Miscellaneous: June 2006 Archives

I woke up this morning around 9:00. It felt so good to just sleep in. I worked for awhile on general chores around the house, and decided to get my things together and go to the gym.

I joined this new gym a few months ago. I was good about going for awhile, but then other things in life got in the way, like work. It’s easy to let things slip. But today, I decided to go back and get back into it. When I joined the gym, I had the option of getting a tour of all the services they offered. At the time, I really didn’t have the time to do it. I just wanted to get to my workout.

Today, after signing in, I asked if it was still an option to have that tour. They said it was, and they sent this young man up to walk me through a workout. God, it was grueling, but it showed me just how much work I have ahead of me. And of course, they tried to sell me on the idea that I absolutely needed a personal trainer. And as it turns out, they have a “special rate” that is going on until next Thursday. I probably will just do my own thing. I’ll have to think about it.

After I left the gym, my arms felt tired and like rubber. I decided to go by the store close to the gym to pick up some “health food” - low in fat, high in protein, etc.

As I got out of my car, I noticed that the Red Cross truck was parked at the side of the store. I assumed they were doing a blood drive. This man from the truck quickly approached me, and asked me if I would mind spending a few moments of my time to donate blood. I replied, “Not if you don’t mind taking the blood from a gay man.” He looked a bit stunned, and said, “No, we can’t do that.”

I looked at him and said, “Then stop fucking asking me.” He replied, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.” I replied, “Do you have any idea how demoralizing and insulting it is for me for your organization to have it’s belittling attitude towards people like me? A straight man can have sex with prostitutes and still donate blood. But I am banned for life for being a gay man even though all blood is tested. So don't stand there and look shocked that I am talking to you with this piss poor attitude.”

He started to say something. With that, I took my arm and waved him away in disgust. I realized just how far my mind has come with this subject. I’ve gotten to a point that I openly voiced my disgust to a member of the Red Cross. And, when they tried to talk more, I waved him away in a way that said, “Go fuck yourself.”

I understand that the Red Cross helps people. I just can’t seem to reconcile my personal life with their policy. I find it repugnant. They don’t know me. They don’t know people like me. And, they don’t seem to want to know people like me. So, I don’t have the time of day for people or organizations like that.

Am I the only one out there who feels this way?

I usually don’t write about the happenings in Iraq. I used to, but I stopped. Why? Because I believe that what has happened in Iraq, and what is happening in Iraq, is self evident. We all know what is going on. We all know (at least if we are honest about it) that this was a fabricated war, all in the name of “fighting the war on terror”. History will decide how well the United States will fare in this war - both from the point of view of winning the war and our global reputation. This is the legacy of George W. Bush...

I do not support this war. I do not agree with the reasons we put our troops in harms way because one moron in the White House decided for political reasons that Iraq was a threat to our national security. What has endangered our national security is allowing Osama bin Laden to escape when we had a good chance at stopping him. Instead, we stayed behind in Iraq.

Having said that, I do support our troops. I support them and what they must put up with in every way I can. I have helped many of them who cannot afford a call home by providing a means for them to make that call home. I can not think of a better way to reach out to them by allowing them to talk to the ones they love. I do not say this to show what a caring and decent person I am. I say this to show that I am more than just words - words are easy. Deeds are tough.

So last week, when I read of what happened to Private First Class Thomas Tucker and Private First Class Kristian Menchaca, who were tortured and killed in Iraq, I was left with a sense of outrage and sadness. I want to be able to say that they died to preserve our freedom rather than just the tool of some political maneuver.

And now that they are dead, I am further outraged at the news that members of the Westboro Baptist Church will be picketing the funerals of both of these two soldiers. They are the same people who host the website, godhatesfags.com (I refuse to link to the bastards and I notice with a sense of satisfaction that their website seems to be down at this time). I find it hard to say this and still keep a sense of decency in me, but they are more deserving of the fate that happened to those two soldiers. They are despicable and hateful people.

