Essays: May 2005 Archives

Embryos Are Human Life.

That’s the opinion of columnist Mona Charen, a syndicated writer in Washington.

I read her opinion piece this morning in the Hartford Courant as I was having my bagel (with lox no less) this morning at Charley’s, in Vernon, Connecticut. Kent and I go there every Sunday morning for breakfast - somewhat of a ritual, I suppose. I’ve often thought that, if someone wanted to wipe us out, it would be easy, because Kent and I are creatures of habit and we definitely have our routines.

The Kansas City Star, editorializing about the president’s threat to veto the stem cell bill passed by the House, described human embryos as the “excess products of fertility procedures.” The Los Angeles Times, contemptuous of the president’s ethical misgivings, declared: “It’s not a choice between a human life and an embryo’s life. It’s a choice between real human lives and a symbolic statement about the value of an embryo.”

I agree with that. How can you really compare an embryo (one that was going to be discarded, by the way) with that of a human life? The research from this could lead to many medical breakthroughs for many people - people with Parkinson’s Disease, Diabetes, or Alzheimer’s Disease, to mention just a few.

If you really want to make an argument that human embryos (that were going to be discarded) are on equal par to someone who might benefit from stem cell research, then I think you could equally make the argument against those who self-pleasure themselves and discard unused sperm, or those who wear condoms during sex, only to throw the condom containing sperm into the garbage can. No, I’m not trying to be crude. I’m try to make a valid point.

If you can say that an embryo is human life and that stem cell research should not be done, then how can you say that the sperm from a male is not equally valid? After all, the sperm provides a genetic blueprint to make it possible for that embryo to develop into a person. Mona goes on to say:

The New York Times and others object that majorities in public opinion polls support this research. Is that how we should evaluate moral claims?

Mona, apparently so. You know what I find amusing in all of this? Mona Charen will make a statement like that, but when it comes to the “majority” of Americans opting to pass state constitutional amendments preventing gay couples from getting married, they are all for that - because it is what the majority wants.

Now, with a subject like embryonic research, suddenly they aren’t so interested in what the majority wants. Now, they are interested in the “moral” thing.

So where do you draw the line? I happen to believe that it is immoral to put basic, equal, civil rights up for a popular vote. I think that is immoral, when law abiding, tax-paying citizens like ourselves are openly placed into a second-class status. Kent and I will enter into that second-class status after October 1st, if we decide to enter into a Connecticut Civil Union. It’s second class because it is not called “marriage”, and the second we leave the state of Connecticut, it dissolves. I think that is wrong. But, that is what the “majority” of people in Connecticut want - for us to be second class.

I suppose I have to live with that. But what is good for the goose is good for the gander. If you are going to use that argument, BE CONSISTENT. You can’t use the argument that gay couples cannot get married because the majority of citizens don’t want that, then turn around and bitch because the majority of citizens favor stem cell research. It doesn’t work that way, and someone as smart as Mona Charen damn well knows it.

Mona, stop being a hypocrite.

I’m sitting here listening to The Marriage of Figaro, by Mozart. I know, most of you don’t know opera. That’s not the point.

I come to this place when I feel overwhelmed by life. Today is the Sunday before Memorial Day. I’m wondering how many people really honor or understand Memorial Day. It’s kind of like Christmas, I suppose. Not everyone celebrates Christmas, which is fine. But many don’t even know what they are not celebrating.

I was going to point out some injustices in the world - where do I begin? But you know, sometimes you just have to overlook everything and realize that, there were injustices before my existence ever came to be. There will be injustices after I’m gone. It’s important to realize that our lives are only a slice in time on this planet. That’s important, because it points out just how fragile and short life is.

People say all the time, “Life’s too short for that...”. But do they really stop and think about what that means? I think it’s become cliché. I remember my sister used to say it all the time - when were were speaking to each other. The last time I talked with here was 1984, on the occasion of my Mother’s funeral.

God... now Maria Callas is singing Ah! Je Ris, from Faust (Gounod). WONDERFUL!

I’m very disconnected to my family. What is family? I know this is going to sound very very lame. But to those of you who have seen the Star Wars movies, indulge me...

