there are other entities that are more enlightened than the state of Wisconsin on this issue and the University of Pennsylvania is one of them.”
Caprick married his longtime partner Carlos Chan in Canada in 2003. The marriage is not recognized in Wisconsin and the couple is not eligible for spousal benefits.
To get health insurance Chan, a chef, took a menial job at the university.
At the University of Pennsylvania Caprick will be able to get domestic partner benefits and Chan will be able to open a small restaurant and not worry about health insurance. (source)
I’ve thought a bit about this over the last few months, off and on. There is a whole bunch of people, myself included, that feel that if the state you are in is putting up barriers to your happiness, move to a state that will help you be the most you can be.
There is still a lot of discrimination in the United States for gay citizens. And, among the different states, what gay people can and can not achieve in terms of more equality, is all over the board. The southern states are generally the worst places to live for gays, as is the mid-west. California seems more tolerable, and time will tell where Washington State will end up. Idaho is set, from last I heard, to pass an amendment outlawing gay marriage in November.
In the East, things seem a bit more hospitable. In Connecticut, we have a law banning the firing of gay people based solely on their sexual orientation. And with a Civil Union, we are eligible for health benefits on the same policy, if you can stand the idea of being in a civil union (my baggage).
So, it would seem, as in the example above with Rob Carpick, gay people and their partners are traveling much more these days in an effort to find a better and more fair existence for themselves. Many will say that this is “federalism” at it’s best - you don’t like the way one state runs things, then move to another state. In other words, each state has a right to determine their own laws. I can understand that.
Yet, I can’t seem to reconcile myself with the notion that the reason that people are moving around is to avoid the bigotry and prejudice that exists in those states. Isn’t there something wrong with simply dismissing the notion of discrimination by saying, “you don’t like it here, move”? Each state can have it’s own flavor and it’s one environment. But isn’t there something inherently wrong with the reasoning of, “We discriminate against your kind in this state. We are damn proud of that because we don’t like your kind. If you don’t like being treated like this, then move.”
Somehow, that just seems well, un-American to me. Or, maybe it is American, and we as a nation, just general suck when it comes to fairness? Or do we as a nation really care about fairness when it comes to the minority I happen to be a member of? We should at least be honest about it.
“Wal-Mart Partners With National Gay and Lesbian Group - also Hires Gay-Marketing Shop as Retailer Works to Alter Image,” displays on a headline in this morning’s Advertising Age website.
Advertising Age (AdAge.com) reports: “Despite an ongoing review for its $578 million ad account, Wal-Mart hired Witeck-Combs Communications, a marketing shop known for its work targeting the gay and lesbian consumer market, according to Bob Witeck, president of the Washington-based firm.” (source)
There’s just something about Wal-mart I can’t stand. You can call me a snob if you want. If Wal-mart really wants to “woo” me, they can take that $578 million and start paying their workers a decent wage. That would be a good start in my book.
It doesn’t matter to me how “gay friendly” their company becomes. If they treat their workers to little more than minimum wage with no way to advance within the company, it’s just not good enough. If they won’t hire older workers because they demand what they’re worth, it’s just not good enough. Go to a Wal-mart and just trying to find a career employee. There are none. Go to Macy’s or Sears, you will find plenty.
A company has to do right by it’s employees. Second to that on my list is the fairness the organization has within it’s management for benefits, promotion, and hiring policies towards it’s employees - including extending health benefits to the partners of it’s gay employees, even when the state won’t.
On the second point, it seems that Wal-mart is willing to make that challenge.
Wal-Mart, the nation’s largest private employer, is broadening its anti-discrimination policy to cover gay and lesbian workers, bringing the company into line with most other big companies.
Virtually all of the Fortune 500 have similar policies but Wal-Mart is being pummeled by conservative Christians who apparently feel the company’s Arkansas roots should make it immune to societal forces. (source)
Sounds fair enough to me, but then it goes on to say,
The policy will not affect benefits, which Wal-Mart does not offer to unmarried partners of any orientation. But Williams said sexual orientation will be added to the company’s existing “diversity-awareness” training programs.
Gay rights groups said that Wal-Mart has a history of fair treatment but they welcomed the explicit change in the company’s policy.
“This action helps ensure that Wal-Mart’s gay and lesbian employees will be judged on their merits, not on their sexual orientation,” said Zack Wright, a lawyer with Seattle-based Pride Foundation, which pushed Wal-mart to change its policy.
“It’s a tremendous step forward, a real symbol of how far we’ve come in recent years,” said Michael Adams, an attorney and spokesman for the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund.
Wait, so this policy doesn’t extend health benefits to anyone - gay or straight partners? This goes back to my first point on how Wal-mart’s employees are treated in the first place.
It’s funny, a spokesman for Lamgda Legal, a gay legal firm, calls this “a tremendous step forward”. How easily Wal-mart can “woo” us. Shouldn’t we demand more? Decent wages, a chance for advancement, and benefits for our families might be a good start.
If you are sending your kid to a college or university, or starting to look around at which school may be more tolerant to minority students, here’s a list to get you started. If you have a gay or lesbian child, I’m sure you know that some schools are much more accepting than others. If you want your child to go to a school that is about diversity and embraces it, this list may be of help to you.
The list is composed, in part, from input from students who have attended these schools.
