Miscellaneous: November 2006 Archives

Read # 1
This from Ellen Goodman, who I enjoy reading on occasion. She had this to say about the Ted Haggard issue.

Haggard’s deception and repulsion are, in some ways, lagging indicators of changing attitudes and science. Thirty years ago, only 13 percent of Americans thought homosexuality was inborn while 56 percent thought it came from the way people were raised. This year, for the first time, more Americans believe that homosexuality is inborn (42 percent) than due to upbringing (37 percent). More gays, more friends, families, co-workers have come to believe that gayness is not a choice, let alone a sin. (source)

Everyone has an opinion of the hypocrisy of people who live double lives. I suppose my feeling is this: do what you want to do with your life. Not a problem, but don’t do harm to others while you are doing it. Think just a bit, before you compare gay men with the likes of pedophiles and murderers, what effect that will have on a 15 year old gay boy who is trying to decide if he has any other option except for suicide. That is what I have against people like Ted Haggard. Hopefully, those kids will find a better role model than that.

On the up side, I thought the statistic was very interesting.

Thirty years ago
13% - homosexuality is inborn
56 % - comes from how you were raised

2006
42% - homosexuality is inborn
37% - comes from how you were raised

Why? Very simple. As Ellen Goodman put it, “More gays, more friends, families, co-workers have come to believe that gayness is not a choice, let alone a sin.” For Ted Haggard’s sake, I hope that he learns that lesson as well.

Read # 2
Give it up Romney, ya loser. Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney held a rally a few days ago to spur folks to vote down marriage equality, AGAIN. It’s political pandering. He’s not running again for Governor and has his eye on the presidency. A Mormon President? I don’t know. I think that may be right up there with having a gay President, as far as the American public is concerned. But I’ve been wrong before. Religion aside, I think he’s too far right for this country right now - especially for the next presidential election two years from now, when we will still be in Iraq. Will the people want a Republican president?

On the up side, the sky has not fallen on Massachusetts since gay marriage has become the law in their state.

Romney’s office yesterday sent packages to the homes of 109 pro-gay marriage lawmakers -- 16 of whom are in the Framingham, Milford, Waltham and Dedham areas -- who recently delayed voting on the measure.

Targeted lawmakers slammed the outgoing GOP governor for trying to appease national voters as he weighs a run for president.

“It’s interesting that he’s putting the full court press on now when I’ve never heard from him on this matter before,” said state Rep. Alice Peisch, D-Wellesley, rejecting Romney’s argument that she and 108 lawmakers violated the constitution.

“If he thinks that I haven’t read the constitution, particularly the part that’s applicable to constitutional conventions, he’s wrong,” Peisch said. “I don’t need him to tell me what the constitution says.” [...]

“I’ve already read the constitution many times and (Romney) does not have a legal leg to stand on,” said state Rep. David Linsky, D-Natick, one of the 109 lawmakers sent copies of the constitution. (source)

Read # 3
I’m not sure I agree with this article. I think all of us feel added stress and feelings of loneliness and isolation over the holidays, especially. We are all going through it. When having these feelings, do what I do, eat chocolate, preferably on chilled strawberries with very good Champagne!

GLBT folk are more likely than their heterosexual counterparts to worry about money, have concerns about their health or admit to feeling lonely. (source)

Read # 4
Syria and Iraq are to restore diplomatic relations, after a break of more than 20 years. Of course they are. Now, they both have an enemy bigger than each other: The United States. I’m so happy that we have less terror in the world now that we have gone into Iraq to destroy those weapons of mass destruction that didn’t exist, and to fight/destroy Iraq where terror came from, except that it didn’t come from there. I know... details. At any rate, I would like to personally thank President George Bush for making the world a much safer place for all of us.

UN Secretary General Kofi Annan said on Tuesday the US was trapped in Iraq and had to find the right time to leave without causing even greater chaos.

“The US is in a way trapped in Iraq, trapped in the sense that it cannot stay and it cannot leave,” he said. (source)

Read # 5
And speaking of President Bush, he did make it to Vietnam... FINALLY... just not when the war was going on. He was “busy” at the time. I guess better late than never.