Of course, this is democracy, and democracy isn’t easy. Democracy means that they have the freedom to spew their hatred and contempt for gays and lesbians - and now, apparently, for the whole nation because the nation lets us live. That’s right. They would not be content until the United States put a death sentence on every gay and lesbian citizen. I would imagine that they would want us stoned to death in the public square or hanged and left strung up for days for all to see. Only then, would they say that we are deserving of God’s grace.

It’s scary that we live in a country that has such people in it. But I am grateful that the same democracy that allows these animals to spew such hatred, also allows me to live as an openly gay man and a proud American.

I honor the memory of these two soldiers.

A controversial, much-scorned Kansas church that believes America is doomed and suffering because it tolerates homosexuality has been picketing the funerals of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq - and so, members plan to travel to Central Oregon and Texas to protest at the services for Pfcs. Thomas Tucker and Kristian Menchaca.

What’s more, on their Website, godhatesfags.com - which is hard to view, because of the no-doubt constant tech attacks on its existence - the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., hails the killing of the two men by their Iraqi insurgent captors. It called the killings retribution for the attacks on their graveside protests, including a new federal law that bans protesters from being too close to military funerals at national cemeteries.

“Thank God for the grisly deaths of Privates Thomas Tucker and Kristian Menchaca,” the Website message states. “They died at the hands of an angry God in His retaliatory wrath in punishing America for her violent persecution of Westboro Baptist Church for preaching the truth to America about her abominations. WBC will picket their funerals.” (source)

I’ve been following this for awhile now. I looks as if Lewis will not be put to sleep. We was placed under permanent house arrest since he was attacking the neighbors. Also, he apparently attacked the Avon lady (I probably would have also - I don’t like Avon).

I can’t believe they put Lewis on Prozac.

BRIDGEPORT, Connecticut (AP) -- A Connecticut judge on Tuesday spared the life of alleged serial-scratcher Lewis the cat, whom even Prozac could not tame, but ordered that the felonious feline remain inside his owner’s home at all times.

“There are no exceptions. None,” said Judge Patrick Carroll, who also granted accelerated rehabilitation to Lewis’ owner, Ruth Cisero of Fairfield, Connecticut.

That means her record will be expunged if she successfully completes two years of probation.

Cisero had faced a charge of reckless endangerment. Neighbors complained that the cat’s long claws and stealth have allowed it to attack at least a half-dozen people and ambush the Avon cosmetics lady as she got out of her car on her neighborhood rounds. (source)

I was talking to a friend a couple of days ago. He is a straight male and a good friend. He knows much of my past. He asked me when I knew I was gay. I told him I knew when I was six years old. I didn’t know what it was that made me different, but I did know I was not like other boys. At six years old, being gay is not a sexual feeling. I loved music. I loved art and beautiful things. For some reason, I just couldn’t get into the idea of playing tether-ball until my hands would bleed. That just wasn’t me.

So, I was scared that people would discover that I was different. So, even at the tender age of six when I started school, I started being very careful about talking with anyone. In fact, I was a recluse. I talked to no one. During lunch, Mom would come and bring me lunch because I was afraid that she too would go away to that magical place of forever. It had to be hard on her because when the end of the lunch hour would come, I would start crying, every single day. I would make her promise that she would never leave me... never... never... never. She would promise. I would cry more. She would promise again, and again.

Two years passed. I was better about lunch. I would take the sandwich that Mom made me, and go off to some secluded place to eat it. I would then wait out my lunch period all by myself. And, I did this for years.

I told my friend this and he said, “Didn't your Dad die when you were six?’ I said, “Yes, he did.” He replied, “Maybe that’s why you turned out gay.”

I don’t know how to answer that. I believe that I was born gay. But, maybe the trauma of my father dieing in the middle of the night and leaving me did something to me. Maybe the fact that my family wouldn’t tell me that my father would never come back did something to me. How would I know?

But in a bigger sense of it all, why does any of that matter? It’s almost like saying that being gay is a bad thing, and I don’t believe that is true. Is being straight superior to being gay? Does being gay mean that something went wrong with me long ago? I don’t know how to react or feel about that.

To me, people are people, and they are made up of many different factors and aspects of their personalities. Sexual orientation is just one of those aspects - I don’t think it is unfortunate that a person is homosexual - I don’t think it is unfortunate that a person is straight. I think it is what it is.

