I met with my cardiologist today. It's the final time I see him before the surgery one week from today. There were some final questions I wanted to clear up for him. I printed out this article, and highlighted the following points to go over with him:

• In 5-10% of coronary artery bypass graft surgeries, the bypass graft stops supplying blood to the bypassed artery within one year.
• Long term, symptoms recur in only about 3-4% of patients per year. Five years after coronary artery bypass graft surgery, survival expectancy is 90%, at 10 years it is about 80%, at 15 years it is about 55%, and at 20 years it is about 40%.
• In patients who have had vein grafts, 40% of the grafts are severely obstructed 10 years after the procedure. Repeat coronary artery bypass graft surgery may be necessary, and is usually less successful than the first surgery.

He listened carefully to each item. To me, they seem like pretty dismal results. He said on the first point that it's true that in a small percentage of patients, the graft stops working, but he emphasized that the percentage is very small.

He also stated concerning "survival expectancy", that it probably will be true that I will have to repeat this sometime in the future. But that's not clear. He said he has had patients where the graft will last five years. And in some other patients, where the life expectancy of the graft is five years, they have gone twenty years on the same graft.

He further stated that in my case he really believes this is less about diet and more about heredity. He said, "Your father dying at the age of 47 of a heart attack is extraordinary. I believe this to be the overriding factor. We will restrict the diet and take all the precautions, such as medications, but this will be something that can not be treated with simple diet. You will have to have stress tests in the future and the grafts will have to be closely monitored."

I guess I'm ok with that. I was looking for one last chance to maybe not do the operation, and he sensed that. So he said, "If you do not do this, your life will be shortened. One artery is completely blocked. One is 70% blocked. They will be bypassed. Another one is 30% blocked and is at this time not a candidate for bypass, but it will have to be monitored. You are very lucky to be alive and you wouldn't be if your heart hadn't made it's own temporary bypass. But that won't last."

I resigned myself to do it. He assured me that I would be just fine, and feels that recovery will be somewhere in the two month time period. I may be able to work at home before that time.

It's just incredible to me how this happened so fast. It's like I'm on a path in a bad dream, and I can't get off that path. I want things to be different, but it seems like this is my future now. I'm so depressed. I'm just going to go to bed and watch TV.