Read # 6
And in Indonesia, where his visit spurred demonstrations, the President said that he welcomes criticism as the hallmark of freedom, “a sign of a healthy society.”

Well, it must not have been that healthy. Because of security concerns, he quickly left Indonesia for a 10 hour plane trip to Hawaii, for his safety. At least, that was CNN’s excuse for the quick departure.

Final thoughts...
I love the seat warmers in my car
I love the Beethoven Violin Concerto
Looking forward to cooking Thanksgiving Dinner, and how very lucky I am to have Kent and my cats in my life. I truly have a wonderful family. I once told Kent that if I were back in college, and had known then how difficult our families would have made it for us, I don’t know if I would have chosen him for my partner. Well, at the time, I was depressed about the last visit from his parents. But then I realized that the problems that our families create for us are not our problems. We are together because of our love for each other, and everything is outside of that. So, I’d like to say that I absolutely feel honored to have Kent as my soul mate, and I’m so very lucky that he’s in my life.

The Baptist State Convention of North Carolina voted last week to send a clear message to its churches - ban gays or leave the membership.

But Kevin Head, pastor at First Baptist in Lumberton, said the real message that the decision sends is that Baptists are “judgmental and critical.”

“I’m so tired of Baptists getting together and fighting about things when there are so many good things we could be doing,” Head said. “I think it’s a shame ... we come across as such judgmental, critical people instead of loving, compassionate people.” [...]

“There is a prideful negligence today of sinners who are refusing the love of God,” he said. “These people claim to be Christian, and being a Christian means following God’s word.”

Head said the ruling singles out one sinner when everyone in the church is a sinner.

“Where does it stop?” he said. “We forget about grace and focus on judgment and condemnation. That’s how it appears to the world.”

Head said that the process for dealing with a homosexual in the church would be dealt with on an individual basis.

“The point is that everybody should be a part of the church,” he said. “For us to single out who can or can’t be a part of the church is a grievous error.” (source)

First off, I don’t want to be “dealt with”. But it doesn’t matter so much to me. I honestly don’t care what religions believe anymore. To me, they lost any moral authority over calling anyone a “sinner” when they started picking and choosing which “sin” they wanted to enforce (homosexuality), and which “sin” they wanted to ignore (adultery, incest, rape, masturbation, greed, etc). I suppose that would cut too much into their membership. They are nothing but self-righteous bigots, ONE AND ALL! Does that make me a sinner without grace? Did I judge or did I hit the nail on the head?

Aside from that, I do get just a bit of satisfaction at watching them self-destruct as they show their true colors and their true motivation, just like the Republican Party, come to think of it. When everything is said and done, they have little to do with LOVE and COMPASSION. They have everything to do with HATE and JUDGMENT. Is this the best deed they can accomplish?

They should really keep an eye on that. Otherwise, it might just bite them in the ass in the end (no pun intended) when they end up hateful beings who only care about hate and judgment of others. I’d say they are almost there.

This weekend was nice. We didn’t do much, for a change. Kent talked me into getting snow shoes. He got a pair as well. I guess we are going to try them this winter. It will make it easier to get around when I want to get to places this winter for photography. We’ll see how they work.

We got all the ingredients for our Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. We wanted to get an early start because we knew this week would be busy. It’s just going to be the two of us. We usually go out to a restaurant for dinner. We go to a nice one though that really goes all out. It’s really just like home cooking. But this year, even though it’s just us, we wanted to stay home and cook a nice dinner. We are having everything that goes into a Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve come to learn that it’s a lot of work if you make it a lot of work. But, if you think of it as something you enjoy doing (cooking) and not something you have to kill yourself over, it’s really quite enjoyable to just enjoy the art of cooking, and making wonderful food.

Today, I went to lunch at one of my usual places. You know, the weirdest things happen to me from time to time. I pull into the parking lot, and this lady came up to my window and started knocking on my window. I rolled down the window and she seemed quite shaken, and asked if I could possibly help her?