Accepting Schools for Gay Students
New York University
Eugene Lang College/New School University
New College of Florida
Macalester College
College of the Atlantic
Simon’s Rock College of Bard
Wellesley College
Mount Holyoke College
Bryn Mawr College
Bennington College
Emerson College
Lawrence University
Harvey Mudd College
Grinnell College
Smith College
Wesleyan University
Swarthmore College
Hampshire College
Vassar College
Reed College
Non-Accepting Schools for Gay Students
Baylor University
Texas A&M University-College Station
University of Notre Dame
Hampden-Sydney College
Brigham Young University
Wheaton College
College of the Holy Cross
Grove City College
University of Tennessee-Knoxville
Samford University
Seton Hall University
Valparaiso University
Pepperdine University
Washington and Lee University
Miami University
Trinity College
North Carolina State University
University of Utah
Calvin College
Providence College
U.S. astronomers say they have found the first direct proof of the existence of so-called dark matter. [...]
Astronomers say the observations provide the strongest evidence yet that most of the matter in the universe is dark. Despite considerable evidence for dark matter, some scientists have proposed alternative theories for gravity where it is stronger on intergalactic scales than predicted by Newton and Einstein, removing the need for dark matter. However, such theories cannot explain the observed effects of that collision.
“A universe that’s dominated by dark stuff seems preposterous, so we wanted to test whether there were any basic flaws in our thinking,” said Doug Clowe of the University of Arizona-Tucson, and leader of the study. “These results are direct proof that dark matter exists.” (source)
All they have to do to find “dark matter” is to look in the White House. It has to be “dark matter” - there’s a complete void of “gray matter” there.
For the past two weeks, top Republican party officials have spread the word that they wouldn’t mind seeing Joe Lieberman win re-election.
Monday, President Bush for the first time spoke publicly about the Connecticut Democrat’s bid to win the seat as an independent, telling a nationally-televised news conference: “I’m staying out of Connecticut. You know, that’s what the party suggested, the Republican Party of Connecticut, and plus there’s a better place to spend our money, time and resources.” [...]
“It seems like a de facto endorsement of Senator Lieberman to me,” Lamont said Monday. “Here we are, ten days after the primary, and President Bush and Dick Cheney and [Republican National Committee Chairman] Ken Mehlman and an awful lot of others are saying that Joe Lieberman is, in effect, our guy.” (source)
If it walks like a Republican, talks like a Republican, votes like a Republican, it probably is a Republican. Of course the Republican Party and the President want Joe Lieberman reelected to office -- he votes Republican most of the time. And on the issue of the war in Iraq, that goes up to 100% of the time. The problem for the President is that an endorsement from him could be the kiss of death for most any political candidate these days. I wish the President would give him full endorsement. Hell, maybe even another photo opp of them kissing again.
I have a few issues with Senator Joe Lieberman.
Joe Lieberman doesn’t have a single opinion of his own. Every time he votes, he sticks his finger up in the air to see which way the political wind is blowing.
He’s been in Washington too long. He’s lost touch with the people of Connecticut. I could say the same for most all of them in Washington. I believe they should have term limits. They go to Washington and, over time, I believe they completely lose touch with the concerns of The People.
He overwhelmingly seems to vote Republican. He claims to be for the environment saying that his record on the environment is second to none. That’s not saying a lot today. The Republican Party in power today didn’t exactly raise the bar very high on environmental issues.
There’s only so much mileage you can get from non-war-related issues today. And for goodness sakes, steer clear of important issues such as how the average American family is going to be able to afford to heat their homes this winter, let alone afford the gas to get to work. No one is offering a solution to that, other than the President dipping into our oil reserves to “ease the burden”. That’s the same reasoning that says that it really doesn’t matter that this war will end up costing our country YOUR kids a trillion dollars when everything is said and done. We don’t have to pay it off today, so all is good. We can dip into the oil reserves and ease the burden for... three months. All is good.
But then what?
Finally... am I the only one that has noticed the comparison between Senator Lieberman and Senator Palpatine, who went on to become the evil Darth Sidious?
Liberman photo credit, CNN
I have made a few changes to my website this weekend. Because of a friend of mine, I’ve been made aware of the challenges that blind people face when using the Internet.
For my site at least, I wanted to make that a bit easier for them. So I’ve added some functionality to the site that will hopefully make it a bit easier for them. I’ve already had some positive comments on this.
First, I’ve added code that will actually read each entry and speak it through your speakers attached to your computer. If you click on the image on the right side, labeled “Listen Now”, a box will come up and start reading the last twenty entries on the site. You can step through them one by one as you wish.
Second, if you subscribe to iTunes, you can subscribe to this site, with either a PC or a MAC, and simply download the entries and listen to them at your leisure.
I’m still researching the issue, but this should be a good start, and I’ve been told that it is a big help to some already.
Two of the four Republican candidates for governor are courting an unlikely constituency in their long-shot bids to win the hearts of Republican voters:
Gays and lesbians.
Scottsdale businessman Mike Harris and Gilbert resident Gary Tupper questioned what Harris called their party’s “holier than thou religious attitude.” They said independent voters, including gays and lesbians, could help turn the tide in an election where most Republican voters still are undecided. Both candidates trail in the polls just weeks before the Sept. 12 primary.
Their comments appeared in Aug. 10’s Echo Magazine, a statewide gay publication that devoted its most recent edition to gay Republicans. The two candidates said there’s a place in the Republican Party for gay men and women.
