General: November 2005 Archives

There is a lot I try to do every single day of my life to let people know the challenges that gay and lesbian citizens face. Most of the time, that is simply being myself and letting people get to know me, as a person. I make no mention of being gay, but as they get to know me, it will come up in some form or another.

In Connecticut, for example, I can’t tell you how many people have asked if Kent and I will signing up for a “civil union”. As of October 1, 2005, we can not sign up for a Civil Union in the State of Connecticut to gain most of the rights of marriage within the state of Connecticut. Once you leave the state, all of that disappears. I explain this to those who ask if we will be entering into a civil union. I explain all the things the civil union will not provide. I explain how, within the law itself, is wording that states that “marriage” is the union between a man and a woman, and that by signing up for a civil union, I am signing up for a legal arrangement that first and foremost says, “You as a couple, are NOT EQUAL”. I then tell them of all the federal benefits of marriage that they enjoy, that this Civil Union will not grant.

Then, I ask them, would you want to sign up for one?

That’s what it takes to get through to most people. You have to bring it home to them in their terms, to show them what they have and what we are given by the gracious legislators and the gracious Governor Rell, that it simply is not equality. It doesn’t even come close.

So, a few days ago, I received this catalog from Virginia Traditions (pictured right). It’s a catalog offering meat products through the mail. I know, you are now in a total state of shock as you are wondering, “What gay man would ever order meat products through the mail?!??” Ok, I too am left wondering that. But some how, some time, I must have ordered something from them (I order a lot of things on line). Let’s just deal with that fact for now, and move on.....

Virginia has been one of the nastiest states in the nation regarding gay issues. They passed their version of a defense of marriage act, called, “Virginia Marriage Affirmation Act”. The law prohibits the recognition of same-sex marriages and civil unions, and threatens to overturn private contractual relationships between gay and lesbian couples.

It is also legal to fire someone in the State of Virginia, just for being gay. I’ve found that most straight people are shocked when i tell them this. Why, I don’t know, when 36 other states in the nation can do the same thing.

I didn’t just throw the catalog out. I made a message and posted it to the magazine, where I stated why I want to be removed from their mailing list, and why they have lost my business. You can view the full image here. If they want it back, they can appeal to the legislators of their state and tell them to knock it off. Or, the company may embrace what the legislators have done, and not deserve my business. At any rate, they know why they lost my business. Today, that catalog will be mailed back to them, with my note attached to it.

It’s important to do this. Don’t just throw the catalog away because it’s an annoyance. It’s more than just an annoyance. It’s an in your face message that came to your home saying, “We know we bashed the hell out of you gays last year, but why aren’t you buying our products?” That’s insulting, and they should know it.

The bottom line, I had an opportunity to let this business know my feelings. They are losing my business because of this. This is the message I posted to the catalog (view the full image here):

Yes, I would also like to remain on your mailing list, but…

Virginia Traditions resides in the State of Virginia, and, unlike Virginia, I WILL NOT SUPPORT BIGOTRY, in any way, shape, or form.

You want my business, you have to earn it by not supporting those values that your state seems to hold most dear – singling out gay couples and gay families for discrimination. That will not cut it in my book. You want my business back? Think about this…

On July 1, 2004 the Virginia Marriage Affirmation Act became law. In addition to prohibiting the recognition of same-sex marriages and civil unions, this legislation threatens to overturn private contractual relationships between gay and lesbian couples.

In the state of Virginia, a person--whether gay or straight--can be legally fired or refused a job by an employer on the basis of that person’s real or perceived sexual orientation. A person could lose her or his job simply because s/he is gay, even if s/he is doing a excellent work.

I won’t do business with a State or any organization or business in a state that supports such discrimination. Until this changes, TAKE MY NAME OFF YOUR MAILING LIST.

Sincerely,
Bill Cannon

PS…. Want to know how to get involved and make changes to support ALL Virginians, go to http://www.equalityvirginia.org.

You know, the anti-gay movement often hides behind indirect arguments against same-sex marriage. For example, they argue that “activist” judges shouldn’t be allowed to legislate from the bench, that only a legislature of the people’s representatives should be allowed to decide on same-sex marriage. Or they argue that “marriage” is a religious institution and that they’re therefore defending religious freedom.

But let’s call it like it is: The anti-gay movement is anti-gay. Period. It opposes same-sex marriage because it’s anti-gay. Period. It wants to deny basic civil and human rights to gays and lesbians because it does not consider them to be equal to straight men and women. Period. Gays and lesbians are sinners. They’re inferior. Period.

