General Stuff: September 2008 Archives

Yes I know... Fall isn't here yet. But today feels like Fall, with it's 50-60ish degree days. And there's this fall feel in the air. Everything is crisp. The afternoon sun finds it's way through the trees in the forest to bath the chrysanthemums on my porch. They are in full bloom now. The "homeless" neighborhood cat, Justin....

...comes by daily (from his home down the street), to tell us how hungry he is, so that we will give him sliced turkey feast with gravy, with a bit of fresh cream to wash it all down with. Shameless, but I have a soft heart for creatures it seems. I even leave food out for raccoons, birds, opossum, and the like. You never know who's going to stop by.

Mom just left after spending a few days with us. We had a good time. We took her to see Gillette Castle, and had a nice picnic lunch out at Mashapaug Pond. She went back to Idaho last Wednesday.

We are getting ready to go back out to Idaho the first part of October. Kent is being presented with an award from the college we both went to, where we met 33 years ago. We went to The College of Idaho. I'd like to say that it was a friendly and inviting place for gays, but it wasn't. There was a lot of homophobia at the time. And of course, there still is in Idaho in general. But there are places of light in Idaho, such as Boise, where it's more ok to be different. Keep in mind, in many places in Idaho, it would still be very difficult to be a person of color. It would also be rather dreary and dreadful for a gay person to live in Idaho now if they didn't live in Boise. That's just my opinion and the opinion of a few gay people now living in Idaho.

So, I was honestly surprised when I RSVP'd to the college to be at the presentation dinner for Kent. I asked them where I should send my check for the awards dinner, and the lady on the other end told me. I hung up, and 10 minutes later, she was calling me back, after speaking with the Alumni Director, to tell me that since I was "coming with Kent" (couldn't bring themselves to say "partner" or "spouse"), that there would be no charge for me because I'm a "CO". I said, "Hummm, ok. Well, I guess that's a good thing." I'm thinking to myself, "What the hell is a CO?" Perhaps "cohabitating other"? She was very clearly uncomfortable having this conversation, so I simply let her off the hook and said that I understood what she was trying to say. So in some sense, the college we went to is trying in their own way to give us the dignity of being a couple, without coming out and saying it. I guess that's progress... kind of... sort of. Of course, I have no idea what Kent will say when he gets up to speak. That's up to him.

I think it's also progress that Mom told me that she called the college to tell them that if they didn't pick up my tab for me, that they would (both hotel and the cost of the dinner). People are trying, but damn it, it would be nice if the college and our folks didn't have to go through these hoops to reconcile this with their sensibilities, without it looking like Kent and I have something, and more to the point, that they are enlightened. I know their intentions are good, but I go away feeling patronized and being something that, unfortunately, is something (me) that has to be worked around so they can have this event. It's honestly not a very positive feeling. And this is all probably happening so much behind the scenes so that the college (and our folks) in no way come out looking like they condone what we are. God, I'm so far beyond this crap.

But, this is progress. This time, at least I'm being invited to go. Last time, Kent ended up going to his Dad's award... I wasn't invited because I would be an embarrassment... and, I took the opportunity to go to the Virgin Islands alone. Yes, beautiful there, and it sucked, all at the same time.

So, we are flying back for a few days. And we've decided that we need a new set of luggage. We are doing our part to stimulate the economy... new clothes, new cologne (Armani stopped making Emporium (bastards), so now I have to go with Diamonds by Armani, an actually fresher and more sophisticated fragrance. Now, it's back to the mall for a nice dinner at Bellini's, and then off to buy luggage. This time, we are going to buy luggage with some color to it, most likely red. With most people getting black luggage, it's hard to tell them all apart. With Kent traveling so much, I'm afraid our luggage has seen better days.

We are also going to New Zealand in December, which is especially nice because while we are having winter in Connecticut, it is summer in New Zealand. So, we will be scoping out what we have time to see and what we don't. We will probably be there two weeks.