“When two people are in a loving relationship for a long time, God bless ‘em,” Harris said in an interview with The Arizona Republic. “Who are gay people? They are our brothers, our sisters . . . They are our family. The Republican Party is on the way to imploding with their holier than thou religious attitude.” (source)
The Republicans are reaching out to gays and lesbians huh? And just as we gear up for the November election. How predictable. I understand that this is happening in Arizona, but I won’t be surprised to see this sort of thing spring up here and there as we approach the November election.
“The two candidates said there’s a place in the Republican Party for gay men and women.”
There is no place in the Republican Party for us as it stands today, unless you are a self-loathing homosexual who cares nothing about equality. The Republicans of today say they are “defending marriage”. Fair enough. I don’t agree with that, but as a reasonable man (and voter), I can understand that.
But why is it that I keep seeing on every single state constitutional amendment that is being pushed by their party language that ALWAYS defines marriage as “one man, one woman” AND ALWAYS goes on to say that civil unions or “anything that approximates marriage” will also be unlawful? If they were only defending what they consider to be marriage, why go that extra step to ensure that gay couples will get no protection under the law? Do I smell a “moral values” agenda going on? Or perhaps its just old fashioned gay bashing wrapped around the cloak of “moral values”?
All of this aside, I believe that, as much as the Republican Party loves to call the Democratic Party the party of “special interests” that have “no direction”, the Republic Party is fast becoming the party of spend spend spend, and war war war. And here I always thought that they were the party of “smaller government”, “less government spending”, “controlling the deficit”, and “being less intrusive” in the lives of every day Americans. That’s their party line. That’s what they claim.
How long do they think we will actually continue to buy that line? Well, if the polls are any indication, not much longer. I also believe that their push for “moral values” will back fire. All that is serving are the deep divisions in this country against certain groups of people. That will never build a strong America.
And this from a student at Arizona State University.
Prop. 107 isn’t changing the law, it’s changing the language of the law to exclude any and all domestic-partner benefits. Both straight and gay couples take advantage of the benefits.
Most people don’t realize that if the initiative becomes law, it will hurt far more straight people than it will gay people.
To give you the numbers, according to the 2000 U.S. Census, there were 118,196 unmarried couples, which totals 10.7 percent of all couples in the state.
And of those 118,196 people, only 12,000 were same-sex couples.
Therefore, about 10.2 percent of all unmarried couples in Arizona were same-sex couples in 2000. If you do the math, you can figure out that in 2000, roughly 90 percent of Arizona’s unmarried couples were straight in and would be hurt by Prop 107.
Got that? This is a straight issue, not a gay one.
Actually, it’s all about caring for people. I understand what she is saying, but we have to get away from this “us” vs. “them” mentality. We are all Americans. We all deserve equal rights. End of story.
When AIDS first crept into the public consciousness in the early 1980s, the victims of the terrifying new disease were mostly gay men in North America and Europe. One after another they died, as partners and friends despaired of becoming infected themselves and wondered if the next of the innumerable funerals they attended would be their own.
But 25 years later, gay men have found themselves relegated to the periphery of the HIV-AIDS pandemic, which has expanded exponentially into every continent and to every possible segment of humanity.
The shift in focus from men who have sex with men (MSM), as they’re now called, to women and children, and from western countries to Africa and other southern regions, was nowhere more apparent than at the week-long International AIDS Conference, which wrapped up Friday. [...]
Franck DeRose, the Washington-based executive director of the global Condom Project, called it deplorable that there was no representation of the MSM community “inside the conference.”
“I’m not resentful. I’m a little bit disappointed actually,” he said. “Am I surprised there’s not something on MSM? Yes I am. I would think that we would be a little bit more progressive.”
While acknowledging that gay men were the most affected in the early days of the epidemic, conference co-chair Dr. Helene Gayle of Atlanta said that since then, HIV-AIDS has become much more diverse. (source)
AIDS is a very “progressive” disease - it will accept the whole rainbow of people into it’s fold.
Years ago when I was a volunteer as a “buddy” for an AIDS organization, all of our clients were gay men. As a buddy, I would take on clients and help them out in a variety of ways - clean house, shop for them, run errands, take them for drives, etc. It was something I could do and since I was not yet employed, I was able to pour a lot of time into doing this.
Every couple of weeks, it was required that we had a buddy support group meeting. This was very important because of the nature of the work we were doing, it was a place we could go to find support for ourselves. Once in awhile, a fellow buddy would let us know that his client buddy had died. I remember dreading going to this meeting. When your client dies, you are required to let the organization know, mostly for your support. My buddy died in the hospital and I was with him the night he died, along with his father and his husband. At the meeting, I told everyone, “I’m afraid I have some bad news. John (not his real name) died two days ago.” I tried to say more, but started crying. And that was the place to do it. That was what the group was for. I was strong for his family and never shed a tear in their presence. But afterwards, I realized how attached I had become to him. This is part of being human. You feel life, or you don’t.
At one such meeting, the subject came up that we had a new potential client. The only problem was that he was a straight man who had AIDS. This was twelve or so years ago, so it was unusual to have a straight man come to us for help. But there was no where else for him to turn. AIDS was primarily in this country at the time a disease that gay men had. This straight man contracted the disease through IV drug use. He was Hispanic, and he “didn’t think” he would have “much of a problem” being around gay men.
