Miscellaneous: December 2005 Archives

Hey! It’s my birthday today. I treated myself to breakfast at a local restaurant, since I haven’t had a chance to go shopping yet since returning home. Kent is sick with a bug and wanted to rest. I gave him a back rub, put him back to bed, and was on my way out.

I had a nice breakfast. Today, I’m treating myself to see Brokeback Mountain. In fact, I’m leaving in a few minutes to see the 12:00 showing. It’s finally at a movie theater in our area. It’s a theater that caters to more “artsy” films and is not so main stream. I’m very much looking forward to it and will go with tissues in hand because, from what I’ve heard, a lot of it will hit close to home for me. I’ll let you know how I like it.

I also want to write about our return flight home from Yuma, Arizona. It didn’t go so well, and was an interesting trip home.

Tonight, we are going to Monet’s Table. They are having a special New Years Eve dinner which looks very nice. I’m hoping they won’t make a big deal of it being my birthday. They know it’s my birthday and we’ve become very close to them since we go there for brunch every Saturday.

A recent nationwide online survey conducted by GayTrendsetters.com has found that despite Ford’s recent reversal in its marketing stance towards the GLBT community, the damage may already be done. When polled as to what brands of automobiles were owned or leased by GLBT consumers, Ford came in number one at 15.78%, with Honda and Toyota trailing a close 2nd at 14.31%. However, when the Ford owners were then asked if they would purchase or lease another vehicle by Ford, 65.52% indicated they would not, based upon the perceived anti-GLBT policies by the company. (source)

Based on an Annie Proulx’s short story, “Brokeback Mountain” is about two cowboys who meet and fall in love while wrangling sheep in Wyoming in 1963. Their love lasts through two decades as they each get married to women and live “normal” lives. (source)

What they are saying about Brokeback Mountain...

Moving and majestic - The New York Times

An American masterpiece - New York Observer

Unmissable and unforgettable. A landmark film. ...with the rise of homophobia as church and state shout down gay marriage, the film is up against it. - Rolling Stone

Is America ready for Marlboro men who love men? - The Wall Street Journal

In today’s climate, a sweeping romantic epic about two men in love is historic, but when we look back in 20 or 30 years ’Brokeback Mountain’ will simply be considered a classic, timeless love story. - Damon Romine, a spokesman for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance against Defamation

Now, through movies like Brokeback Mountain, Hollywood is shedding light on the fact that not all gay men are fashion gurus, hair dressers, interior designers and superior in the arts. Some might be — God forbid — cowboys herding sheep in Wyoming. And, more importantly, capable of love-based relationships. - Chron.com

I can’t wait to see Brokeback Mountain when it comes out. My only hesitation is reliving some of my experiences from my childhood. I have had my share of crushes on my friends as a child. Some were more serious than others, but in all cases, the one thing that I could never ever do was to reveal how I felt about them. To do so would be to reveal my terrible secret - that Bill was a “queer”.

I had a friend in high school I was very close too. His name was John. Yes, that’s his real name and the only reason I use his real name is because there were many others with the name “John” in my high school. I was actually going to tell him how I felt about him, but then he told another friend, “I am no queer...” and went on to describe just how much he hated queers. Yet, we were best friends.

It hurt me a lot because I realized that if he really knew me and knew that I loved him, it would destroy our friendship and I would just become nothing more than “a queer” to John.

Over thirty years went by. I went back to my hometown, and of all the people I looked up was John. This from my journal to my home town on August 24, 2004:

I hadn’t seen John for thirty years, and here I was just showing up at his place of work. He came out. I had my back to him. He said, “Hello, I’m John.” I turned around, he paused for a moment and said, “Oh my God, It’s Bill!” It was nice to see him again, but I quickly realized that I may have made a mistake. He was happy to see me and as he talked, it sounded like the John that I knew, even though his appearance was different. His hair was mostly gray now. We talked about all the stuff we did together as kids. The time we climbed to the top of the small butte. I thought about all that happened when we stayed on the top of that butte overnight, in our budding sexuality, things that it is understood as adults would never be talked about ever again. I loved him. When life became difficult for me at school and rumors were circulating about me being gay, all friendships distanced themselves from me. Eventually, we never talked again. I left Emmett, went to college, and set out in the world.

John said that he had married, and had two kids who are now adults and no longer at home. I knew he had married and had kids. When he asked if I had married, I started to think about how to tell him about my life and what came to mind was an old memory from high school. Someone said something to him in a joking manner about him liking me in school. John said, “I’m no queer!”. With that memory, I said, “I have a partner.” He looked at me a bit strangely. The topic was dropped and replaced with other meaningless diatribe. We said our goodbyes, and I left wondering if it was a good idea that we had stopped.

