The Art of Listening
Have you ever talked with someone who presents you with something they read about, then proceeds to tell you their opinion of what they read? Of course we all have. But then, when you start to give your opinion of the issue, you realize that they aren’t really even listening to you? They have basically shut you down and are not open to what you have to say. You know this by the expression on their face -- you know, the eyes shifting as though they are going through the list of what they must do on this very important day of theirs, or the world will surely end, or the simple gesture of picking up their breakfast items to place them in the garbage while you are still trying to make your point on the subject that they brought up. But, that is apparently more important than any point you wanted to make. Or perhaps you have simply been mentally reduced to one more little item in the list of things that they have to cope with today?
So I guess the question is, why spend the energy talking about it in the first place?
This happens all the time. It happens every time The President talks. He talks, we listen... but when we disagree, you might as well be talking to the bathroom wall.
I’m not sure if some groups are more susceptible to this than others. I know that scientists do it all the time. They talk, make their point, but then they aren’t interested in hearing opposing views, or actually, any opposing view at all. They have made up their mind. So why waste energy bringing it up for discussion in the fist place?
Is it any wonder then why that they find it hard to tackle the issue of “true science” versus “creationism”? I happen to believe in evolution. But, you aren’t going to change anyone’s opinion who believes in creationism if you aren’t willing to at least try to understand where they are coming from, without simply dismissing them as being naive or deranged.
I see this happening a lot. It happened to me just this morning. It happens on the gay marriage issue. It happens on the issue of the war in Iraq. Always two sides to every issue, but at any given time, only one side talks -- the other side dismisses.
The older I get, I wonder more and more if talking to people is just a big waste of time. If you are going to present an argument to someone, you should at least give them the courtesy of LISTENING TO THEIR SIDE.
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I think the Creation Museum sounds incredibly campy. I mean, really... dinosaurs on the ark! Cool.
"Uh, could someone stop the Brontosaurus from stepping on the elephants!?"
Oh, you were saying? :-)
But, I sort of had the same feeling when I saw the Christians were opening the museum and immediately these science groups wanted to protest in the streets out front. While I find the idea of 2 of every animal on a boat in a rainstorm about as silly as any Monty Python episode, I do respect their opinions on the subject and understand that much of their belief system comes from fear of complexity and change. Both of which could be definitions of Evolution.
lol something like that...
Perhaps the reality of our world is that we all have to "do things" that are "so important" or all hell would break loose. It's not that people don't have time for each other, it's that people don't MAKE time for each other.
Could the realities in our world cause people do isolate themselves into their own little bubble -- their little world, where they cut out all the noise and all the things they don't want to deal with?
This is how wars are started. This is why couples divorce. Misunderstandings are many times the result of people putting their assumptions of what people think ahead of what the person is actually saying. The President of Iran knows this. He knows that President Bush reacts emotionally, and he knows the buttons to push. President Bush doesn't listen and thinking he understands what the Iranian President is up to, he merely reacts, just as a puppet reacts to the strings being pulled.
Listening is how we understand our world. When people shut down, their world will control them. They will wonder what the hell happened when negotiations with a country broke down. They will wonder why their husband or wife suddenly out of the blue asks for a divorce. All the signs were there, but they just never listened to them.
mmm...huh? What was you were saying? Something about listening, right? ;-)