I asked, “What seems to be the problem?” She told me that her daughter had to go to the hospital and she lives all the way out in Madison (quite a distance from where I am), and is relying on her for the ride to the hospital. She said that her car was across the street and needed hydraulic fluid and the shop needed $18.43 before they would fix her car. She asked if I could give her a loan and she promised to pay me back within a day.

Then, she started crying and said, “This is so embarrassing. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I said, “Don’t be embarrassed. Things happen to all of us.” I pulled out my wallet, gave her a $20 and asked if that would do it. She responded, “Oh my God, this is so nice of you.” I said, “It’s no big deal. Most people would help out.” She took the money and asked how she could contact me. I told her not to worry about it, but she insisted that she had to pay it back. So, I gave her my name and phone number, and she promised to call me to coordinate how to get it back. I then watched her cross the street, and go into the garage.

It honestly doesn’t matter to me if she calls or not. I was more concerned about her driving in the state she was in. The weirdest things happen to me.

I’m not one to follow the weirdness of Tom Cruise, or his twisted life. When he’s not attacking Anderson Cooper for defending Brooke Shields, or jumping up and down on Oprah’s sofa on her TV set, he’s doing something equally weird, like inviting Brooke Shields to his wedding after telling Anderson Cooper that the depression that Brook Shields was going through was just in her head and could be cured with vitamins.

AS one might expect from Tom Cruise, it was a production of Hollywood proportions. His wedding to Katie Holmes yesterday in the 15th-century Castle Odescalchi outside Rome had a budget of more than £1.2m, with guest stars including Jennifer Lopez, Jim Carrey, Will Smith and Brooke Shields, a lavish banquet, fireworks and thousands of rose-scented candles. (source)

I guess everything is transparent and paper thin in Hollywood. Brooke has apparently made up with Tom. She attended his wedding, which probably means she will have some minor roll in a new movie he will turn out, assuming he can ever find another production company who will work with him.

But the ceremony probably went something like this....

How the ceremony may have gone

If yesterday’s service followed a typical Scientology wedding it would have included the words:

Minister to groom:

“Now, Tom, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat.

“All caprice if you will, but still they need them. Keep her, well or ill. And when she’s older do you keep her still?”

The minister may also have warned Cruise: “The tides of fortune and of life are sometimes fair or grim.”

Minister to bride:

“Hear well, Katie, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him then that you may have necessities and follies, too.

“Know that life is stark and often somewhat grim, and tiredness and fret and pain and sickness do beget a state of mind where spring romance is far away and dead.”

Ministers ask couples to keep Scientology’s tenet of affinity, reality and communication (ARC) and not to let disputes last more than a day. (source)

The Scientology ceremony is not legal in Italy, and they would be required to get a “civil union” to make it legal.

A spokesman for the Church of Scientology for Rome, Fabrizio D’Agostino, said an exchange of vows with a Scientology rite was not legally recognized in Italy, and would have to be preceded or followed by a civil union.

The publicists said Cruise and Holmes had “officialized their marriage in Los Angeles prior to their departure for Italy,” saying that was customary for couples marrying outside the United States. Cruise’s publicist Arnold Robinson wrote in response to an e-mailed question about whether that meant they had been married in a civil ceremony that “the required steps were taken for the marriage to be legal.” (source)

Anyway, I’ve paid more attention to this fiasco than it merits. This makes I believe the second marriage for Tom Cruise, or is this his third? I lost count. One thing is for sure. If Tom continues to marry women, and continues to sue anyone who even hints that he may be gay, well, no one would ever think that Tom Cruise was gay, would they?

Such is the way with many people. Hell, Elizabeth Taylor was married what, nine times (all of them legally recognized, of course)? But does anyone really care anymore how many times someone has been married? Even before they have left for their honeymoon (Tom will probably rent out Disney World for the day), a psychic has already predicted that the marriage is doomed. Hell, I could have told you that, and I don’t need tea leaves.

Sometimes I think I’m so old fashioned.

I got a call during lunch today. It started out, “Hello. Is Mr. and Mrs...”

I hung up. The fastest way to get me to hang up on you is to call my home (calls to my home forward to my cell phone), and ask for “Mr. and Mrs.”