Well, many of us had a problem with him being part of our organization. He was straight. Who the hell did he think he was coming to us for help? Where the hell was he and people like him when we needed their help? The answer is obvious. They were no where to be found because they really didn’t care if gays died from this or not. That is as honest as I can be about this, and to this day, I believe that to be true.
But, we concluded, rightfully so, that we were doing exactly the same thing to him that was done to us. I remember saying at the meeting after coming to the conclusion that we should take him as a client, “Where does the cycle of hate stop? The man dislikes us, perhaps hates us, but the fact is, he has AIDS and needs our help.” It’s sometimes difficult to overcome the anger we have for society, which is totally justified, into doing the right thing. We did the right thing by taking him in. And afterwards, his ideas changed as far as gay men were concerned.
So today, I was remembering all of that as I read this story. They have an AIDS conference and some people are angry that gay men were not talked about at the conference. I admit that I’m a bit surprised at this as well, but we have to look at the reality of this. AIDS does not take into consideration who you are, who you sleep with, what your gender is, what your nationality is.... so why should we? In Africa, there is an entire generation of children who are now orphans because both of their parents have died from AIDS. That is reality.
In this country, I’m alarmed that women are contracting AIDS at an alarming rate. I’m frightened that I’m seeing this more and more in the African American community in this country. I’m concerned that more and more young gay men are contracting this disease because AIDS is now being portrayed as a “manageable disease” with the use of “drug cocktails”, which apparently is being reduced to “one pill a day”.
And I’m really concerned that our government can hardly say the word “condom”, let alone say that we should be talking about “safe sex” to children as early as middle school (hey, they are having sex at that age!). But our government thinks that if we just pray hard enough, think good thoughts, and tell the kids to be abstinent, that will be good enough. It’s like a take-off from the Nancy Reagan days, where her drug campaign slogan was “Just say NO to drugs”. Yeah, that worked well. Keep thinking those good thoughts, Mr. Bush. Oh, and pray! I don’t know what world our government lives in, but it’s not reality!
The Bush administration is accustomed to criticism of its AIDS policies by those attending the biennial International AIDS Conference. But this week, two U.S. leaders in the fight against HIV — including Bush’s gay former AIDS czar — took aim at what they called the president’s “ideologically driven, abstinence-until-marriage focus that places many at risk of needlessly contracting HIV.”
In an opinion piece published Aug. 14 in the Toronto Star, timed to coincide with the city hosting the XVI annual International AIDS Conference Aug. 13-18, Scott Evertz, Bush’s former director of the Office of National AIDS Policy, wrote that current domestic policy is “creating confusion and fear among [HIV-prevention organizations] regarding the appropriate role of condoms.” [...]
The pair wrote that comprehensive HIV prevention could be a lifesaver for people around the globe, from underage sex workers in developing countries to “the young gay teen in Washington D.C., told to abstain until marriage when marriage is impossible.” (source)
The fight is not about who got air time and who didn’t get mentioned. That fight is ridding AIDS from the face of this earth once and for all - not arguing about who was mentioned and who wasn’t mentioned. We need to keep our eye on the target and stop all the fighting. What a waste of energy.
I wrote this piece some time ago, but never posted it. Some of my writing I do to vent to myself. Some is not for public consumption. So now, it’s either publish it, or delete it. I decided to publish it.
Written May 2, 2005...
I’ve been around for a long time.
I lost my dad when I was six years old. I was abused by my step-father for more years than I want to remember. I went through hell growing up and have seen things and experienced things in high school that most people never witness in a lifetime. I’ve lost most of my friends to AIDS when my country did nothing to help. They were Americans. They were us.
Yet, America still doesn’t get it. Yesterday, it was AIDS. They did nothing because they said it was a “gay disease”, even though every single statistic has shown that the disease does not respect the sexual orientation of the individual. At the time, in our defense, we tried to say that in Africa it was spread by heterosexual contact. We did this because as we were dieing, people like Bob Hope and Eddie Murphy were making crude jokes about how AIDS was killing all the gays, just for a few laughs. It’s ok. I did take it personally, but I fucking got over it. But America never gets beyond it.
Today, AIDS has been replaced by “marriage equality”. And at the heart of all of this, AIDS and marriage equality are the same, in one key aspect -- they are both used to separate us from the rest of America. They are used to make us different.
And why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
I wish I knew the answer to that question.
If I knew, maybe I would know why I’m so scared to hold my husbands hand in public and acknowledge what we have and what we are, and that our love is absolutely timeless. They can’t take that away from us.
Every God damned time I see a straight couple hold hands and show their love for each other, I am filled with envy and contempt. Envy because I want that for myself. Contempt because they have no idea how lucky they are to be able to do that without fearing for their lives. And, at the same time, they put that in my face. If we did that, we would be told that we are “flaunting our lifestyle.”
My country is ugly and hateful.
“Christians” are ugly and hateful in spirit. They spit on our spirit of love and call it vile and an abomination. They know nothing.
We are beautiful and remarkable people. I only feel love. And if I show that love, I may die for it. Is there any hope this will ever change?
We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature. - Abraham Lincoln, First Inaugural Address, Monday, March 4, 1861
I received this notice from the Human Rights Campaign Fund Action Center. It’s exciting news about legislation that was passed that will greatly benefit gay and lesbian families for retirement issues.
