The weather has been stormy and unsettled all week. But this morning, I had planned on sleeping in a bit from what was a really difficult week for me; work pressures, cardiologists, etc.
But, I woke up to birds singing outside and a nice sunrise. A gentle breeze here and there and 60 degrees. It looks to be a nice day.
I'm going to get my hair cut today. Maybe highlighted a bit. One does want to look the best he can when going into bypass surgery. I mean, if it all goes bad, it's less for the funeral home to worry about, right? That's a crude joke, but I'm finding the need to lighten it up a bit. I have my moments of doom and gloom but I try not to let them rule me. And today, with things so beautiful out, it makes me want to get out and garden, do yard work, plant flowers, etc. All of which are off limits to me.
So, I'll go get my hair cut, go to the mall and pick up some new towels and a few odds and ends for the house, maybe stop by the theater and watch a movie, pick up a bite to eat on the way home, and come home and relax the rest of the evening. This weekend is all just for me; the last time I will be alone for quite awhile. I want to take in the peace of it all.
Next week, I work Monday, and a half day on Tuesday. Those are "winding down" days for me and should be slow. I've worked hard to see that they have all the tools they need while I'm out. That way, I won't worry about them a bit. That's not to say that they aren't worried, but, like me, they will just have to figure it out without me. That's not my job now.
My job is to put myself right at the center of the stage and make everything about me and my family. This weekend with all it's beauty is a good start to that.
Hi Bill,
I don't know if you remember me but I commented on your blog a couple of years ago. I live with my partner John in Cheshire, CT. My father went through want you're going through at the age of 56 in 1988. His bypass surgery saved his life and he has gone on to have 21 years of relatively good health. Even though he retired in 1993, he never stopped working and still gets up every day to go to a part-time job that he loves. I often think of what he would have missed if he hadn't had those 21 years. He got to see all five of his children happily partnered and now has five grandchildren. He loves my partner John and vise versa.
I will be thinking of you (and Kent) and wishing you a successful surgery and recovery.
Bob Young
Thank you Bob! I appreciate that more than you know. I've come to a place that I'm mentally ready to let this happen. I worry about being my old self again and getting back some of what I once had. And when people tell me things like this, it just reaffirms that what I'm doing is the right thing to do.
I'm so very thankful for what you said, and it gives me a lot of encouragement!