I’m not sure why that bothers me so much. I suppose that I feel it’s disrespectful of same-sex households like mine, although my intolerance is more of a reflex, and less about thought.

Perhaps it’s because heterosexuality has been shoved down my throat all my life. I’m willing to “live and let live”. It’s the other side that can’t seem to do that. They are ok with our families as long as we remain where they feel we belong; closeted. And if a gay couple is recognized in public by showing ANY emotion towards each other, they risk personal injury (or death). I’ve had some experience with this. Think I’m over reacting on this?

Every single week, I read at least one article about some couple who was beaten to a pulp because they made the mistake of exchanging a kiss in public, or holding hands in public. This results in an exchange of insults, or beatings, and occasionally, death. I’m sick of it, but I suppose there’s nothing I can do about it. But I can do something about it if you shove that in my face when you call my home!

Occasionally, I will answer, “Yes, this is the Lady of the House. How may I help you?” They usually promptly hang up at that point.

Or, on a bad day, I’ll answer, “No, I’m not the Lady of the House. I LIKE MEN!! Get it?!!??” I usually promptly hang up (quite vigorously) at that point.

Telemarketers, or anyone else calling for that matter, really have to get their act together and find verbiage that is just a bit more inclusive of the reality we live in today. This isn’t the 1950’s you know. WE DO EXIST!

Does anyone else feel this way, or am I just over reacting a bit?

You can make yourself look better on the outside, for sure, you know what with all the plastic surgery and shit. You can look better on the outside, but you can’t do one damn thing about the aging on the inside. Now I’m lactose intolerant, all of the sudden, just in the last year I can’t eat any dairy, I get that high hard stomach, you know full of gas and then that horrible post fartum depression... I’m wet where I’m supposed to be dry and dry where I’m supposed to be wet, ladies and gentlemen. I’m a multi tasker though! I pee when I sneeze. - from Roseanne Barrs, Blonde and Bitchin’

If everyone who violates a standard he advocates is a hypocrite, the word is meaningless. And worse, it makes it impossible for just about anyone to advocate moral behavior. (source)

This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve read today. The point of standing by the principles you stand for makes you a person of integrity. When you violate the principles you stand for by applying them only to certain people (or exempting yourself), that makes you a hypocrite.

And the statement that this “makes it impossible for just about anyone to advocate moral behavior”, is absurd. Unless of course, you are talking about selectively applying your rules of morality on certain groups of people, and ignoring them for others, or yourself? That makes you a hypocrite and a bigot. Don’t you just love labels?

Those wishing to “protect marriage” from gay couples are, to a very large extent, hypocrites. Sorry, but that’s just the truth. How many who want to “protect marriage” in the name of morality are on their second or third marriage? How many have had or are having love affairs while married? How many have had children out of wedlock? Yet, no one is throwing stones at those people because that would be unpopular.

If you are truly honest about enforcing morality, you can’t pick and choose which rule will apply to which person.

That’s just, well, hypocritical.

In the hush of a Sunday morning, 9,000 believers grieved, struggled and forgave as their pastor, the Rev. Ted Haggard, confessed his sins.

“I am a deceiver and a liar,” Haggard told his followers in a letter read from the pulpit of New Life Church by one of his spiritual mentors. “There’s a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life.” [...]

Haggard had founded this church in his basement. It grew into a congregation of 14,000. He had guided them to God and helped them triumph over sin, and he had done it always with a smile, ever exuberant, ever strong. They wept to hear what he had been hiding.

“For extended periods of time, I would enjoy victory and rejoice in freedom,” Haggard wrote. “Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach.” (source)

Perhaps the “dirt” that you thought was gone, was in fact, truth. Perhaps your desires were truth. Perhaps being yourself isn’t so “repulsive and dark”, unless you make it so. I’m sure that you will find a way to make it so, Pastor Haggard. There have been others before you.... Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, just to name a couple, who also had “repulsive and dark” feelings, as you put it.