It is a great and historic day for our community. Today, federal legislation called the Pension Protection Act was signed into law and it includes two provisions that extend important financial protections to more Americans - including same-sex couples. This is an incredibly exciting victory that will be helpful to millions of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender families. This Act is important because it has two hard-fought HRC-backed provisions that we lobbied for intensely and secured its inclusion. These provisions will help same-sex couples nationwide. Basically what this means is that these two provisions ensure that the U.S. tax code, in times of emergencies, is fairer to more Americans, including our community, and puts us on a more equal footing with other couples. Here’s how these provisions can impact the lives of GLBT Americans: The first provision, called “Non-Spousal Rollover”
The second provision, known as “Hardship Distribution”:
Also, an article in the Los Angeles Times stated...
“I think it’s incredibly significant, and I think it’s historic,” said Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights organization. “What we really are seeing here, I think, is a huge step toward leveling the field.”
“It’s a meaningful part of the story,” said J. Mark Iwry, a Brookings Institution scholar and former Treasury Department pension official. “The gay community should definitely benefit.”
The move was made quietly and without controversy. In Congress, the idea of easing restrictions on the transfer of nest eggs was generally described as a fairness issue for family members and was not framed as a gay rights issue.
Go to the HRC website for more information.
As privacy issues continue to concern nearly everyone, gay and lesbian consumers in particular may be curious to know that the net’s largest retailer, Amazon.com, would like to know more about you.
In a report last week, the Seattle Post Intelligencer revealed Amazon is developing a system to gather and keep massive amounts of intimate information about its millions of shoppers, including their sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity and income.
Do you ever wonder why everyone is trying to collect as much data as they can? You order something online and you are asked questions about your personal life that seem to have nothing to do with your actual purchase. Another thing that creeps me out is the collection of data that you are never told about. For example, I shop occasionally at CVS Pharmacy and Stop & Shop. At both stores, if you show them your card, they will scan it. This of course allows you to get discounts on certain items.
In the case of CVS, they will print out coupons that you can redeem within a certain time period (usually only two weeks or so). But, you are usually given coupons that are relevant to you. They are relevant because some computer has analyzed your buying patterns and it knows what you like and what you don’t like. The Stop & Shop computer also knows what I cook. I did think it was strange that I got a brochure with soup recipes in it from Stop & Shop, after buying ingredients on several occasions for different soups I was going to make. I mean, how would a program take the information from a bunch of different ingredients and assume that I was going to make soup from those ingredients?
Soup is fairly harmless. Aside from the annoying brochure, which falls under my “junk mail” category, it has made me wonder about all the other information out there that is just floating around on all of us. What if someone had less than stellar motives in how that data was to be used? I’m not talking about the crooks that we all know are lurking in cyberspace. I’m talking about all the data that corporate America is collecting on all of us.
But it’s safe right?
The Seattle-based company, however, said it has no immediate plan to implement such a program, and was quick to issue statements assuring customers that their information would be kept private.
“Amazon is always careful how it uses customer data so the customer experience will be as good as it can be,” Amazon.com spokeswoman Patty Smith told the paper.
Right.... I’m sure they will keep it safe. After all, data is never stolen. Although, occasionally, mistakes do happen.
AOL recently published a list of more than 650,000 user queries that revealed names, addresses and Social Security numbers, and the company this week apologized and removed the data. It is unknown how many copies of the sensitive information were made.
On June 26, 2006, Eric Rofes died of a heart attack. I didn’t know Eric. I knew his partner Crispin when he lived in Connecticut. When Crispin moved to San Francisco, we lost touch. It was a strange thing for me because when I heard that Eric had passed away, the article mentioned that his partner was named “Crispin”. I did a search to find out more information, wondering if the “Crispin” they were referring to was my old friend, since the name is rather unusual. It turned out, it was, and I have written about it.
What I didn’t know is what Crispin had to go through after Eric died.
Eric and Crispin were of course at the forefront of the Gay Marriage movement. They had long held Californian domestic partnership, and also married when (briefly) we believed that San Francisco law permitted us to do so. They had made for one another all the necessary legal arrangements: powers of attorney, mutual wills, etc etc. All their bases were covered, so they thought. As soon as he heard the news, Crispin had flown straight out to Provincetown, where Eric died, to make funeral arrangements. A friend who accompanied them said that when Crispin began to detail the requirements for the cremation and commitment at the funeral home in Provincetown, the funeral director drew himself up and demanded to know what the basis of their relationship was. He told Crispin: “I don’t believe you will be making the funeral arrangements”. It required the intervention of NGLTF lawyers and lawyer friends on both coasts to convince the funeral home that he was indeed authorized as a legal partner to make the arrangements. Crispin requested an autopsy, which was contested by the Medical Examiner on the same grounds, and the cremation was subsequently questioned as well (they called during the funeral to argue the case with Crispin).
This stands as a lesson to all of us. We are continually told that as Queers, we do not need to be allowed to marry because all legal avenues of partnership are open to us as domestic partners. For Christ sake- this happened in Massachusetts! They had the gall to question a 16 year old relationship, legally bound as far as two gay men can go. At a time when Crispin was utterly bereft and distraught they had the temerity to impugn his and Eric’s relationship, which was as closely legally covered as they could make it. (Eric’s family, by the way, have too much respect for Crispin to intervene- they would not, I think, dream of subverting his moral authority to decide the arrangements). (source)
I swear, the world is so damned unfair. For people out there who are legally married, I hope the hell you know and understand what that marriage gave you in legal terms. For the rest of us, we have to go through this crap. Sorry. I said I wasn’t going to harp on the protections of marriage, but I’m so pissed right now because this happened to a friend of mine, and it was so f****** unnecessary. This is happening to real people every single day.