There is a scene where Yoda talks about The Force. He talks about how everything is connected - how The Force is everywhere, “...yes, even the ground we walk on.” That is what life is to me. And, one of the things that has been most difficult for me to deal with in life is how we focus on everything that is different about ourselves at the expense of what we have in common. We let that tear us apart.

There is something inside me that wants to shake mankind into knowing that we are all one people. We are all the same, when you get down to the elements of what make us human beings. How much war, hatred, and bigotry must we put ourselves through before we realize that? That is the tragedy of life.

I think when people get to old age, there is a lot that they have come to accept and let go of. One is that people are petty. People care about everything that is unimportant. They put whatever that is important at any given time up on a pedestal (along with themselves) and say, “THIS is what is important!”

The seventy-year-old person will see through that and understand that it means nothing. They are brought back to the elements of their existence - the people they love – their humanity. Their sole and selfless message to all is, care for others. That’s what I want to say.

I enjoy my life. This is actually the best period of my life right now, but when I’m seventy or so years old, if I make it to that age, I think I will be ready to leave. By that time, I suppose no one will care about anyone else. But eventually, I suppose after civilization falls (and I don’t think we are that far off), we will all come back to what is important – humanity. Or, we will perish. It really is just that simple.

All the things we think are so damn important now, will disappear. I’ve put marriage way up at the top of my list because I believe that it is possibly one of the last things that can bring us closer together. It’s important to me. But, is it the real issue? Probably not. I love Kent. That is what is important. The fact that he may not be able to visit me in a hospital because we are “legal strangers” probably shouldn’t be the hot issue to me. But my insecurities win the day all the time it seems. I find myself wondering why people hate so much and are so threatened by Kent and myself - I probably won’t understand that until I am seventy or so.

Hopefully, by then, I will have an answer to share with all of you, if we are still here.

I received a comment on my site today. Because the comment was entered on an old entry, it was being held for my approval. I read it, and was stunned. The gist of the message was that we (Kent and I) are sick and demented people because of what we are. And, that “normal people” who are not “perverted” and who believe in God will rule the world. We can never win, because we are evil.

I deleted the message. I found it strange that, even though I receive a lot of this type of email, this one effected me. I had a lot of feelings after I read the comment. I felt sad, angry, and an unshakable feeling of facing the enemy. I suppose if the commenter had left a valid email address, I would have given it a bit more credence, and may have published it.

Whoever left the comment, I want to say to them, that before you pass judgment against someone, perhaps you should open your heart enough to at least know who and what you are judging. You should know the passion of those you are so ready to condemn. You should know, before you dismiss us, that we love, we hurt, and we have a need to belong to humanity. You will of course dismiss this because you know what is right. You know the will of God, after all. I would remind you that the same judgment was made against Jesus. If you want to think in those terms, it’s risky business.

I am light. I tell of my truth. I talk about what it is like to be me; what my life is like, good and bad. Truth. That is what will expose those who leave hateful messages and hide behind an invalid email address. Truth.

There is good and evil in this world. Evil leaves a message telling me that I am going to hell and that our cause is unjust because we are less than others. Evil tells me that we are perverts deserving of death and eternal damnation.

I know better than that. I know me. I know our community. I have watched the amazing strength that all of us have inside of us, gay and straight, if we will just open ourselves up to the possibility of being true to ourselves and our passions. This scares some people. They want us to feel little and alone because they want their world order to remain the same; their vision of what a marriage is, their vision of what men and women are, their vision of love, their vision of America, and their vision of God.

I have seen God. I know the light. Where, you ask? In myself, as a child when I came to know myself as being different. In my friends who gave me strength as they were dying. They had amazing grace. At the time, I felt damned. I was losing my friends left and right and no one gave a damn. My dear friend Stanley said to me once, “We have every right to hate society for what they have done to us.” He’s right. We do.

But hate goes nowhere. I remember what President Richard Nixon said in is White House farewell statement. I never cared for Richard Nixon because I do think he was a crook and a liar. I noted the tone in his voice and his sincerity as he said this because, it was the only time that I heard him talk where I knew for sure that he wasn’t lying. He said, “Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.” He was right. Hate is evil and, it is a dead end.

Today, the gift that my friends gave me as they left me, one by one, is strength. I have an amazing peace inside myself. It is from knowing that no matter what others say to me, they really can’t touch me.

05/26/2005 - The comment that was left