Yesterday, I went into the hospital for an angioplasty. I wish I could say it went well, but it didn't. The routine went as scheduled, but after two hours of trying to make it work, they aborted the procedure.

It seems that one of the arteries in my heart is completely closed up. That means that an angioplasty procedure is not an option. Normally, the blockage of this artery would be a coronary heart attack where people would dial 911 or just not make it. It's usually devastating. This has been happening over the course of 8-9 years they think. And gradually, exercise and everyday activities have been getting gradually more difficult for me. The told me that my diet was not so much the problem and that it was mainly hereditary (my Dad died of a heart attach at 47 years old). My blood work shows fine.

But my body did something that has them somewhat puzzled - very unusual they tell me. It protected itself. Over those 8-9 years, the lower arteries of my heart expanded and grew to take up the slack of the big artery. The result was that the heart was protected and continued to receive all the blood it needed. Therefore the heart itself is in great condition and without damage. The problem is, the smaller arteries are not a replacement for the big artery. They are simply too small to supply the needed blood to other parts of my body when those parts demand more blood for oxygen delivery, such as the case with my lungs. So, the lungs don't get the oxygen they need, and I become exhausted.

What has alleviated much of this it seems, is my use of Xanax. Xanax brings everything down. It's calms the body and relieves the stress. So, all those "panic attacks" and shortness of breath it seems were not panic attacks at all as I was lead to believe. It was a failure to deliver oxygen to different organs that needed it. The Xanax merely provided a situation where they no longer needed it because it calmed me down. That's not the purpose of Xanax, but that was the chemical effect it had.

And the danger now is, if one of the smaller arteries fail, I'm in big trouble. So, I have only one option, and it has to happen fast. At 5:30a.m. on Thursday, June 4th, I will be admitted to St. Francis Hospital in Hartford for open heart surgery. They will do a bypass, taking two arteries from somewhere else in my body, and grafting them onto my heart to bypass the large clogged artery. I'm not sure what my chances are. I do know that I have no choice, and I've accepted this. I also know that I will be at one of the premier hospitals in the country for this type of operation.

After the operation, I'll be in ICU for 4-6 days. I can then return home for recovery. I'll be away from work for a month and will not be able to drive during that time either. Fun times! But, I'm going to do what I have to do and just hope that I can get back to my old life.

I just wanted to let you know my situation. I have a lot to work out with my work next week and to prepare for this. I will be in the hospital for 4-6 days in the ICU, and required to not drive or go to work for one month. After that, maybe my life can return to normal.