What they did to Crispin was just cruel.
It’s important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It’s not only life of babies, but it’s life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet. - George W. Bush
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Abu Oudai, chief rocket coordinator for the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigade in the West Bank told WorldNetDaily that Hezbollah’s ’tremendous victory’ had inspired his group and other terror outfits to focus their ’resistance’ on rocket attacks. [...]
“If we do [what Hezbollah accomplished], this Israeli army full of gay soldiers and full of corruption and with old-fashioned war methods can be defeated also in Palestine.”
Unlike the US military, Israel has embraced gay soldiers, some would say through combative necessity, rather than a wish to expand their liberal credentials. Israel has mandatory military service for both men and women. Typically, men serve for 36 months, women serve for 24 months.
In 1983, the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) adopted regulations which officially allowed homosexuals to serve in the military.
Oudai may not be impressed with the prospect of gay personnel, but security and mental health officials for the IDF have found no evidence the long-standing inclusion of homosexuals in the IDF has harmed operational effectiveness, combat readiness, unit cohesion, or morale in the Israeli military. (source)
From my point of view, even though both sides are claiming victory in this conflict, it seems to me that Hezbollah got their asses kicked.
And, it’s too bad that the United States hasn’t learned that soldiers serve in the military to serve their country and to do a job. Their sexual preference should be irrelevant. The Israeli Defense Force knows this. When are we going to get the message?
So that's where all the seed goes!
Mimi guarding the shoes
Maxwell caught in a yawn. Rather undignified really.
I was reading The Advocate this morning in preparation for my dentist appointment. The two seem to go hand in hand. Generally bad news, followed up by a teeth cleaning, and the beginnings of a final step to finish off an implant procedure that started months ago. As a note, I would recommend anyone going to the dentist not listen to Verdi’s Othello while under the influence of nitrous oxide. Not good. But back to The Advocate letter.
I was struck by one letter from David Hiovich who lives in Los Angeles. He said,
I read Jeremy Koeph’s words and realized I could have written those same exact words 30 years ago [Outspoken, July 4]. What does this say about our progress for gay rights in the last 30 years? Parents still disown us. People are still disgusted by us. We have a president who insists we cannot marry. What has changed? Nothing--nada--zero. Keopf states, “The inner fire yearning to explode its full truth upon the world had finally been extinguished by my own self-acceptance.” This is what is so important to gays. As long as you accept yourself as you are, the others can go to hell! We are who we are.
And I too could have, and would have, said David Hiovich’s words five years ago as well. He’s right to a large extent. You can not put a price tag on self acceptance. This is true for all people - gay and straight, in whatever situation they find themselves in. If you have a sense of self worth and pride in yourself, that will carry you a long way through the trials of life.
A friend told me in an email recently, “being 50 is a weird motivator - you suddenly realize how few years you have left.” As a gay man who said too many good bye’s to friends who were in their twenties, I have always known that life is a fleeting resource. And I’m finding at the age of 51, that I’ve become somewhat of a pragmatist. On the one hand, a real “gay activist” never sheds his desire to make things better for his/her community. On the other hand, you argue that many of your perceived problems are self-made; if you could only accept yourself (so-called self acceptance), things would be so much better, or at least easier..
They would be, but it’s not real, except in the mind of the people “accepting” themselves. It all reminds me of an old Star Trek show, one of the first, where Captain Pike encounters a dieing race of beings call the Talosians. From that episode...
After the first officer and yeoman beam up, Pike remains behind with Vina, urging her to leave with him. Despite her growing attraction to the captain, Vina is unable to leave the planet. It is revealed that an expedition had indeed crash landed on Talos IV. Vina, the only survivor, was greatly injured and disfigured. With the aid of the Talosians’ illusions, however, she is able to appear beautiful and feel healthy.
The Talosians pledge to continue to provide Vina with the appearance of health and beauty while allowing her to roam the planet free of intervention. Realizing that she will be in good hands after all, Pike returns to the U.S.S. Enterprise.
The Talosians final message to Pike, “...you have reality and she has illusion. May you find your way as pleasant.”
Self acceptance has a reality to it, but it does not exist outside of your sense of being. In the real world, things really haven’t changed that much. Everything Mr. Hiovich said is still true, with one exception, we are much more visible now than any time in the past. This will lead to change because, as bigoted as people want to be, there really is nothing quite as powerful as having someone you care about come out, and tell you that they are gay or lesbian. That will personalize their bigotry. Suddenly, they have a clear choice to make. Either they can disown their loved one and give into their hatred and bigotry, or they can learn what it is they hate so much. And more times than not, love wins the day. I’ve seen it happen much more than the alternative.
But everything is relative. Personally, as I stated in my “I don’t care” entry, I was really stating that I have let go of a lot of things that, at this stage in my life, is just extra emotional baggage for me to carry around. I have accepted myself fully, and I honestly do love myself inside. But, people like Fred Phelps and all the rest, are real and their agenda is real. Don’t confuse self acceptance with giving up on a battle that should be fought. That is reality. Either you stand for something or you will fall for anything.
The battles we face for acceptance, and self acceptance, are two very different things.
