Essays: January 2007 Archives

I’m really trying to love winter. I am, honestly. It’s just that, if I were a bird, I’d be a flamingo; colorful, flamboyant, proud, and a lover of warm weather!

If I were President, I’d call for a constitutional amendment outlawing winter. I’d also take “Winter” out of Vivaldi’s, The Four Seasons. Be gone with it! Perhaps there could be two summers... something along that line.

Trees letting all their beautiful leaves fall should stop! Trees in the tropics deal with life without doing that. I think it’s fine to go through their little “fall color” thing, where they are all shades of orange and red, but then, go back to green.

I suppose that has about as much chance of happening as Mitt Romney introducing legislation (when he becomes President) for not only allowing gay couples to get married, but to also paint The White House something other than white! Honestly, haven’t we all had enough WHITE for awhile. Let’s paint The White House, I don’t know... “eggshell”, or “coral” (would be lovely), or “lightsalmon” (yumm), or “papeyawhip”, or perhaps “lavenderblush”? And while we are at it, why would it have to be just one color? I think we are going to need a committee formed to stop the obsession we have with white. Everyone says, “...but white goes with everything...”. Of course it goes with everything because it doesn’t do anything!

I would need another year to think about window treatments. Let’s just get some color on the house first!

Back to winter...

We even bought snow shoes this year. I’m a lousy skier, as in, I spend all my time trying to avoid the trees. And the whole time, I’m thinking about someplace warm. But Kent loves winter. So, I decided to give this snow shoe thing a try, all the while being convinced by others that it’s a blast. The only problem is, there’s no snow this winter. None. Just really cold weather. It was 6 degrees last night. Simply awful.