Well, tomorrow morning, I will be at St. Francis hospital in Hartford to be examined for a blockage to an artery leading to my heart. It's sounds awful when you put it like that. I was fearful at first. Then I went through a period where I was fine with it. Then an hour ago the hospital called for their final prep for the procedure. It sounded awful as she described in painful detail every single thing they are going to do to me. I won't repeat it here. I may be home tomorrow afternoon, or the next day. It all depends on what they do to me, and they won't know that until they go inside.

So now I'm back to being anxious again. I'm waiting for my friend Austin to get here. I want to take him to dinner somewhere. I'll have a very light dinner tonight, and try to get to bed early. God I'm not looking forward to this. What if they go through this and find that it's not the problem and it was all done for nothing? Or what if it's worse than they thought. Jeez, I want this over with already.

I guess the bottom line is this. Knowledge is power. Do I want to just get along day by day not knowing what the problem is? No, I don't. So I know this is the right thing to do.

One thing this has shown me is how many people love me. Do any of you know how much you mean to people? I bet you don't. I didn't. I had no idea the impact I have on people. I've received so many letters from so many people that at times, like last night, I would sit alone in my bedroom and think about it. And before long, I just started crying. I'm just very humbled at how lucky I am to be so loved. People don't have to be here. They have told me and shown me how they feel.

Whatever happens tomorrow, I'm so thankful for that. And if for whatever reason this is the end for me, don't be sad. I'm not. God I've had such an extraordinary life with one extraordinary husband. Kent, I love you so much. I can't find the words to truly express it.

Just love each other and please forget our differences. The one thing that we all have together is love.

I hope to talk to you later in the week if all goes well. I'm hoping it does. Keep hope and love alive!