I’ve made a decision in my life. As I get older, I’ve decided that I will hold out for equality for as long as I can. I will wait five years and then if Kent is in agreement, we will get a Connecticut civil union, assuming marriage still isn’t available to us. Why? Because, as I’ve said, I’m a pragmatist now. It will become more important for us to have the added legal protections that the civil union will offer. And even though it is inherently second class, I will have to swallow my pride and my hope for equality, and just do it. Then, I’m going to put it behind me, and LIVE.
The Defense Department discharged 726 service members last year for being gay, up about 10 percent from 2004, figures released by a gay rights group show.
The group, the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, obtained the information through a Freedom of Information Act request. A spokeswoman for the Defense Department, Lt. Col. Ellen Krenke, confirmed that it had released the information.
On Monday, the legal group released a breakdown of discharges by installation. A sharp increase occurred at Fort Campbell, Ky., where in 1999 a soldier was bludgeoned to death in his barracks by fellow soldiers who thought that he was homosexual. In 2004, 19 service members from the base were discharged, a number that climbed to 49 last year.
Fort Sill, Okla., had 27 dismissals last year, up from eight in 2004. Fort Leonard Wood, Mo., had 60 dismissals, up from 40 in 2004, and the Marine base at Parris Island, S.C., discharged 22, up from 12.
The Army, by far the largest branch, discharged more gay personnel last year than the other branches with 386, the figures show, followed by the Navy with 177, the Air Force with 88 and the Marines, the smallest force, with 75. [...]
More than 11,000 members have been discharged for that reason, the legal group said. (source)
I’m to a point where I’m laughing at this whole comedy of errors. Today in the Hartford Courant, there was a headline called Military Recruiters Faulted For Overly Aggressive Methods, which stated in part....
Military recruiters have increasingly resorted to overly aggressive tactics and even criminal activity to attract young troops to the battlefield, congressional investigators say.
Combat in Iraq, a decent commercial job market and tough monthly recruiting goals have made recruiters’ jobs more difficult, the Government Accountability Office said Monday. [...]
More than half the recruiting crimes reported in 2005 were by the Army, which is bearing the brunt of the war in Iraq. The Army announced last week it was on track to meet this year’s recruiting goal of 80,000 applicants, pulling itself up from a severe shortfall last year.
And if this isn’t bad enough, they keep sending troops back tour after tour. And for these troops from Alaska, they will be staying in Iraq.
Staff Sgt. Brian Bock learned a mere two hours before boarding a flight for home that his tour in Iraq had been extended at least four months.
He may not have made it back to Alaska -- but many of his belongings did. The boxes the 172nd Stryker Brigade officer had mailed home in advance kept showing up at the Fort Wainwright post office.
I think at this point I’m going to stop worrying so much about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. The military is compounding this problem by the dismissal of gay military personnel who want to serve. Why they would want to serve under this administration who apparently has such little regard for them is beyond me. I think it speaks to their conviction and patriotism for our country. But if it were me, I’d tell the military to take a hike until they got serious about fairness.
Still, I read that some gays are pressing the issue by signing up for service and on their application stating that they are gay. They are prepared to serve, if accepted. Of course, they won’t be accepted, but it does bring attention to the policy which is being viewed by more and more Americans as unfair and too costly to maintain.
This is really some scary stuff. I have to wonder when the LGBT community is going to “get it” that we’re seriously under attack. These things will affect us. And it’s not just those living in states where these laws are the worst. Anyone in any state right now is a target, and if we think that we’re safe in one state and not the other then we’re already losing.
Bill, keep complaining!
That was a comment left by DJ, a regular on this site. Thanks DJ for the comment and the encouragement. Honestly, I appreciate it!
At the risk of sounding negative... oh hell with it, this is going to sound negative, so I might as well stop pretending and stop trying to sugar-coat it. This all started a few weeks ago when “Dan”, a regular on this site, made a comment on one of my entries that said, “You are such a complainer Bill!” That really hit me hard, since he is a gay man. I guess that’s when I threw my arms up in the air and said, “To hell with it.”
I don’t post so much anymore. Why? Because nothing I say here matters. NOTHING. These are only my ideas.
We live in a country where our community is disposable. Our political leaders care only about our community in terms of how many votes they can get by scaring the shit out of voters because the fags are going to “destroy the sanctity of marriage”. What sanctity are they fighting for? Every single married couple I know with the exception of one, has divorced. Most all the heterosexuals I know who have been married are now on their third and fourth marriage. What the hell are they trying to protect, and who the hell are they trying to fool?
We live in a country where the Constitution of the United States is enforced when it serves the purpose of THE MAJORITY. My friends, if we are being totally honest here, most of the people in this country HATE US. Most won’t admit it. The will say they are “Christian people” and that they “do not hate”. They show it in other ways, more subtle ways - AT THE BALLOT BOX.
We live in a country where a small fraction even go to the ballot box. A great many of those people who say they support equal rights for our community never take the time to go to the ballot box to show that support in the form of a vote.
We live in a country where AIDS is still a “gay disease”. That’s very convenient because it’s not an issue they feel needs to be addressed. And those gay kids, you know... the ones we keep hearing about who are now getting AIDS left and right because they aren’t being safe... they are DISPOSABLE. No one cares - not even our own community. So why they hell should gay kids give a damn?
We live in a country where it’s still fully legal to fire someone because they are gay, in 36 states. A bill has been proposed in Congress... for the last 20 or so years to make it illegal to fire a person solely on the grounds of his or her sexual orientation. It’s never come close to passing. No one cares. The same can be said for a national hate crime law that would add “sexual orientation” to the national hate crimes law that is already in place. But Congress has repeatedly voted it down specifically because gays would be protected.
