Miscellaneous: July 2007 Archives

America prefers its gay movies really, really, not gay. So Adam Sandler and Kevin James getting all grossed out by each other clearly wins out over show tunes, dancing, and John Travolta in love with Christopher Walken. We imagine Universal is pretty glad they replaced Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor’s gay-friendly script, which climaxed with Chuck and Larry passionately kissing, with Sandler’s rewrite and its “who dropped the soap?” jokes. (source)

I’ve pretty much given up on Hollywood when it comes to producing a movie that is realistic about gay characters. Time and time again, I go to these movies only to be subjected to really offensive jokes about gay people. If I want to be called a faggot, I can do that for free on the streets, without paying $10-$12 a ticket to sit in a movie theater to be called a faggot. And my understanding is that this movie does that quite often. It’s ok though because the Adam Sandler character eventually gets around to saying toward the end of the show that it’s really not nice to say that to gay people. But this of course only happens after we’ve sat through two hours of it. And no, I haven’t personally seen the movie, but this is what I’ve been told.

This is the way it is for America today. People like to call themselves “tolerant” of gay people. They are, until they actually see gay people holding hands in public, or kissing. Then, these “tolerant” people tolerantly call the couple “faggots”, or beat them up (better yet), thereby bringing balance back to the universe. People are tolerant as long as we are never seen, and if we are seen, there has to be a joke close by. This movie is true to form.

That aside, a movie with the title, “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry” simply makes light of the fact that thousands and thousands of gay families along with their children from coast to coast do not have the ability to marry, or the protections of marriage. So to make a joke of that in the title of the movie is well.... intolerable. That is why I’m a bit surprised that GLADD would go along with this film...

Despite the rampant homophobia in the film, I understand from on-line reports that Sandler showed the film to GLADD in order to prevent them from picketing screenings. Having seen the film, the only possible explanation for GLADD’s refusal to complain about the content is that when they saw it, they realized that the film is an equal-opportunity offender that takes cruel potshots at virtually every other group imaginable–perhaps realizing that he can’t do these dumb frat-boy comedies forever, perhaps Sandler decided to have one less blow out in which he could make cruel fun of everyone who isn’t Adam Sandler or Rudy Giuliani (who receives a bizarre late-inning shout-out that his presidential campaign probably won’t be knocking themselves over to exploit anytime soon). (source)

And this from an interview from GLADD...

Through the disarming use of comedy, there is an exploration of homophobia, which often involves stereotypes and slurs, and it holds a mirror up to that and asks people to consider where it comes from. I can’t imagine a studio movie being made five years ago that even dealt with marriage equality and the discrimination that same-sex couples face on a daily basis in this country. (source)

Perhaps they are right. Five years ago there may not have been a studio movie “that even dealt with marriage equality and the discrimination that same-sex couples face on a daily basis in this country.” But my question is, can’t they do that without all the crude jokes and degradation of gay people?

Some things never change. I’ve also never really understood why it’s so difficult for a straight male actor to kiss another man if that role calls for it. I would have no problem kissing a woman passionately if the role called for it. Colin Farrel had such a role. In the filming, Colin went farther than his counterpart was comfortable with. Colin stormed off the set in a rage saying, “Let me know when amateur hour is over...”. And just for the record, Colin is a straight man, who apparently is quite serious about his art. And if it’s done well, I, the viewer, shouldn’t be thinking about, “Wow, he did that gay scene well, being straight and all.” I should be swept up by it. But I’m probably asking a little too much from the likes of Adam Sandler.

As far as Hollywood is concerned, they try to put on a face of being progressive to issues like ours by throwing us a “gay movie” every once in awhile, usually laced with a good dose of homophobia. Are we supposed to feel grateful for being mentioned? I would rather be totally ignored, than have some recognition from people who claim to be enlightened by using us as the brunt of their jokes, all for the bottom line.

And that’s why I won’t watch a “gay themed” movie anymore.

For the last couple of weeks, my life seems to have been about stress, sadness, loss, change, depression, doubt, and a dozen other emotions I’m sure I could come up with.

I work in a three-team environment, and two of that three are leaving my team. That just leaves me. It’s been difficult on many levels. On the emotional level, I’m not going to be working with two people that I personally consider friends. They are moving on and, from my previous experience with professional friends who change jobs, the number who actually keep in touch is down right around zero. So they will move one and in all likely hood, I will not see them again. I understand that, but I’m not the type of person that lets go of friendships easily. I don’t take it personally. Every one of you reading this will remember all the friends who entered your life and, over time, left your life. It seems to be the way of life -- change. Or perhaps I need to qualify a personal friendship versus a professional friendship. But when you work with someone for so long, that line gets blurred.

