One Person Can Make A Difference

The American Family Association and its founder, the Rev. Donald Wildmon, called for a boycott of Wal-Mart during the Thanksgiving weekend, and then called it off abruptly after the company said it would “not make corporate contributions to support or oppose highly controversial issues unless they directly relate to our ability to serve our customers.” Does that mean Wal-Mart’s pulling back its support of gay groups? Probably not. [...]

Early in 2003, Ken Pearson, who works at Wal-Mart University, the company’s training arm, came back from a corporate meeting where the theme was “It’s My Wal-Mart” and speakers included the African-American poet Maya Angelou. “But I didn’t really feel like it was my Wal-Mart, as a gay man,” Pearson says.

Back then, the company did not have a written policy protecting gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) employees against discrimination. Nor did it provide health benefits to the same-sex partners of gays and lesbians.

So Pearson composed an e-mail to a Wal-Mart vice chairman, explaining that he is gay, asking if he was welcome at Wal-Mart and outlining his concerns.

“I sat there shaking,” Pearson recalls. “Can I hit send? There’s nothing to protect me from losing my job.” Soon after dispatching the e-mail, Pearson was invited to meet with the executive, who told him that the letter had moved him and that things would change.

They did, and fast.... (source)

One person can make a difference in the workplace. One person can bring it to managements’ attention that things could be better - that the work environment could be more inclusive and open to minorities. But, it takes lot of courage on the part of that individual to make that happen. What is at stake? If you live in one of the 33 states (based on the latest Human Rights Campaign Workplace Report) that still have no protections for gay and lesbian workers, you can be fired on the spot for admitting you are homosexual, with no legal recourse.

When I asked my company for fairness, I went through much of the same experiences that Mr. Pearson did. I was shaking. I was thinking, “Should I just be quiet about this?” I knew that in the State of Connecticut (one of those 17 states that do protect gay workers) I couldn’t be fired for admitting that I’m gay. But, I also know that if a company wants to get rid of you, there are ways to do that. I took a chance that my company valued me as an employee. I’m very happy to say that I was right. And, things are changing for the better within my company.

This only happens when people are out and open about themselves in the most honest way possible. Change will not happen on it’s own.

There’s more work ahead. Wal-Mart still does not offer health care benefits to the domestic partners of its GLBT employees. More than half of Fortune 500 companies do so.

In the Corporate Equality Index published by the Human Rights Campaign, Wal-Mart scores a 65 - up from 14 in 2002, but well shy of the 100 percent score notched by more than 100 big companies. [...]

“I worked for our company for 16 years,” says David Yates, a leader of Wal-Mart Pride. “The word gay had almost never been mentioned. Or it was whispered.”

Now it’s being said often, and out loud.

Which means it’s probably too late for Wal-Mart to reverse its gay-friendly course. (source)

It’s the same way at my place of work. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to have to keep a secret about your sexual orientation. You have to lie all the time, about who you spend time with and what your interests are. A long time ago, I came to the conclusion that it was just not worth sacrificing my integrity because some people could not deal with what I am. So, I stopped hiding. Did I lose jobs? Yes, I did. Three, to be precise. Two asked me to get my things and leave quietly. One manager openly and loudly stated, “Pack your things and get out. We don't hire queers here!” It made me feel worthless and dirty. And after I cried it off and collected myself, I went on with my life. I had other jobs, and made damn sure that I checked the “single” box under the marriage status section. When the form asked who to call in case of emergency, I would put Kent down since my family wasn’t talking to me. And, I would make damn sure that I labeled him as a “friend.”

I no longer do that. Now, I check “married” on all forms. If people have a problem with that, too damn bad! When you turn 50, you see bullshit for what it is.

Did the experiences of being fired for being gay make me close that closet door? Yes, they did, but, I was on the outside of that closet door. I was even more resolved to point out injustices. And other unfortunate things happened for being an out gay man that I no longer dwell on. They are behind me now, and, they have made me stronger.

The result.... a few days ago, I was talking with another employee from a different department. I’m not sure if he knew about me being gay or not (I’ve been told “everybody knows”). There was a point where I had to mention that I have a partner. I still have that little voice that says “be careful” about what you say. Which is really unfortunate because when straight people wear a wedding ring and are married, I’m sure they never even subconsciously think if they should mention the most important person in their life, along with photos on their desk of their family. Yet, I do. But then I continue and mention Kent as “my partner”. I’d like to say “my husband”, but we are still not able to be married. So, I mention “my partner”. I then made mention, as though I had to qualify my comment since I just came out formally to this guy, that I “don’t put it in people’s faces, but I also don’t try to hide it”. He interrupted me and said emphatically, “Nor should you!”

And that is the difference in today’s environment over just five years ago. Then, we were legally tolerated in those 17 states. Today, people’s attitudes are changing to full acceptance and one of being an ally. This is true progress.

Now, if we can just get Congress to pass a bill that outlaws discrimination against gay citizens nationwide.

“I would urge us all to seek actively to inform ourselves and change our attitudes about gays and lesbians. For only in this way will we begin to address the real problems that our condemnation has visited upon them, upon those who love them and, indeed, upon us all.” - Ermalou Roller, ordained minister and dean of the cabinet of the Northern Illinois Conference of the United Methodist Church

All I can say to that is, Amen.