Most of us, if we are honest, have had these crushes in the past. They are part of normal sexuality and exploration in finding who and what we are. In the case of gays, making these revelations known can be right down dangerous - psychologically and physically. But how psychologically damaging is it to say nothing, and to keep what you are to yourself, as if you are deeply ashamed of what you are? And if asked, lying about what you are and what you feel inside?

So I think that Brokeback Mountain will be a difficult movie for me to view. It will bring back memories that I usually try not to think about. It deals with the same kind of love that cuts deep to the heart of your soul, yet cannot be acknowledged. I also think that it’s strange that it’s being put out in “limited release”, as though they are afraid of what people will do if they see it. Oscar Wilde called this the “the love that dare not speak it’s name”. It’s frustrating because it’s impossible right now to see it, even though it is getting rave reviews. It will be something I look forward too.

Related Article
January 1, 2006 - Brokeback Mountain

Well, there’s a lot to be said for free speech. But personally, I think that Ann Coulter will say anything, ANYTHING, just to get a rise out of people. I have three issues with Ann Coulter:

She’s THE most obnoxious person I’ve ever heard/seen anywhere. Maybe it’s her voice?

Anyone who disagrees with her is a stupid moron (I try to at least listen and understand what the other is saying).

Everything’s a conspiracy if you are a Democrat. Every argument she makes is right down party lines. If a Republican does something she doesn’t agree with, it’s ignored completely.

I was a bit surprised that she is only asking $16,000. Usually, after one makes a book deal (“How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter”), they ask for much more.

At least, perhaps, it will get the students to think. That is after all, what scholarship is all about.

There is no doubt it’s on everyone’s minds. Everywhere you go, it’s the topic of discussion and no it’s not Santa Claus, but syndicated conservative Ann Coulter is coming to town and she has a lot on her mind.

Coulter is to speak at the Jorgenson Center of Performing Arts tonight at 7 p.m. The event is free for UConn students. Doors open at 5:30 p.m.

Her presence on campus has stirred up debate since the Undergraduate Student Government’s (USG) funding board and senate approved $16,000 for the event tonight.

Upon voting on Oct. 26, some USG senators questioned whether it was too much money to bring a speaker like Coulter to campus. The funding was eventually approved.

Other students are worried Coulter will bring nothing but hate-speech to the university, sparking responses against Coulter and an event to take place this afternoon at 5 p.m. at the Student Union Theater. (source - UCONN, The Daily Campus)

The antigay American Family Association claimed a cultural victory on Thursday and called off its threatened boycott of Ford Motor Co. On Friday, Ford spokesman Mike Moran confirmed to Advocate.com that the company will stop advertising its Jaguar and Land Rover brands in gay publications but insisted it was strictly a business decision. (source)

Yeah right. You just keep believing that it was “strictly a business decision”. I’ve been in business too long to accept that this was simply done for business reasons. It makes no sense. Why alienate a segment of the population from buying your product for a business reason. That only makes sense if you are trying to drive customers away, which makes no business sense.

This was purely a decision bowing to the special interests of the far right religious bigots. I’m getting so damn sick of these people. Don’t they have anything else better to do?

As far as Ford is concerned, we should of course return the favor by boycotting them. It’s nothing personal, it’s “strictly a business decision” on our part. Right?

And this I read on Dec. 9, 2005
Volvo's Gay Friendly Position Proves Ford Didn't Cave To The AFA

The AFA, which has an undeniable (though it tries) agenda against homosexuals living peacefully and enjoying liberties equal to straight people, is in the business of claiming victories, even when there isn’t one to claim. That helps drive membership contributions. I wouldn’t doubt that some dealer or even a Ford exec may have pointed to some gay magazine titles dropping from Jaguar/Land Rover’s ad schedule as a ploy to make the group go away. But since Volvo has no intention of dropping its ad schedule with The Advocate, a gay magazine, I’m at a loss to figure out why the AFA can claim victory for anything. The AFA took down its www.boycottford.com website, which now simply links to the AFA’s website, citing Ford’s apparent decision to give into their demands.

This is akin to someone claiming they made the sun come out because they did a sun dance just before dawn. Jaguar and Land Rover were almost certainly making these cuts regardless of the AFA.

Ford will be meeting with a coalition of gay advocacy executives soon to hear them out too. Meantime, the groups are squawking. From Michael Wilke, executive director, Commercial Closet Association: “Commercial Closet Association understands Ford Motor Co.'s dilemma, though we don't agree with its decision to reverse its careful research on gay and lesbian consumers, years of friendship-building corporate sponsorship, and gay-friendly advertising since 2002.”

Related Article
December 14, 2005 - Ford changes it's mind

Well, I guess I will be keeping that Wells Fargo credit card after all. I’ve had the account for many years, dating back to my college years (before they were Wells Fargo). I’ve kept the account because I’ve lived with it so long. I had thought about closing the account in the past. I use it occasionally and keep it around basically as one of those “in case anything goes wrong and I need an emergency credit card” type of account. But given that Wells Fargo is being so supporting of diversity and is openly including our community, I may make it my primary card of use.

