A Product of Their Upbringing

Guilt's like plutonium: A little goes a long way. And the way you harness its awesome might is by being serenely, divinely all-forgiving and above it all. With a beatific glow, gaze upon your relatives with Virgin-Mary-like understanding and say: "Listen, it's okay, I still love you. We wish you could be there, but since you can't, we'll think about you and let you know how it all goes."

If that doesn't melt their frosty crusts, then you're better off without them.

But don't succumb to bitterness or anger. Be like Jesus on the cross: "They know not what they do." They're a product of their time and upbringing.... (source)

I don't know about the plutonium analogy. He kind of lost me on that one when he talks of "the way you harness its awesome might is by being serenely, divinely all-forgiving"... When plutonium gets pissed, "forgiving" isn't exactly the term I would apply to it.

I'm all for having peace in the family, IF POSSIBLE. But, I won't sacrifice my standards for that peace. I will listen, and give when I can. But if it were me, and my family wouldn't come to my wedding, it would probably be something like this; "Listen, it's okay, I still love you. We wish you could be there, but since you can't, we'll think about you and let you know how it all goes. So go fu*k yourself and the horse you rode in on!"

And if I were Jesus, I would forgive them. Like, "They know not what they do. So they can go fu*k yourselves and the horses you rode in on!"

I think that's why people don't put ultimatums to me. I don't receive them well, but I definitely respond to them well. It's not that I'm a hateful or unforgiving person. Nothing is further from the truth. But my life has not been filled with acceptance. That's fine. I've come to accept the fact that people usually disappoint you because of their lack of will to understand you or to accept you. But, as Joan Crawford once said, "It's a sword... cuts both ways." Aside from her other issues that I won't get into, on that point, she was right. You get what you give.

I suppose some day Connecticut will offer marriage to gay couples. When that day comes, Kent and I may well tie the knot. I'm hoping that our families will be supportive of that. I'd like to have it in Idaho because it would make it easier for all of them, along with our friends, to be there. But of course, it wouldn't be legal if we had it in Idaho because Idaho will never allow us to get married. I suppose we could have a "get together of celebration" in Boise. I don't know if it would be bittersweet for us because we would know that it really wasn't our wedding we were celebrating. But heck, a party is a party, right?

The other thing that I've come to understand of late is that just because others are intolerant and life isn't all what you want it to be, we all must make the most of every day and love those who really love us for what we are to the fullest extent possible. So when I mention how I would respond to intolerant people above, it's not out of hate. In fact, the reason I respond like that is because I don't like to keep that crap in. I say what I have to say, and I'm over it. I thank my Aunt Verna for that one.

It's important to tell those in your life that you love, that you love them. Tell them often, in every way possible. Live life today, in the moment. Don't assume there will be a tomorrow. Live life today.