Gay Marriage: February 2006 Archives

That only a union between one man and one woman may be a marriage valid in or recognized by this Commonwealth and its political subdivisions.

This Commonwealth and its political subdivisions shall not create or recognize a legal status for relationships of unmarried individuals that intends to approximate the design, qualities, significance, or effects of marriage. Nor shall this Commonwealth or its political subdivisions create or recognize another union, partnership, or other legal status to which is assigned the rights, benefits, obligations, qualities, or effects of marriage.

Wording of HB101, the Virginia constitutional amendment given final approval by the House of Delegates. The full wording of the amendment will go on the Virginia ballot in November.

This changes the question from an empty exercise into a punishing one. Try as the advocates might to deny it, there are legitimate worries about whether such sweeping, imprecise language will make it harder to prosecute boyfriends for domestic violence that falls within a relationship, but outside of marriage. Custody agreements might become unenforceable. The very validity of basic contracts drawn up between unmarried people is undoubtedly under threat.

No matter your opinion of gay marriage, that’s a pernicious paragraph that tells a lot of Virginians they’re no longer welcome here. (source)

No kidding. But you know, it doesn’t really matter if they vote for it or not. You are, as a state, what your constitution says that you are. That is what you believe in. If the people of Virginia truly believe that gay couples are the total scum of the earth, then they should vote for this amendment. That will be their values. They may lose citizenship, or they may not. Doesn’t a state have a right to be a fascist bigoted entity, if it’s citizenry so desires?

That’s a totally serious question, devoid of emotion. Logically, it seems they should have that right. I used to say such nonsensical statements as “.. but that’s unconstitutional..”, but no one is really looking at the Constitution anymore anyway. The U.S. Supreme Court in it’s current makeup, will most likely not hear a challenge to anything Virginia, or Texas, or Kansas, or Idaho, or any other state does in the area of gays being able to marry. By not hearing the case, they let the ruling stand, thereby not giving the Constitution itself it’s day in court.

Given that state of affairs, I suppose we should be happy that some states aren’t trying to pass constitutional amendments calling for the execution of homosexuals by lethal injection. Once extremists smell blood in the water, they won’t stop with one “achievement”.

Former Culture Club front man Boy George has come forward and slammed same-sex ‘weddings’, saying that the traditions of marriage are outdated and have no place in modern or gay culture. [...]

“Gay unions, what is that all about?,” he said. “I haven’t been invited to any ceremonies and I wouldn’t go anyway. The idea that gay people have to mimic what obviously doesn’t work for straight people anymore, I think is a bit tragic. I’m looking forward to gay divorces.”

Boy George, who is currently facing drugs charges for cocaine possession in New York, went on to praise Brokeback Mountain for bravely focusing on intimacy between two gay men. He said contemporary society continues to view gay relationships as purely sexual and sordid, and was amazed the film dared to dig deeper. (source)

I’m not going to be unkind to Boy George. I’m going to rise above that. He is right about one thing though. Marriage has been trashed by straight society so much, it’s not even funny. You get married. It doesn’t work out. You get divorced. NEXT....

There is nothing about marriage that gay couples should want anything to do with... EXCEPT FOR... the 1500+ Federal benefits of marriage and the 855 state (Connecticut) benefits of marriage.

Social Security retirement and survivor benefits. A husband or wife is entitled to one-half of the spouse’s Social Security benefits and to additional benefits in the event of death.

Workplace health and pension benefits coverage. While some companies offer health coverage to domestic partners, this benefit is considered taxable income. When married spouses are covered, the benefit is tax-free.

Automatic inheritance rights. Die without a will, and a heterosexual spouse gets the stuff. In many states, the surviving spouse has a legal right to at least one-third to one-half of the estate.

Preferential estate tax treatment. The $1 million estate tax limitation doesn’t apply to married people: a heterosexual married person can leave an unlimited amount to a spouse without owing one penny of estate tax. In certain states, this benefit is multiplied by special capital-gains tax treatment for homes and other assets held by married couples as community property.

Lower insurance rates. Married people usually get a discount on auto insurance and may pay less for other types of insurance. Some enlightened companies - the Hartford was among the first – offer family discounts to gay and lesbian couples, but it is not yet an industry standard.