And, if I really wanted to look at the REAL problem with being gay, it has nothing what so ever to do with being gay. It has to do with what prejudiced people do with that knowledge. I prayed to God when I was a scared 15 year old to change me into a “normal” person. I did this because I was afraid of what I would face if He didn’t make me “normal”. Today, I thank God that he never did because I think I’m not all that bad as far as people go. In fact, being gay has given me the sensitivity to reach out to people and have compassion for others who feel adversity.

I look around me and everywhere I look, I see people who hate gays or other minorities, people who are indifferent to the needs of others, people who only care for themselves, people who see something wrong with everyone else, but themselves. It makes me sick, because the real issues I have faced in my life have come from people who can’t accept what I am. And if they do accept what I am, they try to understand what “went wrong” to make me that way. And, that is almost as painful as someone calling me a faggot, because it usually comes from someone that I care about, be it a friend or a family member. Even today, I know of some gay people who will have as little to do with straight people as possible because they just don’t trust them. I think that’s sad.

I suppose the real question to be asked is, why is being straight the only desirable thing that a person can be? This is at the heart of what gay kids face today. The “disease”, if you want to call it that (some would), isn’t being gay. The disease is prejudice, intolerance, and a desire to try to force people, through intimidation or violence, into being something they aren’t. And if they can’t change, as I couldn’t, they try their best to hide it - I did for years.

Any way you slice it, a lie is no way to live your life. People shouldn’t have to live that way.

It’s a heated exchange between Fox anchorwoman Julie Banderas and anti-gay crusader Shirley Phelps-Roper (Fred Phelps daughter) that turned from a heated exchange into an all out fight. (make sure your speakers are on)

Found on the Washingtonblade.com

Two Issues Today...

Rove won’t be charged in CIA leak case

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Top White House aide Karl Rove has been told by prosecutors he won’t be charged with any crimes in the investigation into leak of a CIA officer’s identity, his lawyer said Tuesday.

Attorney Robert Luskin said that special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald informed him of the decision on Monday, ending months of speculation about the fate of one of President Bush’s closest advisers. Rove testified five times before a grand jury.

Fitzgerald has already secured a criminal indictment against Vice President Dick Cheney’s former chief of staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby.

“On June 12, 2006, Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald formally advised us that he does not anticipate seeking charges against Karl Rove,” Luskin said in a statement. (source)

Is anyone surprised by this? This Administration does whatever it is they want to do. They get away with torturing people, lying their way into war, scapegoating one group against the other for political purposes, spying on us without warrants, and breaking laws left and right because the President just decides too, and nobody challenges him. In the end, no one will be held accountable.

Sen. Arlen Specter has also introduced a bill that would “grant blanket amnesty to anyone who authorized warrantless surveillance under presidential authority, a provision that seems to ensure that no one would be held criminally liable if the current program is found illegal under present law.” Nice, huh?

Kids Who Flirt With Danger... or... Parents, Start Parenting!

She is an honor student from a small town in Michigan. He calls himself Abdullah Psycho.

They found love on the Internet and it became an international incident -- a spectacular example of what experts say is fast becoming a modern twist to an age-old problem of young girls, older men and bad decisions. Nationwide, Web enticement cases have quadrupled in recent months, according to a national group that tracks such incidents. [...]

She wanted to meet a man with the ominous nickname, believed to be 25, whom she met on the popular Web site MySpace.com. Instead, FBI agents tracked her down Thursday during a layover in Amman, Jordan, and persuaded her to return to her bewildered family.

“Evidently, she’s in love with this man. That’s what she said,” said family attorney Renee Wood, during a press conference Monday on the steps of the Tuscola County Courthouse in Michigan’s Thumb. [...]

Shehan said MySpace doesn’t appear to have any liability in the case. In fact, he praised the site for adding a link to his group’s hot line in the past two months and working with law enforcement on enticement cases. (source)

It amazes me how people let their kids on the Internet without knowing anything about what they are doing. I suppose to the parents, it’s the same as giving your son or daughter $50 and telling them to go to the mall for an afternoon with their friends. I have known people who have done that many times. So why is it that we are so concerned that they now do the same thing with the Internet.