We live in a country where we are at war. Yet, the military is still discharging gay service members left and right for being gay. Many of those were ASKED - a violation of “Don’t ASK, Don’t Tell”. But they are discharged anyway. Why? Because no one cares. Even though many of these people are highly trained and speak Arabic, it’s more important to get rid of them because they are gay and might make some sexually insecure service men feel uncomfortable being around them. It would effect “unit cohesion”, we are told. If you honestly believe that bullshit, I have an ocean front property to sell you in Nebraska.
We live in a country where, on average, ten gay people are beaten to a pulp or killed every single day in this country, and it is never reported. These statistics are not kept because our federal government does not see us as needing protection. Hate crime statistics are kept on all other minority groups in this country, except for gays. I know, hard to believe, isn’t it?
We live in a country who, aside from the war in Iraq, will have two other big concerns in November’s elections - a ban on gay marriage in more state constitutions AND a ban on gay adoptions in various states. Apparently it is better to keep children in institutions rather than allow gay households become foster parents or adoptive parents. And often, it is disabled or disadvantaged children (you know, they ones no one else will take) who have special needs, that gay couples will take and care for. I still remember a story of an African American boy who was born HIV positive because his mother was a drug user. He was adopted by two men who cared for him and paid for his medical needs. When the boy turned 12 years old, he became zero positive. His body was able to eradicate the disease completely from his body. What should have been a time of joy became one of hardship. The state they lived in immediately started proceedings to take the child away from the only parents he ever knew because now, he was “desirable” and was “placeable” - just not with a gay couple. But who cares? Honestly, I would think that gas prices, the cost of heating fuel, the environment, and taking care of those who cannot take care of themselves would rank higher on the list than gay marriage or gay adoptions, but apparently not. Rest assured, when November comes, gay marriage and gay adoption will be higher on the list than those other concerns. And the American people will buy it hook, line, and sinker. I would bet money on it.
We live in a country where our own community doesn’t care about all of this discrimination. I’ve talked until I’m blue in the face on this site about how we should boycott states who pass these hateful amendments. I’ve also said that if I lived in a state such as Virginia or Texas, I would move because I didn’t want to live where I’m unwanted and I especially don’t want to support bigotry by paying state taxes to a state that openly discriminates. Yet, within my own community, I’m told, “...if we leave who will stay to fight...”, along with, “...you need to get a grip and deal...”. Wisconsin (the link) doesn’t have to worry about a boycott because we in the gay community don’t care if we are discriminated against. They can do as they wish and there will be no repercussions from this.
We live in a country where the Catholic Church and the Pope can say how we are “intrinsically disordered”, and we put up with it. They can turn around and blame all the child abuse within their church on gay priests, and we put up with it. Why? BECAUSE WE DON’T GIVE A DAMN!
We live in a country where we are told that there is always a shortage of blood. Gay men are barred for life from giving blood, unless you can honestly say that you’ve never been with a man since 1977. All blood today is testing rigorously. There is no justification for this life time ban. Yet, we do nothing about it. Why? Because we don’t care.
We live in a country where a majority of voters can go to the ballot box and vote away the rights of a minority they don’t like. So much for equal treatment under the law. So much for the 14th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution. So much for fairness.
Finally, this.....
Despite the constant persecution that rains downs upon my gay friends every day, most of them take the high road and continue to be compassionate and not bitter. (source)
I used to try to take the “high road”. But, there are limits. People who know me know that I am one of the most generous people they have ever met. I don’t support the war in Iraq, yet, I have supported our troops. And unlike most Americans who have only spoken words of support, I have spent my own money supporting them by buying phone cards for soldiers who cannot afford them, so they can call home ON MY DIME. All the while knowing that if they knew I was gay, they would hate me for being gay. Well, I ended that program yesterday and terminated the phone cards (more money for me, right?). Why? Because, I don’t care, just like everyone else.
I used to be bitter about all of this, but I’ve come to the conclusion that being bitter and caring are really just a waste of my time. That’s not to say I don’t care. It’s saying that I have become very particular and narrowly focused on WHAT I care about. So what do I care about?
I care first and foremost about my family and the home-life I’ve made with them.
I care about my friends. I have few, and that’s fine with me.
Other than that, I really don’t care if different countries want to blow the hell out of each other because they can’t talk out their differences. Why? Because my country and my country’s government doesn’t care. So honestly, why should I?
I care about my little world. Right now, I’m fine. If things start to effect that world, we will consider moving.
I’m sorry for caring less and less about this, but if so few in my community cares, and if my country doesn’t care about these issues and only cares about it’s own political interest with equality and fairness aside, why should I care?
“Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” - J.F. Kennedy
Well, I’m sorry President Kennedy, but today, I am asking my country to do something for me and my community. I want my country to treat us with a bit of dignity and respect. I want EQUALITY and FAIRNESS. I have a right to expect that, according to the Constitution, even if.... no one cares.
Until that happens, I DON’T CARE.
Ok... I’m done complaining now.
Yesterday, I made lasagna. Kent came home from a weekend trip and I wanted to make something that he likes. Oh, and I took more photos. More photos coming soon.
This is the Iraq that you won’t hear about. Not from George W. Bush or Condoleezza Rice. To them, we are “moving towards democracy”.