The other benefits given by marriage:
Insurance benefits through a spouses employer
Insurance discounts offered to married couples and related persons living in same household
Veterans/military benefits offered to spouses (education, medical care, housing loans)
Income tax deductions, credits and exemptions
Tax relief for natural disaster losses
Immigration of foreign partners
Witness and court testimony rights
Continuation of lease rights (renewal of lease)
Community property rights
Payment of wages for deceased partners and workers compensation benefits
Right to enter into pre-marital agreement
Consent to post-mortem examination
Right to make burial arrangements
Bereavement leave for partner, child, or partner’s close relative
Family leave to care for partner or child during illness
Right to make decisions in medical emergencies (“next of kin”)
Visitation rights for partner or child in hospital or other public institutions
Custodial rights for a seriously injured partner
Right to file a wrongful death suit
Tuition discounts/use of facilities
Company benefits/perks offered to spouses
Commercial discounts/incentives offered only to married couples or families
Joint child custody, adoption and foster care rights
Equitable divison of property, child custody, visitation rights and support in the case of divorce
The right to obtain domestic violence protection orders
401(k) and other retirement monies are not taxable to a spouse upon the death of their partner, and can be rolled over into an IRA to tax-defer it until retirement.

Think about it Boy George. When the time comes in your life that you need those protections, if it ever does, you may want to reconsider your position on marriage.

I thought this was worthy of mention. Perhaps in time, more will follow the suit of the Reverend Joe Hoffman, who now refuses to perform another wedding until gay couples can also be married - which he calls a “great injustice that people who are gay and lesbian live with every day.”

An Asheville pastor says he will no longer perform civil marriages for the state because North Carolina denies homosexual couples the right to legally marry.

The Rev. Joe Hoffman, pastor of First Congregational United Church of Christ, announced his decision in a Sunday morning sermon.

Last year, the 1 million-member United Church of Christ announced its support of gay marriage, becoming the first major U.S. Christian denomination to do so.

But Hoffman said his decision didn’t necessarily reflect the stand of his 200-member church.

“I think for heterosexuals, it will be a small inconvenience to have a religious ceremony and then get it legalized,” Hoffman said. “But I hope it calls attention to the great injustice that people who are gay and lesbian live with every day.” (source)

It’s ironic that those most bitter in their opposition to gay marriage, the so-called defenders of marriage, want to narrow rather than expand the number of those eligible for its benefits. They should understand that embracing an institution as venerable and as regulated as marriage is a conservative act. New York Times and Times of Trenton columnist David Brooks put that proposition eloquently when he wrote:

“The conservative course is not to banish gay people from making such commitments. It is to expect that they make such commitments. We shouldn’t just allow gay marriage. We should insist on gay marriage. We should regard it as scandalous that two people could claim to love each other and not want to sanctify their love with marriage and fidelity.” (source)

In November, Idaho voters will be asked the following question:

Shall Article III of the Constitution of the State of Idaho be amended by the addition of a new Section 28, to provide that a marriage between a man and a woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this state?

“In an absolute heartbeat, I would give my own life for theirs. To me, that is love, and love makes a family. Please think deeply about the proposal before you now. Just because my family make-up is different from yours, does not make us any less a family.” - Sara Seidl of Boise spoke on behalf of her partner and their two children (source)

I feel the same way about my family. I loved growing up in Idaho. I know many of you won’t understand this, but there is a magic about Idaho. The state has a vast wealth of diversity - at least in terms of terrain. There is desert, mountains, wilderness, and everything in between. And for the most part, my memory tells me that the people were nice as well - most of them.

That’s why this is so painful. Today the Idaho Senate passed a state constitutional amendment that will ban marriage equality for gay couples, along with civil unions. It now goes to the people of Idaho who will vote on the measure in November. It needs a simple majority to become part of the Idaho Constitution. I expect it will pass, probably with the comfortable majority that we saw in Texas. I’ve come to the conclusion that society just does not understand us, or what we are looking for. I’ve given up hope trying to get them to understand.

And yes, I said that I would not be covering all of this negative coverage of marriage amendments going on in the news, but Idaho is different for me. It was my childhood. It was my young adulthood. I wonder now if the great majority of the good people of Idaho always hated gay people. I wonder if all of that was just below the surface. I think it was, and I just didn’t really want to believe it. And when my own family goes to the polls in November, my bet is that 98% of them will vote for passage of this hateful amendment.

Five Republican senators changed their minds this year after helping to defeat the measure last year, a phenomenon attributed by some as a reaction to political pressures.

“In politics, you always want to find an evil that’s a minority so there’s not a lot of votes (at stake),” said Sen. Gary Schroeder, R-Moscow. “This is all about politics and votes.” (source)

As for me, I will never set foot in Idaho again, and that is very sad for me. I just can’t bring myself to do it. To the people of Idaho, please do some soul searching. You are the only thing in the way of intolerance and hatred. This will be your legacy. And in a hundred years or so, future generations will see this act for what it is.

BOISE - The Idaho State Senate has approved a proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in Idaho, sending the matter to voters this November.

The 26 to nine vote met the required two-thirds vote. Now it only needs simple majority vote from the public to pass. (source)

We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must no break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield, and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature. - Abraham Lincoln

We can hope that someday the better angels of our nature will come forth. In a few months, we will see if this will happen in Idaho.

The complete language of the bill is given below...