Negotiation is not possible. Compromise is not possible.

The anti-gay movement is absolutist and extremist. We who are on the other side must realize this and fight back with equal conviction and the knowledge that we have justice on our side. (source)

Some people amaze me.

One such gentleman is Tim Smith, who graduated from Baylor University in 1983. Baylor, a Baptist University, has a long record detailing it’s opinion of gays. So here we have Tim Smith, who has “personally donated more than $65,000 to Baylor and raised and additional $60,000 to establish an academic scholarship” for Baylor. And now, he’s upset because the school dropped him from and advisory board after learning that he is homosexual.

Mr. Smith (and all of us) would have been much better off had he taken that $125,000 and given it to an organization to further gay legal rights if he cares so much for those rights.

But now he feels that his rights have been violated. All I can say to Mr. Smith is, you made this bed. Deal with it.

(Waco, Texas) Baylor University has told a graduate, who served for five years on the advisory board for its business school, that his no longer welcome after learning that he is gay.

Tim Smith, a 1983 graduate, was one of 36 members of the Hankamer School of Business advisory panel.

In an interview with the Baylor Lariat, Smith says that since graduating from the Baptist school he has personally donated more than $65,000 to Baylor and raised and additional $60,000 to establish an academic scholarship.

Business School Dean Terry Maness asked Smith to step down after he learned of Smith’s sexuality.

“We must be sensitive to the position of our affiliated denomination, the Baptist General Convention of Texas, which has, on previous occasions, stated that a homosexual lifestyle is incompatible with most Baptist interpretations of scripture,” Maness said in a statement.

Smith calls the decision blatant discrimination.

“To openly discriminate against individuals on the basis of sexual orientation and to do so in the name of God is simply shameful,” he told the Lariat. “The Pharisees would be proud.” (source)

When Michigan voters went to the polls last year, they banned gay marriage.

But the constitutional amendment could go much further than simply defining a union between a man and a woman. It has thrown into question whether governments and public universities can provide health insurance to the domestic partners of employees.

On Tuesday, Texas voters will consider a similar ban on gay marriage. Whether Texas’ amendment would spur the same legal challenges is an open question. But the court battles in Michigan illustrate the complexities and unforeseen consequences of such ballot questions.

One year after Michigan voters defined marriage as “the union of one man and one woman,” a legal challenge brought by the American Civil Liberties Union of Michigan and 21 gay couples remains unresolved. Alan Cropsey, the author of Michigan’s amendment, said he expects the legal battle to reach the state Supreme Court.

The Republican senator said voters made their intentions clear when they passed the amendment and that “radical homosexual groups are trying to force their will on the people” with the help of activist judges.

“It’s been a totally undemocratic process,” he said.

Michigan’s amendment makes no mention of benefits for same-sex partners, stating simply that a heterosexual marriage “shall be the only agreement recognized as a marriage or similar union for any purpose.”

But Mr. Cropsey said his intent was to preclude domestic partners from receiving health-care coverage or any other benefits afforded married couples. The implications of the amendment were widely understood by voters, he said.

“It was very clear that’s what was going on,” Mr. Cropsey said. “You don’t want to be encouraging other forms of lifestyle. You want to encourage marriage.” (source)

“It’s been a totally undemocratic process.”

I guess I just don’t understand the democratic process. I understand that democracy is about having the will of the people put into place via a vote (although that doesn’t seem to be the case with presidential elections).

I also thought that part of our brand of democracy was about not having a majority impose their will on a minority to make them second class citizens. That is what has happened in Michigan and all the other states that imposed a state constitutional amendment keeping marriage from committed same-sex couples. And, it’s going to happen all over again in Texas next Tuesday. I expect Texas to be true to it’s form and once again put into their constitution, as it is their law, that they do indeed hate gays.

We want equality. What is so “undemocratic” about that? We just want to be equal. But as Mr. Cropsey said, “It was very clear that’s what was going on. You don’t want to be encouraging other forms of lifestyle. You want to encourage marriage.” Ok, I get it. But for all the years that people complained that gays were having sex in their parks or library rest rooms, they really need to understand that that happened (and is still happening) because that is all, for the longest time, that has been set aside for our community. It’s about conditioning. If you are told that what you are and what you do is taboo, of course you are going to carry it to dark secluded places to do it.

Now that we have said enough of that crap - we want more out of life than that, we are told that we can’t have that either.