I guess I’m amazed at parents who do this because you have to be stupid in this day and age to believe that there are no bad people around. They are everywhere. A few years ago, an acquaintance of mine was robbed and killed just blocks away from where I work. I hear all the time about how someone met someone on the Internet and lucky for them, they walked away with disappointment that the picture displayed on the web didn’t match the person they met at the bar or restaurant. In some instances, these people make arrangements to meet their new on line friend at a hotel/motel room. That is so stupid, and if you don’t understand why that’s stupid, you might as well stop reading this now and go on to the next blog, because this is over your head.

My Space is no different than any other Internet service. They are merely providing a place for people to meet. They are not responsible when people take information from their site and do stupid things with it - such as meet a stranger in a non-public area that could turn out to be another Jeffrey Dahmer. The Internet is no different than that mall you send your kid off too. The only thing the Internet offers is some additional cover for these creeps to hide in.

Someone at work asked me how to keep their kid safe from the Internet. I told them, “Keep your kid off the Internet. And, if they must go on, have the computer in a common area in your house in clear view of what they are viewing or watching. If you pass by the computer and your kid quickly changes screens, they are up to no good!

Also, people are seldom what they say they are on the Internet. People lie. You should ALWAYS assume that people are lying to you on the Internet, until they prove otherwise. Which is why I hardly ever go on line for chat anymore. And when I do, I have it set up so that only my buddies (people I met first in “real life” and then talk to occassionally on the Internet) can see me. That keeps the creeps out. Yes, even I get unsolicited requests for sex or other scams from people who don’t even know me.

Parents, the Internet is a wonderful tool for information (there’s a lot of crap on here too), BUT, THE INTERNET IS NEVER A SAFE PLAYGROUND FOR YOUR KIDS!

I’m taking the day off today - call it a mental health day. After this week, I think I’ve earned it.

I haven’t posted many photos lately. My Nikon D70 camera died. It literally just quit working. I thought they lasted for years. I took it in to get it serviced and was told that it would cost $699 to send to Nikon for repairs. No matter what is wrong with it, it is a flat rate since we never bought the extended warranty program (we never do because we think they are basically rip offs). They also told me that I should be sending the camera in twice a year for “routine service”. That seems like a lot to me.

Anyway, we had two choices. We could either send the camera in for service, which could take up to 8 weeks to get back, or we could buy the D70s. The D70s replaced the D70 and is very similar to the camera. And it costs $700, about the same price as sending in my D70 for servicing.

We thought about what to do over cappuccino. We decided that sending the camera in for service wouldn’t work because if it did take up to eight weeks to get it back, I wouldn’t have the camera for our trip to Amsterdam and Denmark. The D70 and D70s are 6 mega pixel cameras. We started talking about upgrading to a different camera, the D200, with 10.2 mega pixels. But it cost around $1,600. We opted for that since this is the one serious hobby that we both enjoy. We also bought the three year service plan on this one. We are still learning the camera. It’s a very different configuration than the D70, but so far, it’s awesome. And, all my current lens work just fine with it.

Tonight, I’m meeting an old friend for a movie and dinner. I haven’t seen him in ten years. He’s a concert pianist and quite successful. We are going to the Connecticut Gay and Lesbian Film Festival to watch Guys And Balls (yes I know... I was also taken aback by the title - sounded like porn movie to me).

We are going to the movie first at 7:30, then off to dinner at 10:00 (very late dinner for me), but it should be fun. I’ll just pretend I’m in Paris, where they really do start eating dinner around 8-10 at night. We are going to Peppercorns Grill in Hartford.

Macy’s killed their gay pride display. For those of you who don’t know it, June is Gay Pride Month. I got a kick out of this. I don’t know why it struck my funny bone.

“They were male mannequins with enlarged breasts, and one was wearing a skirt,” said MassResistance president Brian Camenker, referring to the gay pride flag wrapped around one figure, cinched with a white belt. “It was really disgusting.” (source)

Enlarged breasts?? That would probably disturb me on a mannequin also.