I don’t really care what you are or what you want to be, as long as you don’t inflict hurt on others. That is what I am; accepting. But you, Pastor Haggard, do hurt people. What I find very hard to deal with is the way you will preach hateful messages to your flock, then turn right around and actually do some of the things that you condemn people for doing. You will stand up in front of thousands of people and pray to keep the “sanctity of marriage” out of the hands of gay couples, then turn around and screw a gay male prostitute. Pretty messed up stuff. God only knows what you and President Bush talk about. I’m probably better off not knowing. But that’s the thing with religion.

This too shall pass. Somehow, your followers will find a way to forgive you for this, and in turn, you will find a way to continue to damn those in the fringes of society, perhaps as penance for those “repulsive and dark” feelings you have from time to time. It worked for the Catholic Church. I’m sure you and your church will find a way to make it work for you as well.

Just pray about it. The more you pray, the more prostitutes become scum, the more gays become faggots, the more the homeless become the lowest of us all, the more people with AIDS deserve what they get, as long as it’s not your son or daughter with the disease, and the more we just don’t associate with “those” people. Jesus must have had poor tastes, because he spent most of his time being around “those” people who were the outcasts of society.

Whatever you do, don’t get caught actually committing the worst sin possible - actually caring unconditionally for some stranger on the street without regard to who or what they are. Unconditional love and acceptance. Kind of like Jesus did. Remember him?

I think there’s a pattern here. Let’s see, we’ve had the Jim Bakker gay sex scandal, the Jimmy Swaggart sex scandals, and many others. It’s beginning to look like a psychotic pattern with these people.

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. -- A leading evangelist and outspoken opponent of gay marriage has given up his post as president of the National Association of Evangelicals while a church panel investigates allegations he paid a man for sex.

The Rev. Ted Haggard resigned as head of the 30 million-member association Thursday and also gave up leadership of his New Life Church pending the investigation into allegations he had monthly trysts with a gay prostitute over the past three years.

Haggard, a married father of five, denied the allegations, but the acting pastor of his church later said that Haggard had acknowledged some of the accusations were true. (source)

And this is why we should have a strict separation of church and state....

Haggard is well-known for meeting regularly with President George W. Bush to push his evangelical agenda and was also featured in the recently released film “Jesus Camp.” In the film, which he later disavowed, he said that when evangelicals vote, they determine an election.

This guy had the ear of our President. It’s simply amazing.

I there’s one thing that I am, it apparently is resilient. I went to the gym last night and worked out a lot of frustrations and I’m still working on the depression and bad feelings I have with my in-laws. But, that is only my problem if I let it be my problem. Right?

I can’t effect how people feel about people like me. I can be open and honest, but at the end of the day, it’s really their choice if they will allow themselves to be open to other people. I’ve always understood that. But, I assumed that when someone knows me as well as my in-laws do, they would know the truth about our issues. They don’t. I’m still not ready to concede that they don’t care. I think they just don’t get it. Either way, it’s their problem. The Idaho amendment will pass, and probably by a large margin. I don’t live there and never will. The couples there who are effected by this may want to consider moving to a more hospitable state. I would, especially faced with an amendment that would most likely render any legal arrangement I made with my partner null and void. Legal documents arranging for such medical directives as hospital visitation, medical decisions, etc. could be viewed as “approximating marriage” under these amendments, and could certainly be overturned by a court.

Now, I have to make a decision on how this might effect me. On Nov. 7, Idaho and Arizona will decide on constitutional amendments against gay marriage. Whatever the outcome will be up to them. If they pass, I need to decide if I’m going to stick with my conviction to return the favor by not giving those states one red cent from my pocket, should their hateful and bigoted amendments pass. I was going back to Idaho next year, and we were planning on a trip to Arizona in March, to visit my in-laws. Present feelings aside from how I feel about them at this point in time, I don’t know if I want to go to a state that will practice this kind of discrimination. If the amendments pass, I will probably not go on these trips.

Over lunch today, I read a statistic that really gave my pause. Only 37% of eligible voters actually exercise their right to vote. That’s pathetic! The article went on to say that the outcome of the election on November 7th will not be decided by those who vote, but rather by those who sit at home and don’t bother to vote. That’s scary.