And change can be a good and healthy thing. For my department, it is healthy to have new minds look at old issues that we face. Most all the time, it is good to have a fresh outlook on problems. Of course, for me, the one who is finding replacements for these individuals, it’s just simply hard work going through interviews, listening to individual after individual explain what they have done, and why they are the most suited for the job at hand. And then calling them to hear the disappointment in their voices when you inform them that they did not get the job.

So, that’s what I’ve been doing, and it’s not left a lot of time for blogging, or any other personal endeavors for that matter. I go to work early, do interviews, and in between that, bring myself up to date on all the open issues facing the department -- issues that I haven’t dealt with in a long while because I interact mostly with management doing special projects dealing with data. Then, I come home late, totally exhausted. I go to bed early, and lay in bed worrying if I will find the right people to fill the need of my department. In other words, I bring my work home with me. That’s not like me and under normal circumstances, I leave it behind. But this has been an extraordinary time for me.

It will even out over the next couple of weeks. Things are already starting to fall into place a bit. We will go on, and I’ll settle back into my life. I’m thankful I had the vacation to Olympic National Park. But, all the relaxation and losing all my stress on that vacation was followed by all the stuff I had to deal with at work. So, the stress is back up, but at least I got to see a beautiful part of the county. I still have many photos to post and I’m starting to work on them again.

So I’m back. Life has been difficult for me, but I’ve also learned that I’m not that far removed from what I used to do years ago. It’s like riding a bicycle I suppose. It all comes back to you. You simply have to learn what has changed while you were doing other things.

I’ve missed writing, and I hope that I haven’t lost too many people who have frequented this blog in the past. At least now you know why I’ve been away.

Today, we are taking time for ourselves. We are looking to take a small hike somewhere. We bought a book on Connecticut hikes. And tonight, we are going to Grant’s Restaurant in West Hartford. We’ve heard good things about it.

It’s good to be back!

I know that it is an unwritten understanding that you aren’t supposed to talk about work on your personal blog. Never once have I mentioned where I work on this blog, or even the town I work in, for that matter. In fact, I’ve never once talked about work on this blog. So, I’m a bit out on a limb here when I talk about this, but it’s relevant because it effects why I wrote my last posting, and how my life has been the last couple of weeks.

I got back from that wonderful vacation to the Olympic Peninsula, went back to work Monday morning, and within 10 minutes -- I barely had enough time to get my coffee -- someone that I care a lot about on a personal level, someone who has worked for me for the past 12 years, submitted his resignation to me. I don’t take it personally at all. I am happy for him because it looks to be a great opportunity for him. New jobs are not for certain, but if he had to leave, I think this will be a very good pick for him. But I want to say something here that I cannot say to his face. I’m a person who is deeply passionate about people I care about. This man who I have worked with for the last 12 years is like a brother to me. I wish I could tell him that without it being all weird for him. But I can’t. It seems that protocol and workplace policies do not allow for this to happen. But these feelings are there, and I acknowledge them here. They are real for me.

For those at work who may read this blog and find this posting “inappropriate”, I would only remind you that I have never once mentioned by name the people who work for me, the place I work, or, it’s location. For that matter, I’ve never even mentioned exactly what it is I do for a living.

On top of all of this, another individual who works for me is leaving. I’ve come to know him and his family as well. The group I work for has become somewhat of an extended family to me. And he too is leaving. Neither of these has to do with me (as far as I know). It has to do with new opportunities that have opened up and new directions that they want to take their career. For that, I’m happy for them both, and I truly wish them the best.

As for me and my work situation, life will go on. And, all of this will give my work area a new perspective and hopefully will bring with it new ideas that I can apply. After all the initial shock of them leaving, I’m finally getting more excited about a change. It never really was, “Oh My God! They are leaving. Now what?!?!!!?” It was more, two dear friends are leaving. Most of it was like losing some family, and I don’t have a lot of family. The rest of it is the awful process of sitting through interview after interview of people trying to convince me that they are the best candidate.

So, that’s what’s been going on. I won’t dwell on it because I’m mostly over it now. I’m in the “looking forward phase”. It will simply take me time to get used to the new faces. And, I have to once again deal with the fact that I don’t know how they will react to working with someone who is gay. You know, I hate that. I hate that I have to label myself and qualify myself because of the prejudices in society. I hate that I even have to even worry about bringing someone in who may hate gays. Everyone is entitled to their feelings, but that would be a problem to my team of people if that person weren’t able to put a lid on those feelings. I hate that I even have to worry about that. I’ve become comfortable with my past crew that I could simply be myself, and they accepted me. They would talk of Kent and me as a couple and there were no secrets. Now, it starts over again. All I can do is be myself.

Other news.....

