With Acceptance Like This...

TOLEDOANS have nothing to fear and everything to hope for in the modest ordinance that goes before City Council tomorrow to allow gay people to publicly register a “domestic partnership” in the city.

The registry, conceived by Councilman Joe McNamara, cannot be equated with gay marriage, nor is it in any way a slap at conventional marriage. Simply put, it is an opportunity for local gay couples to have their relationships recognized in a manner that has been accepted by a growing number of progressive communities around the country. At least seven states already provide for domestic partnerships, and many companies provide benefits for same-sex partners. [...]

What it will do, we believe, is give gay couples the comfort of acceptance and help promote Toledo as an inclusive community, a place that accepts anyone and everyone willing to work hard and make the city a progressive community in the most noble sense of the word.

Undoubtedly there will be those who feel the ordinance is tantamount to a declaration of gay marriage by another name, but the measure does not prescribe any direct benefits or legal rights. Partners who are 18 or older, not married to anyone else, and are not blood relatives would receive a certificate from the city that adds at least a token of legitimacy to their relationship.

A feeling of acceptance by others is among the most powerful of human emotions and we believe a domestic partnership registry would be a force for establishing Toledo as a place where everyone is accepted for who they are... (source)

Enough already!! They may “believe a domestic partnership registry would be a force for establishing Toledo as a place where everyone is accepted for who they are”, but it isn’t. If they really wanted a place for gay couples to feel accepted for who they are, perhaps they shouldn’t have passed the state amendment against marriage, civil unions, or anything that approximates marriage. This ship has already sailed. Toledo, your state has made that decision for you. Now learn to live with that. If you are really a “progressive” city that wants to show your acceptance, then start making your energies work in a progressive way. Start by lobbying your state legislators to overturn the amendment.

I’m sure you have many gay couples living within your city and they will stay because they have family or jobs there that they can’t afford to be away from. But I would have to think long and hard before moving to a place that offered me a “domestic partnership” that did nothing for us legally. It’s like saying, “Even though we are treating you like crap, maybe this will make you feel not quite so bad about it... even though we are going to keep treating you like crap.”

Why would any gay couple move to Toledo or any other place in Ohio that wouldn’t legally recognize their relationship? The answer: they would both have to have great jobs that paid great wages. Otherwise, they would be unable to overcome the complete lack of benefits that anyone, including their employer, was able, or willing, to give them.

The state amendments have been passed. What is done is done. For states or cities to now want to pass these pitiful little feel good laws is stupid and simply cruel. It reminds gay couples once again what we already painfully know: that we are second class citizens - a classification that has been enshrined in your own state constitutions.

Learn to live with your decisions and accept the fact that your citizens collectively managed to pass a very cruel and hurtful amendment to a vary selected and targeted segment of your population.

Get over it. I have. I never write about this issue anymore until I read stuff like this.