I was trying to think of a title for this entry, and this seemed appropriate. I've been away for so long and I have basically a different body now. So in a way, it is like building myself up and into this new body.

Tomorrow marks the one week anniversary of me coming home. I would have made an entry or two, but trust me, it's better this way. I was in so much pain and taking so much pain management, that it probably would not have made sense. And, my energy levels are low, so I have to gauge my activities and pace myself.

If you ask anyone who's been through bypass surgery, most won't tell you of the incredible pain that follows surgery. You are basically bed ridden for a period of time in ICU and then in another wing for cardiac recovery. There, you are monitored very closely. I was one of the more remarkable patients I guess. Most stay close to a week. I had my operation on Friday morning, June 5th. I left the hospital on Tuesday, June 9th. I think the reason people who have been through bypass don't dwell on the pain aspect of the procedure, is because you really have little choice in the matter anyway.

And during this time, the hospital gave me pretty much anything I asked for in terms of pain management. I was on Oxycontin, which didn't completely handle the pain. But when you mix it with high levels of Percocet, it takes on a whole new realm of pain management. No pain. No.. nothing really. But it was better than the alternative at the time.

Kent told me that when I came out of the operation, they kept me under anesthesia for a few hours. They wanted to make sure I wasn't bleeding inside and if I was, they didn't want to bring me out, only to have to put me back under again to go back inside.

Kent called hours later and the nurse said that they would be waking me up, and that they could come to the hospital. When they got there, they had brought me into consciousness, although I don't remember it. When they arrived I was still on the respirator. So the first memory I have is waking up and seeing all these people around me. My hands and feet had been tied down, and I had all this equipment on me. I could hear alarms sounding, which was from the respirator. And then a nurse telling me to stop fighting the respirator, which meant nothing to me. They eventually freed my right arm and I could feel the tube in my mouth, and every time I tried to utter a word, an alarm would go off. I didn't even have the ability to make a sound with my voice box. So, I used sign language to tell my family that I loved them. I looked up and saw Kent and Mom over me. That's when I knew I would be ok, that I was alive.

I guess I was so determined to communicate that they had to find a clipboard I could write notes on. They turned off the respirator not long after Kent and Mom arrived to see if they could remove the tube. I almost made it, but alarms started going off, so they decided to wait. After an hour or so, they told Kent and Mom to leave the room so that they could remove the respirator. I guess removing a respirator is not a pretty sight. I know I didn't enjoy it. In any case, when Kent and Mom came back twenty minutes later, I didn't have a respirator tube in me, and I could actually talk.

I stayed in ICU for a day, and was then transferred up to my own room on the eight floor; cardiac recovery. That's where I stayed until I was released on Tuesday, June 9th.

My family were so amazing this entire time. Our folks came out from Idaho to help us along. And Kent was always there. There were some things about the hospital that were kind of inconvenient. I couldn't get to my website and could only go to certain types of websites because they had tight restrictions on what they would let people view, not that I had much energy to do that anyway. But, I was there for care, and they are one of the top rated hospitals in the country for this. That was more important to me. And, they allowed Kent and the folks in without giving me grief about our relationship. The only grief I got was from a health insurance agent, who kept wanted my "next of kin" for some form she had to fill out. I kept giving her Kent's name. She finally gave up and said, "Ok, I guess we'll skip over that question."

Friday was the first day I've been home all by myself. I spend most of my time reading, watching TV, and resting. And I take naps throughout the day. I've lost a lot of stamina. If I go up the stairs, I'm out of breath. It's going to take a lot of time to build that back up. I'll have to be patient.

I want to thank all the people who sent cards, letters, flowers, and left comments. It means the world to us that others care so much. I never thought I had so many friends. It's really a humbling experience. It's good to be back!