My Nikon D200 died. It’s actually not “dead”. It’s more that the flash will work, when it wants too. I took it to the camera shop yesterday. It didn’t flash for them either. Before I took it in, I reset it to factory defaults to see if it was some weird setting I put it in. Still nothing. In the store, it started working for the guy, so I figured he did something to fix it, even though he had no idea what he did.

We left the store, and went to get a bit to eat. Afterwards, we tried the camera again, and the flash would sporadically fire. I took it back to the store and said in a joking matter about my D200, “This camera is crap.” Everyone laughed. I told them, “Let’s just send it in. They can clean it and inspect it.” I suspect that the flash sensor is going out.

So, I’m without my D200 for 2-6 weeks! But, I have no trips planned so this will be a good time to do it. I still have my D70, which takes great shots as well. So, I’m afraid you will all just have to suffer through more photos.

Also, my poor little Vaio is slowing dieing. Or maybe, over time, I’ve come to expect more performance. At any rate, I’m thinking of a new notebook. I’m tired of everything Windows and a lot of the inherent problems that comes with Windows. I went to the Mac store yesterday and I’m thinking of getting a MacBook PRO (17 inch monitor):

2.4GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
1680 x 1050 pixels
2GB memory (would probably boost that to 4GB)
160GB hard drive1
8x double-layer SuperDrive
NVIDIA GeForce 8600M GT graphics with 256MB SDRAM

And while I’m at it, I may throw in an iPod as well. My iRiver music player is on the fritz.

Happy Sunday everyone. I’m going downstairs to get breakfast ready. We are having toasted bagels with cream cheese, smoked salmon, tomatoes brushed with truffle oil and seasoned with a bit of sale and pepper, onion, and capers.

Cecilia Bartoli sings Vivaldi. It’s beyond words. Simply a wonderful musician.

As many of you know, Beverly Sills passed away on July 2, 2007.

I’ve been so busy, I haven’t posted in awhile. None of us live forever. But there are some things that we all take for granted. For me, it’s not that Beverly Sills is gone, it’s more that maybe we have lost the dream that she always talked about. She was always an optimist. When I think of her, two things come to mind. She said, “Everything is obtainable. Dream BIG.” And of course, there was that voice that was distinctly hers.

One item of interest I came across was an audition form that was filled out by her when she was 10 year old.

One morning about a year ago, I was awakened by singing. I had my television programmed to come on at 5:30 in the morning to wake me up. Kent entered the bedroom to get me up. I was half asleep. He asked me if I knew what that was. I responded, “Beverly Sills. Hamlet. Act III.” I could just tell her voice.

I have a few favorite performances in my mind from her career. I remember watching her perform a lot, and I always walked away feeling uplifted by them. She was known for her coloratura work. In my opinion, it’s the most demanding style to sing. It requires extreme flexibility and vocal dexterity. And, most singers who excel in this usually have 10-15 peak years. After that, it’s gone. I could hear this happening in her voice as time went on. This recording of “Una Voce Poco Fa”, Rosina’s aria from Il barbiere di Siviglia, is one of my favorites. It was recorded in 1976, four years before she retired.

Later, she went on to perform Queen Elizabeth I in “Roberto Devereux” by Gaetano Donizetti. This even got the attention of Time Magazine.

Well, it got my attention too. My first thought, “What in the hell is she doing? This is a heavy and deeply dramatic role. She will kill her voice!” And I remember her saying that she never sung Puccini because it was “too heavy for my voice”, something I completely agreed with. She had a lyric voice that excelled in lighter roles with breathtaking results. I often thought that Lucia di Lammermoor was on the borderline in the heaviness category for her. Then, she comes out and does Roberto Devereux. She even reworked her vocal technique to do this feat. “Mind over matter,” as she put it. The result was quite amazing, and it shortened her career. But she wanted the more dramatic roles later in her career, and she knew it would come with a price. And, I remember thinking, “And this isn’t as heavy as Puccini?”

A few favorites... This is one of Kent’s favorites, from Linda di Chamounix. She makes it look so damn easy.

There are so many others. I guess I will say goodbye to Beverly as she did in her farewell concert in 1980, that she ended with “Tell Me Why”.

Time has come for me to leave you.
Tis the moment for goodbye.
Ah my sweet, we have to part now.
Please brush your tears from those dear eyes.

We have shared so much together.
Tis not the end but a new start.
Ah, my dear, I’ll always love you.
You’ll be forever in my heart.

Ah, my dear, I’ll always love you.
You’ll be forever in my heart.

Goodbye Beverly. I still dream big. I just wish that I had your cheer -- that cheer that you always seemed to have, even against all the obstacles that you had in your personal life. You were an inspiration to me.