Just Plain Weird

I’m not one to follow the weirdness of Tom Cruise, or his twisted life. When he’s not attacking Anderson Cooper for defending Brooke Shields, or jumping up and down on Oprah’s sofa on her TV set, he’s doing something equally weird, like inviting Brooke Shields to his wedding after telling Anderson Cooper that the depression that Brook Shields was going through was just in her head and could be cured with vitamins.

AS one might expect from Tom Cruise, it was a production of Hollywood proportions. His wedding to Katie Holmes yesterday in the 15th-century Castle Odescalchi outside Rome had a budget of more than £1.2m, with guest stars including Jennifer Lopez, Jim Carrey, Will Smith and Brooke Shields, a lavish banquet, fireworks and thousands of rose-scented candles. (source)

I guess everything is transparent and paper thin in Hollywood. Brooke has apparently made up with Tom. She attended his wedding, which probably means she will have some minor roll in a new movie he will turn out, assuming he can ever find another production company who will work with him.

But the ceremony probably went something like this....

How the ceremony may have gone

If yesterday’s service followed a typical Scientology wedding it would have included the words:

Minister to groom:

“Now, Tom, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat.

“All caprice if you will, but still they need them. Keep her, well or ill. And when she’s older do you keep her still?”

The minister may also have warned Cruise: “The tides of fortune and of life are sometimes fair or grim.”

Minister to bride:

“Hear well, Katie, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him then that you may have necessities and follies, too.

“Know that life is stark and often somewhat grim, and tiredness and fret and pain and sickness do beget a state of mind where spring romance is far away and dead.”

Ministers ask couples to keep Scientology’s tenet of affinity, reality and communication (ARC) and not to let disputes last more than a day. (source)

The Scientology ceremony is not legal in Italy, and they would be required to get a “civil union” to make it legal.

A spokesman for the Church of Scientology for Rome, Fabrizio D’Agostino, said an exchange of vows with a Scientology rite was not legally recognized in Italy, and would have to be preceded or followed by a civil union.

The publicists said Cruise and Holmes had “officialized their marriage in Los Angeles prior to their departure for Italy,” saying that was customary for couples marrying outside the United States. Cruise’s publicist Arnold Robinson wrote in response to an e-mailed question about whether that meant they had been married in a civil ceremony that “the required steps were taken for the marriage to be legal.” (source)

Anyway, I’ve paid more attention to this fiasco than it merits. This makes I believe the second marriage for Tom Cruise, or is this his third? I lost count. One thing is for sure. If Tom continues to marry women, and continues to sue anyone who even hints that he may be gay, well, no one would ever think that Tom Cruise was gay, would they?

Such is the way with many people. Hell, Elizabeth Taylor was married what, nine times (all of them legally recognized, of course)? But does anyone really care anymore how many times someone has been married? Even before they have left for their honeymoon (Tom will probably rent out Disney World for the day), a psychic has already predicted that the marriage is doomed. Hell, I could have told you that, and I don’t need tea leaves.

Sometimes I think I’m so old fashioned.