Focus on the Family is looking for a new bank, saying it’s dumping Wells Fargo for its “pro-homosexual agenda.”

The Colorado Springs-based Christian group told its followers about the move Thursday. Focus on the Family said that a “pivotal reason” the San Francisco- based bank is getting the ax is that its logo was used in a fund-raising campaign for a “fight against the ’anti-gay industry’ - a group that pro-gay organizations have stated includes Focus on the Family.”

Wells Fargo had agreed to match contributions to a media-campaign fund for GLAAD, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. But its logo got attached to a fund-raising Internet advertising campaign that raised Focus on the Family’s ire. [...]

The bank says “we direct our giving to areas that we believe are important to the future of our nation’s vitality and success: community development, education and human services.”

James Dobson, Focus on the Family’s chairman, told the group’s followers that Wells Fargo was part of a larger trend in which “gay and lesbian activist groups have picked off all the big companies in the United States.”

Focus CEO Jim Daly said 49 of the Top 50 Fortune 500 companies “have adopted pro-gay policies. Looking at the entire list, 85 percent of the Top 500 companies have done so.” (source)

Past Postings on Wells Fargo
May 16, 2005 - Wells Fargo to Recognize LGBT Businesses

Related Article
Anti-gay group scolds bank
Focus on the Family leaves bank over pro-gay issues

I was just watching Latter Days on LOGO, the gay channel. They had this advertisement on this product called “Urine Gone”. I thought I was watching a joke. I finally realized that they were very serious. I guess I just never thought that they would call a product “Urine Gone”. I wonder if it sells?

They even include a “black light stain detector”. That’s a little scary.

I learn something new every day.

U.S. President George W. Bush on Wednesday rejected calls for a timetable to pull U.S. troops from Iraq, but the top Democrat in the U.S. House of Representatives added to the pressure by announcing her support for a quick withdrawal of forces.

Bush sought patience from a U.S. public increasingly critical of the Iraq war, while the killing of nine people near Baghdad underscored a dire security situation two weeks before Iraqis vote in a milestone election.

“I will settle for nothing less than complete victory,” Bush said in a speech at the U.S. Naval Academy, his latest effort to explain his Iraq strategy. “It’s worth the time and it’s worth the effort.” (source)

“Complete victory” of what? We have, under this administration, completely botched this war we are blindly proceeding with. We hear time and time again that the war is “hard work” and that we have to “stay the course” and that “lives are always lost in war”. But shouldn’t those people, those soldiers, die for something that matters?

We are supposed to be training Iraqi troops to maintain the peace in that country and to “establish democracy”. At least, this is what I’ve been told. This is the “democracy” that is being established at the hands of the Iraqi military that we are putting into place.

Hundreds of accounts of killings and abductions have emerged in recent weeks, most of them brought forward by Sunni civilians, who claim that their relatives have been taken away by Iraqi men in uniform without warrant or explanation.

Some Sunni men have been found dead in ditches and fields, with bullet holes in their temples, acid burns on their skin, and holes in their bodies apparently made by electric drills. Many have simply vanished.

Some of the young men have turned up alive in prison. In a secret bunker discovered earlier this month in an Interior Ministry building in Baghdad, American and Iraqi officials acknowledged that some of the mostly Sunni inmates appeared to have been tortured.

Bayan Jabr, the interior minister, and other government officials denied any government involvement, saying the killings were carried out by men driving stolen police cars and wearing police and army uniforms purchased at local markets. “Impossible! Impossible!” Mr. Jabr said. “That is totally wrong; it’s only rumors; it is nonsense.”

Many of the claims of killings and abductions have been substantiated by at least one human rights organization working here - which asked not to be identified because of safety concerns - and documented by Sunni leaders working in their communities.

American officials, who are overseeing the training of the Iraqi Army and the police, acknowledge that police officers and Iraqi soldiers, and the militias with which they are associated, may indeed be carrying out killings and abductions in Sunni communities, without direct American knowledge.

But they also say it is difficult, in an already murky guerrilla war, to determine exactly who is responsible. The American officials insisted on anonymity because they were working closely with the Iraqi government and did not want to criticize it publicly. [...]

“There is no question that bodies are turning up,” said the investigator, who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity, citing safety concerns. “Quite a few have been handcuffed and shot in the back of the head.” (source)

This is the “real progress” that President Bush speaks of. Apparently, the man lives in his own little private world with the likes of Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, and VP Cheney. I prefer to live in the world of reality. The reality is, what we are putting into place in Iraq to maintain the peace is nothing but an army of thugs who will eradicate anyone who gets in their way. It kind of sounds like... Saddam Hussein, all over again.